337: Addressing our own burnout, AND beloved parenting author Audrey Monke is my guest today!

As a child development expert, I want to help you keep going in our new reality!
This conversation, recorded during March 2020 (in other words at the very beginning of the pandemic here in the US), I know will be super helpful for that.

I am excited to bring you my conversation with the author of one of my favorite parenting books (it’s called Happy Campers) – Audrey Monke of sunshine-parenting.com is today’s OkayCon 2020 guest!

Audrey shares:
– How to stay positive, even while everyone is cooped up together
– Some great family-focused activities you can do to make your stuck at home time more enjoyable
– What lessons Audrey, her family, and counselors and campers (who attend the summer camp Audrey owns and runs) are learning from this time

Learn how to keep going:
In my (free) Weekly Parenting Newsletters I am taking you on my journey of recovering from burnout, exhaustion, and huge feelings of guilt.
I am working to feel at peace with myself – to keep going, raising my kids, keeping our household running, and feeling happy inside – and if you want some tools to help you accomplish those miracles, click this link! Weturnedoutokay.com/weekly

NPC Summer Camp registration ENDS Wednesday 7/1
One way parents have been feeling way better, recovering from exhaustion, handling their kids’ fears, clinginess, and potty training issues: the Ninja Parenting Community.
Get access to everything in the community and enjoy a summer camp program created just for you, if you are looking for connection and positivity in our new reality!
I am closing registration to NPC on Wednesday, July 1 at 9 PM EST – enroll today, and take that first step toward being able to feel at peace with yourself and (sustainably) keep going!
Here is the link, jump in while there is still time:
weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC

(go to weturnedoutokay.com/337 for notes to this episode)
We will get through this together!
Cheers –
Karen
Continue reading “337: Addressing our own burnout, AND beloved parenting author Audrey Monke is my guest today!”

Feeling guilty

In a (pre-pandemic) live storytelling event, I looked and felt in my element. There was no guilt or imposter syndrome that day! In this post I outline how I plan to get back my mojo, and I share how I’m taking you along on this journey with me. (Photo by Jennifer Provost)

Hi Friends,

Just a quick note today, wishing you well and sharing a discovery I’ve made about myself:

I’m feeling guilty.

Guilty that I haven’t been as good a parent as I wanted to be in the pandemic.

Guilty for not doing enough to address systemic racism and other injustices.

Guilty that I dove into our emergency chocolate, and finished it all within a few days.

Guilty that, no matter how much I do, it doesn’t feel like enough.

Guilty for thinking “I don’t want to deal with this now” when someone in my family needs me for something.

Guilty for only doing my strength training once, in the last whole month.

And the list goes on.

It’s only just dawned on me that all this guilt comes from a couple places: Continue reading “Feeling guilty”

NPC Summer Camp FAQs – Registration closes Thursday 7/2!

I am excited, I’ve spent the morning planning NPC Summer Camp!

For six weeks starting this coming Friday 6/26, I’m offering this program, and I would love for you to be part of it! (Registration closes Thursday 7/2 : )

I’ve decided the theme is going to be “Cool to be Kind”… NPC Summer Camp will have a kindness component. Some weeks we will go on “kindness adventures,” as Audrey Monke talks about in her book Happy Campers, where we’ll practice random acts of kindness, and involve our kiddos.

And our campfire nights will focus on handling unkindness in our own families, and bringing more kindness into the world.

I think this is really what we need at the moment, both to help in the wider world and to enjoy our time at home with our young ones.

Below are some frequently asked questions about the Ninja Parenting Community and the Summer Camp program. I hope you’ll consider joining!

FAQs about the Ninja Parenting Community, and NPC Summer Camp:

1. How will this program and community help me?

Many parents – especially parents of young children – are experiencing never-before-seen challenges during the pandemic.
If you are exhausted, feel like you can’t go on, are engaging in numbing behaviors to get through the day, feel like all of your patience is gone, you’re certainly not alone!

NPC, and Summer Camp, are designed to exactly help someone in these situations.

In our forums you’ll find:
– An entire course on “how to keep going when you’re exhausted”
– A supportive and loving community, where members feel “seen and heard”
– A whole summer’s worth of fun and helpful activities, specifically designed to help you thrive (because that’s the only way you’ll be able to help your kiddos thrive)
– Lots of ways for you to live IN these tough times, so that you can live through them

2. Is it just for parents of little kids?

We’ve got members with kids ranging in age from babies, all the way on up to age 12.
So much of raising kids is the mindset that we parents bring to it. You’re the same person, whether your child is a toddler or a tween.
Our children challenge us at every age; NPC can help regardless of how old your child is.

