What direction is your family going in?

I didn’t feel like I had control over the direction our family was going in.”
– Jen, NPC member and Mom of two

When longtime NPC member Jen came on the podcast in spring 2019, I asked her the question “what do you like best about being in the Ninja Parenting Community?”

I thought Jen would say “I love the courses,” or “I get so much out of private parent coaching calls with you Karen,” or even “I love that your parenting e-books are included in membership!”

I thought Jen would share about some individual aspect of the community, some tangible piece that she found helpful.

Instead, her response showed me: it’s not just the courses, or the e-books.
It’s not just the private coaching calls.

The Ninja Parenting Community gives parents the ability to take control of the direction their family is going in.

That is SUCH a big deal!

Imagine having that kind of control.

Imagine knowing how to use positive discipline to get your child to:
– Stop writing on walls
– Speak to you respectfully
– Work out arguments with siblings (instead of screaming or lashing out physically)

Imagine knowing how to overcome issues with school or day care.

Imagine successful potty training.

Imagine knowing how to treat yourself with compassion, how to forgive yourself when you slip up.

These are all hallmarks of a family that is going in the right direction.

And, these are all the things that I work on every day with ninja parents.

If you’re struggling with the direction your family’s going, I hope you’ll join the community that helps parents truly enjoy family time.

Click here to join the Ninja Parenting Community today!

Let’s get you the control over the direction your family is going!
Cheers,
Karen
The quote I live by: “The opposite of play is not work. It is depression.” – Brian Sutton-Smith

Valentine’s Day with kiddos

Valentine’s Day is a bit different when you have little ones running around, isn’t it?

In my dating years I was never a fan of Valentine’s Day. I was much more likely to band together with a gang of college buddies and listen to a lot of Melissa Etheridge…

Until I met Ben (the 22-time winner of the Husband of the Year award – that’s how you’ll know him if you listen to my show.)

The first Valentine’s Day we were dating, I was offered a housesitting job in a sweet, tiny little hill town in western Massachusetts.

Mostly, I was dog sitting, for this great big dog named Susie. Before the owners left they told me “we’re expecting snow, so feel free to crank up the wood stove, use the snowshoes in the mudroom, and if you’re dating somebody they are totally welcome too!”

The expected snow turned into a massive blizzard – and somehow, Ben found his way through it, driving all the way from Boston, scraping snow off street signs in the tiny little hill town, and ultimately finding the house’s dirt road by almost sheer luck.

And we had the most romantic, fun, and memorable Valentine’s Day!

Fast forwarding a few years and two kids, it got a little harder to cultivate that same sense of romance.

But we enjoyed the heck out of our Valentine’s Days with little kiddos, and I wanted to share some of what we did, so that you can enjoy your Valentine’s Day, with your family!

1. Make it as un-commercial as possible.
Try to get yourself back to the basic elements of fun time with family: the coziness of spending time together, snuggled up and reading books on the couch in pajamas. Or bundling up and spending time outside together, in a snowball fight or snow fort building, or just a walk to a favorite place in nature (if you don’t have any snow).

2. Bake something together.
Heart-shaped pretzels, banana bread, sugar cookies, or something else that feels a little celebratory.

3. Put the kids to bed early.
One great thing about little kids: they totally can’t tell time! So if 730 is their usual bedtime, back it off by an hour and give yourself some extra grown-up time, whether with your honey, with old friends listening to Melissa Etheridge, or cozy and quiet time with yourself.

I wanted to get you thinking about Valentine’s Day a little early, so you’ve got a chance to plan.
Because if you don’t plan, oftentimes a special day feels rushed, or is gone before you know it.

Also! This coming week I have a Valentine’s Day gift for you!
I will share details in the midweek newsletter. I am very excited about it and I bet you will be too : )

Wishing you a great weekend!
Cheers,
Karen

PS – Will you be my Valentine? I have a special Valentine’s gift exclusively for newsletter subscribers… You can get newsletters just like this one directly into your inbox, too, and it’s all free… Click here to subscribe!

316: Beliefs create reality. So, what do you believe?

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll down to the very bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!
What we believe influences everything: our thoughts, our interactions, our relationships, and in the end our reality.
But it can be really hard to nail down what we actually believe.
In today’s episode I take you into my beliefs, show you how I figured out what they are, and most importantly help you clarify your own.
It’s a master class in getting the reality that you want most – both as a parent and as a person. I hope you find this episode helpful!

