I graduated yesterday

Yesterday my therapist retired.

We had worked together for seven years. It was a sad day for sure. (For him, as much as any of us patients… He is spending this week saying goodbye to people he loves. As excited as he is to move into post-therapy life, it was a hard day for him, too.)

As I prepared for our last session together – by making biscotti, and writing my therapist a heartfelt letter of thanks – I realized how far I’ve come in seven years.

In spring and summer 2014 I was at my lowest ebb.

I was in tremendous pain; I had almost no use of my hands due to the tendon disorder that I still live with today.

I had multiple symptoms of anxiety, everything from full out anxiety attacks, to pain and tingles all over my body.
I did not know what was causing them, and I had no idea how to recover.

I was as close to suicidal as I’ve ever been. I felt like such a burden to my husband Ben, and our two sons, who were then 13 and nine years old.

And then I met my therapist (whom I think of as “Dr. G.”)
When my primary care doctor recommended I contact Dr. G, I felt some trepidation. I had had some pretty bad therapists over the course of my life by that point! Trying the therapist-patient relationship once more felt truly scary. But I knew I needed something. I knew I needed help. Continue reading “I graduated yesterday”

Is it okay to put down the fear we have all been carrying for so long?

The question “what’s next” has come up frequently for me recently. (So much so that I did a whole podcast episode about it : )

I’ve been thinking a lot on how easy it is to worry, when we think about what’s next. There’s a lot that we don’t know!
Is it okay to send kids to summer camp this year?
Is it okay to hug people that we love, but who don’t happen to be part of our household?
Is it okay to put down the fear we have all been carrying for so, so long?

I’ve done some deep thinking, and deep inner work on the idea of “what’s next.”
I put on my thinking cap!
Today I want to share with you the result: 3 tenets that I am utilizing this spring to stay on the positive side of “what’s next.”

Three objectives, three throughlines, three ways I am thinking about how to be in the world.

Here they are: Continue reading “Is it okay to put down the fear we have all been carrying for so long?”

362: What’s next?

What’s next? For many, that feels like the question of the moment.

As I recorded this episode, there were some hopeful notes in the air, but also some serious uncertainty.

A little more than a year ago everyone’s lives were completely disrupted, and the stress and worry and fear that we’ve lived with for so long feels impenetrable.
What’s next? This may be a frightening question. But it’s also an exhilarating one, when looked at in a certain light.

If any or all of that is on your mind, I hope my conversation with author and community-builder Gail Clanton is helpful for you. Gail brings wonderful energy and ideas to your ears today!

You will learn:
– how to tap into your own creativity
– how to foster community, even with the way that we have been living since early 2020
– 3 ways to share your stories

It’s a fantastic conversation, and I’m so grateful to Gail for coming on the show!

You can watch the video of our conversation by going to https://weturnedoutokay.com/362

Key Links just below.
Thanks for reading! Cheers!

Key Links

Gail has just published a beautiful memoir, Sparkle in the Rain; click here to see!

Her anthology Living in the Key of Joy comes out next month – click here to check it out : )

The Parenting in Place Masterclass comes up in our conversation; this masterclass has been a lifesaver for me and many others over the past year. Click this link to check it out: http://parentinginplacemasterclass.com

A couple writing resources that come up in our conversation today:
temi.com
KDP

In the preshow I share about two recent episodes that have helped me figure out “what’s next”…
My conversation with Julie Lythcott-Haimes in episode 360 of the podcast
My conversation with coaching client Kate about pandemic survivor’s guilt and so much more, episode 360.5 of the podcast

The We Turned Out Okay Playbook, my subscription-only, quality monthly playbook for parents, is going digital! You can now get this essential tool for parental well-being either in your physical snail mailbox, or digitally, if you’d rather enjoy a digital, than physical, copy!
Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/playbook for details, and to subscribe.
 

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Listen to this conversation as well as the 360-plus-episode back catalog of We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Stitcher Podcasts

360.5: Pandemic survivor’s guilt

My coaching client is celebrating so much: vaccines, in-person schooling and a new friend for her daughter! For me, this picture evokes those good feelings.

There is no manual for emerging from a pandemic, just as there is none for living through one.
So my private coaching client Kate’s questions might be very familiar to you:
– “Am I being selfish?” (To send her child to in-person school, or summer camp.)
– How do we keep “the comfort of closeness” we’ve had during all this, but still foster a kid’s independence?
– What about kids’ physical safety – when they are not right next to us, when they are off doing normal childhood things (like school or summer camp)?
This is usually an off week for the podcast, but in speaking with Kate, the concerns she brought up and the stuff she is dealing with felt extremely relevant to what you are likely experiencing right now.
If you, like Kate – like me – are wondering about any of this, you are going to LOVE this episode.
Join us!

Key Links

In this conversation Kate shares about value she got from my book, Educating Happy Kids. For this and my other books, go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/books.

Click here to register for the Toddler Play Conference, which begins Thursday 4/22/21! If you have young children you won’t want to miss this, Holly Peretz’s second annual deep dive into living, dare I even say enjoying life, with toddlers. You can watch all the presentations for free in real time, and it’s all online so you get to do it in your PJs if you wish!