3. I’m a technophobe… What if I can’t login? Or navigate around once I’m in the Forums?

I am there to help every step of the way! (And I am a technophobe as well… So I know exactly where you’re coming from : )
NPC works great on your home computer, laptop, tablet or phone.
And I’ve just gone through a redesign of the forums, so there even simpler to navigate and find what you’re looking for quickly.

4. What if I can’t be at the community’s live events?

It’s great fun when you can, but not a problem if you can’t!
Many people never make it to our twice monthly live members only calls, and they are thriving in the community.
All the courses and challenges are recorded and waiting for you in the Forums; when members ask a question in the Forums, responses are in NPC permanently, always available for you to get help from.

Also, I specifically planned NPC Summer Camp without any live components, so that you can enjoy participating regardless of your time zone or schedule.

NPC is fun, it’s supportive, it’s a way to connect with other parents and enjoy community…
All while becoming a better and happier parent.

Join now so that you can live IN this crazy summer… Click here to register for NPC and our Summer Camp program!

Cheers!
Karen

PS Click the link below for details and to join:

weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC

Hope to see you at NPC Summer Camp!

Practical ways to keep going

Happy Wednesday!

Today I want to share some ways that clients of mine are finding to live IN this difficult time, as a way to get through it.
These are members of my online private coaching practice, who are going through likely very similar things to what you’re going through – living with cranky or clingy kids, uncertainty about the future, and anxiety about everything from family life to our society .

As we get started I also want to remind you, NPC Summer Camp starts in just two days! I share more about the program below, and you can click here to join the Ninja Parenting Community.

1. Cranky or clingy kids, limited patience.
I am hearing from many people whose kids are extra cranky, or extra clingy, right now.

Continue reading “Practical ways to keep going”

336: Listener Q&A – Sibling jealousy and Adoption

“Would you have any recommendations for books or anything that might help with learning the best ways to integrate an older adopted child into a family, or good books on adoption and advice?”
“How to divide my attention between my 1 YO and my 4 YO… I try to give exclusive mummy daughter time but it’s never enough.”

These are the first two questions in our Q&A series… I hope they are helpful!

A Summer Camp program for you
Towards the end of the episode I mention NPC Summer Camp, a new program I’m offering to help parents of young children not just get through, but live IN, summer 2020. Opening Ceremonies are this coming Friday!

Spend your whole first month in my online coaching practice for parents (NPC) for FREE – exclusively for podcast listeners and folks in my email group – by clicking here (offer ends Wednesday, June 24, so enroll today!)

Then you’ll be all set for summer camp! We’ll have lots of fun, keeping each other company and taking control of our family’s direction in this, a summer like no other.

Camp activities are aimed at helping you enjoy family time even in this year’s difficult circumstances.
Join now, spend your whole first month in NPC for free. I can’t wait to see you in our community forums!

For the adoption and sibling jealousy links that come up today, click the following link:
weturnedoutokay.com/336

And hang in there. We will get through this together!
Continue reading “336: Listener Q&A – Sibling jealousy and Adoption”

A free gift to help you settle conflicts with your kids

Welcome to the latest edition of NPC Digest!

Hey Ninja Parents (and newsletter readers: )

Normally this Digest goes out only to current members of my online coaching practice, NPC.

I decided to share this email with everyone because it contains something super useful right now, as we continue to tread into the unknown.

Read on to find out what it is!

Settling Conflicts (NPC Training of the Week)

I’m using the weekly roundup of “what’s going on in our private online coaching practice” to share a training each week!

Today I’m sharing a tool, a PDF checklist – one tiny part of the resources in NPC – to help you in resolving conflicts with your kids.

Parents I work closely with have been very open about their concerns, as the virus surges in some parts of the country and nobody really knows how day cares or school will look, even though the new school year is just a few months away.

And yet, kids still experience big feelings.

They still have temper tantrums. They are still mean to each other, or disrespectful to us.

We need to be prepared for what’s coming, whether in our homes or in our communities, and this PDF checklist could be just the ticket next time one of your kids acts up! Continue reading “A free gift to help you settle conflicts with your kids”

The incredible value of a safe space.

Today I want to share a case study, and I’m giving you the happy ending right away:

“Thank you for making this such a safe place to fall apart and then get back up again feeling stronger.”

A mom in my private coaching practice for parents, the Ninja Parenting Community, wrote these words yesterday.

