Courage to the lion

Happy Thursday!
Settle in for a longer-than-usual newsletter. Part story, part analysis.
All from the heart.
I am feeling extremely vulnerable in this moment, sharing out this newsletter… All hugs are appreciated <3

Okay, deep breath.…

I have always been afraid. Ever since I can remember anyway.

For me, the fear started when I was sexually abused as a seven-year-old. That completely changed my worldview.

I had been, I am told, a pretty happy-go-lucky kid prior to that.

But my memory is of anxiety, worry, and a fear of being lost.
If we went outside of my ken while driving in the car, I would fearfully ask my mom “are we lost?”
She always told me “nope, we are on an adventure!”

But the anxiety was still there. I always wished I’d never have to leave home once we returned.

When I was about eight years old, I got separated from my mom and brothers at the grocery store.

I concluded that they had left me there… So I started walking home.
Continue reading “Courage to the lion”

364: “ADHD is kind of a superpower” with Janine Halloran, Mom, Best-selling Author, and LMHC

Greetings! Yes, on its surface this is a conversation (with 6-time returning champion Janine Halloran! So excited to bring her back to you!) about ADHD.

But it’s about so much more.
It’s about expectations, and how they create the roles our children inhabit.
It’s about us, the roles we inhabit, and how we got here.
It’s about what we can do that would be detrimental, or helpful – again, not just with the concerns of ADHD. But with so much more.
I’m excited to welcome you into this conversation, and I’m grateful that you are here!
Key links and video located at https://weturnedoutokay.com/364

Key Links

Click here for the video that I share in the intro, in which six photographers were told six different things about the same man – and as a result of their different expectations, they produce six completely different portraits of that man.

Click https://weturnedoutokay.com/191 for the conversation I share about in the intro, me talking with my 13-year-old son… He accuses me of being “Pollyanna-ish.” It’s a fascinating chat even if you don’t happen to be this boy’s mother!

Click https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to sign up for my weekly newsletters… Each is an invitation to go deeper with me. To get to know me better, to correspond, and to get support for your challenges. Completely free, just bring your open heart <3

Click http://copingskillsforkids.com to check out all of the useful and fun stuff that Janine is doing!

Click here for the amazing Rick Riordan book series about Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

Click here for an article about one of Dav Pilkey’s Captain Underpants books, which the author withdrew from publication recently.

Click here for the Angst movie.

Click https://weturnedoutokay.com/194 for my conversation with awesome author Joshilyn Jackson, a New York Times best-selling fiction author (who shares on my show that she didn’t feel empathy until she became a parent. A fascinating conversation!)

Click https://weturnedoutokay.com/324 for my conversation with Janine during OkayCon 2020, the video series I did to support parents during the pandemic… It was called “Why your child’s behavior may be worse now than usual, and what to do about it, with Janine Halloran, LMHC”

Click https://weturnedoutokay.com/300 to hear my roundtable conversation with Janine, today’s guest, and special-needs preschool teacher Tricia Tomaso. Two of my favorite humans on the whole planet, together in a fabulous roundtable discussion!

Click https://weturnedoutokay.com/361 for the first in this ADHD series, called “ADHD is not a result of parenting” – talking with pediatric occupational therapist Holly Peretz today!”

Click here to check out Janine’s courses for educators on developing patients’ and students’ coping skills. Very cool!

Listen to We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOApple

Spotify… http://bit.ly/WTOOSpotify

Stitcher Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOStitcher

361: “ADHD is not a result of parenting” – talking with pediatric occupational therapist Holly Peretz today!

Greetings! Welcome to this first installment in my series on ADHD <3
Scroll down for video of my conversation with Holly (who shares incredible insights into ADD, ADHD, and constructive ways to think about these neurodiversities) as well as lots of links. I’m glad you’re here!

Listen to this conversation as well as the 360-plus-episode back catalog of We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Stitcher Podcasts

 

 

I am honored and thrilled to bring you this conversation with pediatric occupational therapist – and mom of toddlers – Holly Peretz!
As you’ll hear in our conversation, Holly knows lots about the challenges of raising young children.
In fact she’s built an entire virtual summit around addressing these challenges, and thriving (both you, and your kids thriving, I mean.)

Click here to sign up for Holly’s upcoming, amazing Toddler Play Conference – I am a speaker once again and so excited to be a part of this conference!

In today’s conversation, Holly shares her knowledge of ADD and ADHD. Specifically we discuss how to know if your child has one of these neurodiversities, what to do around this whole subject that is helpful, and what to avoid doing.

Key links below – hope you enjoy this episode of We Turned Out Okay!

Key Links

Click here to register for the Toddler Play Conference, which begins Thursday 4/22/21! You can watch all the presentations for free in real time, and it’s all online so you get to do it in your PJs if you wish!