Click weturnedoutokay.com/316 for a cheat sheet on how to define your beliefs, and on the links that come up in today’s episode.

Also – Throughout February, in Instagram, I am posting my beliefs!
Click Instagram.com/weturnedoutokay (or find @weturnedoutokay in the app) to see them!
Thanks for listening!

Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter

Each week I send out a couple parenting newsletters, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos. (In today’s episode I talk about the most recent newsletter, on the role kindness plays in improving my health, as I have lived with a tendon disorder for eight and half years.)
We’re doing a series right now on “Kids gone sideways,” so you can learn what to do when even the basics are a challenge!
Useful stuff.
Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week!

Today’s episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, who has created some great resources to help your child handle it when the going gets tough!
Listen to today’s show to find out how to get 15% off your order, and then
Click copingskillsforkids.com/okay to check out Janine’s Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks.
Continue reading “316: Beliefs create reality. So, what do you believe?”

Kindness and conversation from the perspective of a curmudgeonly Bostonian

I should revise the title… but “formerly” curmudgeonly Bostonian seemed like something of a mouthful 🙂

This Parenting Newsletter is about the value of kindness, and how kindness has changed my life in ways I could never have foreseen.

I started thinking about this thanks to Robin Abrahams, the Boston Globe Magazine columnist (who writes under the alias Miss Conduct, and has been a guest on my show as well).

Recently Robin wrote “How to be kinder in Boston, America’s 5th rudest city,” an article I got a lot out of, and I highly recommend you go and read!

One part especially was compelling to me, about how conversation – simple conversation with the people around us – can make us feel better.

Robin’s essay helped me extend my thinking in a different direction: the importance of being kind to ourselves.

I have a tendon disorder. I’ve lived with it for eight and half years, and it started with my right leg.

I used to tell that leg mean, horrible things.
I would say how much I hated that leg. I would tell it how useless I thought it was.

And much worse.

But what I failed to see was that my poor leg was just doing the best it could!

It was only when I started treating my right leg well, treating it kindly, that I started to feel better.
Continue reading “Kindness and conversation from the perspective of a curmudgeonly Bostonian”

315: Drugging boys, and self-worth – first-ever Parenting News Roundup

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll down to the very bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!
FYI, I’m teaching a Free Online Parenting Class on successful potty training this coming Thursday, January 30! Go to weturnedoutokay.com/successful for details and to register.

Welcome to our first ever Parenting News Roundup!
Over the month of January a theme has developed around here, with the interview and podcast episodes all relating to the idea of self worth.
This month I wanted to focus on parenting news that also had to do with us parents, feeling worthy and in tune with ourselves.
So, what does that have to do with boys, and medication for ADHD? You’ll have to listen to find out : )

Click weturnedoutokay.com/315 for links to everything I talk about today, including the articles featured in today’s Parenting News!

PS This subject is covered far more deeply in the community that I run, NPC.
During January 2020 you can spend your whole first month in the community for just $1! Click here for details.)

Ideas and Tools that Matter as You Raise Your Kids

Each Wednesday I send out a Parenting Newsletter, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos.
I’ve written newsletters on everything from remaining calm when they are throwing dirt at each other, to handling hangry meltdowns and what that has to do with our own self-worth.
Useful stuff.
Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week!

Continue reading “315: Drugging boys, and self-worth – first-ever Parenting News Roundup”

314: Boundaries with Grandparents

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll down to the very bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

I love this picture so much! Here’s hoping this grandma is not of the selfish and controlling sort.

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll down to the very bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

“My dad and stepmom are, simply put, selfish and controlling. They guilt me about not seeing my son more often, and usually want us to drive an hour out to their very not-kid-friendly house. How do I find a line of how often to see/talk to them that works for me and my kid?”
So writes one of our most beloved ninja parents, known in the Ninja Parenting Community forums as Mama Llama.
Maybe her feelings are familiar to you?
In this episode, I outline 5 ways for you to get control of your relationship with your folks (or your in-laws) – on your terms.
Join us!
Cheat sheet of the five ways, plus key links and other good stuff, are located at: weturnedoutokay.com/314

PS This subject is covered far more deeply in the community that I run, NPC.
During January 2020 you can spend your whole first month in the community for just $1! Click here for details.)

Parenting News that Matters as You Raise Your Kids

Each Wednesday I send out a Parenting Newsletter, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos.
I’ve written newsletters on everything from remaining calm when they are throwing dirt at each other, to last week’s, on handling hangry meltdowns and what that has to do with our own self-worth.
Useful stuff.
Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week!

