How do young children learn? | Podcast Episode 292

“Learning” can mean different things to different people:
– Getting good grades
– Passing a test
– Reading, writing, coding, mathematics, etc.

But how do we get to the point where we know, and can demonstrate, our knowledge?
It all starts in early childhood.
Today we dive into how young children learn best.

Plus in Parenting News: As parents, we can’t be all serious and big-business. Without some downtime, we can’t keep going, in child-rearing, in outside-of-the-home jobs, or within ourselves.
I have been going through some pretty major burnout, and today in Parenting News, I share about a resource that has been making me feel way better: The Adventure Zone, in both podcast and graphic novel form. If this completely awesome, totally-not-for-kids sci-fi-fantasy thing is not for you, that is absolutely fine! But take this moment to find something that does get you the downtime enjoyment that you need.

Join us!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/292 for a cheat sheet on the 3 ways kids learn best, key links from this episode, free guides (on potty training, picky eating, and how to handle every temper tantrum), and lots more resources!
Also:

And thank you so much for listening!

Today’s episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, and an incredible resource she has created to help your child handle even the biggest feelings!
Click copingskillsforkids.com/coping-cue-cards to check out Janine’s Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks.

Continue reading “How do young children learn? | Podcast Episode 292”

“Who we are as children never goes away;” speaking with Anna Seewald of Authentic Parenting | Podcast Episode 291

Today’s guest, Anna Seewald of the Authentic Parenting Podcast, experienced a truly traumatic event in her childhood, an earthquake in which she lost her mother.
In part because of this experience, she went on to become a therapist, a woman who has dedicated her life to helping others through their toughest moments.
“My true passion is to help children to thrive,” she writes.
Today we discuss many ways to help your child to do exactly that.
I know you will get a lot out of this conversation. Many thanks to Anna Seewald for coming on We Turned Out Okay!

Plus in Parenting News: Back in July I got to be a guest on Anna’s show! Extending on this theme about how childhood experiences shape us, I share that I was sexually assaulted at age 7.
This experience fundamentally changed my personality, and has had repercussions through all of my life. But here’s the thing, while I would of course never wish something like this on anyone, not all the repercussions have been bad.
Click authenticparenting.com/185 to listen to our conversation.
Though certainly tough in parts, overall it’s a hopeful, and I really hope helpful (hence the sharing as Parenting News) conversation.

Join us!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/291 for key links from this episode, free guides (on potty training, picky eating, and how to handle every temper tantrum), and lots more resources!
Also:

And thank you so much for listening!

Today’s episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, and an incredible resource she has created to help your child handle even the biggest feelings!
Click copingskillsforkids.com/coping-cue-cards to check out Janine’s Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks.

Continue reading ““Who we are as children never goes away;” speaking with Anna Seewald of Authentic Parenting | Podcast Episode 291″

Raising boys who are empowered, and not jerks: A Conversation with Dr. Michael Reichert | Podcast Episode 285

Raising two boys – pictured here at 5 and 1 years old – this conversation meant so much to me personally.

FYI: Next week I’m teaching a FREE workshop on independence, for your child and you, in the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group: click this link to take part or scroll down right here in your podcatcher to find out more!

 

 

 

When I first saw How to Raise a Boy,

the book today’s guest, Michael Reichert, PhD, wrote, I knew I was in for a treat. Dr. Reichert ‘s writing is a skillful blend of personal stories and relevant, amazing research, and before I knew it I was highlighting, marking pages with Post-it notes, and pumped to speak with Dr. Reichert!

And, our conversation does not disappoint.
If you’ve got questions about:
 – Your son turning into a “mama’s boy”
 – How to (in the words of one of our WTOO Facebook group members) “empower boys to be their best selves without being jerks”
 – Or even if you have questions about why – if you’re raising girls and not boys – you should care;
You’ll find this conversation relevant and compelling.

I’m so thankful to Dr. Reichert for coming on the show today, and I hope you enjoy our conversation, and learn from it, as much as I did.

Plus in Parenting News: I’ve just learned of an amazing new resource for parents, the Revive Show, a live Internet radio show, and you need to hear about it too. I learned of it when I was invited on as a guest, and I think you will love the show!

Join us!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/285 for:

  • A cheat sheet on highlights from this wonderful conversation
  • Key links we talk about in this episode
  • The video of the week: OFF this week for the July 4 holiday, returning July 11, so hang in there : )

And thank you so much for listening!

