What do you wish you knew when you were 22?

A young friend of mine recently graduated from college.

The family of the graduate has invited us all to sign a lovely book for her.

The question we’ve been asked to answer in the book is:
What do you wish you knew, when you were 22?

I’ve been thinking, and thinking… and finally I got an idea:

I’ll share not just my ideas – but invite yours as well!

(All you have to do is reply here , and let me know what you wish you knew when you were 22. I’ll copy and paste and print our collective wisdom for my friend : )

What do I wish I knew when I was 22?

I wish I knew that we could look for loopholes.

I used to take it as law, when an authority figure said “no.”
But now, I realize that’s not true!
A no can always become a yes. It depends on how much I’m willing to push for my yes.

For me, it’s also depended on the kind of support I get.
One example is from about a decade ago, when I first developed the tendon disorder that I still live with, and lost the ability to walk. Continue reading “What do you wish you knew when you were 22?”

367: Not creativity but…

So, as I’m doing this series on the values that I hold most dear, I’m playing a little game with myself. I’m imagining you, asking yourself “can I guess today’s value?”
All I can say is, if you guess creativity, you are wrong…
But not completely wrong.

Thank you so much for listening! I am glad you’re here <3
Karen

PS I have an invitation for you: if you haven’t already, get to know me a little better by signing up for my weekly newsletter.
It’s free, and I promise to hold your email address – and thus your heart – safely, in both my hands…
Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to sign up : )

This episode’s home-on-the-web: https://weturnedoutokay.com/367

The link to the first episode in this series (this is the second)… https://weturnedoutokay.com/366

Click here for the link to the TED talk that I reference today, called The Birth of a Word.
It is awesome and you’ve got to listen to it!

Listen to We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!

Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOApple

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Stitcher Podcasts… Http://bit.ly/WTOOStitcher

Then, friends, it’s a movement

This picture was taken on the day that my children learned that sometimes, there IS “a part of the wedding where they do karate”

In recent weeks I’ve had something of an epiphany, realizing that everything I’m about – seriously, everything – comes down to the value of play.

This epiphany came about at the same time as I realized: I am growing, and changing.

You may not know this about me, but I’m so much more than a parent coach.

Yes, I teach important concepts for parents, like how to handle every temper tantrum (click here for the video to do this – and here for the five step checklist that comes along with the video).
Just last night in my 2021 Year of Empowerment program, I coached a parent on how to handle backtalk from her five-year-old.

These two ideas – that everything I’m about comes down to play, and that I am growing and changing – have collided for me in the form of the creation of a movement.

A movement is a vision of change for the world.
A vision for the future.

My vision is of:
– A kind world, where creativity is encouraged.
– Where every person has meaningful choices about how they spend their time.
– Where every person feels validated, believed in.
– Where rather than pushing down our emotions or our problems, we work together to lift each other up and solve our problems.

The vehicle for this movement? Play. Play, play, play play play.

The title of this email comes from a song.  Continue reading “Then, friends, it’s a movement”

366: A world where you can be anything

I am excited to bring you into this, the first in a five-part series on really important subject – and a fun one too!
But I don’t want to say too much about it. I want you to listen, and see if what you hear resonates.
For this first part though, I do have one question:
What should you be, in a world where you can be anything?

Thank you so much for listening! I am glad you’re here <3
Karen

PS I have an invitation for you: if you haven’t already, get to know me a little better by signing up for my weekly newsletter.
It’s free, and I promise to hold your email address – and thus your heart – safely, in both my hands…
Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to sign up : )

This episode’s home-on-the-web: https://weturnedoutokay.com/366

Listen to We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!

Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOApple

Spotify… http://bit.ly/WTOOSpotify

Stitcher Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOStitcher

The S word

There is one word that I despise in the English language almost more than any other word.

I think of it as “the S word.”

The problem with this word is that the person who’s saying it feels good – and the person to whom it is being said often feels bad.

Attending a masterclass earlier in the pandemic, I learned of new scientific research on what lights up different areas of a person’s brain.

