I graduated yesterday

Yesterday my therapist retired.

We had worked together for seven years. It was a sad day for sure. (For him, as much as any of us patients… He is spending this week saying goodbye to people he loves. As excited as he is to move into post-therapy life, it was a hard day for him, too.)

As I prepared for our last session together – by making biscotti, and writing my therapist a heartfelt letter of thanks – I realized how far I’ve come in seven years.

In spring and summer 2014 I was at my lowest ebb.

I was in tremendous pain; I had almost no use of my hands due to the tendon disorder that I still live with today.

I had multiple symptoms of anxiety, everything from full out anxiety attacks, to pain and tingles all over my body.
I did not know what was causing them, and I had no idea how to recover.

I was as close to suicidal as I’ve ever been. I felt like such a burden to my husband Ben, and our two sons, who were then 13 and nine years old.

And then I met my therapist (whom I think of as “Dr. G.”)
When my primary care doctor recommended I contact Dr. G, I felt some trepidation. I had had some pretty bad therapists over the course of my life by that point! Trying the therapist-patient relationship once more felt truly scary. But I knew I needed something. I knew I needed help. Continue reading “I graduated yesterday”

363: “ I wasn’t bad inside. But bad kids rarely are.” Talking with WAPO Parent Columnist Meghan Leahey

Greetings! THERE ARE SWEARS TODAY…
So be sure to listen away from sensitive ears : )

My guest, Washington Post Parent Columnist Meghan Leahey, recorded this conversation with me back in February… and it feels even more relevant now, than when we recorded.

This episode will help you:
– Put important stuff in perspective
– Lay to rest a childhood demon or two
– Appreciate the absurdity inherent in our lives right now

Watch our conversation by going to https://weturnedoutokay.com/363
Key links just below.
Cheers! And thank you so much for listening!

Key Links
Connect with Meghan – and get her book, Parenting Outside the Lines! – at MLparentcoach.com

Today, the Parent Encouragement Program comes up because Meghan use to be part of that program! Check it out at https://pepparent.org/

My conversation with Katherine Reynolds Lewis (another Parent Encouragement Program alum) comes up today… Listen by going to https://weturnedoutokay.com/351

The We Turned Out Okay Playbook, my subscription-only, quality monthly playbook for parents, has gone digital! You can now get this essential tool for parental well-being either in your physical snail mailbox, or digitally!
Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/playbook for details, and to subscribe.
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Listen to this conversation as well as the 360-plus-episode back catalog of We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

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Is it okay to put down the fear we have all been carrying for so long?

The question “what’s next” has come up frequently for me recently. (So much so that I did a whole podcast episode about it : )

I’ve been thinking a lot on how easy it is to worry, when we think about what’s next. There’s a lot that we don’t know!
Is it okay to send kids to summer camp this year?
Is it okay to hug people that we love, but who don’t happen to be part of our household?
Is it okay to put down the fear we have all been carrying for so, so long?

I’ve done some deep thinking, and deep inner work on the idea of “what’s next.”
I put on my thinking cap!
Today I want to share with you the result: 3 tenets that I am utilizing this spring to stay on the positive side of “what’s next.”

Three objectives, three throughlines, three ways I am thinking about how to be in the world.

Here they are: Continue reading “Is it okay to put down the fear we have all been carrying for so long?”

362: What’s next?

What’s next? For many, that feels like the question of the moment.

As I recorded this episode, there were some hopeful notes in the air, but also some serious uncertainty.

A little more than a year ago everyone’s lives were completely disrupted, and the stress and worry and fear that we’ve lived with for so long feels impenetrable.
What’s next? This may be a frightening question. But it’s also an exhilarating one, when looked at in a certain light.

If any or all of that is on your mind, I hope my conversation with author and community-builder Gail Clanton is helpful for you. Gail brings wonderful energy and ideas to your ears today!

You will learn:
– how to tap into your own creativity
– how to foster community, even with the way that we have been living since early 2020
– 3 ways to share your stories

It’s a fantastic conversation, and I’m so grateful to Gail for coming on the show!