I took that as a huge compliment!
As parents, we work really hard to create a safe space for our children to have their (developmentally necessary) meltdowns.

When this mom shared her feelings that the Ninja Parenting Community is a “safe place to fall apart,” I really felt that trust!
For a member to describe the community in this way, made my heart sing.

Parents bring me their deepest worries and fears about their children, about the frightening situations that come up in their parenting, and about themselves as parents.

It’s exactly what we do in there! Give a safe place to ask questions, to be vulnerable, and ultimately so parents can learn how to handle what you’re going through.
So you can get back up feeling stronger.

Here’s how this mom began her post, a few days previous: Continue reading “The incredible value of a safe space.”

A prerequisite to getting good behavior from our kids

In my first year as a preschool teacher I worked with two four-year-old best friends, two little girls.

One was Black, and one was white.

One day I stood with them, waiting for their turns in the bathroom, as they held hands, smiling at each other, so happy to be each other’s best friend.

Then the white girl looked up at me and said:
“I don’t like Black people.”

I was shocked, dumbfounded.

I remember thinking, couldn’t this girl see that her best friend, the girl she’s currently holding hands with, is Black?

Clearly not.

In talking with my fellow teachers, they helped me understand that the white girl didn’t see her friend as “Black.” She simply saw her as her best friend.

So, where did this idea come from? Continue reading “A prerequisite to getting good behavior from our kids”

334: How to raise anti-racist kids

I love this portrait of father and son, taken by photographer Blake Nissen and published in the June 7, 2020 edition of the Boston Sunday Globe.

“It’s as if we are going through the 1918 flu pandemic AND the Great Depression AND the Civil Rights era, all at once.” That’s what James Arthur said on his podcast, Minority Korner, in (and about) Spring 2020.
I think he’s right.
To get through it all we are going to have to work together!
That’s the spirit in which I bring you this episode. In this conversation on racial justice between my friend Shane Sams, and his friend Talaat McNeely, Talaat shares that we each must “Make change within our sphere of influence.”
Well, my sphere of influence is in teaching parents like you how to get your family going in the direction you want.
Today I link that idea up with getting this nation going in the direction we want: one in which everyone is treated fairly, and where parents don’t have to worry about their children being harassed, assaulted, or murdered because of how they look.
I hope this episode, all about raising anti-racist kids, will help you make these crucial changes within your sphere of influence.

FYI: Free live training course on raising good, kind kids –
This week I’m doing not one but two live trainings, teaching on how a parent can change a child’s bad behavior to good… and one common mistake that well-meaning parents often make when trying to raise good, kind kids. (In other words, something that ups the bad behavior, when they’re trying to reduce it. It’s not a mistake you want to make.)
Click weturnedoutokay.com/kind to sign up for the live trainings, this coming Thursday, June 11 and Sunday, June 14!

Because of my white privilege, I have been able to insulate myself.
I’ve been able to not see some important truths that have been right in front of me.
I have remained ignorant, when I should have been seeking education.

This week one of my friends, a white man from Kentucky, had an amazing conversation with one of his friends, a Black man from Chicago. Talaat McNeely and Shane Sams spoke for an hour and 45 minutes, and I was astounded and ashamed at the stories Talaat told.
Things that have personally happened to him and his kids, just because of the color of their skin.

I was:
– astounded by the differences in our experiences, Talaat’s and mine, which only came about because he happens to be Black, and I happen to be white. No one should ever, EVER be treated the way Talaat and his family have been treated.

– ashamed because I let it happen.
The simple fact that it is happening means that I have not done enough to stop it.

Talaat shares five key steps that we can take to stop racism.
(I don’t remember to bring up the first and most important one until we’re almost at the very end of today’s episode, so all along you’ll hear me talk about four key steps… But that first one is most important. Talaat brings it up right at the beginning of his conversation with Shane. It’s something you hear me talk about on the show again and again, and I still can’t believe it took me until the last part of this episode to talk about it in connection with stopping racism.)

There are about a million links today, so for those and a description of the five key steps we can take to stop racism – to raise anti-racist kids – click the following link: weturnedoutokay.com/334.

We need each other now, more than ever.
If you are reading this and you’re a person who (as the Black Panthers used to say) is Black or oppressed, you have my empathy, and my pledge to become educated instead of remaining ignorant about what has happened to you, and the part I have played in your troubles.
If you’re a person of privilege, I hope that like me, you’re open to moving forward on the path from ignorance, to education. And from there to support.
We will get through this together <3 Continue reading “334: How to raise anti-racist kids”