I am teaching a FREE, weeklong workshop on how to get your child to be more independent so they don’t have to rely on you!

We will address: how to stop being a helicopter parent, how to get kids to amuse themselves, independence with potty training and hygiene, food issues, and more, so join us if you need help with any of this!

This free workshop takes place all next week, July 8-12, in the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group… Click here to join the group!

Continue reading “Raising boys who are empowered, and not jerks: A Conversation with Dr. Michael Reichert | Podcast Episode 285”

True or False: There is no way to teach social skills | Podcast Episode 284

Heads up on 2 counts:
First, I’m teaching a FREE Online Parenting Class I’m teaching this Thursday, “How to Help Your Kids Get Along with Other Kids!” Scroll down to read more and sign up!

Second, soon I am teaching a FREE, week long workshop on how to get your child to be more independent so they don’t have to rely on you!
I’m teaching this workshop in the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group. Click here to join the group!

My jaw was on the floor recently during a parent coaching call with one of our Ninja Parenting Community members, when she revealed that her child’s teacher told her “there is no way to teach social skills.”
Immediately I knew I wanted your thoughts on this… and if this is also your belief, I’d like to use today’s podcast episode to change your mind.

Because of course we can teach social skills!
In today’s episode I offer three ways to do so.

Please learn them, heed them, take them into your heart.

Because without these crucial skills – without humans passing them on to our offspring – our society breaks down.

And also life is a lot less fun!

Plus in Parenting News: I’m sharing about a new favorite podcast of mine, An Arm and A Leg, a podcast about the insanity of healthcare in the United States. It’s a great show because it tells amazing stories, and finds a lot to be optimistic about, in a part of American society that I was feeling increasingly frustrated with… turns out I am not the only one.

Join us!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/284 for:

  • A cheat sheet on the 3 ways you can teach social skills to your young child
  • Key links we talk about in this episode
  • The video of the week: “Can I teach my child social skills? And if so how?”

And thank you so much for listening!

How to Help Kids Get Along with Other Kids: FREE Online Parenting Class!

Does your child struggle to get along with siblings, classmates, cousins, or at the playground?
Do your kids push, hit, or even bite to get their way?
Let me help… Sign up for the Free Online Parenting Class I am teaching Thursday, June 27!

You’ll learn:

  • What’s most important when thinking about kids dealing with siblings or other kids
  • The 3 keys to good child and sibling relations
  • How to overcome one crucial factor that impedes a child’s ability to get along with other kids
  • Which principles to adopt – and which to drop – in helping kids get along

Sign up to watch it live at 2 PM on Thursday, June 27 OR sign up to catch the replay at your convenience.
Start summer off right by learning how to help your kids get along with other kids. Sign up at the link below!
weturnedoutokay.com/siblings

The show is sponsored this week by Julian Coffee, a unique and amazing coffee that comes from a family farm in Puerto Rico and that will help you start your day off right! Listen to today’s episode for the code that will get you 10% off when you go to juliancoffeepr.com or Julian Coffee’s page in Amazon.

Continue reading “True or False: There is no way to teach social skills | Podcast Episode 284”

Where is my child, developmentally? | Podcast Episode 280

Welcome to another installment of Educating Little Kids! (When it’s a book, it will have a better title, promise.)
We dive into development today, and if you’re wondering “why should I care about child development,” I hope this episode makes that clear.

Really and truly, it’s a good thing to know.

Today we dive into the stages of development – stages all of us humans are going through – to give you a sense of where your child is developmentally.

Plus in Parenting News: How our own biases can stop us from seeing what is actually right in front of us.

Join us!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/280 for:

  • A cheat sheet on the first 3 stages of human development
  • The video of the week: “Why should I care about child development?”

And thank you so much for listening!

Live Q&A and Open House Tour

Ever wished you could check out the private coaching community that I run for parents of young children?
Do you have questions about if it could work for you, even in your busy, insane life and with whatever technical skills you possess (especially if you feel like they’re not very good)?
You’re in luck! On THIS coming Thursday, May 30, I am throwing open the doors to the Ninja Parenting Community!
I’m taking you right inside, and showing you:
– What our members love about it
– How the community helps parents turn family time into “the best time of the day”
– And I’m taking questions too!

