I was so thrilled when I received the following testimonial:
“The Ninja Parenting Community is one of the best uses of my energy and time.”
A longtime NPC member, who I will call “Shannon,” shared this testimonial with me. I was touched and honored!
But I had to give that complement right back to her.
After all, she is the one committing the energy and the time.
Probably just like you, Shannon – Mom to a four-year-old – has too much on her plate, a spirited child who can sometimes overwhelm her, and a lot on her mind these days.
Here is a recent post of hers:
“We keep running into him making an unsafe choice and then refusing to leave that room/leave that thing alone which means I have haul him hitting and kicking and hitting and screaming away from it and generally lock a door to keep him from getting back into that room/accessing that item or he keeps charging right back into the unsafe situation or charging at and attacking me if I blocking him from the item/situation. It’s so hard!” Continue reading “A case study about handling epic tantrums”→
This is the latest – and final – installment in my summer-long series, taking you on my journey of recovering from overwhelm and burnout and learning ways to sustainably keep going. Click here for the first installment, “Feeling guilty,”and click here for the most recent in the series, “One thing I cannot live without.”
First of all, how are you today?
I hope you are hanging in there!
I’ve spent the summer thinking deeply on the work that I do.
Welcome! In this episode I share a recent case study from my online private coaching practice, the Ninja Parenting Community (NPC), where the mom of a four-year-old was dealing with extreme temper tantrums, and fearful that her son would never learn to obey the rules. Even the ones for safety.
She struggled to see how good boundaries could improve that situation – until they did.
Here’s something I have learned during the coronavirus pandemic:
Understanding how to do the most basic things, like getting a child to obey you, is even more important now than ever. And yet the basics are elusive during the pandemic.
Today we dive into using a super basic thing, good boundaries, to get your child to obey you.
Also I share about what’s happening with the We Turned Out Okay Podcast… changes are coming, ones that will make the creation of the show sustainable for your host : )
It’s interesting, because good boundaries also come into play in talking about the changes to the show.
I’ve been working on the We Turned Out Okay Playbook now for many months, and Issue 1/August 2020 is finally out! [Enrollment for Issue 1 wraps up on 8/1/2020… Enrollment for Issue 2/September 2020 begins mid-August : ]
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/playbook for more information and to subscribe…
Also, there is a music component to the Playbook that I describe more in depth in today’s newsletter. So read on for that : )
This is the latest in my summer-long series, taking you on my journey of recovering from overwhelm and burnout and learning ways to sustainably keep going. Click here for the first installment, “Feeling guilty,” and click here for last week’s update, “What is in our control?”
SENSITIVE EARS ALERT… Part way through this episode I share about a traumatic event that happened to me in my childhood. I ask that you put on headphones, or listen away from sensitive ears. Thank you!
Today I share three keys to success, when parenting in a pandemic or any crisis.
They are not difficult keys. Because if they were, we wouldn’t be able to do them as consistently as they need doing…
Instead, the first key is relaxing, the second key is enjoyable, and the the third key takes something negative and frames it to be positive.
Also: the day before I recorded this episode I had a total brainwave.
I connected up my superpower – helping people feel seen and cared for – to the reason I have this gift, and have had ever since I can remember.
It’s not a pretty reason.
When I was seven years old I was sexually abused, in my own home, with my mom right upstairs. (She was completely unaware, and I would be a senior in college before she discovered the extent of the trauma. In my first book, Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, I share about what my folks did that was helpful, even though they had no idea what had happened to me.)
After the incident, my whole personality changed. I felt lost, anxious every time we drove out of my ken in the car, and convinced that if I lost sight of my family, they had deserted me.
The day before recording this episode I had the following brainwave:
My superpower comes from the fact that no one gave me the care that I needed, no one came to my rescue on that day. No one had found me when I was lost.
So, I had to learn to do that for myself.
I had to take care of little Karen, because no one else was there to do that.
And it’s left me with a unique ability, that I’ve been practicing ever since: to make people feel seen, and cared for.
It’s become the defining value of my life.
So if you’re feeling lost, or as if no one cares about you, let me be that person for you.
As a child development expert, I’ve never yet met a parent who didn’t have some concerns for their children.
If you’re feeling like everything is impossible right now – lockdown, mask etiquette, school-at-at home, chaos in one corner and fire in another – I can help.
This is the latest in my summer-long series, taking you on my journey of recovering from overwhelm and burnout and learning ways to sustainably keep going. Click here for the first installment, “Feeling guilty,” and click here for last week’s update, “The real reasons to be kind instead of judgmental.”
