An update on my health (I was in the hospital last week)

First of all I need to say thank you to so many of you, who have sent me virtual hugs and well wishes since I was in the hospital last week.

I’ve seen them, and I intend to write back to each and every one of you… But for now I hope you’ll settle for a “group” update.

I am slowly healing – really, that’s the update here.

And as I do I am putting on my observer hat, trying to understand what makes me feel better, and what makes me feel worse.

What makes me feel worse:
– Pushing myself too far
– Not taking pain medication
– Worrying
– Feeling guilty for all the things I am not doing for my family
– Feeling like a burden

What makes me feel better:
– Asking for help Continue reading “An update on my health (I was in the hospital last week)”

349: Kindergarten Evals, Parent-Teacher-Conferences, and Lessons I learned from being hospitalized last week

As a child development expert one of the most important jobs I have is to give parents permission to disagree with teachers or other authority figures in their children’s lives.
Starting at around the 50-minute mark we talk about that. It’s coming up for many podcast listeners and Ninja Parents right now, and it’s important to discuss!

But first, I share three super important lessons that I learned the hard way recently, by ending up in the hospital with diverticulitis. It’s the illness I had nine years ago that brought on the tendon condition that I lived with ever since, so there was some serious PTSD in getting it again!
It was no accident that I got it now, in the pandemic with pressure mounting societally, in our home, and with the families I serve.

I got it by failing to adhere to these lessons, which I will list for you right now:

1. On the Human-Dehumanized Axis, stay close to the Human side.
Maybe it means unplugging, but it definitely means connecting more on a human level.
Be sure that, when connecting with folks having to do with your child, that they are very human too.

2. Remember that sugar is an inflammatory food.
What we need is good nutrition! I’m a living example of what happens when you don’t get that.

3. Understand your own worth.
How you think about yourself matters. I forgot that, and had to undergo a very painful and scary illness as a result.

Most of all, in thinking about these three lessons I want you to think about where you are “coming from” with regard to them.
This isn’t about me telling you “here’s a list of stuff you need to do.”
It’s about coming from a place of human connection.
It’s about coming from a place of good nutrition, most of the time, without worry or pressure.
It’s about coming from a place of feeling worthy – both for ourselves, and for what we model for our children.

Here are the links that come up in today’s conversation:

I am a featured speaker in the  Virtual Summit, which you can enjoy for free by clicking here:
https://www.sarahscheldt.com/empoweryourparentingonlineseries

Click here for episode 279, my conversation with picky eating coach Jacky Lemenzo

For the first time since creating the We Turned Out Okay Playbook, as a result of my hospitalization I’m doing it myself (instead of just writing it for others)!
Click https://weturnedoutokay.com/playbook to learn more about the Playbook!

Click here for episode 270, my conversation with creative coach Dan Blank.

Thank you for being along on this journey with me! You rock!
Cheers! And thanks for listening/reading to this, episode 349, which you can view on the web by going to:
weturnedoutokay.com/349

Karen
Karen Lock Kolp, M.Ed.
Creator and Founder of https://weturnedoutokay.com

Listen to the podcast in your favorite podcatcher!

Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-we-turned-out-okay-podcast/id990826225?amp%3Bat=&amp%3Bct=&amp%3Buo=6&mt=2

Spotify: https://www.spotify.com/us/ (Search “We Turned Out Okay Podcast”)

Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/the-we-turned-out-okay-podcast

348: How to be the parent your kids need right now

I’m so excited to bring you returning champions Evie Granville and Sarah Davis of Modern Manners for Moms and Dads today!

You’ll learn why the kind of parent that we are matters, especially right now… and you’ll hear how these two wonderful educators take my very cynical Roundtable question and turn it around. You’ll also hear their awesome Roundtable questions for us all to discuss – one pertains to the election, and so I felt I had to publish this episode today, so you’ve got a couple weeks to listen!

Evie and Sarah brought me onto their show in early March 2020, just before the pandemic changed everything. If you listen to that episode, you’ll notice that I identify myself as one kind of parent (what Evie and Sarah would now call a Crescent-style parent)… When I bring them onto my show in episode 340, just a few months later – but after our world has completely changed – my parenting style has completely changed too. I’ve become a Constellation-style parent. For all the wrong reasons!