Continue reading “314: Boundaries with Grandparents”

313: The challenges of feeling worthy while raising little kids

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll down to the very bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!
My wellness coach is here for YOU today!

“Linda,” who’s going incognito for our conversation, shares about so much:
– Her own wellness journey
– What it was like for her to raise a child with special needs
– How to get what you want out of life

Hope you enjoy this conversation and find it helpful!

Here is the link to the show notes for this episode : )

PS One place where you can get help with your own challenges while raising little kids is the online community that I run, NPC.
During January 2020 you can spend your whole first month in the community for just $1! Click here for details.)

Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter

Each Wednesday I send out a Parenting Newsletter, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos.
I’ve written newsletters on everything from remaining calm when they are throwing dirt at each other, to what to do when you feel like a failure.
Useful stuff.
Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week!

Key Links

Click here for the VIA Character Institute website. Linda and I have used their Character Strength Tool and talk about it in today’s conversation.

Click here for the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group.

One Word for 2020

Happy Wednesday!

This is the last in my series on “exercises to help you overcome feelings of failure;” click here for last week’s installment, debating between two words for 2020. Or, read on to find out which word I chose : )
____________________________________________

Each year, for the last three years, I’ve chosen a Word of the Year:
2019 = THOUGHTFUL
2018 = PRACTICE
2017 = SERVICE

For weeks, I’ve been trying to decide what 2020’s word would be. Here are my two candidates:

2020 = ENOUGH

I thought of 3 possible ways it could be used. Here is what I wrote about that in last week’s newsletter: Continue reading “One Word for 2020”

How to get what you want out of life | Podcast Episode 312

Happy New Year!! In 2019 I had two goals:
1. To fit into my ski pants
2. To be in control of my food intake

If my ski pants fit, that meant I could go skiing and spend wonderful, exhilarating time with loved ones!
And if I could be in control of my food intake, that meant I wouldn’t inadvertently hijack other goals that I had about health and weight loss.
Today I share about how I met those goals, through a 5-step process that I hope will be helpful as you work to achieve your goals!

Links and other stuff I share in this episode are located at weturnedoutokay.com/312

Join us!

Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter

Each Wednesday I send out a Parenting Newsletter, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos.
We’re doing a series right now on what to do when you feel like a failure, and who among us hasn’t felt like that at some point?
Useful stuff.
Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week!


Cheat sheet of the 5 steps to get what you want out of life:

1. Declare yourself worthy.
This is a tough one! I do it with something that I call “mirror chats.”

2. Decide what you want.
This one feels deceptively easy, but sometimes it can take a while to figure out what we actually want.

3. Decide where you want to be with that goal… By a certain date.

4. Take one small step most days, or weeks.

5. Assess how it’s going once a week.
Also, as part of this, find something to celebrate each week.

My One Word is: ENOUGH
this was such a tough one, I had to choose between two words and the people in my email newsgroup were so helpful as I made my choice! If that was you, thank you so much!
Continue reading “How to get what you want out of life | Podcast Episode 312”

Only one of these two words

I’m doing a year-end series on how to overcome feeling like a failure; click here for last week’s installment, in which I share my Reverse Bucket List – and how it made me remember all the good in my life.
____________________________________________

Each year, for the last three years, I’ve chosen a Word of the Year:
2019 = THOUGHTFUL
2018 = PRACTICE
2017 = SERVICE

I’ve chosen them based on how I wanted to live my life… But they’ve ended up largely being about what I do, as opposed to who I am.
(Yes, even THOUGHTFUL – it’s been all about ways I can be thoughtful, as opposed to how I could be thinking.)

When I read Audrey Monke’s fabulous blog post, “5 Simple Year-End Reflection Activities” (this week’s exercise, and also last week’s, are based on Audrey’s year-end activities), I was excited to read that Audrey chooses a word of the year too!

Audrey’s words are different from mine – not a surprise, as Audrey and I are different people.

But they are fundamentally different in an important way: Audrey’s words are not about what she does.
They are about who she is.

In her version of the exercise, as Audrey puts it, “your one word isn’t a constant reminder of what you “should be doing”. Instead, it stands to inspire how you want to live. Think about who you want to be, and choose a word that will help you become that.”

Her rules:
“Focus on being rather than doing.
Be authentic.
Don’t overthink it.”

As I went through this exercise, one word bubbled up to the surface immediately.
Continue reading “Only one of these two words”