366: A world where you can be anything

I am excited to bring you into this, the first in a five-part series on really important subject – and a fun one too!
But I don’t want to say too much about it. I want you to listen, and see if what you hear resonates.
For this first part though, I do have one question:
What should you be, in a world where you can be anything?

Thank you so much for listening! I am glad you’re here <3
Karen

PS I have an invitation for you: if you haven’t already, get to know me a little better by signing up for my weekly newsletter.
It’s free, and I promise to hold your email address – and thus your heart – safely, in both my hands…
Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to sign up : )

This episode’s home-on-the-web: https://weturnedoutokay.com/366

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The S word

There is one word that I despise in the English language almost more than any other word.

I think of it as “the S word.”

The problem with this word is that the person who’s saying it feels good – and the person to whom it is being said often feels bad.

Attending a masterclass earlier in the pandemic, I learned of new scientific research on what lights up different areas of a person’s brain.

When we tell others what we think will be in their best interest, pleasure centers in our brain light up.

In other words when we are giving advice, that’s when the pleasure centers in our brain light up.

If that advice has been solicited – in other words, if the person on the receiving end of the advice has asked for it – the pleasure centers in their brain light up too.

But when someone gives unsolicited advice – advice that was not asked for – the pain centers in the recipient’s brain light up.

Perhaps you have had that experience of being given advice that you did not ask for. If you’d like, in this moment, call to mind a situation where that’s what happened.

The situation I’m thinking about: when someone close to me tried to give me advice on my skiing. I was going along, happily skiing, and thinking that all was right with the world when suddenly this person pulled up next to me and told me “You really should…”

Boom. Pain centers immediately came to life in my brain. Continue reading “The S word”

365: “What DOES matter to me?” Talking with Shari Medini of Adore Them Parenting today!

“Is this something that I care about, or is this something that someone else thinks I should care about?” – Shari Medini
That’s what I almost called today’s episode (but used another excellent quote from today’s guest for brevity’s sake : )
If you want a conversation about handling all the stuff that is flying at you…
If you want to feel better about the choices that you have that maybe you didn’t even realize…
You will love this talk with Shari Medini, one half of the duo at Adore Them Parenting! Shari and her cofounder Karissa Tunis have written a great book, Parenting While Working from Home, and offer their help and support to parents from their website.
They brought me into their virtual summit this winter – you can hear the audio from my presentation at the end of today’s episode in fact, presenting on a subject that is near and dear to my heart!

I know you’re going to love our conversation!
Video of my conversation with Shari and my presentation for the Adore Them Summit: https://weturnedoutokay.com/365

Cheers! And thank you for listening!
Karen

PS I have an invitation for you: if you haven’t already, get to know me a little better by signing up for my weekly newsletter.

It’s free, and I promise to hold your email address – and thus your heart – in both my hands…
The newsletter is where I share my best essays, stories, and tools. Because it’s more personal, it’s even better than the podcast! Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to sign up : )

Listen to We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!

Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOApple

Spotify… http://bit.ly/WTOOSpotify

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364: “ADHD is kind of a superpower” with Janine Halloran, Mom, Best-selling Author, and LMHC

Greetings! Yes, on its surface this is a conversation (with 6-time returning champion Janine Halloran! So excited to bring her back to you!) about ADHD.

But it’s about so much more.
It’s about expectations, and how they create the roles our children inhabit.
It’s about us, the roles we inhabit, and how we got here.
It’s about what we can do that would be detrimental, or helpful – again, not just with the concerns of ADHD. But with so much more.
I’m excited to welcome you into this conversation, and I’m grateful that you are here!
Key links and video located at https://weturnedoutokay.com/364

Key Links

Click here for the video that I share in the intro, in which six photographers were told six different things about the same man – and as a result of their different expectations, they produce six completely different portraits of that man.

Click https://weturnedoutokay.com/191 for the conversation I share about in the intro, me talking with my 13-year-old son… He accuses me of being “Pollyanna-ish.” It’s a fascinating chat even if you don’t happen to be this boy’s mother!

Click https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to sign up for my weekly newsletters… Each is an invitation to go deeper with me. To get to know me better, to correspond, and to get support for your challenges. Completely free, just bring your open heart <3

Click http://copingskillsforkids.com to check out all of the useful and fun stuff that Janine is doing!

Click here for the amazing Rick Riordan book series about Percy Jackson and the Olympians.

Click here for an article about one of Dav Pilkey’s Captain Underpants books, which the author withdrew from publication recently.

Click here for the Angst movie.

Click https://weturnedoutokay.com/194 for my conversation with awesome author Joshilyn Jackson, a New York Times best-selling fiction author (who shares on my show that she didn’t feel empathy until she became a parent. A fascinating conversation!)

Click https://weturnedoutokay.com/324 for my conversation with Janine during OkayCon 2020, the video series I did to support parents during the pandemic… It was called “Why your child’s behavior may be worse now than usual, and what to do about it, with Janine Halloran, LMHC”

Click https://weturnedoutokay.com/300 to hear my roundtable conversation with Janine, today’s guest, and special-needs preschool teacher Tricia Tomaso. Two of my favorite humans on the whole planet, together in a fabulous roundtable discussion!

