357: What does your heart long for?

Greetings! In today’s episode we examine the process of getting what our heart longs for, in a coaching conversation with one of my 1-to-1 coaching clients!
As you’ll hear, Regan is a mom and an attorney, currently (along with her husband) working from home while their children are home as well, in in virtual/hybrid school.
Regan gets courageous and vulnerable with us today. She shares the dream of her heart for her kids… and what she’s doing each and every day to help make that dream come true.
In our conversation you’ll learn:
– How to get your heart’s desire
– The importance of big dreams and tiny action steps
– Making both your superpower AND the dark side of that superpower work for you in achieving your dreams

Lately I’ve been asking coaching clients “what makes my coaching magical?” (You’ll hear Regan and I talk about this in this episode.)
The answers I’m getting back are fascinating – it turns out that something I’m really good at is helping parents stop treading the conventional path and do what works for THEM, and their family.
We all have dreams. What are you doing to make yours reality?
If you’re ready to go on the adventure of your life with me as your guide, write me, and let’s talk!

Plus… This is a digest episode, so in addition to our conversation I’m bringing you a story that I recently sent to the folks in my free email newsgroup! Click this link to get weekly letters like this delivered right to your inbox: weturnedoutokay.com/weekly

I share about the “Parents Working from Home” free virtual summit that I’m honored to be included in (happening this coming Saturday 2/27, 10 AM to 1 PM EST).

And, I give you an update on a new segment of this podcast: it’s called Triumphs and Misdemeanors, and I hope you will be a part of it!
Join us!
Continue reading “357: What does your heart long for?”

Helping kids love themselves and their bodies

A favorite band of mine, The Samples, has a song called Could It Be Another Change in which they sing:

You can’t love no one…
You can’t love something…
You can’t love nothin…
You can’t love anything
Till you can love yourself…
You can love yourself.

This has been on my mind a lot recently. I’ve been thinking about the messages we give our loved ones based on how we feel about ourselves.

I think in part it’s been on my mind so much because recently I was invited to be an expert speaker in a conference, Kids’ Healthy Bodies, hosted by Sarah Scheldt, M.Ed. (The series begins February 15 and will run for 14 days; click here to get your free ticket!)

My friend Sarah has pulled together a list of impressive speakers to share real-life strategies on how you can have empowered conversations with your kids around their bodies, health, and so much more! Continue reading “Helping kids love themselves and their bodies”

356: The consequences of pushing ourselves too far – Talking with educator Sarah Scheldt M.Ed. today!

Due to the content of our conversation, today’s episode is going to be a good one to listen AWAY from sensitive ears… I think you’re going to love today’s conversation, I know I did! But some topics may be a little intense for, well, littles.

Greetings! I am super excited to bring today’s guest to you, educator and parent coach Sarah Scheldt, M.Ed.!
In today’s conversation I’ll introduce you to Sarah, so you can come to know her and the incredibly helpful, giving person she is.

Today Sarah discusses:
– How to handle your kids’ toughest days and biggest feelings
– How to take care of yourself in the midst of everything going on in your life
– Handling when we do push ourselves too far

Early on in the pandemic Sarah wanted to reach parents outside of her classroom of kids. So she created an amazing free Virtual Summit on “empowering kids.” I felt so honored to be included in the expert speakers for that summit!
Sarah’s second free online series, Kids’ Healthy Bodies, starts on February 15!
(Yay! Click here to sign up!)

In our conversation today Sarah shares on how this upcoming free Virtual Summit will help you get a handle on talking to kids about potentially tough topics like their own bodies, sex, consent, and stopping child sexual abuse.

I’m honored to be a part of this series as well, talking about what to do if you have been the victim of sexual abuse… and you are now raising kids. Continue reading “356: The consequences of pushing ourselves too far – Talking with educator Sarah Scheldt M.Ed. today!”

What my Italian relatives know about the off-season

This is me in Venice, Italy, circa April 1992 : )

Go ahead and settle in for a story…

I’ve been sharing these letters with you based on what is in my heart. I try to make them helpful, give you an idea to help you keep going, and I hope this one will accomplish that.