It’s free… I’m so excited to bring you in and show you around!
It’s live… But even if you can’t be there live at 2PM EST, signing up gets you the replay so you can rewatch as many times as you like.
It’s where my heart and soul is… because I get to work closely with so many amazing parents.

Don’t miss out on discovering this secret to happy parenting…
Click weturnedoutokay.com/tour to sign up!

 

Continue reading “Where is my child, developmentally? | Podcast Episode 280”

Kids and Autonomy

“What did I care [about the future], if in the here and now you were alive, and well, and happy? I never dreamed that I would have such a person on my hands.” – Albus Dumbledore

My oldest child, Max, always hated timers.

From when he was really small, whenever I would set a timer and say “you’ve got two more minutes,” it sent him all to pieces.

He’d spend those two minutes staring at the timer, and crying as often as not. He just could not forget about it and go back to whatever he was doing.

I think it was just the idea of this clock ticking down: Tick. Tick. Tick.

So, we stopped using them very early on. It was not worth the struggle, especially as he did so much better when I would say “you need to be all done with that in two minutes” without the timer.

And then, in his tweens in early teens (he is 18 now, and has given me permission to share this story), Max confronted the scourge of the alarm clock.

He hates coming and going to the dictates of an alarm, an alert. It’s just too much like a timer for him.

But even though it’s like nails on a chalkboard, he has figured out how to use it.

He’s also figured out how to schedule his life, so he gets to class, and work, on time.
He gets himself and his brother to school on time.
He even schedules and gets himself to his own haircut appointments.

In short, Max is a very responsible 18-year-old.

A fact that I failed to see, and which has caused much conflict in our home as we try to figure out how to live together, 3 adults in one house.

“I need more autonomy.”

Early in the year Max asked for a meeting with his Dad and I.
He scheduled it to tell us that he wants “more autonomy.” He wanted us to help him figure out how to get that autonomy.

Together, the three of us figured out a system that would work.

And it was working, until I went and screwed it up this week by getting too worried.

I started obsessively tracking: what time did he get in last night?
How long did his alarm have to go off this morning before he shut it off and got up?
Did he eat anything before he left the house?
Would he get to his destination on time?

In talking to people whose opinion I really respect, such as my therapist, I decided it would be best to take a hard line:
“Max, don’t make your Dad and I ratchet back the hours you’re allowed to use OUR car.”

To us – maybe to you – this sounds eminently reasonable.
What I was really saying was “keep towing this line… Keep showing me you are safe. That’s how you can have your autonomy.”

But what Max heard and felt was very different. He felt that he could never just be private, keep his own hours and do what he wanted to do.

It turns out he felt that his Dad and I didn’t trust him.

So, what did he do about his feeling that we were keeping too many tabs on him?
Did he “show us” by staying out too late, deliberately?
Did he rail at us, and shout and yell?
Did he swear and scream and throw things?

No.
He did none of the above.
Instead, he did something that showed me how truly grown-up he really is:
He kept bringing it up with us. Even through tears and his obvious frustrations, even through his anger with us and his feeling that we don’t trust him.
He kept his part of this conversation open, and (maybe most importantly) he kept upholding his other responsibilities.

One thing that really resonated: he said “roommates don’t tell each other where they’re going and when they’ll be home.”

I suddenly realized, he’s incredibly trustworthy.
He doesn’t drive while intoxicated.
He keeps himself and his laundry clean.
He cheerfully chauffeurs his brother around.
He contributes to the chores around here.

Max engages with us in conversation even! He spends quality time with us. (To me, this is the most important one.)
He enjoys the banter around the dinner table, and loves to go really deep on a whole bunch of topics.
Max and his girlfriend came out to celebrate with us over the weekend, because younger brother Jay scored his first-ever soccer goal.

All this really came to a head in our most recent discussion just this morning. While we spoke I remembered how much he hated timers as a boy.

Max hates anything that he feels is a restriction on him.
And he always has.

This is so completely different from the way that I think. I like the security of a finite amount of time!

I like knowing when something will end, and when it will be time to move on to the next thing.

It never occurred to me that somebody would not like that.
But the next thought that followed logically was: just because you don’t want somebody looking over your shoulder, you don’t want to be timed, does that make you a bad person?
Does it make you untrustworthy?

Of course not.

