Good parenting skills

361: “ADHD is not a result of parenting” – talking with pediatric occupational therapist Holly Peretz today!

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on in Child development, Good parenting skills, Guest Interview

Greetings! Welcome to this first installment in my series on ADHD <3
Scroll down for video of my conversation with Holly (who shares incredible insights into ADD, ADHD, and constructive ways to think about these neurodiversities) as well as lots of links. I’m glad you’re here!

Listen to this conversation as well as the 360-plus-episode back catalog of We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Stitcher Podcasts

 

 

I am honored and thrilled to bring you this conversation with pediatric occupational therapist – and mom of toddlers – Holly Peretz!
As you’ll hear in our conversation, Holly knows lots about the challenges of raising young children.
In fact she’s built an entire virtual summit around addressing these challenges, and thriving (both you, and your kids thriving, I mean.)

Click here to sign up for Holly’s upcoming, amazing Toddler Play Conference – I am a speaker once again and so excited to be a part of this conference!

In today’s conversation, Holly shares her knowledge of ADD and ADHD. Specifically we discuss how to know if your child has one of these neurodiversities, what to do around this whole subject that is helpful, and what to avoid doing.

Key links below – hope you enjoy this episode of We Turned Out Okay!

Key Links

Click here to register for the Toddler Play Conference, which begins Thursday 4/22/21! You can watch all the presentations for free in real time, and it’s all online so you get to do it in your PJs if you wish!

Holly talks about The Explosive Child by Ross Greene… Click here for this seminal book.

I interviewed Tanya Trainor of Miss Tanya’s Nursery Schools in an early episode of We Turned Out Okay; click the following link to listen! https://weturnedoutokay.com/167

If you’d like to read my first book, Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, for free, click here.

My masterclass, What’s the pandemic doing to my child?, is SOLD OUT – before we even made it out of the Early Bird pricing! If you are signed up, I can’t wait to work with you on this important topic!
If you missed out on this one, stay tuned because I’ll be offering other masterclasses soon.
In fact, sign up for my free weekly newsletters, https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly, to find out about the next masterclass before the general public!

The We Turned Out Okay Playbook, my subscription-only, quality monthly playbook for parents, is going digital! Starting with the May issue you can now get this essential tool for parental well-being either in your physical American snail mailbox, or digitally, if you live outside of the US – or if you’d rather enjoy a digital, than physical, copy!
Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/playbook for details, and to subscribe.

Video, links, and show notes for this episode are all located at https://weturnedoutokay.com/361

Thanks for being here!

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Listen to this conversation as well as the 360-plus-episode back catalog of We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Stitcher Podcasts

 

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360.5: Pandemic survivor’s guilt

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on in Child development, Coaching conversation, Feeling happy inside, Good parenting skills
My coaching client is celebrating so much: vaccines, in-person schooling and a new friend for her daughter! For me, this picture evokes those good feelings.

There is no manual for emerging from a pandemic, just as there is none for living through one.
So my private coaching client Kate’s questions might be very familiar to you:
– “Am I being selfish?” (To send her child to in-person school, or summer camp.)
– How do we keep “the comfort of closeness” we’ve had during all this, but still foster a kid’s independence?
– What about kids’ physical safety – when they are not right next to us, when they are off doing normal childhood things (like school or summer camp)?
This is usually an off week for the podcast, but in speaking with Kate, the concerns she brought up and the stuff she is dealing with felt extremely relevant to what you are likely experiencing right now.
If you, like Kate – like me – are wondering about any of this, you are going to LOVE this episode.
Join us!

Key Links

In this conversation Kate shares about value she got from my book, Educating Happy Kids. For this and my other books, go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/books.

Click here to register for the Toddler Play Conference, which begins Thursday 4/22/21! If you have young children you won’t want to miss this, Holly Peretz’s second annual deep dive into living, dare I even say enjoying life, with toddlers. You can watch all the presentations for free in real time, and it’s all online so you get to do it in your PJs if you wish!

My masterclass, What’s the pandemic doing to my child?, is SOLD OUT – before we even made it out of the Early Bird pricing! If you are signed up, I can’t wait to work with you on this important topic!
If you missed out on this one, stay tuned because I’ll be offering other masterclasses soon.
In fact, sign up for my free weekly newsletters, https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly, to find out about the next masterclass before the general public!

Video, links, and show notes for this episode are all located at https://weturnedoutokay.com/360.5

Thanks for being here!

_________________________________

Listen to this conversation as well as the 360-plus-episode back catalog of We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Stitcher Podcasts

Podcast: Play in new window | Download | Embed

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS

The pandemic impact on kids’ physical health

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on in Child development, Coronavirus, Good parenting skills, Happy parent
Kids are still kids, even in a pandemic. That is both wonderful, and terrifying. Let me help you get your child’s behavior under control so it can be wonderful and not terrifying 🙂

I am excited to share this fourth letter in my series on “repercussions the pandemic is having on children.”