In the interview portion of today’s episode, I share about my current parenting style, a perfect split between Crescent and Constellation, and how I’ve made my peace with that.

We also talk about their new book! It’s called Modern Manners for Moms and Dads, and you can download the first chapter for free by clicking here: http://evieandsarah.com/book!

Did you notice, I referred to the “interview portion” of today’s episode?

That’s because as I have moved into publishing every other week, it’s opened up really interesting and cool opportunities for making the show just a little different.

We still talk about the same important things. It’s still all about helping you feel cared for, no matter what your circumstances are. Continue reading “348: How to be the parent your kids need right now”

Socks and medicine and fear and love

This image has nothing to do with today’s post, but I wanted it here to remind me of who I am coming from love for (if that makes any sense.) It’s these kids that we love. That’s who we need to remember, if we’re struggling to come from love for ourselves.

As the weather has begun changing here in New England, it’s time to transfer out of my summertime ankle-high socks and into something that keeps my legs considerably warmer.

I know that I’m making a good transition from season to season when I can feel enthusiastic about the socks I’m going into, even as I miss the socks I’m coming out of.

For years I’ve gotten these great wool socks from (of all places) Ocean State Job Lot. These socks are heaven on my feet, they are more than 80% merino wool, they stay warm when they get wet, and they just feel so good to wear. Bonus, they are like eight dollars for two pair – similar socks in Amazon are four times that.

So, an amazing deal all around!

For me, autumn is a time of celebration, where we are headed into the part of the year that feels best to me. I’m in survival mode spring and summer, just not a warm weather person.

So I do really celebrate when it’s time to put on these awesome socks!

Stay with me, I’ll come back to the socks in a moment…

As the pandemic has progressed I’ve noticed I’m getting more and more migraines.

I’ve always been prone to migraines but in the last three or four months I have experienced more of these debilitating headaches than I have for the past 13 years.

(Not coincidentally, 13 years ago is when I took control of my oldest’s education. He had been experiencing night terrors, weight loss, and other scary symptoms because the academic pressure of first grade was making him sick. As he got better, so did my migraines. As I say, not a coincidence.)

As I write about the last time I was having many migraines, I see a lot of similarities between now and then… In the pandemic so much is out of my control. So much feels out of control in any case!

No wonder I’m getting these headaches.

Fortunately, there is medicine that really helps.

The one catch with the medicine is that it works best when I take it at the very first onset of symptoms. Continue reading “Socks and medicine and fear and love”

347 Part 1: Five ways societies fail… or succeed


Greetings! If this feels like a pretty ambitiously named episode, well, that’s because this is where we are in fall 2020.
We are on the bleeding edge of crisis parenting, and there is a feeling in the air of “this is where our society fails or succeeds.”
(At least that’s how it feels to me! You are very welcome to disagree. Either way, I hope this episode gives you a roadmap to success on your parenting journey, and some hope.)

Whether a society succeeds or fails is in large part dependent upon the how that society raises its children.

In this episode I offer five ways to think about this idea: Continue reading “347 Part 1: Five ways societies fail… or succeed”

A reformed non-fan of poetry shares how poetry can be a force for good

Hi Friends!

The links worth clicking are sprinkled all throughout today’s letter… And I guess in a way so is the poetry : )

Just quickly, I’m excited to share that I am in not one but two positive, important, and exciting virtual summits!

Click here for the Reigniting Toddler Play Summit, taking place 9/28-10/2/20, where I am talking about “how to keep going while raising little kids”

Click here for the Emergency Home Learning Summit, where I am talking about “how kids’ independent play makes family life better”

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Over the summer I heard, and took, an outstanding piece of advice from podcaster and creative coach Mark McGuinness: “Read some poetry.”

Mark is himself a poet, and it’s clear that poetry has been a huge force for good in his life.

But other than music, which is really poetry at its heart, I’ve never connected with poetry before.

