Socks and medicine and fear and love

This image has nothing to do with today’s post, but I wanted it here to remind me of who I am coming from love for (if that makes any sense.) It’s these kids that we love. That’s who we need to remember, if we’re struggling to come from love for ourselves.

As the weather has begun changing here in New England, it’s time to transfer out of my summertime ankle-high socks and into something that keeps my legs considerably warmer.

I know that I’m making a good transition from season to season when I can feel enthusiastic about the socks I’m going into, even as I miss the socks I’m coming out of.

For years I’ve gotten these great wool socks from (of all places) Ocean State Job Lot. These socks are heaven on my feet, they are more than 80% merino wool, they stay warm when they get wet, and they just feel so good to wear. Bonus, they are like eight dollars for two pair – similar socks in Amazon are four times that.

So, an amazing deal all around!

For me, autumn is a time of celebration, where we are headed into the part of the year that feels best to me. I’m in survival mode spring and summer, just not a warm weather person.

So I do really celebrate when it’s time to put on these awesome socks!

Stay with me, I’ll come back to the socks in a moment…

As the pandemic has progressed I’ve noticed I’m getting more and more migraines.

I’ve always been prone to migraines but in the last three or four months I have experienced more of these debilitating headaches than I have for the past 13 years.

(Not coincidentally, 13 years ago is when I took control of my oldest’s education. He had been experiencing night terrors, weight loss, and other scary symptoms because the academic pressure of first grade was making him sick. As he got better, so did my migraines. As I say, not a coincidence.)

As I write about the last time I was having many migraines, I see a lot of similarities between now and then… In the pandemic so much is out of my control. So much feels out of control in any case!

No wonder I’m getting these headaches.

Fortunately, there is medicine that really helps.

The one catch with the medicine is that it works best when I take it at the very first onset of symptoms. Continue reading “Socks and medicine and fear and love”

347 Part 2: A parent’s guide to the dangers of “using history to fit our narrative”

With all the talk recently about something called “patriotic learning,” I wanted to bring you an episode to help you understand how education can become a political football, what that really means for your child, and what you can do about it.
So I called on my friend, historian Gary Gregory. Gary runs a tour company, Lessons on Liberty, bringing folks into the history of the Revolutionary War.
He also runs The Printing Office of Edes and Gill, where he uses the technology of the 1700s to create real documents from that time period, and to bring people into that time period.
Gary knows a lot about history, both real and revisionist, and brings us his wisdom today!
Hope you enjoy this episode!

There are about a million links, and you can find all of them here:
weturnedoutokay.com/347-part-2

Cheers! Continue reading “347 Part 2: A parent’s guide to the dangers of “using history to fit our narrative””

347 Part 1: Five ways societies fail… or succeed


Greetings! If this feels like a pretty ambitiously named episode, well, that’s because this is where we are in fall 2020.
We are on the bleeding edge of crisis parenting, and there is a feeling in the air of “this is where our society fails or succeeds.”
(At least that’s how it feels to me! You are very welcome to disagree. Either way, I hope this episode gives you a roadmap to success on your parenting journey, and some hope.)

Whether a society succeeds or fails is in large part dependent upon the how that society raises its children.

In this episode I offer five ways to think about this idea: Continue reading “347 Part 1: Five ways societies fail… or succeed”

A reformed non-fan of poetry shares how poetry can be a force for good

Hi Friends!

The links worth clicking are sprinkled all throughout today’s letter… And I guess in a way so is the poetry : )

Just quickly, I’m excited to share that I am in not one but two positive, important, and exciting virtual summits!

Click here for the Reigniting Toddler Play Summit, taking place 9/28-10/2/20, where I am talking about “how to keep going while raising little kids”

Click here for the Emergency Home Learning Summit, where I am talking about “how kids’ independent play makes family life better”

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Over the summer I heard, and took, an outstanding piece of advice from podcaster and creative coach Mark McGuinness: “Read some poetry.”

Mark is himself a poet, and it’s clear that poetry has been a huge force for good in his life.

