365: “What DOES matter to me?” Talking with Shari Medini of Adore Them Parenting today!

“Is this something that I care about, or is this something that someone else thinks I should care about?” – Shari Medini
That’s what I almost called today’s episode (but used another excellent quote from today’s guest for brevity’s sake : )
If you want a conversation about handling all the stuff that is flying at you…
If you want to feel better about the choices that you have that maybe you didn’t even realize…
You will love this talk with Shari Medini, one half of the duo at Adore Them Parenting! Shari and her cofounder Karissa Tunis have written a great book, Parenting While Working from Home, and offer their help and support to parents from their website.
They brought me into their virtual summit this winter – you can hear the audio from my presentation at the end of today’s episode in fact, presenting on a subject that is near and dear to my heart!

I know you’re going to love our conversation!
Video of my conversation with Shari and my presentation for the Adore Them Summit: https://weturnedoutokay.com/365

Cheers! And thank you for listening!

PS I have an invitation for you: if you haven’t already, get to know me a little better by signing up for my weekly newsletter.

It’s free, and I promise to hold your email address – and thus your heart – in both my hands…
The newsletter is where I share my best essays, stories, and tools. Because it’s more personal, it’s even better than the podcast! Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to sign up : )

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363: “ I wasn’t bad inside. But bad kids rarely are.” Talking with WAPO Parent Columnist Meghan Leahey

So be sure to listen away from sensitive ears : )

My guest, Washington Post Parent Columnist Meghan Leahey, recorded this conversation with me back in February… and it feels even more relevant now, than when we recorded.

This episode will help you:
– Put important stuff in perspective
– Lay to rest a childhood demon or two
– Appreciate the absurdity inherent in our lives right now

Watch our conversation by going to https://weturnedoutokay.com/363
Key links just below.
Cheers! And thank you so much for listening!

Key Links
Connect with Meghan – and get her book, Parenting Outside the Lines! – at MLparentcoach.com

Today, the Parent Encouragement Program comes up because Meghan use to be part of that program! Check it out at https://pepparent.org/

My conversation with Katherine Reynolds Lewis (another Parent Encouragement Program alum) comes up today… Listen by going to https://weturnedoutokay.com/351

The We Turned Out Okay Playbook, my subscription-only, quality monthly playbook for parents, has gone digital! You can now get this essential tool for parental well-being either in your physical snail mailbox, or digitally!
Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/playbook for details, and to subscribe.

Listen to this conversation as well as the 360-plus-episode back catalog of We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
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Is it okay to put down the fear we have all been carrying for so long?

The question “what’s next” has come up frequently for me recently. (So much so that I did a whole podcast episode about it : )

I’ve been thinking a lot on how easy it is to worry, when we think about what’s next. There’s a lot that we don’t know!
Is it okay to send kids to summer camp this year?
Is it okay to hug people that we love, but who don’t happen to be part of our household?
Is it okay to put down the fear we have all been carrying for so, so long?

I’ve done some deep thinking, and deep inner work on the idea of “what’s next.”
I put on my thinking cap!
Today I want to share with you the result: 3 tenets that I am utilizing this spring to stay on the positive side of “what’s next.”

Three objectives, three throughlines, three ways I am thinking about how to be in the world.

Here they are: Continue reading “Is it okay to put down the fear we have all been carrying for so long?”

360: “This is all a massive unplanned adventure”… Handling life’s challenges, with Julie Lythcott-Haims

Greetings! I’ve got an awesome conversation for you to listen to, with my guest Julie Lythcott-Haims! Just one thing before we get started, it’s for grown-ups and we do swear – please be sure to listen away from sensitive ears.
At the end of this episode I share: the message I take from our talk, and Julie, is one of hope. Enjoy!!

Listen to this conversation as well as the 350+ episode back catalog of We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts


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This is Julie! Pick up her new book here, and see what she’s all about at her website by clicking here.

