Should I make my kids do chores? | Podcast episode 256

I feel your pain about getting kids to do chores.

They whine, and complain, and with enough of that, we begin to ask ourselves “is this really necessary? I could have already had this done myself, and saved us all this trouble.”

But if kids don’t do chores, what happens? Are they any more or less likely to have a successful, fulfilled, happy life?

Today we dive into this topic. We explore the right chore mindset, and three practical steps you can take, regarding chores and your child.

Go to for:

  • My chore cheat sheet, explaining the mindset and practical tips to help you in the moment
  • The scoop on my latest book, just out! One reviewer says “If you’re ready for communication and mutual respect to replace chaos and misbehavior, do yourself a favor and read 10 Secrets Happy Parents Know.
  • The video of the week: “How to have a well behaved child at a party”

And thank you so much for listening!

Temper Tantrums and Potty Training:

During today’s break I share about two helpful free guides I offer.
While the podcast is long-form – your opportunity to look into the mind of a child development expert – the free guides are super quick.

You can watch the video, read the checklist, and immediately handle the temper tantrums or get started with potty training (depending on which guide you choose : )

  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to handle every temper tantrum
  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to successfully potty train your child

Video of the Week:


Chore Cheat Sheet

So, should we make our kids do chores? Unquestionably, yes.

Overcoming the whining and the tantrums about having to do chores is SO worth it. Without chores, kids lose out on opportunities to:

  • “Know firsthand what struggling looks like, and… Take on tasks independently.” – Julie Lythcott-Haims
  • Figure out how to take care of themselves, and their loved ones
  • Understand how important their contributions are to the family system in which they live

That’s a lot of important stuff for our kids to take in! Here are the practical ideas for making it happen:

1) Start with the words “it’s time to…”
Use your best “parent” voice here, which I do spend some time discussing in this episode (and you can read more about this parenting voice in my book, 10 Secrets Happy Parents Know.)

2) If you get whining, or complaining, make sure your child knows why they need to do the chore:
“In our family, we help each other.”

3) Be consistent in your upholding of your child’s responsibilities.
When we are inconsistent, it’s confusing for kids, and it makes for more stress about chores, rather than less.

How do you do these?

Let me know! I’d love to hear what questions you have around implementing these, and also if you’ve hit upon a method which works in your family!
Click here to go to my contact page.


Key Links

Click here for the most recent episode in my “successful, fulfilled, happy people” series.
It was episode 253, all about the three ways that we can be less stressed (because our stress makes it less likely that our kids will be successful and fulfilled in their own lives. Crazy, right? But true.)

Click here for the Harvard Grant Study, which I talk about in today’s break.

Click here for the Independent article that started me down this wonderful rabbit hole of raising successful and fulfilled kids in the first place.

Click here for Julie Lythcott-Haims’ book, How to Raise an Adult.

My latest book, 10 Secrets Happy Parents Know, is officially out!!
Click here to read more!


In the WTOO Universe

Join the private WTOO Facebook group… Click here!
The Facebook group is where I do our Magic Words for Parents Facebook live every Monday 🙂


Mind-blowing (if not free) resources for you:

Potty training little kids is never easy. That’s why I created a complete course, Successful Potty Training Under Pressure, to help!
This course gets you ready for potty training with:

  • Gear recommendations, both essential and nice-to-have
  • Scripts so you know exactly what to say when your child has accidents or other struggles
  • Fixes for common problems – like if your child doesn’t care about sitting in a wet or poopy situation, or if you’re struggling to work well with your child’s school or caregiver

I created this course to give you everything you need to successfully potty train your child.
Click the link below to check it out!


“I am feeling able to handle this! I truly cannot thank you enough.”
– NPC Member & Mom of 3YO Boy

What’s frustrating you right now in your parenting?

Kids cut us in so many ways. But change is possible! Learn to truly enjoy family time by joining the Ninja Parenting Community!

Membership in our exclusive parent coaching community helps you through:

  • Live, members-only calls where you get solutions to your toughest parenting challenges
  • Courses on everything from stopping sibling rivalry to what to do instead of spanking, including the complete Successful Potty Training Under Pressure course

With all that and more, we have got you covered!

Join the Ninja Parenting Community today and make the time you spend with your young children your favorite time!
Get Help in our Private Coaching Community Today


Awesome FREE Resources…

If potty training is getting you down, let me send you – completely free – the first lesson of my course on how to potty train successfully, even under pressure!
Click here to receive Lesson 1: How to Make This Take the Shortest Amount of Time Possible.

Click here for the free 5-part podcast series on how to get good weeknights with kids.

Click here for the We Turned Out Okay Facebook page.

Click here for the Karen Lock Kolp page in YouTube, where you’ll find helpful videos (like this one on what to do when your child is jumping on the couch for your attention, at the worst possible time.)