367: Not creativity but…

So, as I’m doing this series on the values that I hold most dear, I’m playing a little game with myself. I’m imagining you, asking yourself “can I guess today’s value?”
All I can say is, if you guess creativity, you are wrong…
But not completely wrong.

Thank you so much for listening! I am glad you’re here <3
Karen

PS I have an invitation for you: if you haven’t already, get to know me a little better by signing up for my weekly newsletter.
It’s free, and I promise to hold your email address – and thus your heart – safely, in both my hands…
Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to sign up : )

This episode’s home-on-the-web: https://weturnedoutokay.com/367

The link to the first episode in this series (this is the second)… https://weturnedoutokay.com/366

Click here for the link to the TED talk that I reference today, called The Birth of a Word.
It is awesome and you’ve got to listen to it!

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Then, friends, it’s a movement

This picture was taken on the day that my children learned that sometimes, there IS “a part of the wedding where they do karate”

In recent weeks I’ve had something of an epiphany, realizing that everything I’m about – seriously, everything – comes down to the value of play.

This epiphany came about at the same time as I realized: I am growing, and changing.

You may not know this about me, but I’m so much more than a parent coach.

Yes, I teach important concepts for parents, like how to handle every temper tantrum (click here for the video to do this – and here for the five step checklist that comes along with the video).
Just last night in my 2021 Year of Empowerment program, I coached a parent on how to handle backtalk from her five-year-old.

These two ideas – that everything I’m about comes down to play, and that I am growing and changing – have collided for me in the form of the creation of a movement.

A movement is a vision of change for the world.
A vision for the future.

My vision is of:
– A kind world, where creativity is encouraged.
– Where every person has meaningful choices about how they spend their time.
– Where every person feels validated, believed in.
– Where rather than pushing down our emotions or our problems, we work together to lift each other up and solve our problems.

The vehicle for this movement? Play. Play, play, play play play.

The title of this email comes from a song.  Continue reading “Then, friends, it’s a movement”

366: A world where you can be anything

I am excited to bring you into this, the first in a five-part series on really important subject – and a fun one too!
But I don’t want to say too much about it. I want you to listen, and see if what you hear resonates.
For this first part though, I do have one question:
What should you be, in a world where you can be anything?

Thank you so much for listening! I am glad you’re here <3
Karen

PS I have an invitation for you: if you haven’t already, get to know me a little better by signing up for my weekly newsletter.
It’s free, and I promise to hold your email address – and thus your heart – safely, in both my hands…
Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to sign up : )

This episode’s home-on-the-web: https://weturnedoutokay.com/366

Listen to We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!

Here are a few choice spots:

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Stitcher Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOStitcher

The S word

There is one word that I despise in the English language almost more than any other word.

I think of it as “the S word.”

The problem with this word is that the person who’s saying it feels good – and the person to whom it is being said often feels bad.

Attending a masterclass earlier in the pandemic, I learned of new scientific research on what lights up different areas of a person’s brain.

When we tell others what we think will be in their best interest, pleasure centers in our brain light up.

In other words when we are giving advice, that’s when the pleasure centers in our brain light up.

If that advice has been solicited – in other words, if the person on the receiving end of the advice has asked for it – the pleasure centers in their brain light up too.

But when someone gives unsolicited advice – advice that was not asked for – the pain centers in the recipient’s brain light up.

Perhaps you have had that experience of being given advice that you did not ask for. If you’d like, in this moment, call to mind a situation where that’s what happened.

The situation I’m thinking about: when someone close to me tried to give me advice on my skiing. I was going along, happily skiing, and thinking that all was right with the world when suddenly this person pulled up next to me and told me “You really should…”

Boom. Pain centers immediately came to life in my brain. Continue reading “The S word”

Sharing a wonderful gift recently given to me

Greetings! I am Karen Lock Kolp, Human Development Expert and Executive/Leadership/Play Coach.
I’m glad you are here!

