314: Boundaries with Grandparents

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll down to the very bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

I love this picture so much! Here’s hoping this grandma is not of the selfish and controlling sort.

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll down to the very bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

“My dad and stepmom are, simply put, selfish and controlling. They guilt me about not seeing my son more often, and usually want us to drive an hour out to their very not-kid-friendly house. How do I find a line of how often to see/talk to them that works for me and my kid?”
So writes one of our most beloved ninja parents, known in the Ninja Parenting Community forums as Mama Llama.
Maybe her feelings are familiar to you?
In this episode, I outline 5 ways for you to get control of your relationship with your folks (or your in-laws) – on your terms.
Join us!
Cheat sheet of the five ways, plus key links and other good stuff, are located at: weturnedoutokay.com/314

PS This subject is covered far more deeply in the community that I run, NPC.
During January 2020 you can spend your whole first month in the community for just $1! Click here for details.)

Parenting News that Matters as You Raise Your Kids

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I’ve written newsletters on everything from remaining calm when they are throwing dirt at each other, to last week’s, on handling hangry meltdowns and what that has to do with our own self-worth.
Useful stuff.
Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week!


Cheat sheet on the five ways to establish good boundaries with your child’s grandparents:

1. Remember: NOBODY gets to treat you badly, even your parents, or your in-laws.


2. If you don’t like the rules, you must change the game.

If you’re playing their game – in other words, if they are controlling you and bullying you – recognize that and change the game.

3. How do you do that?

Well, and this is a #nosugar kind of thing, start by withdrawing from any communication with them that you don’t want. Withdraw without explanation, which they will not hear anyway.

4. When you communicate with them, treat them how you would like to be treated.


5. Above all remember this: you are an amazing person. Only when your parents can see that, do they become deserving of your time.

 

Key Links:

Upcoming guests Matt Miles and Joe Clement, authors of the fabulous book Screen Schooled, are part of a Code Pineapple live, online summit taking place Tuesday and Wednesday, January 21- 22, 2020. (In other words, today and tomorrow!) If you’re interested in learning about kids and tech and online safety and family harmony, click summit.codepineapple.com and check it out.

NPC members: click here for Mama Llama’s post, “Boundaries with Grandparents.”
(And if you’re not a member but you would like help with your big parenting challenges, click here.)

Click here for one of my favoritey-favorite podcasts, The Adventure Zone, which comes up today in reference to “changing the game if you don’t like it.”

Click here for the Flipped Lifestyle Podcast – and click here for episode 122, my WTOO conversation with hosts Shane and Jocelyn Sams.

Thanks for reading/listening!