The first thing that’s helping me overcome burnout and overwhelm

This is the latest in my summer-long series, taking you on my journey of recovering from overwhelm and burnout and learning ways to sustainably keep going. Click here for the first installment, “Feeling guilty.”

Hi Friends,

I’m still shocked and amazed by how much better I’m feeling, after a weekend of doing just one simple thing!
Well, simple to conceive… But not easy to implement.

If you remember, last week I sent a newsletter sharing that I was feeling incredibly guilty, overwhelmed, and burned out.

The first thing I did to address it:
I dropped off the Internet.

Not completely – but almost.

What that mostly meant was I didn’t “obsessively check.”

(I decided to leave off what I’ve been obsessively checking… because, while I obsessively checked some things, yours may be different. But the point is we are all obsessively checking something. What helped was cutting that out!)

I can’t tell you how much better I felt, not obsessively checking. Continue reading “The first thing that’s helping me overcome burnout and overwhelm”

337: Addressing our own burnout, AND beloved parenting author Audrey Monke is my guest today!

As a child development expert, I want to help you keep going in our new reality!
This conversation, recorded during March 2020 (in other words at the very beginning of the pandemic here in the US), I know will be super helpful for that.

I am excited to bring you my conversation with the author of one of my favorite parenting books (it’s called Happy Campers) – Audrey Monke of sunshine-parenting.com is today’s OkayCon 2020 guest!

Audrey shares:
– How to stay positive, even while everyone is cooped up together
– Some great family-focused activities you can do to make your stuck at home time more enjoyable
– What lessons Audrey, her family, and counselors and campers (who attend the summer camp Audrey owns and runs) are learning from this time

Learn how to keep going:
In my (free) Weekly Parenting Newsletters I am taking you on my journey of recovering from burnout, exhaustion, and huge feelings of guilt.
I am working to feel at peace with myself – to keep going, raising my kids, keeping our household running, and feeling happy inside – and if you want some tools to help you accomplish those miracles, click this link! Weturnedoutokay.com/weekly

NPC Summer Camp registration ENDS Wednesday 7/1
One way parents have been feeling way better, recovering from exhaustion, handling their kids’ fears, clinginess, and potty training issues: the Ninja Parenting Community.
Get access to everything in the community and enjoy a summer camp program created just for you, if you are looking for connection and positivity in our new reality!
I am closing registration to NPC on Wednesday, July 1 at 9 PM EST – enroll today, and take that first step toward being able to feel at peace with yourself and (sustainably) keep going!
Here is the link, jump in while there is still time:
weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC

(go to weturnedoutokay.com/337 for notes to this episode)
We will get through this together!
Cheers –
Karen
Continue reading “337: Addressing our own burnout, AND beloved parenting author Audrey Monke is my guest today!”

Feeling guilty

In a (pre-pandemic) live storytelling event, I looked and felt in my element. There was no guilt or imposter syndrome that day! In this post I outline how I plan to get back my mojo, and I share how I’m taking you along on this journey with me. (Photo by Jennifer Provost)

Hi Friends,

Just a quick note today, wishing you well and sharing a discovery I’ve made about myself:

I’m feeling guilty.

Guilty that I haven’t been as good a parent as I wanted to be in the pandemic.

Guilty for not doing enough to address systemic racism and other injustices.

Guilty that I dove into our emergency chocolate, and finished it all within a few days.

Guilty that, no matter how much I do, it doesn’t feel like enough.

Guilty for thinking “I don’t want to deal with this now” when someone in my family needs me for something.

Guilty for only doing my strength training once, in the last whole month.

And the list goes on.

It’s only just dawned on me that all this guilt comes from a couple places: Continue reading “Feeling guilty”

Practical ways to keep going

Happy Wednesday!

Today I want to share some ways that clients of mine are finding to live IN this difficult time, as a way to get through it.
These are members of my online private coaching practice, who are going through likely very similar things to what you’re going through – living with cranky or clingy kids, uncertainty about the future, and anxiety about everything from family life to our society .

As we get started I also want to remind you, NPC Summer Camp starts in just two days! I share more about the program below, and you can click here to join the Ninja Parenting Community.

1. Cranky or clingy kids, limited patience.
I am hearing from many people whose kids are extra cranky, or extra clingy, right now.

Continue reading “Practical ways to keep going”

336: Listener Q&A – Sibling jealousy and Adoption

“Would you have any recommendations for books or anything that might help with learning the best ways to integrate an older adopted child into a family, or good books on adoption and advice?”
“How to divide my attention between my 1 YO and my 4 YO… I try to give exclusive mummy daughter time but it’s never enough.”

These are the first two questions in our Q&A series… I hope they are helpful!

A Summer Camp program for you
Towards the end of the episode I mention NPC Summer Camp, a new program I’m offering to help parents of young children not just get through, but live IN, summer 2020. Opening Ceremonies are this coming Friday!

Spend your whole first month in my online coaching practice for parents (NPC) for FREE – exclusively for podcast listeners and folks in my email group – by clicking here (offer ends Wednesday, June 24, so enroll today!)

Then you’ll be all set for summer camp! We’ll have lots of fun, keeping each other company and taking control of our family’s direction in this, a summer like no other.