My masterclass, What’s the pandemic doing to my child?, is SOLD OUT – before we even made it out of the Early Bird pricing! If you are signed up, I can’t wait to work with you on this important topic!
If you missed out on this one, stay tuned because I’ll be offering other masterclasses soon.
In fact, sign up for my free weekly newsletters, https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly, to find out about the next masterclass before the general public!

Video, links, and show notes for this episode are all located at https://weturnedoutokay.com/360.5

Thanks for being here!

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Listen to this conversation as well as the 360-plus-episode back catalog of We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Stitcher Podcasts

Cultivating “one distinct advantage” in kids

Tapping into my child development expertise in this, the second in a series on the repercussions of the pandemic on children…

Last week we looked at social development (click here to read that one.) In future weeks we discuss mental and physical health, so stay tuned!

If you’ve got any friends who might find the series relevant, invite them to sign up for these free weekly newsletters at the following link: https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly

I would feel so honored if you shared. Because it means that not only are you getting a lot out of what I teach, but you know that someone else will too. Let’s spread this important information far and wide!
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Let’s talk about emotional development.

Recently my dad called me, just to chat. As soon as he asked “how are you?” I burst into tears.

We ended up talking for over an hour.

Dad really listened to me. He asked very good questions. And then he asked great follow-up questions.

When we got off the phone I told him “I feel so much better.”

And I really did! There is true power in feeling heard.

“One distinct advantage”… Continue reading “Cultivating “one distinct advantage” in kids”

Social repercussions of the pandemic on children

Going back to my child development roots for this, the first in a series on the repercussions of the pandemic on children…

In future weeks we discuss emotional, mental, and physical health, so stay tuned!

If you’ve got any friends who might find the series relevant, you can invite them to sign up for these free weekly newsletters at the following link: https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly

I would feel so honored if you shared. Because it means that not only are you getting a lot out of what I teach, but you know that someone else will too. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart <3

I want to kick off this series by talking about something that’s on everyone’s minds these days:
Children’s social development.

What’s the pandemic doing to children, socially?

How is it impacting their development? Continue reading “Social repercussions of the pandemic on children”

Information overload: a huge danger for parents

In conversation with a one to one coaching client of mine – her name is Chloee, and you can meet her by listening to our conversation in this podcast episode – I began to realize one huge challenge parents are facing right now:

Information overload.

When Chloee and I first started working together last year, she told me how incredibly overwhelmed she was at the volume of information available for free.

This course, that article, this list of tips, that webinar.

She could not decide what to pay attention to, because of the noise all this created for her.

And yet, Chloee still had significant challenges she faced.

Somehow they needed to be addressed. But she wasn’t sure how, or what to do.

She worried about her two-year-old daughter’s development.
Confined to a small apartment for weeks and months at a time.
What should her daughter the doing?
What should she be eating?
Was she developing okay, or were there problems that Chloee was missing?
Perhaps biggest of all, how long would this go on?
What if it went on so long that it fundamentally damaged Chloe’s beautiful girl?

Overwhelmed by resources, Chloee couldn’t find an answer. Continue reading “Information overload: a huge danger for parents”

Helping kids love themselves and their bodies

A favorite band of mine, The Samples, has a song called Could It Be Another Change in which they sing:

You can’t love no one…
You can’t love something…
You can’t love nothin…
You can’t love anything
Till you can love yourself…
You can love yourself.

This has been on my mind a lot recently. I’ve been thinking about the messages we give our loved ones based on how we feel about ourselves.

I think in part it’s been on my mind so much because recently I was invited to be an expert speaker in a conference, Kids’ Healthy Bodies, hosted by Sarah Scheldt, M.Ed. (The series begins February 15 and will run for 14 days; click here to get your free ticket!)

My friend Sarah has pulled together a list of impressive speakers to share real-life strategies on how you can have empowered conversations with your kids around their bodies, health, and so much more! Continue reading “Helping kids love themselves and their bodies”

Nothing but flowers

I’ve had an old Talking Heads song in my head for the last little while.

It’s called (Nothing but) Flowers, and it is truly speaking to my pandemic experience right now.

It’s not a perfect correlation. But this song tells of a future in which everything’s changed.
“This was a Pizza Hut
Now it’s all covered with daisies…

I miss the honky tonks,
Dairy Queens, and 7-Elevens…”

The song doesn’t tell us why the Pizza Hut is all covered with daisies, or where the Dairy Queens and 7-Elevens went.
It seems as if the singer doesn’t really know himself:

“And as things fell apart
Nobody paid much attention…”

But he’s missing things that used to be so common and now are just gone:

Continue reading “Nothing but flowers”

355: Five ways to help you keep going right now

Greetings! Today I’ve got five ways that parents I work closely with are keeping going…

Because even though we can see some hope on the horizon, circumstances on the ground are, shall we say, not ideal.

So if you need a little help getting good behavior from your kids, feeling seen and heard and cared for in your life, or feeling happy inside, here are five ways you may not have considered yet to accomplish those tasks.…

Plus the Parenting News Segment returns today, with reports on how to not use social-emotional learning for evil, and also something called “toxic positivity.”
Join us!
Here are the links that come up today: Continue reading “355: Five ways to help you keep going right now”