Click https://weturnedoutokay.com/361 for the first in this ADHD series, called “ADHD is not a result of parenting” – talking with pediatric occupational therapist Holly Peretz today!”

Click here to check out Janine’s courses for educators on developing patients’ and students’ coping skills. Very cool!

Listen to We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOApple

Spotify… http://bit.ly/WTOOSpotify

Stitcher Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOStitcher

363: “ I wasn’t bad inside. But bad kids rarely are.” Talking with WAPO Parent Columnist Meghan Leahey

Greetings! THERE ARE SWEARS TODAY…
So be sure to listen away from sensitive ears : )

My guest, Washington Post Parent Columnist Meghan Leahey, recorded this conversation with me back in February… and it feels even more relevant now, than when we recorded.

This episode will help you:
– Put important stuff in perspective
– Lay to rest a childhood demon or two
– Appreciate the absurdity inherent in our lives right now

Watch our conversation by going to https://weturnedoutokay.com/363
Key links just below.
Cheers! And thank you so much for listening!

Key Links
Connect with Meghan – and get her book, Parenting Outside the Lines! – at MLparentcoach.com

Today, the Parent Encouragement Program comes up because Meghan use to be part of that program! Check it out at https://pepparent.org/

My conversation with Katherine Reynolds Lewis (another Parent Encouragement Program alum) comes up today… Listen by going to https://weturnedoutokay.com/351

The We Turned Out Okay Playbook, my subscription-only, quality monthly playbook for parents, has gone digital! You can now get this essential tool for parental well-being either in your physical snail mailbox, or digitally!
Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/playbook for details, and to subscribe.
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Listen to this conversation as well as the 360-plus-episode back catalog of We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts

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Stitcher Podcasts

Is it okay to put down the fear we have all been carrying for so long?

The question “what’s next” has come up frequently for me recently. (So much so that I did a whole podcast episode about it : )

I’ve been thinking a lot on how easy it is to worry, when we think about what’s next. There’s a lot that we don’t know!
Is it okay to send kids to summer camp this year?
Is it okay to hug people that we love, but who don’t happen to be part of our household?
Is it okay to put down the fear we have all been carrying for so, so long?

I’ve done some deep thinking, and deep inner work on the idea of “what’s next.”
I put on my thinking cap!
Today I want to share with you the result: 3 tenets that I am utilizing this spring to stay on the positive side of “what’s next.”

Three objectives, three throughlines, three ways I am thinking about how to be in the world.

Here they are: Continue reading “Is it okay to put down the fear we have all been carrying for so long?”

361: “ADHD is not a result of parenting” – talking with pediatric occupational therapist Holly Peretz today!

Greetings! Welcome to this first installment in my series on ADHD <3
Scroll down for video of my conversation with Holly (who shares incredible insights into ADD, ADHD, and constructive ways to think about these neurodiversities) as well as lots of links. I’m glad you’re here!

Listen to this conversation as well as the 360-plus-episode back catalog of We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Stitcher Podcasts

 

 

I am honored and thrilled to bring you this conversation with pediatric occupational therapist – and mom of toddlers – Holly Peretz!
As you’ll hear in our conversation, Holly knows lots about the challenges of raising young children.
In fact she’s built an entire virtual summit around addressing these challenges, and thriving (both you, and your kids thriving, I mean.)

Click here to sign up for Holly’s upcoming, amazing Toddler Play Conference – I am a speaker once again and so excited to be a part of this conference!

In today’s conversation, Holly shares her knowledge of ADD and ADHD. Specifically we discuss how to know if your child has one of these neurodiversities, what to do around this whole subject that is helpful, and what to avoid doing.

Key links below – hope you enjoy this episode of We Turned Out Okay!

Key Links

Click here to register for the Toddler Play Conference, which begins Thursday 4/22/21! You can watch all the presentations for free in real time, and it’s all online so you get to do it in your PJs if you wish!

Holly talks about The Explosive Child by Ross Greene… Click here for this seminal book.

I interviewed Tanya Trainor of Miss Tanya’s Nursery Schools in an early episode of We Turned Out Okay; click the following link to listen! https://weturnedoutokay.com/167

If you’d like to read my first book, Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, for free, click here.

My masterclass, What’s the pandemic doing to my child?, is SOLD OUT – before we even made it out of the Early Bird pricing! If you are signed up, I can’t wait to work with you on this important topic!
If you missed out on this one, stay tuned because I’ll be offering other masterclasses soon.
In fact, sign up for my free weekly newsletters, https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly, to find out about the next masterclass before the general public!

The We Turned Out Okay Playbook, my subscription-only, quality monthly playbook for parents, is going digital! Starting with the May issue you can now get this essential tool for parental well-being either in your physical American snail mailbox, or digitally, if you live outside of the US – or if you’d rather enjoy a digital, than physical, copy!
Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/playbook for details, and to subscribe.

