Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!
It’s been a busy few weeks in the Ninja Parenting Community – I counted twenty different issues that parents in there are collectively dealing with – and I knew that, if they’re having these issues, most likely so are you!
Lots of them are bigger issues – but some of them can be resolved so easily. In today’s episode, I talk about one of the latter, and how simply by changing one phrase to a related, but different phrase makes disciplining our kids lots easier.
The reason has to do with child development, and the simple fact that kids aren’t just small adults; they have a completely different way of understanding the world from us. Once we know that, it makes everything else easier.
To find out more about today’s ninja tactic, listen to this short-and-sweet episode, or go to weturnedoutokay.com/159 for show notes and key links!
Today, we take “I need you to…” and turn it around on its head: it becomes “you need to…”
It may seem like too small a change to really make a difference – but it makes a huge difference. I promise.
The reason is because children cannot take on others’ perspectives.
Especially when they’re very young, but all the way up to adolescence, kids’ focus is really inward, on themselves.
When we say to them “I need you to…” they don’t really care. Not because they’re mean children, but simply because they can’t see from our perspective.
Telling them instead “you need to…” has the desired effect because, in seeing only from their own perspective, being told what they need to do – directly, firmly, and without rancor or anger – works perfectly.
Here’s an example: “I need you to stop throwing that ball in the house” won’t work because your son or daughter can’t view this from your perspective – it’s not about what you need, it’s about what she needs, and throwing the ball in the house still sounds like a great idea.
Changing it to “you need to stop throwing the ball in the house” relates directly to the child; he understands from his own perspective what he needs to do.
Try it out – I bet this quick and simple Ninja Tactic will work wonders for you.
Questions? Give me a holler at weturnedoutokay.com/contact!
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With littles, meltdowns are hard to avoid.
So I came up with the HEART method to help you:
– remain calm
– stop worrying about judginess with public tantrums
– know you’re not alone
To calmly, decisively handle every on of your child’s tantrums, click the button below!
Click here for the link in Amazon to Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics: Key Tools to Handle Every Temper Tantrum, Keep Your Cool, and Enjoy Life With Your Young Child.
That’s the book I wrote that contains all the original ninja tactics – it’ll help you every day.
Click here for the Ninja Parenting Community – the name is based on the above book, and the community is where I help moms and dads just like you figure out their toughest parenting challenges. Give it a try, I bet it could be really helpful if you’re struggling to keep your sanity while raising kids!