First, we looked at social development (click here to read that one.)
Then we talked about emotional development (click here to read that one).
Last week we considered mental health – click here for that newsletter –
and finally today will discuss physical health, the challenges the pandemic has brought in this area, and some ideas for how you can get good physical health into your child’s life!

(BTW these free newsletters will continue, with lots of ideas on other relevant topics if you are a parent, so stay tuned!)

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Today we’re talking about physical health.

When I think of physical health I inevitably think of the old adage “use it or lose it.”

Years ago when I first developed the tendon problems that have been with me for nearly a decade now, I began to truly understand the relationship between tendons, bones, and muscles.

One of the first things my physical therapist did was to get the inflammation out of the tendons. (For me that meant massaging out scar tissue, which was super painful, but ultimately so worth it. After eight months of being unable to walk more than a few steps due to tremendous pain, suddenly my muscles and tendons were healing. Within a very few months they were bearing the weight of my body, for the first time in nearly a year.)

I had spent all that time not using my leg muscles and as a result they atrophied.
Like, a lot.
As in, muscles on your leg – for example, shin muscles – that have a convex appearance (they round outward)… In me those muscles were concave.
I needed to push my leg to go backwards, when we began doing “water physical therapy.” My hamstring literally couldn’t pull my leg backwards!

Use it or lose it.

In the pandemic, this phrase is meaningful because it’s helped me remember a hierarchy of physical needs, for myself and my kids:
Continue reading “The pandemic impact on kids’ physical health” →

Supporting children’s mental health right now

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on in Child development, Coronavirus, Good parenting skills

Tapping into my child development expertise, this is the third in a series on the repercussions of the pandemic on children…

A few weeks ago we looked at social development (click here to read that one.) Last week we talked about emotional development (click here to read that one). We’ll round out the series next week looking at physical health, so stay tuned!

If you’ve got any friends who might find the series relevant, you can invite them to sign up for these free weekly newsletters at the following link: https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly…

I would feel so honored if you shared. Because it means that not only are you getting a lot out of what I teach, but you know that someone else will too. Let’s spread this important information far and wide!
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Today we’re talking about mental health.

My youngest is not getting his usual enjoyment out of skiing, this year, in Covid.

No hangout time in the lodge. No going up in the lift with buddies. (Not even seeing buddies almost at all.)

In all the unhappiness his boots have started to hurt him. Poor guy! There’s nothing worse than skiing with boots that hurt.

But curiously, the boots only hurt when Jay is not actually skiing.

When he’s on the snow headed down the mountain, with the fresh air all around him and a song in his heart, his feet do not hurt.

This is so telling.

Continue reading “Supporting children’s mental health right now” →

359: Setting kids up for an addiction-free life with NYT best-selling author and Mom Jessica Lahey

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on in complicated and difficult family stuff, Good parenting skills, Guest Interview

Greetings! In today’s conversation my guest, Jessica Lahey, and I discuss some big and weighty issues… This would be a good episode to listen to away from sensitive ears or wearing headphones. (It’s an awesome episode, just awesome for us grown-ups : )

Listen to this conversation as well as the 350+ episode back catalog ofWe Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Stitcher Podcasts

 

(I got to meet Jess Lahey in person several years ago, and this picture was taken then : )

 

 

 

I feel an immense sense of gratitude to Jess for coming back on the show (she is a returning champion! Click this link to listen to our first conversation: https://weturnedoutokay.com/054.)

Jess is the author of the new book The Addiction Inoculation (which you can order by clicking here! Squee!) Her ideas on educating kids, fostering a sense of trust while keeping children accountable to themselves, and her fearless examination of her own journey with substance abuse are what my gratitude is based in.

But Jess brings so much more to our conversation. She’s funny, not afraid to laugh at herself, and super supportive of her audience, her family, and fellow writers. Talking with Jess is a learning opportunity about:
– What gaslighting is and how it hurts children
– How we can protect our kids against addiction
– How we can develop the most important habits (spoiler: it’s through play and gamifying)

ALSO! It’s the first in our new segment, Triumphs & Misdemeanors, where we get to hear your voices and either celebrate how you have knocked it out of the park – or commune with you if you share an epic fail…
Listen after my conversation with Jess to hear today’s Triumph, and so you can write down the phone number and contribute your own Triumph, or Misdemeanor!

