Your questions – about dealing with intolerance, surviving crummy daycare, shoe-throwing, and more – answered with veteran preschool teacher Tricia Tomaso | Episode 267

Wondering what to do when:
– Your child fills the pull up or leaks through, every single night, despite being potty trained during the day?
– You are stuck – at least for a little while – with subpar childcare?
– Your child is being picked on due to intolerance?

We answer these questions and more, in today’s episode!
I’m so excited to bring you another round of Ask the Experts with Tricia Tomaso!

[FYI: in the break I mention having One Question for you… Click here to hear the bonus episode about the question, and click here to answer the question!]

Go to for:

  • A cheat sheet on the questions and answers we share in this episode
  • Key links from today’s episode
  • The video of the week: “How to help your child if they’re being picked on or bullied”

And thank you so much for listening!

Temper Tantrums and Potty Training:

During today’s break I share about two helpful free guides I offer.
While the podcast is long-form – your opportunity to look into the mind of a child development expert – the free guides are super quick.

You can watch the video, read the checklist, and immediately handle the temper tantrums or get started with potty training (depending on which guide you choose : )

  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to handle every temper tantrum
  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to successfully potty train your child
  • Want to receive valuable ideas and tips on parenting, without either free guide above? Click here for my weekly parenting newsletter!

Video of the Week:


Cheat sheet on our answers to today’s questions

Q1: “What coping skills can I teach my child to handle the religious intolerance she is dealing with at school?” – Jen
Tricia and I agree, confronting intolerance is something a child needs help with. We recommend helping her:
1) Use I-messages to explain “it hurts my feelings when you talk like that”
2) Say “I won’t play with you when you talk like that. I will play with someone who is kind!”

Q2: “How can our wonderful, active, and typical (not special needs) 3-year-old survive the next several months in our current subpar childcare situation?
Meta-level: Recognize that the problem is not with your child. It is with the teachers.
1) Do not engage in any “here are all the infractions your child committed today in our care” conversations
2) Meet with the teachers and ask them “how can his last X weeks here be positive?”

Q3: “What should we look for when searching for good childcare?
1) Teachers who understand kids as active, impulsive, whole children who need the freedom to move around and make their own choices very frequently during the day.
2) A flexible, vibrant routine that includes lots of outdoor time, even in inclement weather
3) A willingness to think of parents as teammates

(The questions above come from members of our private coaching community, the Ninja Parenting Community, where I work closely to help identify and address parents’ biggest challenges with their kids. To become a member, click here. Then you and I can work together, you can enjoy the time you spend with your young children!)

Q4: “My child is filling his pull up every night, sometimes even leaking through, despite being (nearly) completely potty trained during the day. What can I do?”
Sometimes kids struggle with feeling that they had to go to the bathroom, if they’re in a deep sleep. It’s possible he is outgrowing the pull up as well. We recommend moving to a bigger nighttime diaper, to contain the leaks until he can control his bladder better while asleep.

Q5: “How can we help our son (who has Down Syndrome) cope with big changes in our schedule?”
We recommend creating a visual schedule, interactive if possible, and creating social stories so that he can be prepared for these changes ahead of time, and come back to these comforting visuals during the changes.

Q6: “What should I do when my child, who is not in fact sick, says “I’m sick” when I make some perfectly reasonable demand of him?”
We recommend (after determining that he is truly not sick) acknowledging “I’m sorry you are not feeling well.. Now, it’s time for X.” In other words, move past “not feeling well” as quickly as possible.

Q7: “How can I stop my child from taking off his shoes and throwing them on the bus? I am not there when this is happening.”
We recommend offering some kind of reward for keeping shoes on. We recommend going as far as giving him a card to hold in his hand, so that he can remind himself “if I keep my shoes on I get to… at home”

Please keep in mind: this is just a cheat sheet. Scroll to the bottom of this post and click the triangular “play” button to listen to the entire episode. That way you’ll have a good understanding of each of these questions and answers.

Key Links

Click here to listen to my first conversation with Tricia, back in episode 248.

Click here for episode 194, my conversation with Joshilyn Jackson, author of the wonderful book The Almost Sisters, which Tricia and I talk about today.

Click here for Slate’s interesting article about the relationship between bladder control and constipation.

Ninja Parents: click here for the post in our forums on bladder control, constipation, and other fun potty training stuff! If you’re not yet a member of NPC, access this and all the other content by clicking here to join.

During the break I reference my conversation with Dan Blank, all about productivity, creativity, and how to get more of each in your life. Click here to listen to our conversation.

Also during the break I reference 10 Secrets Happy Parents Know, the book I wrote to help you enjoy the time you spend with your family… Go to to check it out.


In the WTOO Universe

Join the private WTOO Facebook group… Click here!
The Facebook group is where I do our Magic Words for Parents Facebook live every Monday 🙂

Click here for my channel in YouTube, where you’ll find helpful videos (like this one on what to do when your child is jumping on the couch for your attention, at the worst possible time.)

My latest book, 10 Secrets Happy Parents Know, is officially out!!
Click here to read more!


Mind-blowing (if not free) resources for you:

Potty training little kids is never easy. That’s why I created a complete course, Successful Potty Training Under Pressure, to help!
This course gets you ready for potty training with:

  • Gear recommendations, both essential and nice-to-have
  • Scripts so you know exactly what to say when your child has accidents or other struggles
  • Fixes for common problems – like if your child doesn’t care about sitting in a wet or poopy situation, or if you’re struggling to work well with your child’s school or caregiver

I created this course to give you everything you need to successfully potty train your child.
Click the link below to check it out!


“I am feeling able to handle this! I truly cannot thank you enough.”
– NPC Member & Mom of 3YO Boy

What’s frustrating you right now in your parenting?

Kids cut us in so many ways. But change is possible! Learn to truly enjoy family time by joining the Ninja Parenting Community!

Membership in our exclusive parent coaching community helps you through:

  • Live, members-only calls where you get solutions to your toughest parenting challenges
  • Courses on everything from stopping sibling rivalry to what to do instead of spanking, including the complete Successful Potty Training Under Pressure course

With all that and more, we have got you covered!

Join the Ninja Parenting Community today and make the time you spend with your young children your favorite time!
Get Help in our Private Coaching Community Today


Awesome FREE Resources…

If potty training is getting you down, let me send you – completely free – the first lesson of my course on how to potty train successfully, even under pressure!
Click here to receive Lesson 1: How to Make This Take the Shortest Amount of Time Possible.

Click here for the free 5-part podcast series on how to get good weeknights with kids.

Click here for the We Turned Out Okay Facebook page.

Click here for the Karen Lock Kolp page in YouTube, where you’ll find helpful videos (like this one on what to do when your child is jumping on the couch for your attention, at the worst possible time.)