And here at home I’ve had a book that was given to me more than five years ago, The Names of Birds, by Daniel Wolff.
(He was one of my first guests on the We Turned Out Okay Podcast, and our conversation does get a bit into poetry! We also talk a lot about education, history, and what it all means for your family. Click here to listen.) Continue reading “A reformed non-fan of poetry shares how poetry can be a force for good”

346: A Key Mindset Tool for Crisis Parenting

If there was ever a time to call what we are all doing “crisis parenting,” now is it.
In this episode, I bring you a critical tool to help you keep going!

I also share about why I called this show “We Turned Out Okay, The Modern Parent’s Guide to Old-School Parenting.”
A mom in the WTOO Facebook group asked that question, and this Basics Bootcamp episode seemed like the perfect time to talk about that!

Also today, I have three things to invite you into!
In chronological order: Continue reading “346: A Key Mindset Tool for Crisis Parenting”

345: How to feel in control with Mom, Author, and School Counselor Phyllis Fagell, LCPC

 

I’m so excited to bring you today’s guest, Phyllis Fagell, LCPC, mom, school counselor, and author of the wonderful book Middle School Matters.

Phyllis helps us (yes – I include myself in here : )
– Pick our battles
– Talk with teachers and caregivers
– Figure out what we CAN do

In short Phyllis helps us feel in control of our family’s direction right now.
That’s SO important, given this extremely shaky start to the school year and our worries about the pandemic, downright silly politics, and the need for racial and social justice.
Not to mention our own need to pour from a full cup and not an empty one.

Given all that, I know you are going to LOVE our conversation!
You can find Phyllis, and all the wonderful work she does, by going to PhyllisFagell.com <3

Links that come up in today’s episode:

Because we’ve gone to and every-other-week schedule, in each episode I offer a back episode of We Turned Out Okay, something you can listen to in our off week!

Today, I bring you my first conversation with Raeshal Solomon, from episode 215. Raeshal single-handedly got herself out from under a mountain of debt, while living with a serious chronic illness. She’s a money expert, but more than that she is an expert in keeping going! I know you are going to love this conversation.
(Raeshal was also a part of OkayCon 2020, my Free Virtual Summit from this past March, right at the beginning of the pandemic. Click weturnedoutokay.com/328 for Raeshal’s wonderful contribution to OkayCon 2020.)

I’m excited to share, I will be part of the Reignite Toddler Play global virtual summit coming up at the end of this month! I don’t have the link yet, but as soon as I do I will drop it in here. Holly Peretz, the creator of the Virtual Summit interviewed me this past week and I just know you’re going to love this conference!

I’m spending September offering you HOPE…
– Click here to watch the first module of my premium “How to Keep Going” course, absolutely free, right there on the page.

– On that page you can also sign up to get the ENTIRE “How to Keep Going course, completely free! (You can also do that by clicking here.)

– “A life raft for families who are struggling to stay afloat.” That’s what Janine Halloran, LMHC, author of Coping Skills for Kids and Coping Skills for Teens recently said about my We Turned Out Okay Playbook. That is high praise indeed! Check out the Playbook for yourself by going to weturnedoutokay.com/playbook. You can subscribe for the October issue on that page, too!

In this post, called “A case study about handling epic tantrums,” I share the tools and strategies that a mom in our Ninja Parenting Community successfully employed to stop her four-year-old’s extremely epic tantrums.
If she can do it, so can you! Click here to learn how you can work with me, for free, for a whole month.

– Bruce Feiler’s wonderful book, Life is in the Transitions, comes up in our conversation today.

Click here to say hi in Instagram!… In Twitter… On the WTOO Facebook page… Or in the WTOO Facebook Group!

One thing I cannot live without

Hi Friends,

I’ve been working on the We Turned Out Okay Playbook now for many months, and Issue 1/August 2020 is finally out! [Enrollment for Issue 1 wraps up on 8/1/2020… Enrollment for Issue 2/September 2020 begins mid-August : ]
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/playbook for more information and to subscribe…
Also, there is a music component to the Playbook that I describe more in depth in today’s newsletter. So read on for that : )
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This is the latest in my summer-long series, taking you on my journey of recovering from overwhelm and burnout and learning ways to sustainably keep going. Click here for the first installment, “Feeling guilty,” and click here for last week’s update, “What is in our control?”

This week, music is on my mind. Continue reading “One thing I cannot live without”