You can watch the video of our conversation by going to https://weturnedoutokay.com/362

Key Links just below.
Thanks for reading! Cheers!

Key Links

Gail has just published a beautiful memoir, Sparkle in the Rain; click here to see!

Her anthology Living in the Key of Joy comes out next month – click here to check it out : )

The Parenting in Place Masterclass comes up in our conversation; this masterclass has been a lifesaver for me and many others over the past year. Click this link to check it out: http://parentinginplacemasterclass.com

A couple writing resources that come up in our conversation today:
temi.com
KDP

In the preshow I share about two recent episodes that have helped me figure out “what’s next”…
My conversation with Julie Lythcott-Haimes in episode 360 of the podcast
My conversation with coaching client Kate about pandemic survivor’s guilt and so much more, episode 360.5 of the podcast

The We Turned Out Okay Playbook, my subscription-only, quality monthly playbook for parents, is going digital! You can now get this essential tool for parental well-being either in your physical snail mailbox, or digitally, if you’d rather enjoy a digital, than physical, copy!
Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/playbook for details, and to subscribe.
 

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Listen to this conversation as well as the 360-plus-episode back catalog of We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts

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361: “ADHD is not a result of parenting” – talking with pediatric occupational therapist Holly Peretz today!

Greetings! Welcome to this first installment in my series on ADHD <3
Scroll down for video of my conversation with Holly (who shares incredible insights into ADD, ADHD, and constructive ways to think about these neurodiversities) as well as lots of links. I’m glad you’re here!

Listen to this conversation as well as the 360-plus-episode back catalog of We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

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I am honored and thrilled to bring you this conversation with pediatric occupational therapist – and mom of toddlers – Holly Peretz!
As you’ll hear in our conversation, Holly knows lots about the challenges of raising young children.
In fact she’s built an entire virtual summit around addressing these challenges, and thriving (both you, and your kids thriving, I mean.)

Click here to sign up for Holly’s upcoming, amazing Toddler Play Conference – I am a speaker once again and so excited to be a part of this conference!

In today’s conversation, Holly shares her knowledge of ADD and ADHD. Specifically we discuss how to know if your child has one of these neurodiversities, what to do around this whole subject that is helpful, and what to avoid doing.

Key links below – hope you enjoy this episode of We Turned Out Okay!

Key Links

Click here to register for the Toddler Play Conference, which begins Thursday 4/22/21! You can watch all the presentations for free in real time, and it’s all online so you get to do it in your PJs if you wish!

Holly talks about The Explosive Child by Ross Greene… Click here for this seminal book.

I interviewed Tanya Trainor of Miss Tanya’s Nursery Schools in an early episode of We Turned Out Okay; click the following link to listen! https://weturnedoutokay.com/167

If you’d like to read my first book, Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, for free, click here.

My masterclass, What’s the pandemic doing to my child?, is SOLD OUT – before we even made it out of the Early Bird pricing! If you are signed up, I can’t wait to work with you on this important topic!
If you missed out on this one, stay tuned because I’ll be offering other masterclasses soon.
In fact, sign up for my free weekly newsletters, https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly, to find out about the next masterclass before the general public!

The We Turned Out Okay Playbook, my subscription-only, quality monthly playbook for parents, is going digital! Starting with the May issue you can now get this essential tool for parental well-being either in your physical American snail mailbox, or digitally, if you live outside of the US – or if you’d rather enjoy a digital, than physical, copy!
Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/playbook for details, and to subscribe.

Video, links, and show notes for this episode are all located at https://weturnedoutokay.com/361

Thanks for being here!

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Listen to this conversation as well as the 360-plus-episode back catalog of We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Stitcher Podcasts

 

360.5: Pandemic survivor’s guilt

My coaching client is celebrating so much: vaccines, in-person schooling and a new friend for her daughter! For me, this picture evokes those good feelings.