When we tell others what we think will be in their best interest, pleasure centers in our brain light up.

In other words when we are giving advice, that’s when the pleasure centers in our brain light up.

If that advice has been solicited – in other words, if the person on the receiving end of the advice has asked for it – the pleasure centers in their brain light up too.

But when someone gives unsolicited advice – advice that was not asked for – the pain centers in the recipient’s brain light up.

Perhaps you have had that experience of being given advice that you did not ask for. If you’d like, in this moment, call to mind a situation where that’s what happened.

The situation I’m thinking about: when someone close to me tried to give me advice on my skiing. I was going along, happily skiing, and thinking that all was right with the world when suddenly this person pulled up next to me and told me “You really should…”

Boom. Pain centers immediately came to life in my brain. Continue reading “The S word”

Sharing a wonderful gift recently given to me

Greetings! I am Karen Lock Kolp, Human Development Expert and Executive/Leadership/Play Coach.
I’m glad you are here!

And if you want to invite a loved one to receive these newsletters, please tell them what you like about it and why you are signed up… and then share this link: https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly

Thank you for making me a part of your journey!

Okay, here is today’s letter:

Happy Tuesday! (Yes, for anyone keeping track it’s a bit early this week – next week will be back to our usual “newsletter-on-Thursday” schedule : )

Going deep and getting vulnerable again this week, with an essay from the subscription-only resource I write and publish each month that teaches simple, powerful tools…

It’s called the We Turned Out Okay Playbook. June’s issue is all about intuition.

I begin each issue with an essay, and as June’s issue is all about intuition, I wanted to share something extra special in the essay.
Because for me, getting better at recognizing my intuition has been one of the cornerstones of wellness and happiness in my adult life.
So I want to share this with you.

I feel vulnerable because, in all honesty, this is a bit of a weird one.
I am about to share an outstanding exercise that I learned during a recent Coaching Intensive that I attended.
As you will read, the exercise invites us to listen to different parts of our bodies, and it can feel extremely peculiar!
But it’s one of the best exercises I’ve ever done for tuning into intuition, reducing anxiety, and feeling better.
For feeling good.

So without further ado, I am excited to bring you this essay!
Continue reading “Sharing a wonderful gift recently given to me”

365: “What DOES matter to me?” Talking with Shari Medini of Adore Them Parenting today!

“Is this something that I care about, or is this something that someone else thinks I should care about?” – Shari Medini
That’s what I almost called today’s episode (but used another excellent quote from today’s guest for brevity’s sake : )
If you want a conversation about handling all the stuff that is flying at you…
If you want to feel better about the choices that you have that maybe you didn’t even realize…
You will love this talk with Shari Medini, one half of the duo at Adore Them Parenting! Shari and her cofounder Karissa Tunis have written a great book, Parenting While Working from Home, and offer their help and support to parents from their website.
They brought me into their virtual summit this winter – you can hear the audio from my presentation at the end of today’s episode in fact, presenting on a subject that is near and dear to my heart!

I know you’re going to love our conversation!
Video of my conversation with Shari and my presentation for the Adore Them Summit: https://weturnedoutokay.com/365

Cheers! And thank you for listening!
Karen

PS I have an invitation for you: if you haven’t already, get to know me a little better by signing up for my weekly newsletter.

It’s free, and I promise to hold your email address – and thus your heart – in both my hands…
The newsletter is where I share my best essays, stories, and tools. Because it’s more personal, it’s even better than the podcast! Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to sign up : )

Listen to We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!

Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOApple

Spotify… http://bit.ly/WTOOSpotify

Stitcher Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOStitcher

Courage to the lion

Happy Thursday!
Settle in for a longer-than-usual newsletter. Part story, part analysis.
All from the heart.
I am feeling extremely vulnerable in this moment, sharing out this newsletter… All hugs are appreciated <3

Okay, deep breath.…

I have always been afraid. Ever since I can remember anyway.