Camp activities are aimed at helping you enjoy family time even in this year’s difficult circumstances.
Join now, spend your whole first month in NPC for free. I can’t wait to see you in our community forums!

For the adoption and sibling jealousy links that come up today, click the following link:
weturnedoutokay.com/336

And hang in there. We will get through this together!
Continue reading “336: Listener Q&A – Sibling jealousy and Adoption”

A free gift to help you settle conflicts with your kids

Welcome to the latest edition of NPC Digest!

Hey Ninja Parents (and newsletter readers: )

Normally this Digest goes out only to current members of my online coaching practice, NPC.

I decided to share this email with everyone because it contains something super useful right now, as we continue to tread into the unknown.

Read on to find out what it is!

Settling Conflicts (NPC Training of the Week)

I’m using the weekly roundup of “what’s going on in our private online coaching practice” to share a training each week!

Today I’m sharing a tool, a PDF checklist – one tiny part of the resources in NPC – to help you in resolving conflicts with your kids.

Parents I work closely with have been very open about their concerns, as the virus surges in some parts of the country and nobody really knows how day cares or school will look, even though the new school year is just a few months away.

And yet, kids still experience big feelings.

They still have temper tantrums. They are still mean to each other, or disrespectful to us.

We need to be prepared for what’s coming, whether in our homes or in our communities, and this PDF checklist could be just the ticket next time one of your kids acts up! Continue reading “A free gift to help you settle conflicts with your kids”

The incredible value of a safe space.

Today I want to share a case study, and I’m giving you the happy ending right away:

“Thank you for making this such a safe place to fall apart and then get back up again feeling stronger.”

A mom in my private coaching practice for parents, the Ninja Parenting Community, wrote these words yesterday.

I took that as a huge compliment!
As parents, we work really hard to create a safe space for our children to have their (developmentally necessary) meltdowns.

When this mom shared her feelings that the Ninja Parenting Community is a “safe place to fall apart,” I really felt that trust!
For a member to describe the community in this way, made my heart sing.

Parents bring me their deepest worries and fears about their children, about the frightening situations that come up in their parenting, and about themselves as parents.

It’s exactly what we do in there! Give a safe place to ask questions, to be vulnerable, and ultimately so parents can learn how to handle what you’re going through.
So you can get back up feeling stronger.

Here’s how this mom began her post, a few days previous: Continue reading “The incredible value of a safe space.”

A prerequisite to getting good behavior from our kids

In my first year as a preschool teacher I worked with two four-year-old best friends, two little girls.

One was Black, and one was white.

One day I stood with them, waiting for their turns in the bathroom, as they held hands, smiling at each other, so happy to be each other’s best friend.

Then the white girl looked up at me and said:
“I don’t like Black people.”

I was shocked, dumbfounded.

I remember thinking, couldn’t this girl see that her best friend, the girl she’s currently holding hands with, is Black?

Clearly not.

In talking with my fellow teachers, they helped me understand that the white girl didn’t see her friend as “Black.” She simply saw her as her best friend.

So, where did this idea come from? Continue reading “A prerequisite to getting good behavior from our kids”

When a parent’s leadership skills really matter

“I feel so helpless.” This is something I’ve been hearing a lot from parents.
We can feel helpless within our own lives, our ability to control our children’s behavior. We can also feel helpless about world events, and what if any part we could play in alleviating suffering or injustice.

I am using today’s newsletter to share lots of resources that you may find helpful, both within your family and also regarding the wider world.
The path from feeling helpless, to feeling in control and as if you can contribute positively, comes down (in my opinion) to two words:
Leadership skills.

Recognizing that in our family, we are leaders, is a great first step in overcoming those feelings of helplessness.

I want to start this newsletter off with hugs. (And the request that perhaps you hydrate as you get ready to read… It’s a long one : )

And then, I’d like to ask you to take a deep breath – and consider the role that leadership skills play in creating a happy family, as well as in creating a world that is peaceful, joyful, and supportive of everyone. Continue reading “When a parent’s leadership skills really matter”

333.5: When you feel small, helpless, and afraid, listen to this.

(FYI: about 10 or so minutes in, I use the word “jackass” once or twice… it’s not enough for an E-rating, but I want you to be aware just in case you want to listen away from sensitive ears.)

Hi Friends,

I had planned for, and drafted, a very different kind of post today for you (I got about a dozen spider bites while sleeping Saturday night, and we’ve got a very large ant invasion going on in our kitchen; my abandoned draft was largely about these.)

But as I wrote I realized how truly small and insignificant these concerns of mine are.

There is a lot going on in the world, and a lot going on in the news.

And I wanted to start the week off with a simpler message.

I wasn’t sure what that message would be, except somehow I wanted to transcend the fear, the worry, and the struggles that we are seeing in the news, and even in our own homes.

My family and I just finished virtually attending the closing ceremonies for the year at my son’s school, and the Executive Director George Popham teared up saying the following:

“If there’s one important thing we should be doing, it is to put good, kind people in the world.”

Immediately I knew that that was the message I wanted to share. Continue reading “333.5: When you feel small, helpless, and afraid, listen to this.”