Video, links, and show notes for this episode are all located at https://weturnedoutokay.com/361

Thanks for being here!

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Listen to this conversation as well as the 360-plus-episode back catalog of We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Stitcher Podcasts

 

360.5: Pandemic survivor’s guilt

My coaching client is celebrating so much: vaccines, in-person schooling and a new friend for her daughter! For me, this picture evokes those good feelings.

There is no manual for emerging from a pandemic, just as there is none for living through one.
So my private coaching client Kate’s questions might be very familiar to you:
– “Am I being selfish?” (To send her child to in-person school, or summer camp.)
– How do we keep “the comfort of closeness” we’ve had during all this, but still foster a kid’s independence?
– What about kids’ physical safety – when they are not right next to us, when they are off doing normal childhood things (like school or summer camp)?
This is usually an off week for the podcast, but in speaking with Kate, the concerns she brought up and the stuff she is dealing with felt extremely relevant to what you are likely experiencing right now.
If you, like Kate – like me – are wondering about any of this, you are going to LOVE this episode.
Join us!

Key Links

In this conversation Kate shares about value she got from my book, Educating Happy Kids. For this and my other books, go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/books.

Click here to register for the Toddler Play Conference, which begins Thursday 4/22/21! If you have young children you won’t want to miss this, Holly Peretz’s second annual deep dive into living, dare I even say enjoying life, with toddlers. You can watch all the presentations for free in real time, and it’s all online so you get to do it in your PJs if you wish!

My masterclass, What’s the pandemic doing to my child?, is SOLD OUT – before we even made it out of the Early Bird pricing! If you are signed up, I can’t wait to work with you on this important topic!
If you missed out on this one, stay tuned because I’ll be offering other masterclasses soon.
In fact, sign up for my free weekly newsletters, https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly, to find out about the next masterclass before the general public!

Video, links, and show notes for this episode are all located at https://weturnedoutokay.com/360.5

Thanks for being here!

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Listen to this conversation as well as the 360-plus-episode back catalog of We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Stitcher Podcasts

The pandemic impact on kids’ physical health

Kids are still kids, even in a pandemic. That is both wonderful, and terrifying. Let me help you get your child’s behavior under control so it can be wonderful and not terrifying 🙂

I am excited to share this fourth letter in my series on “repercussions the pandemic is having on children.”

First, we looked at social development (click here to read that one.)
Then we talked about emotional development (click here to read that one).
Last week we considered mental health – click here for that newsletter –
and finally today will discuss physical health, the challenges the pandemic has brought in this area, and some ideas for how you can get good physical health into your child’s life!

(BTW these free newsletters will continue, with lots of ideas on other relevant topics if you are a parent, so stay tuned!)

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Today we’re talking about physical health.

When I think of physical health I inevitably think of the old adage “use it or lose it.”

Years ago when I first developed the tendon problems that have been with me for nearly a decade now, I began to truly understand the relationship between tendons, bones, and muscles.

One of the first things my physical therapist did was to get the inflammation out of the tendons. (For me that meant massaging out scar tissue, which was super painful, but ultimately so worth it. After eight months of being unable to walk more than a few steps due to tremendous pain, suddenly my muscles and tendons were healing. Within a very few months they were bearing the weight of my body, for the first time in nearly a year.)

I had spent all that time not using my leg muscles and as a result they atrophied.
Like, a lot.
As in, muscles on your leg – for example, shin muscles – that have a convex appearance (they round outward)… In me those muscles were concave.
I needed to push my leg to go backwards, when we began doing “water physical therapy.” My hamstring literally couldn’t pull my leg backwards!

Use it or lose it.

In the pandemic, this phrase is meaningful because it’s helped me remember a hierarchy of physical needs, for myself and my kids:
Continue reading “The pandemic impact on kids’ physical health”

Supporting children’s mental health right now

Tapping into my child development expertise, this is the third in a series on the repercussions of the pandemic on children…

A few weeks ago we looked at social development (click here to read that one.) Last week we talked about emotional development (click here to read that one). We’ll round out the series next week looking at physical health, so stay tuned!

If you’ve got any friends who might find the series relevant, you can invite them to sign up for these free weekly newsletters at the following link: https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly…

I would feel so honored if you shared. Because it means that not only are you getting a lot out of what I teach, but you know that someone else will too. Let’s spread this important information far and wide!
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Today we’re talking about mental health.

My youngest is not getting his usual enjoyment out of skiing, this year, in Covid.

No hangout time in the lodge. No going up in the lift with buddies. (Not even seeing buddies almost at all.)

In all the unhappiness his boots have started to hurt him. Poor guy! There’s nothing worse than skiing with boots that hurt.

But curiously, the boots only hurt when Jay is not actually skiing.

When he’s on the snow headed down the mountain, with the fresh air all around him and a song in his heart, his feet do not hurt.

This is so telling.

Continue reading “Supporting children’s mental health right now”