There is no manual for emerging from a pandemic, just as there is none for living through one.
So my private coaching client Kate’s questions might be very familiar to you:
– “Am I being selfish?” (To send her child to in-person school, or summer camp.)
– How do we keep “the comfort of closeness” we’ve had during all this, but still foster a kid’s independence?
– What about kids’ physical safety – when they are not right next to us, when they are off doing normal childhood things (like school or summer camp)?
This is usually an off week for the podcast, but in speaking with Kate, the concerns she brought up and the stuff she is dealing with felt extremely relevant to what you are likely experiencing right now.
If you, like Kate – like me – are wondering about any of this, you are going to LOVE this episode.
Join us!

Key Links

In this conversation Kate shares about value she got from my book, Educating Happy Kids. For this and my other books, go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/books.

Click here to register for the Toddler Play Conference, which begins Thursday 4/22/21! If you have young children you won’t want to miss this, Holly Peretz’s second annual deep dive into living, dare I even say enjoying life, with toddlers. You can watch all the presentations for free in real time, and it’s all online so you get to do it in your PJs if you wish!

My masterclass, What’s the pandemic doing to my child?, is SOLD OUT – before we even made it out of the Early Bird pricing! If you are signed up, I can’t wait to work with you on this important topic!
If you missed out on this one, stay tuned because I’ll be offering other masterclasses soon.
In fact, sign up for my free weekly newsletters, https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly, to find out about the next masterclass before the general public!

Video, links, and show notes for this episode are all located at https://weturnedoutokay.com/360.5

Thanks for being here!

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Listen to this conversation as well as the 360-plus-episode back catalog of We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Stitcher Podcasts

360: “This is all a massive unplanned adventure”… Handling life’s challenges, with Julie Lythcott-Haims

Greetings! I’ve got an awesome conversation for you to listen to, with my guest Julie Lythcott-Haims! Just one thing before we get started, it’s for grown-ups and we do swear – please be sure to listen away from sensitive ears.
At the end of this episode I share: the message I take from our talk, and Julie, is one of hope. Enjoy!!

Listen to this conversation as well as the 350+ episode back catalog of We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Stitcher Podcasts

 

This is Julie! Pick up her new book here, and see what she’s all about at her website by clicking here.

Watch our conversation just below (and watch for, toward the end, where we make it look like Julie is handing her new book from where she is in California to me over in Massachusetts via zoom! I don’t know why I find this extremely silly game so much fun but I’m endlessly grateful that Julie would play along with my frivolity : )

For this episode my guest, Julie Lythcott-Haims, wanted to be sure to let you all know: “this is not a show about parenting!”
This one’s about us, the grown-ups.
Our lives, our choices, our challenges.
Julie was Dean of Freshman at Stanford University for a decade, and in that time she helped the young adults who arrived at college become true grown-ups. She also learned a lot!
In truth, Julie has learned a lot over her whole life. She is the New York Times best-selling author of How to Raise an Adult and one of my all-time favorite books ever, Real American (which chronicles her experience growing up Black and biracial in affluent circumstances – and a white community – in the United States.)
Julie’s latest book, Your Turn: How to Be an Adult shares lots of her own stories as well as the stories of many other people, their challenges, and how they handled them. It’s storytelling plus self-help with a beautiful result!
Put it this way: I’ve been an adult for a lot of years and I learned so much from this beautiful book.
I am OVER the MOON to bring you this awesome woman’s ideas on how to handle the challenges that life sends your way.
Join us for a fast-moving, fun, and educational conversation [with swears! Be sure to listen away from littles, or other sensitive ears.]
There are all kinds of links just below, including to Julie’s books, the two upcoming free virtual summits I’m speaking in… and info on how you can be invited to my birthday party, coming up on April 19th! Continue reading “360: “This is all a massive unplanned adventure”… Handling life’s challenges, with Julie Lythcott-Haims”

The pandemic impact on kids’ physical health

Kids are still kids, even in a pandemic. That is both wonderful, and terrifying. Let me help you get your child’s behavior under control so it can be wonderful and not terrifying 🙂

I am excited to share this fourth letter in my series on “repercussions the pandemic is having on children.”

First, we looked at social development (click here to read that one.)
Then we talked about emotional development (click here to read that one).
Last week we considered mental health – click here for that newsletter –
and finally today will discuss physical health, the challenges the pandemic has brought in this area, and some ideas for how you can get good physical health into your child’s life!

