Recently Marla wrote with the following questions: “how can I pull her out of the “I will not and you can’t make me!” mindset and nudge her back into “if I do this we can all have a good time” mindset? When she has her battle armor on, she will argue with me about everything… she will sometimes yell and sometimes I yell. I try to get to her level and talk about it, but sometimes I’m not sure what to say. We just need to get ready to go. You know?”
For Marla, the situation is a little bit more complicated as Gracie has Down Syndrome. But I was so happy that we could record our coaching call – EVERY young child gets that battle armor sometimes!
Today I’m thrilled to bring you my parent coaching call with Marla. Like you, she is a parent who loves her child fiercely and and yet also struggles with the day-to-day issues that every child can bring up. When I checked in with Marla recently she had really great news about streamlining their busy mornings, and you’ll hear about that towards the end of this episode.
Click here or go to weturnedoutokay.com/082 to check out Marla’s beautiful schedule board, created for Gracie based on the advice I was able to share, and also for key links to today’s episode!
Like so much else in life, the struggles that Gracie was having in the morning felt to me like transition issues. When we say to our kids “it’s time for you to stop doing what you want to do… and come do what I want you to do” they often hate to be interrupted (as do we ourselves!) Well, when we must interrupt them and they have to come do what we need them to do, that’s a transition.
I suggested that Marla create a schedule board so that Gracie could see, in a very concrete way, what has already been accomplished, what’s coming next, and can feel a thrill at the idea of progressing along the schedule board.
Marla changed the language that she uses with Grace, incorporating positive goals and very small wins into each day. She writes: “I also have been trying harder to give her a positive goal like, “we need to get ready for school so you can go on the field trip today.” Or “we need to hurry and brush hair if you want to wear your sparkly shoes.” I’ve been trying to make it possible to offer one positive goal every morning, even if it is listening to a Lion King song in the car.”
Marla finishes her note: “mornings are going much smoother these days.”
When I read Marla’s email, saw the schedule board she made for Gracie – so beautiful, and so useful as well! – I had a smile on my face for the whole rest of the day.
The ability to help people like Marla, like you, is one of the true thrills in my life.
Behind the scenes here at We Turned Out Okay, I’ve been working hard on a way to more intensively help you, a way that I can get to know you and your situation personally and offer ideas, support, and advice especially for you.
Today I have a big announcement: the Ninja Parenting Community is opening soon, on or about June 20, 2016!
It’s a community for parents of young children, moms and dads who want more access to my knowledge of kids and how to keep them from driving you nuts; I’ll be in the forums nearly every day, answering questions and engaging with parents just like you.
But it is SO much more than that – it’s a place where parents can share resources, vent in the Parent Meltdown Corner and know that a virtual hug and some kind words are coming their way. Starting this summer, each month we will have a live call, so you can ask your questions and I can answer them, live and in person!
It’s also in beta right now, which means two great things for you:
1) when you join, it’s your ideas that make this community exactly what you want it to be – if there is a training or a class you want me to create around any aspect of parenting young children, just ask me in the forums and I will get working on it!
2) joining the Ninja Parenting Community is half the cost of what it will be in the future. Right now, a month of fun, support, and advice costs about the same as a couple of pizzas, and will remain that way as long as you’re a part of the community (even though future members will be paying a higher price.)
Click this link or go to weturnedoutokay.com/calm-cool-ninja-parent to learn more!