356: The consequences of pushing ourselves too far – Talking with educator Sarah Scheldt M.Ed. today!

Due to the content of our conversation, today’s episode is going to be a good one to listen AWAY from sensitive ears… I think you’re going to love today’s conversation, I know I did! But some topics may be a little intense for, well, littles.

Greetings! I am super excited to bring today’s guest to you, educator and parent coach Sarah Scheldt, M.Ed.!
In today’s conversation I’ll introduce you to Sarah, so you can come to know her and the incredibly helpful, giving person she is.

Today Sarah discusses:
– How to handle your kids’ toughest days and biggest feelings
– How to take care of yourself in the midst of everything going on in your life
– Handling when we do push ourselves too far

Early on in the pandemic Sarah wanted to reach parents outside of her classroom of kids. So she created an amazing free Virtual Summit on “empowering kids.” I felt so honored to be included in the expert speakers for that summit!
Sarah’s second free online series, Kids’ Healthy Bodies, starts on February 15!
(Yay! Click here to sign up!)

In our conversation today Sarah shares on how this upcoming free Virtual Summit will help you get a handle on talking to kids about potentially tough topics like their own bodies, sex, consent, and stopping child sexual abuse.

I’m honored to be a part of this series as well, talking about what to do if you have been the victim of sexual abuse… and you are now raising kids. Continue reading “356: The consequences of pushing ourselves too far – Talking with educator Sarah Scheldt M.Ed. today!”

Nothing but flowers

I’ve had an old Talking Heads song in my head for the last little while.

It’s called (Nothing but) Flowers, and it is truly speaking to my pandemic experience right now.

It’s not a perfect correlation. But this song tells of a future in which everything’s changed.
“This was a Pizza Hut
Now it’s all covered with daisies…

I miss the honky tonks,
Dairy Queens, and 7-Elevens…”

The song doesn’t tell us why the Pizza Hut is all covered with daisies, or where the Dairy Queens and 7-Elevens went.
It seems as if the singer doesn’t really know himself:

“And as things fell apart
Nobody paid much attention…”

But he’s missing things that used to be so common and now are just gone:

Continue reading “Nothing but flowers”

355: Five ways to help you keep going right now

Greetings! Today I’ve got five ways that parents I work closely with are keeping going…

Because even though we can see some hope on the horizon, circumstances on the ground are, shall we say, not ideal.

So if you need a little help getting good behavior from your kids, feeling seen and heard and cared for in your life, or feeling happy inside, here are five ways you may not have considered yet to accomplish those tasks.…

Plus the Parenting News Segment returns today, with reports on how to not use social-emotional learning for evil, and also something called “toxic positivity.”
Join us!
Here are the links that come up today: Continue reading “355: Five ways to help you keep going right now”

354: Goals and Words and a “kind 2021”

Greetings and best wishes for 2021!! This is my annual goals and sharing of the Word of the Year. (Last year’s: ENOUGH. I apparently was really prescient in January 2020… This year’s: EXHILARATED. Should be fun!)
As with everything in the pandemic, it’s different from other New Year’s episodes that have come before. But I hope it’s helpful for you as you create a good life, and a good year, for your family and yourself.

Some of my goals last year I completely, epically failed at bringing about.
Some of them I did a little bit better with.

One of the most important things I learned was to make a goal be “a place to come from,” rather than something to work towards. Seriously, this has been a huge game-changer for me.

I share about that process and give you ideas for trying it out yourself today.

Finally I read you one of my most recent newsletters, “Hello 2021! Please be kind to us.”
You can get these newsletters delivered for free right into your inbox just by signing up for one of my free guides available at weturnedoutokay.com… Or go to weturnedoutokay.com/weekly

Key Links:
Click weturnedoutokay.com/312 for last year, January 2020’s Goals and One Word episode. Listening back I was such a pre-pandemic naïve little baby then! I’ve grown a lot in 2020. I bet you have too. Ultimately this is a good thing, I think. We are such badasses now!

Click here for a book I am loving, 100 Truths You Will Learn Too Late by Luca Dellanna

Click weturnedoutokay.com/books to see the parenting books I have written

Click here for my most recent newsletter, “Hello 2021! Please be kind to us.”