Holly talks about The Explosive Child by Ross Greene… Click here for this seminal book.

I interviewed Tanya Trainor of Miss Tanya’s Nursery Schools in an early episode of We Turned Out Okay; click the following link to listen! https://weturnedoutokay.com/167

If you’d like to read my first book, Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, for free, click here.

My masterclass, What’s the pandemic doing to my child?, is SOLD OUT – before we even made it out of the Early Bird pricing! If you are signed up, I can’t wait to work with you on this important topic!
If you missed out on this one, stay tuned because I’ll be offering other masterclasses soon.
In fact, sign up for my free weekly newsletters, https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly, to find out about the next masterclass before the general public!

The We Turned Out Okay Playbook, my subscription-only, quality monthly playbook for parents, is going digital! Starting with the May issue you can now get this essential tool for parental well-being either in your physical American snail mailbox, or digitally, if you live outside of the US – or if you’d rather enjoy a digital, than physical, copy!
Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/playbook for details, and to subscribe.

Video, links, and show notes for this episode are all located at https://weturnedoutokay.com/361

Thanks for being here!

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Listen to this conversation as well as the 360-plus-episode back catalog of We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Stitcher Podcasts

 

360.5: Pandemic survivor’s guilt

My coaching client is celebrating so much: vaccines, in-person schooling and a new friend for her daughter! For me, this picture evokes those good feelings.

There is no manual for emerging from a pandemic, just as there is none for living through one.
So my private coaching client Kate’s questions might be very familiar to you:
– “Am I being selfish?” (To send her child to in-person school, or summer camp.)
– How do we keep “the comfort of closeness” we’ve had during all this, but still foster a kid’s independence?
– What about kids’ physical safety – when they are not right next to us, when they are off doing normal childhood things (like school or summer camp)?
This is usually an off week for the podcast, but in speaking with Kate, the concerns she brought up and the stuff she is dealing with felt extremely relevant to what you are likely experiencing right now.
If you, like Kate – like me – are wondering about any of this, you are going to LOVE this episode.
Join us!

Key Links

In this conversation Kate shares about value she got from my book, Educating Happy Kids. For this and my other books, go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/books.

Click here to register for the Toddler Play Conference, which begins Thursday 4/22/21! If you have young children you won’t want to miss this, Holly Peretz’s second annual deep dive into living, dare I even say enjoying life, with toddlers. You can watch all the presentations for free in real time, and it’s all online so you get to do it in your PJs if you wish!

My masterclass, What’s the pandemic doing to my child?, is SOLD OUT – before we even made it out of the Early Bird pricing! If you are signed up, I can’t wait to work with you on this important topic!
If you missed out on this one, stay tuned because I’ll be offering other masterclasses soon.
In fact, sign up for my free weekly newsletters, https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly, to find out about the next masterclass before the general public!

Video, links, and show notes for this episode are all located at https://weturnedoutokay.com/360.5

Thanks for being here!

_________________________________

Listen to this conversation as well as the 360-plus-episode back catalog of We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Stitcher Podcasts

The pandemic impact on kids’ physical health

Kids are still kids, even in a pandemic. That is both wonderful, and terrifying. Let me help you get your child’s behavior under control so it can be wonderful and not terrifying 🙂

I am excited to share this fourth letter in my series on “repercussions the pandemic is having on children.”

First, we looked at social development (click here to read that one.)
Then we talked about emotional development (click here to read that one).
Last week we considered mental health – click here for that newsletter –
and finally today will discuss physical health, the challenges the pandemic has brought in this area, and some ideas for how you can get good physical health into your child’s life!

(BTW these free newsletters will continue, with lots of ideas on other relevant topics if you are a parent, so stay tuned!)

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Today we’re talking about physical health.

When I think of physical health I inevitably think of the old adage “use it or lose it.”

Years ago when I first developed the tendon problems that have been with me for nearly a decade now, I began to truly understand the relationship between tendons, bones, and muscles.

One of the first things my physical therapist did was to get the inflammation out of the tendons. (For me that meant massaging out scar tissue, which was super painful, but ultimately so worth it. After eight months of being unable to walk more than a few steps due to tremendous pain, suddenly my muscles and tendons were healing. Within a very few months they were bearing the weight of my body, for the first time in nearly a year.)

I had spent all that time not using my leg muscles and as a result they atrophied.
Like, a lot.
As in, muscles on your leg – for example, shin muscles – that have a convex appearance (they round outward)… In me those muscles were concave.
I needed to push my leg to go backwards, when we began doing “water physical therapy.” My hamstring literally couldn’t pull my leg backwards!

Use it or lose it.