And if you want to invite a loved one to receive these newsletters, please tell them what you like about it and why you are signed up… and then share this link: https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly

Thank you for making me a part of your journey!

Okay, here is today’s letter:

Happy Tuesday! (Yes, for anyone keeping track it’s a bit early this week – next week will be back to our usual “newsletter-on-Thursday” schedule : )

Going deep and getting vulnerable again this week, with an essay from the subscription-only resource I write and publish each month that teaches simple, powerful tools…

It’s called the We Turned Out Okay Playbook. June’s issue is all about intuition.

I begin each issue with an essay, and as June’s issue is all about intuition, I wanted to share something extra special in the essay.
Because for me, getting better at recognizing my intuition has been one of the cornerstones of wellness and happiness in my adult life.
So I want to share this with you.

I feel vulnerable because, in all honesty, this is a bit of a weird one.
I am about to share an outstanding exercise that I learned during a recent Coaching Intensive that I attended.
As you will read, the exercise invites us to listen to different parts of our bodies, and it can feel extremely peculiar!
But it’s one of the best exercises I’ve ever done for tuning into intuition, reducing anxiety, and feeling better.
For feeling good.

So without further ado, I am excited to bring you this essay!
Continue reading “Sharing a wonderful gift recently given to me”

What I’m really doing while I am knitting

For months I have been knitting a pair of socks. Last fall I wrote about my current sock dilemma (which you can read about here.)

In a nutshell the sock dilemma is this:
I can no longer get my favorite merino wool socks. Not only were they affordable, they were warm, they fit right, and they came in all sorts of lovely and fun colors and patterns.

So this winter I tried hard to conserve them. Instead of wearing them on a chilly day I found myself putting on my summertime ankle-high socks. And then I’d be cold and crotchety.

Here’s what I wrote about the sock situation last fall:

“I’m finding that I don’t want to wear the socks that I have, because I don’t want to wear them out.
So even on the coldest days I am putting on those summertime ankle-high socks, depriving myself of the warmth that the 80% merino wool, wonderful wintertime socks give.
Out of fear.” Continue reading “What I’m really doing while I am knitting”

I graduated yesterday

Yesterday my therapist retired.

We had worked together for seven years. It was a sad day for sure. (For him, as much as any of us patients… He is spending this week saying goodbye to people he loves. As excited as he is to move into post-therapy life, it was a hard day for him, too.)

As I prepared for our last session together – by making biscotti, and writing my therapist a heartfelt letter of thanks – I realized how far I’ve come in seven years.

In spring and summer 2014 I was at my lowest ebb.

I was in tremendous pain; I had almost no use of my hands due to the tendon disorder that I still live with today.

I had multiple symptoms of anxiety, everything from full out anxiety attacks, to pain and tingles all over my body.
I did not know what was causing them, and I had no idea how to recover.

I was as close to suicidal as I’ve ever been. I felt like such a burden to my husband Ben, and our two sons, who were then 13 and nine years old.

And then I met my therapist (whom I think of as “Dr. G.”)
When my primary care doctor recommended I contact Dr. G, I felt some trepidation. I had had some pretty bad therapists over the course of my life by that point! Trying the therapist-patient relationship once more felt truly scary. But I knew I needed something. I knew I needed help. Continue reading “I graduated yesterday”

Is it okay to put down the fear we have all been carrying for so long?

The question “what’s next” has come up frequently for me recently. (So much so that I did a whole podcast episode about it : )

I’ve been thinking a lot on how easy it is to worry, when we think about what’s next. There’s a lot that we don’t know!
Is it okay to send kids to summer camp this year?
Is it okay to hug people that we love, but who don’t happen to be part of our household?
Is it okay to put down the fear we have all been carrying for so, so long?

I’ve done some deep thinking, and deep inner work on the idea of “what’s next.”
I put on my thinking cap!
Today I want to share with you the result: 3 tenets that I am utilizing this spring to stay on the positive side of “what’s next.”