But other than music, which is really poetry at its heart, I’ve never connected with poetry before.

And here at home I’ve had a book that was given to me more than five years ago, The Names of Birds, by Daniel Wolff.
(He was one of my first guests on the We Turned Out Okay Podcast, and our conversation does get a bit into poetry! We also talk a lot about education, history, and what it all means for your family. Click here to listen.) Continue reading “A reformed non-fan of poetry shares how poetry can be a force for good”

346: A Key Mindset Tool for Crisis Parenting

If there was ever a time to call what we are all doing “crisis parenting,” now is it.
In this episode, I bring you a critical tool to help you keep going!

I also share about why I called this show “We Turned Out Okay, The Modern Parent’s Guide to Old-School Parenting.”
A mom in the WTOO Facebook group asked that question, and this Basics Bootcamp episode seemed like the perfect time to talk about that!

Also today, I have three things to invite you into!
In chronological order: Continue reading “346: A Key Mindset Tool for Crisis Parenting”

345.5: September School Successes!

Hi Friends! Today I’m talking about some successes we’ve seen both with a coaching client, and here at home : )

Aaaaand… the WTOO Book Club starts up September 16, this coming Wednesday (if you’re seeing this in real time)!

<————– Current WTOO Book Club Book!

I’m sharing the book we will be discussing, and how to join!
(Which is: Go to weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC to get our Book Club meetings for free – as part of your first 30 days Free – in the Ninja Parenting Community, which is where the WTOO Book Club now lives : )

I am SUPER excited to spend some quality time together, talk about what’s really on your mind right now as a parent, and learn along with you.

Cheers!
Karen

Karen Lock Kolp M.Ed.
Child Development Expert, Parent Coach

Host of the We Turned Out Okay Podcast, helping parents of young children change kids’ behavior from bad to good; feel happy inside; and truly enjoy family time
weturnedoutokay.com/

Publisher of the monthly We Turned Out Okay Playbook, teaching simple, powerful tools to help parents feel in control of family life, and happy inside
weturnedoutokay.com/playbook/

Author of 3 parenting books including Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, written to help parents “keep calm and handle every temper tantrum”
weturnedoutokay.com/books/

The quote I live by: “The opposite of play is not work. It is depression.” – Brian Sutton-Smith

345: How to feel in control with Mom, Author, and School Counselor Phyllis Fagell, LCPC

 

I’m so excited to bring you today’s guest, Phyllis Fagell, LCPC, mom, school counselor, and author of the wonderful book Middle School Matters.

Phyllis helps us (yes – I include myself in here : )
– Pick our battles
– Talk with teachers and caregivers
– Figure out what we CAN do

In short Phyllis helps us feel in control of our family’s direction right now.
That’s SO important, given this extremely shaky start to the school year and our worries about the pandemic, downright silly politics, and the need for racial and social justice.
Not to mention our own need to pour from a full cup and not an empty one.

Given all that, I know you are going to LOVE our conversation!
You can find Phyllis, and all the wonderful work she does, by going to PhyllisFagell.com <3

Links that come up in today’s episode:

Because we’ve gone to and every-other-week schedule, in each episode I offer a back episode of We Turned Out Okay, something you can listen to in our off week!

Today, I bring you my first conversation with Raeshal Solomon, from episode 215. Raeshal single-handedly got herself out from under a mountain of debt, while living with a serious chronic illness. She’s a money expert, but more than that she is an expert in keeping going! I know you are going to love this conversation.
(Raeshal was also a part of OkayCon 2020, my Free Virtual Summit from this past March, right at the beginning of the pandemic. Click weturnedoutokay.com/328 for Raeshal’s wonderful contribution to OkayCon 2020.)

I’m excited to share, I will be part of the Reignite Toddler Play global virtual summit coming up at the end of this month! I don’t have the link yet, but as soon as I do I will drop it in here. Holly Peretz, the creator of the Virtual Summit interviewed me this past week and I just know you’re going to love this conference!