Today’s is something of a story, a different way for me to share an idea to help you keep going.

It’s also the chance for me to bring you into my life back before I had kids.
Before I even knew my husband Ben.
Back when I was a daughter, but not yet a mother.

Way, way back then, I had the opportunity to go and spend a semester in Florence, Italy.
I knew not one single word of Italian, but still I was looking forward to this new adventure!

The Italian relatives in my family are on my mother’s side. They include my grandfather, my mom’s dad, who was born and grew up as a child in a tiny little town in Italy, right along the Adriatic Sea.

Just before I left my grandfather said to me “If you can, go to Rodi and meet your relatives.”

I wasn’t sure. I couldn’t even speak Italian yet! What would it be like to manage the trains, and get all the way out to the countryside, to this tiny fishing village?

But I held onto my hope that I would be able to do it.

A friend of mine spoke outstanding Italian, and agreed to come with me a few months later (when I got more comfortable with the ways of the country, figured out the trains, and had some idea of how to converse with people.)

And so we set off. We didn’t try to contact anyone beforehand, we had no idea how we were going to get in touch with my relatives. It was early March 1992, there was no cell phone service or social media yet to help us get a sense of the lay of the land, never mind the actual people who lived there!

It felt like a true adventure! Continue reading “What my Italian relatives know about the off-season”

Nothing but flowers

I’ve had an old Talking Heads song in my head for the last little while.

It’s called (Nothing but) Flowers, and it is truly speaking to my pandemic experience right now.

It’s not a perfect correlation. But this song tells of a future in which everything’s changed.
“This was a Pizza Hut
Now it’s all covered with daisies…

I miss the honky tonks,
Dairy Queens, and 7-Elevens…”

The song doesn’t tell us why the Pizza Hut is all covered with daisies, or where the Dairy Queens and 7-Elevens went.
It seems as if the singer doesn’t really know himself:

“And as things fell apart
Nobody paid much attention…”

But he’s missing things that used to be so common and now are just gone:

Continue reading “Nothing but flowers”

355: Five ways to help you keep going right now

Greetings! Today I’ve got five ways that parents I work closely with are keeping going…

Because even though we can see some hope on the horizon, circumstances on the ground are, shall we say, not ideal.

So if you need a little help getting good behavior from your kids, feeling seen and heard and cared for in your life, or feeling happy inside, here are five ways you may not have considered yet to accomplish those tasks.…

Plus the Parenting News Segment returns today, with reports on how to not use social-emotional learning for evil, and also something called “toxic positivity.”
Join us!
Here are the links that come up today: Continue reading “355: Five ways to help you keep going right now”

Setting an intention for the new year

I think best when I do not feel cluttered.

(Not that I have a super clean house or anything! When children share the chores, I believe it’s best to set expectations a little lower. We make sure the house is tidy and sanitized, and that’s good enough for us.)

I simply notice that when there are fewer books on the shelf, clothes in the closet, or mustard types in the refrigerator, it’s easier for me to make choices about what I’ll read, wear, or eat.

In this is a time of year when we can look around, take stock, and decide to make some changes.

It’s also a time when we can feel overwhelmed, very easily.
By our own expectations or someone else’s judgment of something we care about.

Only recently have I realized: I’ve been judging myself on several different kinds of clutter. Continue reading “Setting an intention for the new year”

354: Goals and Words and a “kind 2021”

Greetings and best wishes for 2021!! This is my annual goals and sharing of the Word of the Year. (Last year’s: ENOUGH. I apparently was really prescient in January 2020… This year’s: EXHILARATED. Should be fun!)
As with everything in the pandemic, it’s different from other New Year’s episodes that have come before. But I hope it’s helpful for you as you create a good life, and a good year, for your family and yourself.

Some of my goals last year I completely, epically failed at bringing about.
Some of them I did a little bit better with.

One of the most important things I learned was to make a goal be “a place to come from,” rather than something to work towards. Seriously, this has been a huge game-changer for me.

I share about that process and give you ideas for trying it out yourself today.

Finally I read you one of my most recent newsletters, “Hello 2021! Please be kind to us.”
You can get these newsletters delivered for free right into your inbox just by signing up for one of my free guides available at weturnedoutokay.com… Or go to weturnedoutokay.com/weekly

Key Links:
Click weturnedoutokay.com/312 for last year, January 2020’s Goals and One Word episode. Listening back I was such a pre-pandemic naïve little baby then! I’ve grown a lot in 2020. I bet you have too. Ultimately this is a good thing, I think. We are such badasses now!

Click here for a book I am loving, 100 Truths You Will Learn Too Late by Luca Dellanna

Click weturnedoutokay.com/books to see the parenting books I have written

Click here for my most recent newsletter, “Hello 2021! Please be kind to us.”

Click weturnedoutokay.com/354 to watch the video of today’s episode.

Cheers! I hope 2021 is REALLY kind to you <3


Get my best advice for handling the challenges that come up on your parenting journey, through the We Turned Out Okay podcast:

Listen in your favorite podcatcher!
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Hello 2021! Please be kind to us.

On Tuesday of last week – in other words, the day before the attempted coup on our federal legislature and national election process – I drove around my town to do a few errands.

It was a new year; I had a bunch of books on knitting socks that had just arrived for me at the library; I had the bandwidth and hand strength to knit something as ambitious as a pair of socks.

I had lots of hope for the future.

Driving to our library, I passed the senior center in my town and saw the following words on their sign:
“Hello 2021! Please be kind to us.”

I smiled and drove on, with hope in my heart.

The town I live in has done an absolutely wonderful job in helping its citizens through the pandemic. Continue reading “Hello 2021! Please be kind to us.”

353.5: What your child needs from you today

Hi friends! This is a bonus episode that I recorded to help you in the wake of January 6, 2021’s storming of the United States Capitol Building by domestic terrorists, or (as you’ll hear in today’s episode) people that featured WTOO guest and NYT best-selling author Joshilyn Jackson calls “known jackasses.”
I want to give you some resources to help you remain calm – because that is what your kiddo needs from you today.
I am more grateful than I can say that you are listening, I can almost feel us holding hands and standing together today…
I will have links posted (at weturnedoutokay.com/353-5) ASAP, but for now I just want you to be able to hear my words and know that you can remain calm, for your child and for yourself. No matter what is going on in your world, or in the wider world.
And I am here with you.
xoxo, Karen

Links… Thank you for your patience! Here they are finally : )

My conversation with former assistant secretary of Homeland security Juliette Kayyem: https://weturnedoutokay.com/110

My conversation with licensed mental health counselor and coping skills expert – and also one of my favorite people in the whole world – Janine Halloran on managing the biggest feelings: https://weturnedoutokay.com/201

My conversation with Dr. Laura Markham, all around feelings and (childhood and grown up emotions)… https://weturnedoutokay.com/255

My conversation with NYT best-selling author Joshilyn Jackson, who wrote one of my favorite books of all time, The Almost Sisters, and comes on the show to talk about empathy, the hope that writing can bring to even the darkest places, and so much else: https://weturnedoutokay.com/194

My conversation with Ingrid Alli and Hamilton Graziano, the biracial couple who were having their honeymoon in Puerto Rico, staying in the same B&B Ben and I were staying in for our second honeymoon. Ingrid and Hamilton shared so much of themselves in this conversation, more than three years ago now, and it really helped me understand how to be good ally in dismantling racism: https://weturnedoutokay.com/176

Lessons I learned and resources shared during the amazing Julie Lythcott-Haims’ post-election Office Hours… Julie has also written one of my favorite books ever, Real American, about her experience growing up biracial in affluent white American society, and the energy she brings to help solve the challenges we face here in the US keeps me going! https://weturnedoutokay.com/julie

The Veterans Administration has a wonderful mindfulness app, called Mindfulness Coach, which you do not need to sign up for or enroll in. You just put it on your phone and have access to all the resources there. It’s awesome. https://mobile.va.gov/app/mindfulness-coach

If you’d like to get tools and resources to help you raise kids and stay sane: https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly

Thanks for reading!