(BTW these free newsletters will continue, with lots of ideas on other relevant topics if you are a parent, so stay tuned!)

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Today we’re talking about physical health.

When I think of physical health I inevitably think of the old adage “use it or lose it.”

Years ago when I first developed the tendon problems that have been with me for nearly a decade now, I began to truly understand the relationship between tendons, bones, and muscles.

One of the first things my physical therapist did was to get the inflammation out of the tendons. (For me that meant massaging out scar tissue, which was super painful, but ultimately so worth it. After eight months of being unable to walk more than a few steps due to tremendous pain, suddenly my muscles and tendons were healing. Within a very few months they were bearing the weight of my body, for the first time in nearly a year.)

I had spent all that time not using my leg muscles and as a result they atrophied.
Like, a lot.
As in, muscles on your leg – for example, shin muscles – that have a convex appearance (they round outward)… In me those muscles were concave.
I needed to push my leg to go backwards, when we began doing “water physical therapy.” My hamstring literally couldn’t pull my leg backwards!

Use it or lose it.

In the pandemic, this phrase is meaningful because it’s helped me remember a hierarchy of physical needs, for myself and my kids:
Continue reading “The pandemic impact on kids’ physical health”

Supporting children’s mental health right now

Tapping into my child development expertise, this is the third in a series on the repercussions of the pandemic on children…

A few weeks ago we looked at social development (click here to read that one.) Last week we talked about emotional development (click here to read that one). We’ll round out the series next week looking at physical health, so stay tuned!

If you’ve got any friends who might find the series relevant, you can invite them to sign up for these free weekly newsletters at the following link: https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly…

I would feel so honored if you shared. Because it means that not only are you getting a lot out of what I teach, but you know that someone else will too. Let’s spread this important information far and wide!
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Today we’re talking about mental health.

My youngest is not getting his usual enjoyment out of skiing, this year, in Covid.

No hangout time in the lodge. No going up in the lift with buddies. (Not even seeing buddies almost at all.)

In all the unhappiness his boots have started to hurt him. Poor guy! There’s nothing worse than skiing with boots that hurt.

But curiously, the boots only hurt when Jay is not actually skiing.

When he’s on the snow headed down the mountain, with the fresh air all around him and a song in his heart, his feet do not hurt.

This is so telling.

Continue reading “Supporting children’s mental health right now”

359: Setting kids up for an addiction-free life with NYT best-selling author and Mom Jessica Lahey

Greetings! In today’s conversation my guest, Jessica Lahey, and I discuss some big and weighty issues… This would be a good episode to listen to away from sensitive ears or wearing headphones. (It’s an awesome episode, just awesome for us grown-ups : )

Listen to this conversation as well as the 350+ episode back catalog ofWe Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Stitcher Podcasts

 

(I got to meet Jess Lahey in person several years ago, and this picture was taken then : )

 

 

 

I feel an immense sense of gratitude to Jess for coming back on the show (she is a returning champion! Click this link to listen to our first conversation: https://weturnedoutokay.com/054.)

Jess is the author of the new book The Addiction Inoculation (which you can order by clicking here! Squee!) Her ideas on educating kids, fostering a sense of trust while keeping children accountable to themselves, and her fearless examination of her own journey with substance abuse are what my gratitude is based in.

But Jess brings so much more to our conversation. She’s funny, not afraid to laugh at herself, and super supportive of her audience, her family, and fellow writers. Talking with Jess is a learning opportunity about:
– What gaslighting is and how it hurts children
– How we can protect our kids against addiction
– How we can develop the most important habits (spoiler: it’s through play and gamifying)

ALSO! It’s the first in our new segment, Triumphs & Misdemeanors, where we get to hear your voices and either celebrate how you have knocked it out of the park – or commune with you if you share an epic fail…
Listen after my conversation with Jess to hear today’s Triumph, and so you can write down the phone number and contribute your own Triumph, or Misdemeanor!

Click weturnedoutokay.com/359 to view this conversation in video, and for the bazillion links too! Continue reading “359: Setting kids up for an addiction-free life with NYT best-selling author and Mom Jessica Lahey”