I’m spending September offering you HOPE…
– Click here to watch the first module of my premium “How to Keep Going” course, absolutely free, right there on the page.

– On that page you can also sign up to get the ENTIRE “How to Keep Going course, completely free! (You can also do that by clicking here.)

– “A life raft for families who are struggling to stay afloat.” That’s what Janine Halloran, LMHC, author of Coping Skills for Kids and Coping Skills for Teens recently said about my We Turned Out Okay Playbook. That is high praise indeed! Check out the Playbook for yourself by going to weturnedoutokay.com/playbook. You can subscribe for the October issue on that page, too!

In this post, called “A case study about handling epic tantrums,” I share the tools and strategies that a mom in our Ninja Parenting Community successfully employed to stop her four-year-old’s extremely epic tantrums.
If she can do it, so can you! Click here to learn how you can work with me, for free, for a whole month.

– Bruce Feiler’s wonderful book, Life is in the Transitions, comes up in our conversation today.

Click here to say hi in Instagram!… In Twitter… On the WTOO Facebook page… Or in the WTOO Facebook Group!

A case study about handling epic tantrums

I was so thrilled when I received the following testimonial:

“The Ninja Parenting Community is one of the best uses of my energy and time.”

A longtime NPC member, who I will call “Shannon,” shared this testimonial with me. I was touched and honored!
But I had to give that complement right back to her.
After all, she is the one committing the energy and the time.

Probably just like you, Shannon – Mom to a four-year-old – has too much on her plate, a spirited child who can sometimes overwhelm her, and a lot on her mind these days.

Here is a recent post of hers:
“We keep running into him making an unsafe choice and then refusing to leave that room/leave that thing alone which means I have haul him hitting and kicking and hitting and screaming away from it and generally lock a door to keep him from getting back into that room/accessing that item or he keeps charging right back into the unsafe situation or charging at and attacking me if I blocking him from the item/situation. It’s so hard!”
Continue reading “A case study about handling epic tantrums”

Never doubt your work or your worth

Hi Friends,

This is the latest – and final – installment in my summer-long series, taking you on my journey of recovering from overwhelm and burnout and learning ways to sustainably keep going. Click here for the first installment, “Feeling guilty,” and click here for the most recent in the series, “One thing I cannot live without.”
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First of all, how are you today?
I hope you are hanging in there!

I’ve spent the summer thinking deeply on the work that I do.

All during this season, I’ve written to you on what’s helping me overcome guilt, burnout, and exhaustion.
(The short answer:
– Slowing way, way down
– Determining what is in my control and what isn’t
– Working to be kind and not judgmental
– Incorporating seemingly frivolous things, such as light fiction, music, and laughter)

I want to wrap this series up today by sharing the fundamental lesson that I’ve learned, during this season of exploration.

It started with a feeling of unworthiness.
A feeling that how I show up for my family, my kids, how I show up for you?
It’s wrong, all wrong.

That’s how I felt earlier on in this season. Continue reading “Never doubt your work or your worth”

344: The Secret Fears of a Child Development Expert

Welcome to this second installation of Basics Bootcamp!
I tell some truths today that we need to hear and recognize, if we are going to raise a happy family and feel good inside ourselves.

Just like the title says, I do dive into my biggest and deepest fears about the pressures put on you, as you raise your kids.

I say things today that scare the bejabbers out of me!
But I know they need to be said.
As a child development expert, I’m the one who has to say them.

I also share something positive: my biggest hope.
It’s a buckwild episode for buckwild times… Let’s dive in!

PS lots of links today!
Get your whole first month in the Ninja Parenting Community, my online private coaching practice, for FREE by going to:
weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC

We’ve moved to an every-other-week format, and each episode I am highlighting a great episode from the past!
Today, I offer my conversation with Jonathan Fields, founder of The Good Life Project from December 2016. It’s maybe even more relevant today than when we originally recorded.
weturnedoutokay.com/125

Continue reading “344: The Secret Fears of a Child Development Expert”