As soon as I realized all this, like just a few hours ago, I knew what I needed to do. I needed to ease up on the restrictions that Max felt were most egregious, mostly about continually being in touch via text message.

I realized that I needed to change my current relationship with him. He’s no longer a child.

He’s a trustworthy man, who can be responsible for his own schedule, sleep, and life. I must support him in that – but not by monitoring.

“I never dreamed I would have such a person on my hands.” Albus Dumbledore said those words about this child that he loved.

But when he said those words, the child was no longer a child. And in that scene Dumbledore’s mistake (as he shares with Harry) is the mistake of an older person, trying to control a younger person by messing with his autonomy.

I wanted to share the story with you today, because you may have a child who hates timers.
Or not – maybe it is you who hates the timers, and your child loves them. And maybe you cannot understand that.

Even if you don’t understand your child’s preferences, do your best to keep those lines of communication open.

Because someday your child will be no longer a child.

What’s up on the podcast this week:

If you’ve ever struggled with less-than-quality childcare, whether in daycare or in a school setting, today’s episode is for you!

Because you are not alone. I’ve been working closely with people whose childcare providers do inscrutable things – one mom tells of an “aggression journal” her 3-year-old son’s childcare teachers are keeping about him! – and another who found her most recent parent-teacher conference frightening and overwhelming.

Which is why today I’m bringing you, in audio format, the class I taught just last week, all about “How to get quality childcare.”

Click the link below to listen:
https://weturnedoutokay.com/272

What’s up on my YouTube channel this week:

Extending on this theme, the live YouTube (I do one every Thursday) is called
“3 crucial factors for quality childcare”
Check out my YouTube channel by clicking here.

What’s up in the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group this week:

Each Monday at 10:30 a.m. EST, I do a superquick Facebook live that I call “Magic Words for Parents”… And this week I share one single question you can ask a child care provider, in order to ensure that your child is getting good quality childcare.
This, and all the back episodes of Magic Words for Parents are available 24/7 in the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group, so  click here to view or (if you haven’t yet) join!

Wishing you a wonderful parenting week,
Cheers!
Karen of https://weturnedoutokay.com

Continue reading “Kids and Autonomy”

Why does my child ask the same questions over and over? | Podcast Episode 269

Last summer, the two-year-old son of a Ninja Parenting Community member was in a car accident. Thankfully no one was injured. But the car was totaled.

And this little boy kept asking the same question, over and over:
“Why did Daddy crash Daddy’s car?” The accident was not Daddy’s fault. But you couldn’t convince the boy of that!

Everyone just wanted to move on.

But this little boy struggled to do that.

Maybe your child hasn’t recently been in a car accident, and so this isn’t the question that keeps getting asked.

But I bet, if you’ve got a toddler or preschooler, or even an elementary school kid, you know this phenomenon very well.

Today: what to do about it, when your child asks the same question again and again!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/269 for:

  • A cheat sheet on how to handle it when your child keeps asking the same question over and over, and it’s driving you nuts
  • Key links from today’s episode
  • The video of the week: Off this week, returning March 28

And thank you so much for listening!

How to Get Quality Childcare: Free Online Class!

Learn:
– The keys to finding the best child care for your young child
– To avoid one crucial factor that can derail your efforts to find good childcare
– Which questions to ask – and which not too – to assure your child thrives in others’ care

We cover this and more in the FREE online class I’m teaching on Thursday, March 28!
Sign up today – even if you can’t be there live, the replay will be available for several days after.

Get the best child care for your kiddos by taking this class, for free! Sign up here and I will see you on March 28: )

Continue reading “Why does my child ask the same questions over and over? | Podcast Episode 269”

Your questions – about dealing with intolerance, surviving crummy daycare, shoe-throwing, and more – answered with veteran preschool teacher Tricia Tomaso | Episode 267

Wondering what to do when:
– Your child fills the pull up or leaks through, every single night, despite being potty trained during the day?
– You are stuck – at least for a little while – with subpar childcare?
– Your child is being picked on due to intolerance?

We answer these questions and more, in today’s episode!
I’m so excited to bring you another round of Ask the Experts with Tricia Tomaso!

[FYI: in the break I mention having One Question for you… Click here to hear the bonus episode about the question, and click here to answer the question!]