For me, the fear started when I was sexually abused as a seven-year-old. That completely changed my worldview.

I had been, I am told, a pretty happy-go-lucky kid prior to that.

But my memory is of anxiety, worry, and a fear of being lost.
If we went outside of my ken while driving in the car, I would fearfully ask my mom “are we lost?”
She always told me “nope, we are on an adventure!”

But the anxiety was still there. I always wished I’d never have to leave home once we returned.

When I was about eight years old, I got separated from my mom and brothers at the grocery store.

I concluded that they had left me there… So I started walking home.
Continue reading “Courage to the lion”

What I’m really doing while I am knitting

For months I have been knitting a pair of socks. Last fall I wrote about my current sock dilemma (which you can read about here.)

In a nutshell the sock dilemma is this:
I can no longer get my favorite merino wool socks. Not only were they affordable, they were warm, they fit right, and they came in all sorts of lovely and fun colors and patterns.

So this winter I tried hard to conserve them. Instead of wearing them on a chilly day I found myself putting on my summertime ankle-high socks. And then I’d be cold and crotchety.

Here’s what I wrote about the sock situation last fall:

“I’m finding that I don’t want to wear the socks that I have, because I don’t want to wear them out.
So even on the coldest days I am putting on those summertime ankle-high socks, depriving myself of the warmth that the 80% merino wool, wonderful wintertime socks give.
Out of fear.” Continue reading “What I’m really doing while I am knitting”

364: “ADHD is kind of a superpower” with Janine Halloran, Mom, Best-selling Author, and LMHC

Greetings! Yes, on its surface this is a conversation (with 6-time returning champion Janine Halloran! So excited to bring her back to you!) about ADHD.

But it’s about so much more.
It’s about expectations, and how they create the roles our children inhabit.
It’s about us, the roles we inhabit, and how we got here.
It’s about what we can do that would be detrimental, or helpful – again, not just with the concerns of ADHD. But with so much more.
I’m excited to welcome you into this conversation, and I’m grateful that you are here!
Key links and video located at https://weturnedoutokay.com/364

Key Links

Click here for the video that I share in the intro, in which six photographers were told six different things about the same man – and as a result of their different expectations, they produce six completely different portraits of that man.

Click https://weturnedoutokay.com/191 for the conversation I share about in the intro, me talking with my 13-year-old son… He accuses me of being “Pollyanna-ish.” It’s a fascinating chat even if you don’t happen to be this boy’s mother!

Click https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to sign up for my weekly newsletters… Each is an invitation to go deeper with me. To get to know me better, to correspond, and to get support for your challenges. Completely free, just bring your open heart <3

Click http://copingskillsforkids.com to check out all of the useful and fun stuff that Janine is doing!

Click here for the amazing Rick Riordan book series about Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

Click here for an article about one of Dav Pilkey’s Captain Underpants books, which the author withdrew from publication recently.

Click here for the Angst movie.

Click https://weturnedoutokay.com/194 for my conversation with awesome author Joshilyn Jackson, a New York Times best-selling fiction author (who shares on my show that she didn’t feel empathy until she became a parent. A fascinating conversation!)

Click https://weturnedoutokay.com/324 for my conversation with Janine during OkayCon 2020, the video series I did to support parents during the pandemic… It was called “Why your child’s behavior may be worse now than usual, and what to do about it, with Janine Halloran, LMHC”

Click https://weturnedoutokay.com/300 to hear my roundtable conversation with Janine, today’s guest, and special-needs preschool teacher Tricia Tomaso. Two of my favorite humans on the whole planet, together in a fabulous roundtable discussion!

Click https://weturnedoutokay.com/361 for the first in this ADHD series, called “ADHD is not a result of parenting” – talking with pediatric occupational therapist Holly Peretz today!”

Click here to check out Janine’s courses for educators on developing patients’ and students’ coping skills. Very cool!

Listen to We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOApple

Spotify… http://bit.ly/WTOOSpotify

Stitcher Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOStitcher