My second-worst day of potty training ever

FYI: I am sharing my BEST, most successful potty training strategies in a Free Online Parenting Class on Thursday, January 30, 2020! Click here for details and to register for the class (and the replay, available for free through the following weekend.)
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What follows is the story of my 2nd-worst day of potty training ever… I’ll get back to that worst day towards the bottom of this newsletter.

Picture our little family, my husband, Ben, myself, and are seven and three-year-old boys, visiting breathtakingly beautiful parts of Oregon: The Cascades, Mount Hood, Trillium Lake.

In one day we got to hike around beautiful waterfalls, play in the snow at the top of Mount Hood, and fish in the pure, clear waters of Trillium Lake.

All with the whole of Ben’s family, which was completely amazing, because they are amazing people.

Until… Our three-year-old, Jay, wet his diaper. Since we had purchased supercheap, bottom-of-the-line diapers, for this visit so far from home, it went clear through his pants and all the way down into his socks.

THAT was while we checked out the Cascade waterfalls.

So far, so good. We had extra diapers and clothes.

But then it happened again, at Mount Hood.

And then AGAIN at Trillium Lake.

We were now 3 hours from “home,” Ben’s brother’s place near Portland, because we had hiked in around the lake, and at least two hours from anyplace that might sell diapers, or socks, or pants to replace the wet ones.

Continue reading “My second-worst day of potty training ever”

Boundaries with Grandparents | Podcast Episode 314

I love this picture so much! Here’s hoping this grandma is not of the selfish and controlling sort.

“My dad and stepmom are, simply put, selfish and controlling. They guilt me about not seeing my son more often, and usually want us to drive an hour out to their very not-kid-friendly house. How do I find a line of how often to see/talk to them that works for me and my kid?”
So writes one of our most beloved ninja parents, known in the Ninja Parenting Community forums as Mama Llama.
Maybe her feelings are familiar to you?
In this episode, I outline 5 ways for you to get control of your relationship with your folks (or your in-laws) – on your terms.
Join us!
Cheat sheet of the five ways, plus key links and other good stuff, are located at: weturnedoutokay.com/314

PS This subject is covered far more deeply in the community that I run, NPC.
During January 2020 you can spend your whole first month in the community for just $1! Click here for details.)

Parenting News that Matters as You Raise Your Kids

Each Wednesday I send out a Parenting Newsletter, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos.
I’ve written newsletters on everything from remaining calm when they are throwing dirt at each other, to last week’s, on handling hangry meltdowns and what that has to do with our own self-worth.
Useful stuff.
Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week!

Continue reading “Boundaries with Grandparents | Podcast Episode 314”

Hangry meltdowns and self-worth

The idea for this newsletter came directly from one mom’s post in the private coaching community that I run. Right now you can try out the community for $1 for your whole first month! Click here for details.
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It’s so easy to blame ourselves for our children’s meltdowns.

Especially if they are of the “hangry” variety.

After all, isn’t it our responsibility to make sure that they get fed when they are hungry?
… And, doesn’t being hungry lead to temper tantrums?
… And, who is supposed to be feeding these kids anyway?

We can be so judgmental of ourselves, and that is way worse than when others are judgmental of us.

I’m starting a newsletter series today on how, in practical terms, we can handle the basics of “kids gone sideways”…
When they are in a big meltdown.
When they have potty accidents.
When they’re disrespectful.

And step one is to know that it’s absolutely not our fault when hangry meltdowns occur!

(Or any kind of meltdown, for that matter.) Continue reading “Hangry meltdowns and self-worth”

The challenges of feeling worthy while raising little kids | Podcast Episode 313

My wellness coach is here for YOU today!

“Linda,” who’s going incognito for our conversation, shares about so much:
– Her own wellness journey
– What it was like for her to raise a child with special needs
– How to get what you want out of life

Hope you enjoy this conversation and find it helpful!

Here is the link to the show notes for this episode : )

PS One place where you can get help with your own challenges while raising little kids is the online community that I run, NPC.
During January 2020 you can spend your whole first month in the community for just $1! Click here for details.)

Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter

Each Wednesday I send out a Parenting Newsletter, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos.
I’ve written newsletters on everything from remaining calm when they are throwing dirt at each other, to what to do when you feel like a failure.
Useful stuff.
Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week!

Key Links

Click here for the VIA Character Institute website. Linda and I have used their Character Strength Tool and talk about it in today’s conversation.

Click here for the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group.

One Word for 2020

Happy Wednesday!

This is the last in my series on “exercises to help you overcome feelings of failure;” click here for last week’s installment, debating between two words for 2020. Or, read on to find out which word I chose : )
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Each year, for the last three years, I’ve chosen a Word of the Year:
2019 = THOUGHTFUL
2018 = PRACTICE
2017 = SERVICE

For weeks, I’ve been trying to decide what 2020’s word would be. Here are my two candidates:

2020 = ENOUGH

I thought of 3 possible ways it could be used. Here is what I wrote about that in last week’s newsletter: Continue reading “One Word for 2020”

How to get what you want out of life | Podcast Episode 312

Happy New Year!! In 2019 I had two goals:
1. To fit into my ski pants
2. To be in control of my food intake

If my ski pants fit, that meant I could go skiing and spend wonderful, exhilarating time with loved ones!
And if I could be in control of my food intake, that meant I wouldn’t inadvertently hijack other goals that I had about health and weight loss.
Today I share about how I met those goals, through a 5-step process that I hope will be helpful as you work to achieve your goals!

Links and other stuff I share in this episode are located at weturnedoutokay.com/312

Join us!

Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter

Each Wednesday I send out a Parenting Newsletter, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos.
We’re doing a series right now on what to do when you feel like a failure, and who among us hasn’t felt like that at some point?
Useful stuff.
Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week!


Cheat sheet of the 5 steps to get what you want out of life:

1. Declare yourself worthy.
This is a tough one! I do it with something that I call “mirror chats.”

2. Decide what you want.
This one feels deceptively easy, but sometimes it can take a while to figure out what we actually want.

3. Decide where you want to be with that goal… By a certain date.

4. Take one small step most days, or weeks.

5. Assess how it’s going once a week.
Also, as part of this, find something to celebrate each week.

My One Word is: ENOUGH
this was such a tough one, I had to choose between two words and the people in my email newsgroup were so helpful as I made my choice! If that was you, thank you so much!
Continue reading “How to get what you want out of life | Podcast Episode 312”

Only one of these two words

I’m doing a year-end series on how to overcome feeling like a failure; click here for last week’s installment, in which I share my Reverse Bucket List – and how it made me remember all the good in my life.
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Each year, for the last three years, I’ve chosen a Word of the Year:
2019 = THOUGHTFUL
2018 = PRACTICE
2017 = SERVICE

I’ve chosen them based on how I wanted to live my life… But they’ve ended up largely being about what I do, as opposed to who I am.
(Yes, even THOUGHTFUL – it’s been all about ways I can be thoughtful, as opposed to how I could be thinking.)

When I read Audrey Monke’s fabulous blog post, “5 Simple Year-End Reflection Activities” (this week’s exercise, and also last week’s, are based on Audrey’s year-end activities), I was excited to read that Audrey chooses a word of the year too!

Audrey’s words are different from mine – not a surprise, as Audrey and I are different people.

But they are fundamentally different in an important way: Audrey’s words are not about what she does.
They are about who she is.

In her version of the exercise, as Audrey puts it, “your one word isn’t a constant reminder of what you “should be doing”. Instead, it stands to inspire how you want to live. Think about who you want to be, and choose a word that will help you become that.”

Her rules:
“Focus on being rather than doing.
Be authentic.
Don’t overthink it.”

As I went through this exercise, one word bubbled up to the surface immediately.
Continue reading “Only one of these two words”

Controlling behavior, consequences, and connection with your young child | Podcast Episode 311

Continuing in this end-of-year “big idea” line of thinking, one of our beloved Ninja Parenting Community members recently asked a huge, and great question:

“How can I relax and enjoy our relationship more and not feel like I’m always on the edge of discipline mode or like I should have handled things differently [with my 3-year-old]?”

Effectively she’s asking: do I have to control my young child’s behavior all the time, or is there anything else besides that?

Today’s episode is my response.

Video, the notes I posted in NPC, and links to everything we talk about are located at weturnedoutokay.com/311

Join us!

Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter

Each Wednesday I send out a Parenting Newsletter, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos.
We’re doing a series right now on what to do when you feel like a failure, and who among us hasn’t felt like that at some point?
Useful stuff.
Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week!

Continue reading “Controlling behavior, consequences, and connection with your young child | Podcast Episode 311”

An exercise in gratitude

I’m doing a year-end series on how to overcome feeling like a failure; click here for last week’s installment, in which I share 4 ways to overcome those feelings of failure.
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A few newsletters ago, I shared my own feelings of failure, professionally, personally, and in my family life.

I shared one thing that was making me feel so much better: bringing my feelings to a very positive and wonderful group of friends.

And I shared about how they made me feel SO much better.

One of those friends is Audrey Monke. Not only did she share words that made me feel so loved and supported, she shared a blog post she had recently written containing some positive and fun year-and family things to do.

Audrey discusses an exercise that has to do with gratitude, which dovetails nicely with one of the four ways I shared last week in this space, on overcoming feeling like a failure:

Name five things you are grateful for.
Whenever I’m feeling down, this is my go-to.
I do have so much to be grateful for!

“What better time than December to reflect on things that make us feel happy and end the year feeling positive and grateful?” – Audrey Monke Continue reading “An exercise in gratitude”

When your little asks HUGE questions | Podcast Episode 310

“He asked me tonight who God was…”
When Ninja Parenting Community member Mama Llama shared about this conversation with her three-year-old, I knew you were going to want to hear about it too.

This is a short-and-sweet episode (and it’s topsy-turvy, with the other stuff coming after the main part of the show, rather than before.)

But don’t be fooled by its brevity. We talk about something big! So big, maybe it can only be glimpsed at by us. I am excited to share, somewhat different, episode with you.

Plus in Parenting News:
I read from a recent Miss Conduct column on in-laws, and parents, and boundaries – and how you can feel good about yours.
(Ninja parents: click here for the live, members-only call which comes up in today’s Parenting News! If you’re not yet a member, but you would like to become one, click here.)

PS If this is a holiday celebration time of year for you, I hope it’s wonderful!

Join us!

Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter

Each Wednesday I send out a Parenting Newsletter, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos.
We’re doing a series right now on what to do when you feel like a failure, and who among us hasn’t felt like that at some point?
Useful stuff.
Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week!

Today’s episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, who has created a great resource to help your child handle it when the going gets tough!
Listen to today’s show to find out how to get 15% off your order, and then
Click copingskillsforkids.com/okay to check out Janine’s Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks.

Link to this post: weturnedoutokay.com/310

Continue reading “When your little asks HUGE questions | Podcast Episode 310”