How to stop school from screwing up your young child, Part 3 | Podcast Episode 304

NPC Cyber Monday special: 30% off of annual Ninja Parenting Community membership… Get on the waiting list (and get 7 of my best parenting resources – for free) by clicking weturnedoutokay.com/cybermonday!

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“Fortunately the children have no words to define the panic and anger they feel at constant violations of natural order and sequence fobbed off on them as quality in education.” – Jon Taylor Gatto, Dumbing Us Down

Everyone likes to know what is going on, we like to have some context in our lives.

So do our kids! In this installment of our “How to stop school from screwing up your child” series, we discuss what aspects of school can sew confusion in children, how detrimental that truly is, and what we can do about it.

Cheat sheet on helping kids feel secure, sure of themselves – as well as the key links that come up in today’s episode – are available at weturnedoutokay.com/304

Plus in Parenting News:
This fantastic documentary about the life of Fred Rogers. As I share here, I couldn’t understand why it would be rated PG-13. And then I started watching it.
(Here is the newsletter I wrote about this documentary: How I frightened my three-year-old.)

Ninja parents: I mention in today’s Parenting News segment that I just created a forum post in NPC inviting you to share a piece of news that you would like to see featured in this space. Click here to read the post, and to share your Parenting News!

Join us!

Today’s episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, who has created a great resource to help your child handle it when the going gets tough!
Listen to today’s show to find out how to get 15% off your order, and then
Click copingskillsforkids.com/okay to check out Janine’s Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks.

Continue reading “How to stop school from screwing up your young child, Part 3 | Podcast Episode 304”

Feeling good about parenting when the going is really tough

Happy Wednesday!

This is the third in a 3-part series on what to do when you feel like you just can’t win as a parent.
Click here for part one, all about getting perspective on your child’s behavior, so you do not feel overwhelmed.
Click here for part two, about how to create conditions that will get good behavior from your kiddo.
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Recently a mom in my private coaching community posted in our forums: “I feel like I just can’t win.”
In the previous week her child:
– Ran from his childcare classroom multiple times
– Slapped a teacher
– Spit, kicked, and hit multiple people, multiple times, including the mom herself
– Shouted, screamed, and melted down, mostly in public
– Bit a child at the playground

In short, her three-year-old had a tough week. As a result, so did she.

There was real despair in her writing, and my heart just went out to her.

I created a video for her, outlining 3 critical tools to get out of that negative space, despite all of the negativity.

And today I want to discuss that 3rd critical tool:

Finding the Positive, Even – Especially – On the Toughest Days

If you reread the multiple bad things that happened to this mom, in a very short period of time, it’s tempting to dwell on those negatives.
You can bet I have, in my own versions of that day.

But tucked in among those negatives, there were also positives.
In our forums she writes of:
– Snuggling up and reading with her son
– Sharing enjoyable meals and playground visits and trips with him
– The many times when childcare pickup is a pleasant experience
– The big questions her son asks
– The kindness he shows, both to her and others
– Her son’s wonderful hugs
– His generous and joyful nature

When we are in the worst of our children’s bad behavior, it’s tough to see those positives.

But they’re there.

On the toughest days, remembering the positives can be the most valuable thing you do.

What positives are you seeing in your child’s behavior today?
Accentuate the positive by creating a list, even just in your head. Or write to me and share your list (I would love that : )

Want to see this tool, along with the first and second? You can view the video I made for my coaching client by going to:

Parenting Tools


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Keep reading below for What’s up on the podcast/In the Facebook group…

Wishing you a wonderful parenting week!
Cheers!
Karen

What’s up on the podcast this week:
We’re asking the question “Is it ADHD or normal behavior?”
In this episode I offer 5 ways to deal with your child’s impulsivity, aggression, lack of focus, and other frustrating (hint: perfectly normal) behavior.
Click the link below to listen:
https://weturnedoutokay.com/299

What’s up in the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group this week:
We talk about magic pills and quick fixes, and whether they are really a thing, during the weekly Magic Words for Parents.
Click here to join the Facebook group!

PS – If you’re enjoying this Weekly Parenting Newsletter, click here so you can sign up to receive it in your inbox, or forward it to a friend who needs a parenting boost today.

298: How to Stop School from Screwing Up Your Kid, Part 1 | Podcast Episode 298

This episode almost didn’t make it.
Not because I don’t think it is wicked important. I do think that.
But because I worried about hurting your feelings.

Ultimately (as you’ll hear in the first five minutes or so) I decided to bring it to you, because from everything I’m seeing, school is broken.
Systemically.
In the long-term, I hope we can work together to fix it.
But in the short-term, we need to make sure that it’s not screwing up our kids.

Plus in Parenting News: This TED talk by Allison Legerwood, “A Simple Trick to Improve Positive Thinking.” Much-needed and much appreciated!

Join us!

Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter

Today’s episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, and an incredible resource she has created to help your child handle it when the going gets tough!
Listen to today’s show to find out how to get 15% off your order, and then
Click copingskillsforkids.com/okay to check out Janine’s Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks.