Watch our conversation just below (and watch for, toward the end, where we make it look like Julie is handing her new book from where she is in California to me over in Massachusetts via zoom! I don’t know why I find this extremely silly game so much fun but I’m endlessly grateful that Julie would play along with my frivolity : )

For this episode my guest, Julie Lythcott-Haims, wanted to be sure to let you all know: “this is not a show about parenting!”
This one’s about us, the grown-ups.
Our lives, our choices, our challenges.
Julie was Dean of Freshman at Stanford University for a decade, and in that time she helped the young adults who arrived at college become true grown-ups. She also learned a lot!
In truth, Julie has learned a lot over her whole life. She is the New York Times best-selling author of How to Raise an Adult and one of my all-time favorite books ever, Real American (which chronicles her experience growing up Black and biracial in affluent circumstances – and a white community – in the United States.)
Julie’s latest book, Your Turn: How to Be an Adult shares lots of her own stories as well as the stories of many other people, their challenges, and how they handled them. It’s storytelling plus self-help with a beautiful result!
Put it this way: I’ve been an adult for a lot of years and I learned so much from this beautiful book.
I am OVER the MOON to bring you this awesome woman’s ideas on how to handle the challenges that life sends your way.
Join us for a fast-moving, fun, and educational conversation [with swears! Be sure to listen away from littles, or other sensitive ears.]
There are all kinds of links just below, including to Julie’s books, the two upcoming free virtual summits I’m speaking in… and info on how you can be invited to my birthday party, coming up on April 19th! Continue reading “360: “This is all a massive unplanned adventure”… Handling life’s challenges, with Julie Lythcott-Haims”

The pandemic impact on kids’ physical health

Kids are still kids, even in a pandemic. That is both wonderful, and terrifying. Let me help you get your child’s behavior under control so it can be wonderful and not terrifying 🙂

I am excited to share this fourth letter in my series on “repercussions the pandemic is having on children.”

First, we looked at social development (click here to read that one.)
Then we talked about emotional development (click here to read that one).
Last week we considered mental health – click here for that newsletter –
and finally today will discuss physical health, the challenges the pandemic has brought in this area, and some ideas for how you can get good physical health into your child’s life!

(BTW these free newsletters will continue, with lots of ideas on other relevant topics if you are a parent, so stay tuned!)

Today we’re talking about physical health.

When I think of physical health I inevitably think of the old adage “use it or lose it.”

Years ago when I first developed the tendon problems that have been with me for nearly a decade now, I began to truly understand the relationship between tendons, bones, and muscles.

One of the first things my physical therapist did was to get the inflammation out of the tendons. (For me that meant massaging out scar tissue, which was super painful, but ultimately so worth it. After eight months of being unable to walk more than a few steps due to tremendous pain, suddenly my muscles and tendons were healing. Within a very few months they were bearing the weight of my body, for the first time in nearly a year.)

I had spent all that time not using my leg muscles and as a result they atrophied.
Like, a lot.
As in, muscles on your leg – for example, shin muscles – that have a convex appearance (they round outward)… In me those muscles were concave.
I needed to push my leg to go backwards, when we began doing “water physical therapy.” My hamstring literally couldn’t pull my leg backwards!

Use it or lose it.

In the pandemic, this phrase is meaningful because it’s helped me remember a hierarchy of physical needs, for myself and my kids:
Continue reading “The pandemic impact on kids’ physical health”

Supporting children’s mental health right now

Tapping into my child development expertise, this is the third in a series on the repercussions of the pandemic on children…

A few weeks ago we looked at social development (click here to read that one.) Last week we talked about emotional development (click here to read that one). We’ll round out the series next week looking at physical health, so stay tuned!

If you’ve got any friends who might find the series relevant, you can invite them to sign up for these free weekly newsletters at the following link: https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly…

I would feel so honored if you shared. Because it means that not only are you getting a lot out of what I teach, but you know that someone else will too. Let’s spread this important information far and wide!

Today we’re talking about mental health.

My youngest is not getting his usual enjoyment out of skiing, this year, in Covid.

No hangout time in the lodge. No going up in the lift with buddies. (Not even seeing buddies almost at all.)

In all the unhappiness his boots have started to hurt him. Poor guy! There’s nothing worse than skiing with boots that hurt.

