Do you ever feel like your family life is sliding in a direction you don’t want? In today’s episode you will hear how one mom, a coaching client of mine, worked with me to take control.
Getting control over the direction her family is going has brought has meant many good things, including fun, fulfillment, and real joy.
Listen in as Jen, mother of 2 young girls, talks about what she’s learned in our private coaching community, and how it has changed her life, and her family life.
Plus in Parenting News: the You Are Not So Smart Podcast did a recent episode on the super-famous Marshmallow Experiment, which has been used to predict how successful a child will be, based on their ability to delay gratification. I LOVE this podcast, which I actually started listening to because of another episode, and it is the subject of today’s Parenting News because I think you would find it really helpful too.
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/288 for a rundown of the HEART method of handling every temper tantrum, which comes up in this episode!
- Click here for Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, the book Jen mentions as essential reading in getting control of the direction her family was going
- Click here to learn more about working closely with me, either as a private coaching client or, like Jen, as a member of the Ninja Parenting Community
And thank you so much for listening!
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How to handle every temper tantrum: think HEART.
H is for “Haven.”
Create a haven, a place for your child to have a temper tantrum. Someplace where they can’t hurt themselves or others, and where they are free to have out the temper tantrum in peace.
E is for “Empathy.”
Remember: temper tantrums are crucial in human development. No one becomes a fully functioning adult without having temper tantrums. If we can find some empathy, some understanding, for what our child is going through, tantrums will be more productive. And, in my experience and those that I work with, more productive tantrums mean fewer tantrums in the long run.
A is for “Abide.”
This is the toughest part. Basically, this part of the formula is about living through the tantrum. Letting your child spin themselves out, safely, until we can all move on to the next letter:
R is for “Reintegrate.”
Another tricky part, because for many of us – myself included – it’s easy to say something sarcastic or ironic, when your child finishes up with the tantrum and wants to return to the world. Especially if this is the fifteenth tantrum of the day.
Help your child reintegrate as gently as possible, and as un-ironically as you can.
T is for “Trust.”
Yay! The tantrum is over. Until next time, anyway. This letter helps us remember that, over time, kids are learning that they can trust us to repeat this formula, for each and every temper tantrum.
It’s how they learn to master their own temper tantrums. In effect, it’s how you help them handle every temper tantrum.
I hope that’s helpful as you raise your kiddos!
If you need personal help – more than I can provide with the podcast, or this newsletter – consider working with me. I LOVE working with parents closely, to help them solve the problems that come up while raising kids, so they can have the kind of family life they dream about.
The kind of family life that Jen randomly searched for on the Internet, and wasn’t finding, until she joined NPC.
Click here to learn more about working with me.