Three objectives, three throughlines, three ways I am thinking about how to be in the world.

Here they are: Continue reading “Is it okay to put down the fear we have all been carrying for so long?”

362: What’s next?

What’s next? For many, that feels like the question of the moment.

As I recorded this episode, there were some hopeful notes in the air, but also some serious uncertainty.

A little more than a year ago everyone’s lives were completely disrupted, and the stress and worry and fear that we’ve lived with for so long feels impenetrable.
What’s next? This may be a frightening question. But it’s also an exhilarating one, when looked at in a certain light.

If any or all of that is on your mind, I hope my conversation with author and community-builder Gail Clanton is helpful for you. Gail brings wonderful energy and ideas to your ears today!

You will learn:
– how to tap into your own creativity
– how to foster community, even with the way that we have been living since early 2020
– 3 ways to share your stories

It’s a fantastic conversation, and I’m so grateful to Gail for coming on the show!

You can watch the video of our conversation by going to https://weturnedoutokay.com/362

Key Links just below.
Thanks for reading! Cheers!

Key Links

Gail has just published a beautiful memoir, Sparkle in the Rain; click here to see!

Her anthology Living in the Key of Joy comes out next month – click here to check it out : )

The Parenting in Place Masterclass comes up in our conversation; this masterclass has been a lifesaver for me and many others over the past year. Click this link to check it out: http://parentinginplacemasterclass.com

A couple writing resources that come up in our conversation today:
temi.com
KDP

In the preshow I share about two recent episodes that have helped me figure out “what’s next”…
My conversation with Julie Lythcott-Haimes in episode 360 of the podcast
My conversation with coaching client Kate about pandemic survivor’s guilt and so much more, episode 360.5 of the podcast

The We Turned Out Okay Playbook, my subscription-only, quality monthly playbook for parents, is going digital! You can now get this essential tool for parental well-being either in your physical snail mailbox, or digitally, if you’d rather enjoy a digital, than physical, copy!
Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/playbook for details, and to subscribe.
 

__________________________

Listen to this conversation as well as the 360-plus-episode back catalog of We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Stitcher Podcasts

360.5: Pandemic survivor’s guilt

My coaching client is celebrating so much: vaccines, in-person schooling and a new friend for her daughter! For me, this picture evokes those good feelings.

There is no manual for emerging from a pandemic, just as there is none for living through one.
So my private coaching client Kate’s questions might be very familiar to you:
– “Am I being selfish?” (To send her child to in-person school, or summer camp.)
– How do we keep “the comfort of closeness” we’ve had during all this, but still foster a kid’s independence?
– What about kids’ physical safety – when they are not right next to us, when they are off doing normal childhood things (like school or summer camp)?
This is usually an off week for the podcast, but in speaking with Kate, the concerns she brought up and the stuff she is dealing with felt extremely relevant to what you are likely experiencing right now.
If you, like Kate – like me – are wondering about any of this, you are going to LOVE this episode.
Join us!

Key Links

In this conversation Kate shares about value she got from my book, Educating Happy Kids. For this and my other books, go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/books.

Click here to register for the Toddler Play Conference, which begins Thursday 4/22/21! If you have young children you won’t want to miss this, Holly Peretz’s second annual deep dive into living, dare I even say enjoying life, with toddlers. You can watch all the presentations for free in real time, and it’s all online so you get to do it in your PJs if you wish!

My masterclass, What’s the pandemic doing to my child?, is SOLD OUT – before we even made it out of the Early Bird pricing! If you are signed up, I can’t wait to work with you on this important topic!
If you missed out on this one, stay tuned because I’ll be offering other masterclasses soon.
In fact, sign up for my free weekly newsletters, https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly, to find out about the next masterclass before the general public!

Video, links, and show notes for this episode are all located at https://weturnedoutokay.com/360.5

Thanks for being here!

_________________________________

Listen to this conversation as well as the 360-plus-episode back catalog of We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Stitcher Podcasts