Raise successful, fulfilled kids by avoiding this big mistake | Podcast Episode 247

Today’s show dives into something difficult to imagine, when your kids are so young and your focus is on stuff like temper tantrums, sibling fights, and picky eaters.

We can wonder, what miracle will occur, just in the next decade or so, to change my kid from being so young and helpless, to someone who can lead a successful, fulfilled, and happy life?

Today, I’m beginning a deep dive into the idea of raising successful and fulfilled kids.

The idea was born years ago, when friends would lament the idea of the lack of business and entrepreneurship education in K-12 school.

Then several months ago it crystallized, when a friend, thinking he was motivating his child, changed his boy’s internally-motivated entrepreneurial activity to one with strings attached (the boy wouldn’t get his weekly allowance unless he worked on this previously for-fun, now parent mandated business activity.)

Today I share how you can avoid making this mistake.
Because it IS a huge mistake – and the repercussions can ripple out over your child’s entire adult life.

This is one we really need to get right, so listen in and find out how.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/247 for:

  • A cheat sheet on the 4 steps outlined in this episode that you can take to avoid this mistake
  • What’s up in the We Turned Out Okay universe, including tons of free resources : )
  • The video of the week: “Introverted parent, extroverted child”

And thank you so much for listening!


Video of the Week:


4 Steps to keeping your kids motivated (so they can grow into successful, fulfilled, happy adults)

1) Recognize what your child is intrinsically drawn to.

2) Support this intrinsic interest.
This is best accomplished in a low key way, asking your child what he likes about it; giving your child time to develop this interest: and investing only the resources your child asks you to invest, i.e. don’t make her take piano lessons when your child just wants to tinker on the piano.

3) Don’t, under any circumstances, put external restrictions on your child’s internally motivated interest.
While it may seem like the right path, it is dangerous! Paying your child for good grades, or making their allowance contingent upon the accomplishment of some hobby-related goal, can backfire badly, driving your child further away from the hobby, and most important further away from you.

4) Support your child’s intrinsic interests, even as they change from one to another.
So she used to be totally into electric violin, and now she’s moved on to skateboarding? That is awesome! She’ll take the lessons learned from the earlier interest into her life, just as Steve Jobs took his interest in calligraphy into his Apple computers, which is why we have so many fonts to play with today.


Key Links

Click here for episode 113, my conversation with Cheryl Tan (the one in which she gives us parenting advice, though she knows that we will hate it, and it’s good advice 🙂

Click here for episode 221, my conversation with Steven Taylor, our financial planner and dad to two wonderful little boys.

Click here for episode 134, my conversation with Jessica Lahey, author of the New York Times bestseller The Gift of Failure, the book that helped me understand that kids need to fall down, and how to support them as they figure out how to get back up.

Click here for episode 243, my conversation with Jonathan Greene, about raising trustworthy kids.

If you get good value from We Turned Out Okay, please rate and review the show! That helps others find us, so they can get good help too.
Click here to give us a quick rating and 1-sentence review in Apple, and thanks!


In the WTOO Universe

Awesome FREE Resources…

If potty training is getting you down, let me send you – completely free – the first lesson of my course on how to potty train successfully, even under pressure!
Click here to receive Lesson 1: How to Make This Take the Shortest Amount of Time Possible.

Click here for the free 5-part podcast series on how to get good weeknights with kids.

Join the private WTOO Facebook group… Click here!
The Facebook group is where I do our Magic Words for Parents Facebook live every Monday 🙂

Click here for the We Turned Out Okay Facebook page.

Click here for the Karen Lock Kolp page in YouTube, where you’ll find helpful videos (like this one on what to do when your child is jumping on the couch for your attention, at the worst possible time.)


… And some mind-blowing (if not free) resources for you:


Potty training little kids is never easy. That’s why I created a complete course, Successful Potty Training Under Pressure, to help!
This course gets you ready for potty training with:

  • Gear recommendations, both essential and nice-to-have
  • Scripts so you know exactly what to say when your child has accidents or other struggles
  • Fixes for common problems – like if your child doesn’t care about sitting in a wet or poopy situation, or if you’re struggling to work well with your child’s school or caregiver

I created this course to give you everything you need to successfully potty train your child.
Click the link below to check it out!


What’s frustrating you right now in your parenting?

Kids cut us in so many ways. If yours make you want to scream with sibling fights, embarrassing outbursts, and not respecting you, get help in the Ninja Parenting Community!

NPC Parent Coaching Community Membership helps you through:
– Live, members-only calls where you get solutions to your toughest parenting challenges
– Courses on everything from stopping sibling rivalry to what to do instead of spanking, and including Successful Potty Training Under Pressure
– Parent Coaching Calls that members call “the most helpful part of my Ninja Parenting Community membership

With all that and more, we have got you covered!

Join the Ninja Parenting Community today and make the time you spend with your young children your favorite time!
Get Help in our Private Coaching Community Today