Click weturnedoutokay.com/359 to view this conversation in video, and for the bazillion links too! Continue reading “359: Setting kids up for an addiction-free life with NYT best-selling author and Mom Jessica Lahey” →

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Cultivating “one distinct advantage” in kids

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on in Child development, Educating our kiddos, Feeling happy inside, Good parenting skills

Tapping into my child development expertise in this, the second in a series on the repercussions of the pandemic on children…

Last week we looked at social development (click here to read that one.) In future weeks we discuss mental and physical health, so stay tuned!

If you’ve got any friends who might find the series relevant, invite them to sign up for these free weekly newsletters at the following link: https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly…

I would feel so honored if you shared. Because it means that not only are you getting a lot out of what I teach, but you know that someone else will too. Let’s spread this important information far and wide!
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Let’s talk about emotional development.

Recently my dad called me, just to chat. As soon as he asked “how are you?” I burst into tears.

We ended up talking for over an hour.

Dad really listened to me. He asked very good questions. And then he asked great follow-up questions.

When we got off the phone I told him “I feel so much better.”

And I really did! There is true power in feeling heard.

“One distinct advantage”… Continue reading “Cultivating “one distinct advantage” in kids” →

Social repercussions of the pandemic on children

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on in Child development, Feeling happy inside, Good parenting skills

Going back to my child development roots for this, the first in a series on the repercussions of the pandemic on children…

In future weeks we discuss emotional, mental, and physical health, so stay tuned!

If you’ve got any friends who might find the series relevant, you can invite them to sign up for these free weekly newsletters at the following link: https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly…

I would feel so honored if you shared. Because it means that not only are you getting a lot out of what I teach, but you know that someone else will too. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart <3

I want to kick off this series by talking about something that’s on everyone’s minds these days:
Children’s social development.

What’s the pandemic doing to children, socially?

How is it impacting their development? Continue reading “Social repercussions of the pandemic on children” →

358: Handling tantrums – especially when we parents say “no”

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on in Coaching conversation, Coronavirus, Good parenting skills

Greetings! Today I get to share a powerful conversation with Chloee, my one to one coaching client. Chloee has a toddler and the challenges she faces in caring for her daughter are likely concerns that you also have, regardless of the age of your children.

Here’s what you’ll learn by listening:
– How to address the challenges that Covid brings
– How to make a crucial choice, one that we all must make every day
– How to deal with temper tantrums, especially when we must say “no” to our kids

I encourage you to be coached while you listen.
By that I mean: when I ask Chloee a question, hit pause.
Consider the question for yourself and your situation.
Even, write down your responses. Continue reading “358: Handling tantrums – especially when we parents say “no”” →

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Information overload: a huge danger for parents

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on in Coronavirus, Feeling happy inside, Good parenting skills

In conversation with a one to one coaching client of mine – her name is Chloee, and you can meet her by listening to our conversation in this podcast episode – I began to realize one huge challenge parents are facing right now:

Information overload.

When Chloee and I first started working together last year, she told me how incredibly overwhelmed she was at the volume of information available for free.

This course, that article, this list of tips, that webinar.

She could not decide what to pay attention to, because of the noise all this created for her.

And yet, Chloee still had significant challenges she faced.

Somehow they needed to be addressed. But she wasn’t sure how, or what to do.

She worried about her two-year-old daughter’s development.
Confined to a small apartment for weeks and months at a time.
What should her daughter the doing?
What should she be eating?
Was she developing okay, or were there problems that Chloee was missing?
Perhaps biggest of all, how long would this go on?
What if it went on so long that it fundamentally damaged Chloe’s beautiful girl?

Overwhelmed by resources, Chloee couldn’t find an answer. Continue reading “Information overload: a huge danger for parents” →

The two most important factors in reaching kids

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on in Child development, Good parenting skills

Happy Thursday!

Two stories today, as I’ve been thinking back on some of the successes I had as a preschool teacher.

I once helped a selectively mute girl find her voice.
(Selective mutism is when a child can speak, but only chooses to with trusted people.)
She had literally not spoken for six months in our classroom at that point, since the beginning of the school year.

I helped her find her voice with puppets, and the Three Billy Goes Gruff story.

Wendy really, really wanted to play with her friends! She wanted to be part of this puppet show.
But she was so scared.
Finally, drawn on by her own interest in being part of the story and playing with her friends, Wendy decided to give it a try.
It felt good to help her put on one of the puppets, be there with her to say the lines and to hear her repeat them.As I say she had literally not spoken for six months in our classroom at that point.
And she found her voice!
After that puppet show, Wendy opened up to us.

She often giggled, spoke with friends. She began sharing her thoughts with both children and adults in our classroom.
Each time she did my heart would sing.
I once helped a little boy come out of his own world and enter ours.

Continue reading “The two most important factors in reaching kids” →