But curiously, the boots only hurt when Jay is not actually skiing.

When he’s on the snow headed down the mountain, with the fresh air all around him and a song in his heart, his feet do not hurt.

This is so telling.

Continue reading “Supporting children’s mental health right now”

358: Handling tantrums – especially when we parents say “no”

Greetings! Today I get to share a powerful conversation with Chloee, my one to one coaching client. Chloee has a toddler and the challenges she faces in caring for her daughter are likely concerns that you also have, regardless of the age of your children.

Here’s what you’ll learn by listening:
– How to address the challenges that Covid brings
– How to make a crucial choice, one that we all must make every day
– How to deal with temper tantrums, especially when we must say “no” to our kids

I encourage you to be coached while you listen.
By that I mean: when I ask Chloee a question, hit pause.
Consider the question for yourself and your situation.
Even, write down your responses. Continue reading “358: Handling tantrums – especially when we parents say “no””

Information overload: a huge danger for parents

In conversation with a one to one coaching client of mine – her name is Chloee, and you can meet her by listening to our conversation in this podcast episode – I began to realize one huge challenge parents are facing right now:

Information overload.

When Chloee and I first started working together last year, she told me how incredibly overwhelmed she was at the volume of information available for free.

This course, that article, this list of tips, that webinar.

She could not decide what to pay attention to, because of the noise all this created for her.

And yet, Chloee still had significant challenges she faced.

Somehow they needed to be addressed. But she wasn’t sure how, or what to do.

She worried about her two-year-old daughter’s development.
Confined to a small apartment for weeks and months at a time.
What should her daughter the doing?
What should she be eating?
Was she developing okay, or were there problems that Chloee was missing?
Perhaps biggest of all, how long would this go on?
What if it went on so long that it fundamentally damaged Chloe’s beautiful girl?

Overwhelmed by resources, Chloee couldn’t find an answer. Continue reading “Information overload: a huge danger for parents”

356: The consequences of pushing ourselves too far – Talking with educator Sarah Scheldt M.Ed. today!

Due to the content of our conversation, today’s episode is going to be a good one to listen AWAY from sensitive ears… I think you’re going to love today’s conversation, I know I did! But some topics may be a little intense for, well, littles.

Greetings! I am super excited to bring today’s guest to you, educator and parent coach Sarah Scheldt, M.Ed.!
In today’s conversation I’ll introduce you to Sarah, so you can come to know her and the incredibly helpful, giving person she is.

Today Sarah discusses:
– How to handle your kids’ toughest days and biggest feelings
– How to take care of yourself in the midst of everything going on in your life
– Handling when we do push ourselves too far

Early on in the pandemic Sarah wanted to reach parents outside of her classroom of kids. So she created an amazing free Virtual Summit on “empowering kids.” I felt so honored to be included in the expert speakers for that summit!
Sarah’s second free online series, Kids’ Healthy Bodies, starts on February 15!
(Yay! Click here to sign up!)

In our conversation today Sarah shares on how this upcoming free Virtual Summit will help you get a handle on talking to kids about potentially tough topics like their own bodies, sex, consent, and stopping child sexual abuse.

I’m honored to be a part of this series as well, talking about what to do if you have been the victim of sexual abuse… and you are now raising kids. Continue reading “356: The consequences of pushing ourselves too far – Talking with educator Sarah Scheldt M.Ed. today!”

Nothing but flowers

I’ve had an old Talking Heads song in my head for the last little while.

It’s called (Nothing but) Flowers, and it is truly speaking to my pandemic experience right now.

It’s not a perfect correlation. But this song tells of a future in which everything’s changed.
“This was a Pizza Hut
Now it’s all covered with daisies…

I miss the honky tonks,
Dairy Queens, and 7-Elevens…”

The song doesn’t tell us why the Pizza Hut is all covered with daisies, or where the Dairy Queens and 7-Elevens went.
It seems as if the singer doesn’t really know himself:

“And as things fell apart
Nobody paid much attention…”

But he’s missing things that used to be so common and now are just gone:

Continue reading “Nothing but flowers”