(Here is the link to the show notes for this post: weturnedoutokay.com/298) Continue reading “298: How to Stop School from Screwing Up Your Kid, Part 1 | Podcast Episode 298”

When your child embarrasses you in public | Podcast Episode 296

So, today’s Parenting News segment makes me cry, those mushy, parenty, happy/sad tears. You know the ones. That’s coming up in today’s break.

Also! Join my private coaching community for just $1 for your whole first 30 days!
Get the support you need to help your child – or yourself – through the huge challenges that parenting can bring.
This is for a limited time, only through September 30, because of a technical screwup. Listen to the break for more on this.
And click here to join the Ninja Parenting Community! (That’s what it’s called, or NPC for short.)

If it hasn’t happened already,

there will likely come a day when your child says or does something super cringe-worthy.
How will you handle it?
Listen in to today’s episode, to learn how to handle it best!

Plus in Parenting News:
Recently The Wall that Heals, a moving model of the Vietnam War Memorial in Washington, DC, came to my area. And while it may seem like a peculiar thing to feature in the Parenting News segment, I believe it’s relevant. I share why in today’s break.

Also, in this episode I share about the free guide on “How to handle every temper tantrum.”
Click weturnedoutokay.com/handle-tantrums-now to get the guide : )

Join us!

 

Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter

Click weturnedoutokay.com/296 for show notes which include a cheat sheet of how to handle it when your child embarrasses you in public.

Today’s episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, and an incredible resource she has created to help your child handle even the biggest feelings!
Click copingskillsforkids.com/coping-cue-cards to check out Janine’s Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks.

Continue reading “When your child embarrasses you in public | Podcast Episode 296”

10 Ways to alleviate anxiety | Podcast Episode 295

If the anxiety is hyped up in your home right now, for kids and/or for you, hopefully you’ll find this episode helpful!

It even includes a discussion, during the break, about how to deal with our own parental anxieties. I read listener Cathy’s letter, sharing about her own anxiety, which starts off the thinking about what we can do to feel less anxious ourselves.

Plus in Parenting News:
I completely screw up a quote from Dr. Elven Semrad in the second half of this episode… Which led me on a search to find out more about this beloved psychotherapist. In Parenting News I bring you this short article, sharing some of his other quotes and thoughts on life.

Join us!

Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter

Click weturnedoutokay.com/295 for show notes which include a cheat sheet of the 10 ways to alleviate anxiety, and tons of links!

Today’s episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, and an incredible resource she has created to help your child handle even the biggest feelings!
Click copingskillsforkids.com/coping-cue-cards to check out Janine’s Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks.

Continue reading “10 Ways to alleviate anxiety | Podcast Episode 295”

What America’s messed-up healthcare system means for your family, with An Arm and a Leg Podcast host Dan Weissmann | Podcast Episode 294

Are you, as a parent, coming to view American healthcare as a soul-sucking showstopper of happiness?
Don’t despair. Today’s guest, Dan Weissmann, has some great ideas and advice!

Dan sparked a movement when he began a podcast about the many ways average Americans – confronting a healthcare system that can be ruinous both financially, and healthwise – think of and approach family health and happiness.

The Arm and a Leg Podcast dives into some crazy stuff!
Listening to Dan’s show you can learn about:
A couple who discovered that their healthcare had unceremoniously dropped them just a few months before that child was due to arrive
The story of how we got insulin, and how, due to high cost, people who rely upon it are becoming modern-day rebel cowboys, figuring out how to create it themselves
Traveling Renaissance Faire folks who can teach you how to resolve disputes with your healthcare provider
Dan stops by today, to talk about how we got here and the true state of healthcare in America today.

Plus in Parenting News: We discuss the work of friend-of-the-podcast Devorah Heitner regarding what kids are really watching on YouTube, and how you can deal with it, in this article on her website. I also read her words from a recent Parenting Newsletter that I wrote on the dangers of YouTube for kids.

Also in the preshow I share that friends-of-the-podcast Jessica Lahey and KJ Dell’Antonia invited me onto their show, #AmWriting, to discuss what it’s like to overcome difficult circumstances and achieve your goals.
If you’d like some insight into your host, and why we have the show at all, this conversation is a great starting point.
Click here to listen!

And thanks for being here!

(Click weturnedoutokay.com/294 for show notes, including a complete transcript of our conversation today.)

Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter

Today’s episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, and an incredible resource she has created to help your child handle even the biggest feelings!
Click copingskillsforkids.com/coping-cue-cards to check out Janine’s Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks.

Continue reading “What America’s messed-up healthcare system means for your family, with An Arm and a Leg Podcast host Dan Weissmann | Podcast Episode 294”

5 Ways to help your child feel safe (amidst news reports on gun violence) Bonus Podcast Episode 290.5

We have all been hit hard by the news recently. And if we, as adults, are feeling the strain and stress, it’s a safe bet that our children feel it too.
How can you help?
In this bonus episode I offer five ways.

