146: How the Wrong Kind of Pressure Damages Kids: Our First Roundtable!

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Today’s episode – which has some swears, please listen away from your kids or with headphones – is one I’ve been working on putting together for a really long time: in it, a corporate lawyer, a midwife, and I sit down in a roundtable and discuss 3 topics really relevant to you, one chosen by each of us.

Corporate lawyer and mom-of-2 Angela Gregory lived down the street from us until just a few years ago, and has been a great role model for me about how to follow your passion as the family breadwinner and support your loved ones as the kids grow up.

Midwife and mom in a blended family of five children Dina Fraize has also been a great role model, showing how to embrace the chaos in a large family and raise thoughtful, engaged young men.

We’ve been friends now for years, since our kids were pretty small, and I know you’re going to get so much out of our conversation! Or should I say, conversations… this is part one of 2 roundtables because we just had so much to talk about.

Up for discussion today: how to not raise a-holes, The French Toast Alert System and how the culture of fear really messes with parents of young children, and making sure sure that we don’t put the wrong kinds of pressure on our young kids!

Click weturnedoutokay.com/146 for show notes and key links, including sign-up links to two upcoming free, live online classes I’m teaching: 1) the FAQ Q&A about the Ninja Parenting Community coming up THIS Thursday, March 30 and where you can get a free copy of my parenting book, Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics and 2) the Common Parenting Challenges class coming up April 20!


Get a FREE copy of the book that helps you simultaneously raise kids and stay sane!

What: I’m hosting a live Q&A about the Ninja Parenting Community (not coincidentally, built to help you simultaneously raise kids and stay sane : )

When: Get your questions answered – and get your free copy of the book – on
Thursday, March 30, 2017 8 PM EST

How: Sign up just by clicking the button below!
Click Here to Register


Come to my free, live, online class on handling Common Parenting Challenges!

Why: to learn :
– how to avoid fighting about parenting stuff with your spouse
what to do when your child rebels against your daily schedule
– how to teach your young child patience
– how to handle your young child’s disrespectful “No!”

When: Thursday, April 20, 2017, 8 PM EST

Class is interactive – bring your questions!

You’ll receive a free, downloadable reference for the next time you come up against one of these challenges…

Sign up for “How to Handle 4 Common Parenting Challenges” by clicking the button below:
Click Here to Register

Topic 1: The French Toast Alert System
– I brought this one up because I thought it was hilarious, a system that alerts people about upcoming snowstorms by gauging the likelihood of meeting to go out and buy milk, eggs, and bread (which up here in the Northeast, as a snowstorm is bearing down, are 3 commodities that sell out fast!)
– But our conversation moves quickly to the question: are alert systems a good thing? Do they desensitize, stress out, make us pay attention to the wrong stuff?

Topic 2: How to Not Raise A-holes
– Dina brought the question of topics for today’s show to her family, and her 21-year-old came up with the idea “how to not raise an a-hole.”
– This quickly leads into attachment parenting and a general consideration of what it takes to ensure our kids aren’t jerks when they grow up.

Topic 3: Too Much Pressure
– Angela has been thinking about the pressures put on her kids since they started high school in fall 2015. The pressures on her kids, and their peers, seems crazy to her!
– We discuss: the different kinds of pressures on kids; how to shield young kids and/or help them deal with pressure.

Key Links:

Check out the French Toast Alert System here!

Click here to see The Gift of Fear, Dina’s book recommendation, in Amazon.

Click here to find out more about the Ninja Parenting Community, the place where I work closely with moms and dads just like you to handle their kids’ bad behavior, advocate for their children, and overall be happier in parenting.