In the pandemic, this phrase is meaningful because it’s helped me remember a hierarchy of physical needs, for myself and my kids:
Continue reading “The pandemic impact on kids’ physical health”

Supporting children’s mental health right now

Tapping into my child development expertise, this is the third in a series on the repercussions of the pandemic on children…

A few weeks ago we looked at social development (click here to read that one.) Last week we talked about emotional development (click here to read that one). We’ll round out the series next week looking at physical health, so stay tuned!

If you’ve got any friends who might find the series relevant, you can invite them to sign up for these free weekly newsletters at the following link: https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly…

I would feel so honored if you shared. Because it means that not only are you getting a lot out of what I teach, but you know that someone else will too. Let’s spread this important information far and wide!
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Today we’re talking about mental health.

My youngest is not getting his usual enjoyment out of skiing, this year, in Covid.

No hangout time in the lodge. No going up in the lift with buddies. (Not even seeing buddies almost at all.)

In all the unhappiness his boots have started to hurt him. Poor guy! There’s nothing worse than skiing with boots that hurt.

But curiously, the boots only hurt when Jay is not actually skiing.

When he’s on the snow headed down the mountain, with the fresh air all around him and a song in his heart, his feet do not hurt.

This is so telling.

Continue reading “Supporting children’s mental health right now”

Cultivating “one distinct advantage” in kids

Tapping into my child development expertise in this, the second in a series on the repercussions of the pandemic on children…

Last week we looked at social development (click here to read that one.) In future weeks we discuss mental and physical health, so stay tuned!

If you’ve got any friends who might find the series relevant, invite them to sign up for these free weekly newsletters at the following link: https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly

I would feel so honored if you shared. Because it means that not only are you getting a lot out of what I teach, but you know that someone else will too. Let’s spread this important information far and wide!
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Let’s talk about emotional development.

Recently my dad called me, just to chat. As soon as he asked “how are you?” I burst into tears.

We ended up talking for over an hour.

Dad really listened to me. He asked very good questions. And then he asked great follow-up questions.

When we got off the phone I told him “I feel so much better.”

And I really did! There is true power in feeling heard.

“One distinct advantage”… Continue reading “Cultivating “one distinct advantage” in kids”

Social repercussions of the pandemic on children

Going back to my child development roots for this, the first in a series on the repercussions of the pandemic on children…

In future weeks we discuss emotional, mental, and physical health, so stay tuned!

If you’ve got any friends who might find the series relevant, you can invite them to sign up for these free weekly newsletters at the following link: https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly

I would feel so honored if you shared. Because it means that not only are you getting a lot out of what I teach, but you know that someone else will too. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart <3

I want to kick off this series by talking about something that’s on everyone’s minds these days:
Children’s social development.

What’s the pandemic doing to children, socially?

How is it impacting their development? Continue reading “Social repercussions of the pandemic on children”

The two most important factors in reaching kids

Happy Thursday!

Two stories today, as I’ve been thinking back on some of the successes I had as a preschool teacher.

I once helped a selectively mute girl find her voice.
(Selective mutism is when a child can speak, but only chooses to with trusted people.)
She had literally not spoken for six months in our classroom at that point, since the beginning of the school year.

I helped her find her voice with puppets, and the Three Billy Goes Gruff story.

Wendy really, really wanted to play with her friends! She wanted to be part of this puppet show.
But she was so scared.
Finally, drawn on by her own interest in being part of the story and playing with her friends, Wendy decided to give it a try.
It felt good to help her put on one of the puppets, be there with her to say the lines and to hear her repeat them.As I say she had literally not spoken for six months in our classroom at that point.
And she found her voice!
After that puppet show, Wendy opened up to us.

She often giggled, spoke with friends. She began sharing her thoughts with both children and adults in our classroom.
Each time she did my heart would sing.
I once helped a little boy come out of his own world and enter ours.

Continue reading “The two most important factors in reaching kids”

Helping kids love themselves and their bodies

A favorite band of mine, The Samples, has a song called Could It Be Another Change in which they sing:

You can’t love no one…
You can’t love something…
You can’t love nothin…
You can’t love anything
Till you can love yourself…
You can love yourself.

This has been on my mind a lot recently. I’ve been thinking about the messages we give our loved ones based on how we feel about ourselves.

I think in part it’s been on my mind so much because recently I was invited to be an expert speaker in a conference, Kids’ Healthy Bodies, hosted by Sarah Scheldt, M.Ed. (The series begins February 15 and will run for 14 days; click here to get your free ticket!)

My friend Sarah has pulled together a list of impressive speakers to share real-life strategies on how you can have empowered conversations with your kids around their bodies, health, and so much more! Continue reading “Helping kids love themselves and their bodies”