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/267 for:

  • A cheat sheet on the questions and answers we share in this episode
  • Key links from today’s episode
  • The video of the week: “How to help your child if they’re being picked on or bullied”

And thank you so much for listening!

Temper Tantrums and Potty Training:

During today’s break I share about two helpful free guides I offer.
While the podcast is long-form – your opportunity to look into the mind of a child development expert – the free guides are super quick.

You can watch the video, read the checklist, and immediately handle the temper tantrums or get started with potty training (depending on which guide you choose : )

  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to handle every temper tantrum
  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to successfully potty train your child
  • Want to receive valuable ideas and tips on parenting, without either free guide above? Click here for my weekly parenting newsletter!

Continue reading “Your questions – about dealing with intolerance, surviving crummy daycare, shoe-throwing, and more – answered with veteran preschool teacher Tricia Tomaso | Episode 267”

A glimpse into your child’s future with guest Blake Boles of Unschool Adventures | Podcast Episode 264

I know it’s difficult to imagine your child as a teen or young adult. 

But it will happen, and sooner than you think. If you just can’t imagine it – if it even makes you a little frightened to think of – today’s guest will inspire hope and excitement in you (he did for me : )

Today I’m excited to share a conversation with a guy who works with teenagers to help them achieve their goals, Blake Boles of the Off Trail Learning Podcast, UnschoolAdventures.com, and author of three excellent books for helping teens figure out what they really want out of life.

Hope you enjoy this glimpse into the future! Go to weturnedoutokay.com/264 for:

  • Links to Blake’s book, podcast, and website (where you can sign up for his newsletter, Update from the Blake-O-Sphere, and which makes me do a little happy dance each time I see it in my inbox)
  • The video of the week: “From Toddler to Teen: What to Expect”

And thank you so much for listening!

Temper Tantrums and Potty Training:

During today’s break I share about two helpful free guides I offer.
While the podcast is long-form – your opportunity to look into the mind of a child development expert – the free guides are super quick.

You can watch the video, read the checklist, and immediately handle the temper tantrums or get started with potty training (depending on which guide you choose : )

  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to handle every temper tantrum
  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to successfully potty train your child
  • Want to receive valuable ideas and tips on parenting, without either free guide above? Click here for my weekly parenting newsletter!

Continue reading “A glimpse into your child’s future with guest Blake Boles of Unschool Adventures | Podcast Episode 264”

Emotional health for us and our kids: Author Maureen Healy joins us today! Podcast Episode 261

How can I stop my child from being so impulsive?
How can I stop her from hurting others with her bad behavior?
How can I stop him from alienating people because he’s hitting, or spitting, or worse?

Sometimes it is scary how much anger and frustration our little kids have inside. And when it erupts, we can feel so powerless.

This week’s We Turned Out Okay podcast episode guest, Maureen Healy, has written a book called The Emotionally Healthy Child, to help us deal with these aspects of our young children.

When I invited Maureen on the show, I knew she had written a wonderful book for us. A useful tool, helping us parents figure out how to get our kids’ behavior to be more what we want to see.

But I was not prepared for the kind of depth that Maureen Healy brings to the conversation. This gentle, thoughtful woman can teach us all about what it means to be human, and how to truly connect with our loved ones, especially our children.

Hope you enjoy this conversation!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/261 for:

  • A cheat sheet of favorite ideas from our conversation
  • Key links from our conversation, including to Maureen’s wonderful book, The Emotionally Healthy Child
  • The scoop on my latest book! One reviewer says of 10 Secrets Happy Parents Know: I love how much “Karen” is in these pages… I can foresee myself using these chapter titles as self-talk mantras to remind myself to get out of discipline mode ASAP; that conflicts are opportunities; and so on.”
  • The video of the week: “Stop my young child being impulsive

And thank you so much for listening!

Temper Tantrums and Potty Training:

During today’s break I share about two helpful free guides I offer.
While the podcast is long-form – your opportunity to look into the mind of a child development expert – the free guides are super quick.

You can watch the video, read the checklist, and immediately handle the temper tantrums or get started with potty training (depending on which guide you choose : )

  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to handle every temper tantrum
  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to successfully potty train your child
  • Want to receive valuable ideas and tips on parenting, without either free guide above? Click here for my weekly parenting newsletter!

Continue reading “Emotional health for us and our kids: Author Maureen Healy joins us today! Podcast Episode 261”