We are going through the process of changing from employer-based healthcare to, well, non-employer-based healthcare (for lack of a better term).
Navigating social situations has only gotten worse in the pandemic – but it sure wasn’t always easy, even before!
Today’s guests, Evie Granville and Sarah Davis of the Modern Manners for Moms and Dads Podcast, have spent years helping parents navigate social minefields. With a book coming out in the fall and an awesome quiz that you can take right now (I did!), These two friends, educators, and parents have lots to contribute in helping us get along and raise our kids in these crazy times.
Listen to this episode to learn:
– how to navigate the toughest situations you might encounter
– how to understand your own approach to parenting
– how to shift that approach, if it’s not working as well as it could for you and your family
A few announcements
1. I share in this week’s preshow segment how frustrating I’m feeling, as a child-development expert, hearing from so many parents whose children are not doing well in the current educational climate.
Try the Ninja Parenting Community (NPC), our online virtual coaching practice, where parents are getting much needed help navigating the start to this crazy school year.
Right now you can try the Community for just $1 for your whole first month! Click the following link for details and to join NPC: weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC
A new publication I’m creating, the WTOO Playbook! The August 2020 issue is jampacked with help and hope as you navigate the beginning of this crazy school year.
Join my newsletter group to find out more about the WTOO Playbook: weturnedoutokay.com/weekly
3. I’ve been invited to be part of the Mommy Matters Virtual Summit, the brainchild of next week’s WTOO guest, parent Coach, mindfulness expert, and yoga instructor Mariela Ortiz!
The Summit starts in early August, and you can sign up for it by going to: Mommymatterssummit.com
This is the latest in my summer-long series, taking you on my journey of recovering from overwhelm and burnout and learning ways to sustainably keep going. Click here for the first installment, “Feeling guilty.”
I’m still shocked and amazed by how much better I’m feeling, after a weekend of doing just one simple thing!
Well, simple to conceive… But not easy to implement.
The first thing I did to address it:
I dropped off the Internet.
Not completely – but almost.
What that mostly meant was I didn’t “obsessively check.”
(I decided to leave off what I’ve been obsessively checking… because, while I obsessively checked some things, yours may be different. But the point is we are all obsessively checking something. What helped was cutting that out!)
As a child development expert, I want to help you keep going in our new reality!
This conversation, recorded during March 2020 (in other words at the very beginning of the pandemic here in the US), I know will be super helpful for that.
I am excited to bring you my conversation with the author of one of my favorite parenting books (it’s called Happy Campers) – Audrey Monke of sunshine-parenting.com is today’s OkayCon 2020 guest!
– How to stay positive, even while everyone is cooped up together
– Some great family-focused activities you can do to make your stuck at home time more enjoyable
– What lessons Audrey, her family, and counselors and campers (who attend the summer camp Audrey owns and runs) are learning from this time
Learn how to keep going:
In my (free) Weekly Parenting Newsletters I am taking you on my journey of recovering from burnout, exhaustion, and huge feelings of guilt.
I am working to feel at peace with myself – to keep going, raising my kids, keeping our household running, and feeling happy inside – and if you want some tools to help you accomplish those miracles, click this link! Weturnedoutokay.com/weekly
NPC Summer Camp registration ENDS Wednesday 7/1
One way parents have been feeling way better, recovering from exhaustion, handling their kids’ fears, clinginess, and potty training issues: the Ninja Parenting Community.
Get access to everything in the community and enjoy a summer camp program created just for you, if you are looking for connection and positivity in our new reality!
I am closing registration to NPC on Wednesday, July 1 at 9 PM EST – enroll today, and take that first step toward being able to feel at peace with yourself and (sustainably) keep going!
Here is the link, jump in while there is still time: weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC
Normally this Digest goes out only to current members of my online coaching practice, NPC.
I decided to share this email with everyone because it contains something super useful right now, as we continue to tread into the unknown.
Read on to find out what it is!
Settling Conflicts (NPC Training of the Week)
I’m using the weekly roundup of “what’s going on in our private online coaching practice” to share a training each week!
Today I’m sharing a tool, a PDF checklist – one tiny part of the resources in NPC – to help you in resolving conflicts with your kids.
Parents I work closely with have been very open about their concerns, as the virus surges in some parts of the country and nobody really knows how day cares or school will look, even though the new school year is just a few months away.
And yet, kids still experience big feelings.
They still have temper tantrums. They are still mean to each other, or disrespectful to us.