Helpful links:

Click here for episode 261 of We Turned Out Okay, my conversation with Maureen Healy (whose Bubble Breathing exercise I suggest in this episode.)

Click here for the link to the Eckerd College article about Marjorie Sanfilippo, whose study about kids and guns I talk about in this episode.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to sign up for my parenting newsletter, which right now (in real-time) is an in-depth, 4-part series on how to handle overwhelmed at the start of the school year.

Click here to read this post in your browser.

How to Help Kids Get Along: Masterclass | Podcast Episode 287

How does one mom handle it, when she finds her daughters throwing dirt at each other?

No matter the season, there’s always an opportunity for kids to come into conflict with other kids.

Whether siblings, cousins, classmates or just somebody at the playground, mean words, pushing, and other acts of frustration or aggression abound.

So, do we parents just have to live with it, put up with the bickering and hard feelings?

Nope!

This masterclass is a distillation of three months’ worth of work in the private, online community I run for parents of young children.
During April, May, and June 2019 we dove headfirst into the problems real parents really experience, and how to alleviate it when kids aren’t getting along.

Today I’m bringing you behind the scenes, directly into the Ninja Parenting Community, sharing the information you need to help your kids actually get along!

Some of these ideas may seem unconventional, and likely (unless you are a member of NPC) they are new to you, but they REALLY work.

In fact we finish out with a success story! How does one mom handle it, when she finds her daughters throwing dirt at each other?

Find out in this episode of We Turned Out Okay!

Plus in Parenting News: This article in the Atlantic, on Fred Rogers (of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood) and how he approached speaking with children, is one of those articles I wanted to hug to my chest <3
I share why in today’s Parenting News segment.
Plus I read my recent review of Audrey Monke’s wonderful book, Happy Campers!

Join us!

Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/287 for:

  • Notes from this Masterclass on How to Help Kids Get Along with Other Kids
  • The Masterclass video
  • Links to free guides on potty training, handling every temper tantrum, and more

And thank you so much for listening!

Today’s episode is brought to you by…
You, if you have purchased one of my parenting books! I write books that help parents truly enjoy family time, by sharing tools and formulas that you can use to change your child’s behavior from bad to good, and also that help you feel happy inside.
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/books to check them out!

Continue reading “How to Help Kids Get Along: Masterclass | Podcast Episode 287”

A Roadmap to Responsibility and Independence: Podcast Bonus Episode!

In today’s bonus podcast episode I answer WTOO Facebook group member Jennifer’s question about how to get kids to take responsibility without continually hovering around them and “politely interrupting” in order to get kids to clean up their messes.

I put this in the context of a roadmap, which includes three crucial steps to independence, responsibility, and guilt-free parenting.

(BTW: I share about a conversation I had recently on a wonderful show, Authentic Parenting. Click here for Anna Seewald’s conversation with me, in episode 185 of her show, all about how our childhoods impact our whole lives. (You should listen away from kiddos, there are some adult themes in this episode.)

Thank you so much for listening!

I’m offering a special program, “How to do less for your kids, and feel good about it: 21 days to Independence,” which starts this coming Monday, July 15.

Everything I cover in this episode – and it’s a lot! – has been a starting point.

This 3-week workshop is tailored specifically to your needs, very personalized (even includes videos that I make just for you each week!) and so helpful as you work to get your child to be independent and responsible.

Registration ends Sunday July 14, if spots don’t run out first! (I am strictly limiting enrollment, and there are just a few spots left now.)

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/indy to learn more about the program, watch a video overview, and to sign up!

If you’re listing after Sunday, July 14, 2019, and you want to learn how to get your child to be independent and responsible, I recommend that you join the private coaching community I run for parents.
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/workwithme to learn more!

A roadmap to getting your child to take more responsibility

Happy Wednesday!

Today I want to give you some concrete steps you can take, to get your child to take more responsibility.

The method below also helps your child become more independent.

FYI: Spots are filling up for the program I’m offering, all about how to do less for your child and feel good about that! Because I’m working so closely with participants I am strictly limiting enrollment. (As I write this there are just 4 spots left!) You can learn more and register by clicking weturnedoutokay.com/indy.

Independence is good for two reasons:

  • 1. When kids can do more for themselves, it is ultimately going to be helpful for them, all their lives.
  • 2. When kids can do more for themselves, we don’t have to do as much for them. We can be guilt-free as we enjoy more free time, maybe even do something that fills our soul.

But, it can be incredibly difficult to give our children independence. Just as it can be incredibly difficult to get them to take more responsibility.

This is for a variety of reasons, and it is something that I have struggled with as my kids have grown.

I’ve overcome this challenge, and I have helped others do the same. In fact all this quarter in the Ninja Parenting Community, our focus is on independence! If you are an NPC member, click this link to go directly to our Parent Quarterly Focus forum on Independence.

So, here is my roadmap to getting your child to take more responsibility, and also getting your child to be more independent! Continue reading “A roadmap to getting your child to take more responsibility”