Click weturnedoutokay.com/354 to watch the video of today’s episode.

Cheers! I hope 2021 is REALLY kind to you <3

_______________________________

Get my best advice for handling the challenges that come up on your parenting journey, through the We Turned Out Okay podcast:

Listen in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Stitcher Podcasts

 

Hello 2021! Please be kind to us.

On Tuesday of last week – in other words, the day before the attempted coup on our federal legislature and national election process – I drove around my town to do a few errands.

It was a new year; I had a bunch of books on knitting socks that had just arrived for me at the library; I had the bandwidth and hand strength to knit something as ambitious as a pair of socks.

I had lots of hope for the future.

Driving to our library, I passed the senior center in my town and saw the following words on their sign:
“Hello 2021! Please be kind to us.”

I smiled and drove on, with hope in my heart.

The town I live in has done an absolutely wonderful job in helping its citizens through the pandemic. Continue reading “Hello 2021! Please be kind to us.”

An update on my health (I was in the hospital last week)

First of all I need to say thank you to so many of you, who have sent me virtual hugs and well wishes since I was in the hospital last week.

I’ve seen them, and I intend to write back to each and every one of you… But for now I hope you’ll settle for a “group” update.

I am slowly healing – really, that’s the update here.

And as I do I am putting on my observer hat, trying to understand what makes me feel better, and what makes me feel worse.

What makes me feel worse:
– Pushing myself too far
– Not taking pain medication
– Worrying
– Feeling guilty for all the things I am not doing for my family
– Feeling like a burden

What makes me feel better:
– Asking for help Continue reading “An update on my health (I was in the hospital last week)”

349: Kindergarten Evals, Parent-Teacher-Conferences, and Lessons I learned from being hospitalized last week

As a child development expert one of the most important jobs I have is to give parents permission to disagree with teachers or other authority figures in their children’s lives.
Starting at around the 50-minute mark we talk about that. It’s coming up for many podcast listeners and Ninja Parents right now, and it’s important to discuss!

But first, I share three super important lessons that I learned the hard way recently, by ending up in the hospital with diverticulitis. It’s the illness I had nine years ago that brought on the tendon condition that I lived with ever since, so there was some serious PTSD in getting it again!
It was no accident that I got it now, in the pandemic with pressure mounting societally, in our home, and with the families I serve.

I got it by failing to adhere to these lessons, which I will list for you right now:

1. On the Human-Dehumanized Axis, stay close to the Human side.
Maybe it means unplugging, but it definitely means connecting more on a human level.
Be sure that, when connecting with folks having to do with your child, that they are very human too.

2. Remember that sugar is an inflammatory food.
What we need is good nutrition! I’m a living example of what happens when you don’t get that.

3. Understand your own worth.
How you think about yourself matters. I forgot that, and had to undergo a very painful and scary illness as a result.

Most of all, in thinking about these three lessons I want you to think about where you are “coming from” with regard to them.
This isn’t about me telling you “here’s a list of stuff you need to do.”
It’s about coming from a place of human connection.
It’s about coming from a place of good nutrition, most of the time, without worry or pressure.
It’s about coming from a place of feeling worthy – both for ourselves, and for what we model for our children.

Here are the links that come up in today’s conversation:

I am a featured speaker in the  Virtual Summit, which you can enjoy for free by clicking here:
https://www.sarahscheldt.com/empoweryourparentingonlineseries

Click here for episode 279, my conversation with picky eating coach Jacky Lemenzo

For the first time since creating the We Turned Out Okay Playbook, as a result of my hospitalization I’m doing it myself (instead of just writing it for others)!
Click https://weturnedoutokay.com/playbook to learn more about the Playbook!

Click here for episode 270, my conversation with creative coach Dan Blank.

Thank you for being along on this journey with me! You rock!
Cheers! And thanks for listening/reading to this, episode 349, which you can view on the web by going to:
weturnedoutokay.com/349

Karen
Karen Lock Kolp, M.Ed.
Creator and Founder of https://weturnedoutokay.com

Listen to the podcast in your favorite podcatcher!

Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-we-turned-out-okay-podcast/id990826225?amp%3Bat=&amp%3Bct=&amp%3Buo=6&mt=2

Spotify: https://www.spotify.com/us/ (Search “We Turned Out Okay Podcast”)

Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/the-we-turned-out-okay-podcast

348: How to be the parent your kids need right now

I’m so excited to bring you returning champions Evie Granville and Sarah Davis of Modern Manners for Moms and Dads today!

You’ll learn why the kind of parent that we are matters, especially right now… and you’ll hear how these two wonderful educators take my very cynical Roundtable question and turn it around. You’ll also hear their awesome Roundtable questions for us all to discuss – one pertains to the election, and so I felt I had to publish this episode today, so you’ve got a couple weeks to listen!

Evie and Sarah brought me onto their show in early March 2020, just before the pandemic changed everything. If you listen to that episode, you’ll notice that I identify myself as one kind of parent (what Evie and Sarah would now call a Crescent-style parent)… When I bring them onto my show in episode 340, just a few months later – but after our world has completely changed – my parenting style has completely changed too. I’ve become a Constellation-style parent. For all the wrong reasons!

In the interview portion of today’s episode, I share about my current parenting style, a perfect split between Crescent and Constellation, and how I’ve made my peace with that.

We also talk about their new book! It’s called Modern Manners for Moms and Dads, and you can download the first chapter for free by clicking here: http://evieandsarah.com/book!

Did you notice, I referred to the “interview portion” of today’s episode?

That’s because as I have moved into publishing every other week, it’s opened up really interesting and cool opportunities for making the show just a little different.

We still talk about the same important things. It’s still all about helping you feel cared for, no matter what your circumstances are. Continue reading “348: How to be the parent your kids need right now”

Socks and medicine and fear and love

This image has nothing to do with today’s post, but I wanted it here to remind me of who I am coming from love for (if that makes any sense.) It’s these kids that we love. That’s who we need to remember, if we’re struggling to come from love for ourselves.

As the weather has begun changing here in New England, it’s time to transfer out of my summertime ankle-high socks and into something that keeps my legs considerably warmer.

I know that I’m making a good transition from season to season when I can feel enthusiastic about the socks I’m going into, even as I miss the socks I’m coming out of.

For years I’ve gotten these great wool socks from (of all places) Ocean State Job Lot. These socks are heaven on my feet, they are more than 80% merino wool, they stay warm when they get wet, and they just feel so good to wear. Bonus, they are like eight dollars for two pair – similar socks in Amazon are four times that.

So, an amazing deal all around!

For me, autumn is a time of celebration, where we are headed into the part of the year that feels best to me. I’m in survival mode spring and summer, just not a warm weather person.

So I do really celebrate when it’s time to put on these awesome socks!

Stay with me, I’ll come back to the socks in a moment…

As the pandemic has progressed I’ve noticed I’m getting more and more migraines.

I’ve always been prone to migraines but in the last three or four months I have experienced more of these debilitating headaches than I have for the past 13 years.

(Not coincidentally, 13 years ago is when I took control of my oldest’s education. He had been experiencing night terrors, weight loss, and other scary symptoms because the academic pressure of first grade was making him sick. As he got better, so did my migraines. As I say, not a coincidence.)

As I write about the last time I was having many migraines, I see a lot of similarities between now and then… In the pandemic so much is out of my control. So much feels out of control in any case!

No wonder I’m getting these headaches.

Fortunately, there is medicine that really helps.

The one catch with the medicine is that it works best when I take it at the very first onset of symptoms. Continue reading “Socks and medicine and fear and love”

347 Part 1: Five ways societies fail… or succeed


Greetings! If this feels like a pretty ambitiously named episode, well, that’s because this is where we are in fall 2020.
We are on the bleeding edge of crisis parenting, and there is a feeling in the air of “this is where our society fails or succeeds.”
(At least that’s how it feels to me! You are very welcome to disagree. Either way, I hope this episode gives you a roadmap to success on your parenting journey, and some hope.)

Whether a society succeeds or fails is in large part dependent upon the how that society raises its children.

In this episode I offer five ways to think about this idea: Continue reading “347 Part 1: Five ways societies fail… or succeed”