The 2 Most Dangerous Words in a Parent’s Vocabulary (Podcast Episode 219)

Kids. Sometimes, it’s a good thing they’re cute.

Today’s podcast episode shares one simple change you can make that will affect how your child behaves.

Read on, and listen to today’s episode, to learn this simple change yourself and start using it to truly enjoy the time you spend with your kids!

Working with parents of young children,

one phrase comes up again and again – one really dangerous phrase.

It’s dangerous because it perpetuates bad behavior from our kids, which none of us want… Yet, it is really hard not to use it.

You probably use this phrase yourself; I know I have!

Here’s the thing: we do not want to ASK our kids “would you like to stop hitting your sister now?”

Instead, we want them to simply STOP hitting their sister.

(Or whatever thing they’re doing right now that is potentially harmful/driving us crazy/making us question our life choices : )

Today I share:
– Exactly what the two most dangerous words in a parent’s vocabulary are
– Why these words get used so often
What you can say instead for good behavior from your child

Today’s episode helps you get past the bad behavior so you can fulfill your ultimate goal of truly enjoying family time!


Read more about these two dangerous words and what to say instead…
Find every back episode of the We Turned Out Okay podcast…
Sign up for the 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting Class…
All at

Happy listening!

The 2 Most Dangerous Words

Today’s episode is all about HOW we talk to our kids.

We do not want to ASK our kids “would you like to stop hitting your sister now?”

Instead, we want them to simply STOP hitting their sister.

(Or whatever thing they’re doing right now that is potentially harmful/driving us crazy/making us question our life choices : )

Without knowing it, too often we give our kids the upper hand by communicating to them a question, rather than a directive.


Here come those 2 Words:

And, we do it with the words “okay, honey?”

Yes. Those are the two little words that are the most dangerous in your vocabulary.

Just think about how often you say to your child “okay, honey?”

If you’re anything like the folks I have been coaching recently, it’s a lot.

Every time you need your child to do something – that you really NEED your child to do, like stop hitting a sibling – lots of us have learned to attempt to soften that directive into a request.

But, we forget that requesting something means the person on the receiving end now has a CHOICE.

We are saying effectively “you can say no to this, but would you please [insert urgent thing that needs to happen now here]?”

Want to know what to say instead? Find out just below.


If you need help not using the 2 Dangerous Words

But first, if you need help avoiding those two dangerous words (or others that you may not even know you’re using), come and join us in the private coaching community where I help parents like you change their child’s behavior for the better every day.

NPC Membership helps you through:
– Live, members-only calls where you get solutions to your toughest parenting challenges
– Courses on everything from stopping sibling rivalry to what to do instead of spanking
– Parent Coaching Calls that members call “the most helpful part of my Ninja Parenting Community membership”

With all that and more, we have got you covered.

Join the Ninja Parenting Community today and make the time you spend with your young children your favorite time!
Get Help in our Private Coaching Community Today


What you can say instead of “Okay, honey?”

Ever feel like this is you, when you’re trying to get your child to behave? If so today’s show has got you covered.

Here are three great, useful substitutes!

1) “It’s time to…”
This one works great in lots of situations:
“It’s time to come to the breakfast table.”
“It’s time for your bath.”
“It’s time to put your dishes in the sink.” 
Stated in the right tone of voice, this phrase works like magic. Suddenly, your child is actually doing what you are telling them to do!

2) “Stop that now.”
Whatever egregious behavior you are seeing, this one stops it instantly – especially when it’s communicated in the right tone.

3) “That’s not a choice right now.”
I love this expression.
It can be said in a gentle way – never a question, so don’t end this with a question mark – when it’s clear your child is super sad about whatever “that” is that’s no longer a choice.
It can be said in a firmer and more businesslike way, when you need your child to stop misbehaving immediately.

Just remember, for all three:

This is a complete attitude shift on your part.

We are not asking… We are firmly telling.

Done right, this alleviates SO many of the behavior problems you face every day.

Need help doing it right? Click the orange button above and join the Ninja Parenting Community, where I can personally help you get it right and change your child’s behavior for the better!

The 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting

In today’s episode I share about the live, free, online class I am teaching

If you want to change your child’s behavior from bad to good, feel happy inside, and start truly enjoying the time you spend with your young kids, you want to take this FREE class.

In it I teach the distillation of everything I have learned in:
– My years as a preschool teacher
– Becoming an expert in child development
– As a parent myself
– As a Parent Coach who works with people all the time, helping them make the time they spend with their kids into happy family time.

Click this button for details and to sign up for the 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting Class:
Click Here for the 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting Class


Key Links:

GREAT NEWS – I’m teaching a live, in-person workshop on how to handle the Parent Witching Hour, in which licensed mental health counselor and coping skills expert Janine Halloran and I share our best ideas for turning your weeknight chaos into happy family time!

The workshop runs on April 23, it’s free, and it’s taking place at my local library… Come on out if you’re in the area so you can learn to make your weeknights chaos free and downright enjoyable!
Click here to register!

If you need practical advice to deal with your child’s bad behavior, check out my book.
It’s called Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, and I wrote it especially to help parents handle kids’ tough behavior, because parents need to eliminate the bad before they can be happy at home.
It’s available in Amazon, but since you’re here – since you took the time to come visit – I want to give you a better deal than Amazon.
Click here for details on Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics!

Join the private WTOO Facebook group… Click here!

Click here to check out We Turned Out Okay’s How-to Videos, to learn about how to help your kids eat more fruits and vegetables, how to help them learn to read, and more!

If you love the show, please rate and review us in Apple Podcasts… That’s how so many people find us. Click here to rate/review, and thanks so much!