How was your week? (First week of April 2020)

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on April 3, 2020 in complicated and difficult family stuff, Coronavirus, Good parenting skills

Happy Friday!

This week I wanted to:
– have one coronavirus-free newsday
– make 3 main-meal lunches
– kick off OkayCon 2020, the FREE Virtual Summit going on all throughout April 2020

Here is the video I made sharing those intentions:

Weekly Friday Assessment

Today at 11 AM EST I did a YouTube live to share about my week!
And I asked you: how did your week go?
Click “play” below:

Notes for the Weekly Assessment Video above (the Friday one : )

How was your week? I hope it was at least all right <3
Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/contact to share – and if you can, please include one positive thing, no matter how small : )

The way that we get through this “double” pandemic, of coronavirus, and fear, is through supporting each other!

So I’m doing these weekly Monday assessments and Friday intentions videos to help us both stay on track!

Huge thanks to:
Dan Blank of We Grow Media, for letting me bring you the weekly assessment that I learned how to do from Dan!
Check out Dan’s Creative Shift podcast, and the Creative Shift Mastermind, at http://wegrowmedia.com!

Mark McGuinness of the 21st Century Creative podcast, for reading out Thomas Hardy’s The Darkling Thrush, my inspired moment of the week!
You can listen to Mark read this beautiful poem at: https://www.markmcguinness.com/the-darkling-thrush-thomas-hardy

The wonderful people in the Ninja Parenting Community! (Become one, and get support you need right now at the Friends & Family rate, at https://weturnedoutokay.com/joinnpc

Janine Halloran of http://encourageplay.com, and Heather Maguire of http://prismbehavior.com, for being this week’s OkayCon 2023 FREE Virtual Summit guests!
Watch their presentations at: http://okaycon.com

Wishing you a good weekend,
Cheers!
Karen

What is possible? Coronavirus update 5

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on March 26, 2020 in Coronavirus, Good parenting skills

In today’s video I talk about a few things:
– the daily check-in call a friend and I have established, in which we trade inspirational calendar/book entries
– the idea that, even in a frightening and worrisome time like we are having now, many things can and will go right
– a wonderful Smart Passive Income podcast episode, “What to do when you are laid off,” in which Pat asks the question “What is possible?”
– My upcoming interview for the April 2020 OkayCon Virtual Summit with Andy Murphy, author of The Secure Dad and an expert in home and family safety and security

I combine all these ideas into one overarching thought:

Good things are possible right now, too.

What’s good in your life right now? How are you staying positive? Let me know!

In our Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1607987166145505/

in Instagram:
http://instagram.com/weturnedoutokay

in Twitter:
Tweets by weturnedoutokay

All during next month’s OkayCon Virtual Summit we’re having live watch parties, so we can keep each other company in this era where we all need that!

Find out details about the summit itself:
http://okaycon.com

We will get through this together <3
Cheers!
Karen
Karen Lock Kolp, M.Ed. of https://weturnedoutokay.com
Helping parents change kids’ behavior from bad to good, feel happy inside, and TRULY enjoy family time : )

323: 32 Ways to occupy stuck-at-home kids (organized by amount of adult input!)

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on March 24, 2020 in Coronavirus, early childhood, Good parenting skills

During our Ninja Parenting Community live members only call last week, many members expressed frustration with all the lists of activities coming at us, but the lists are often in a somewhat disorganized fashion.

So I wanted to give you a list, organized by how much time/input is required by us parents!

Here are the 28+ ways to occupy your kiddo, organized by amount of adult input:

(NPC members: click here for this post in our Coronavirus Resources Forum; the post includes a video tape recording of this episode)

A few caveats, this will definitely depend on a child’s age. A two-year-old will not be able to be as independent in making yarn dolls, for example, as seven or eight-year-old would be. But hopefully there’s something in here for everyone!

1. Minimum adult input activities: Continue reading “323: 32 Ways to occupy stuck-at-home kids (organized by amount of adult input!)” →

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“How do I handle weeks and possibly months of this?” – Coronavirus Update 4

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on March 22, 2020 in Coronavirus, Good parenting skills

“How do we get through weeks or potentially months like this?”
We talked about looking at what is right in front of us instead of trying to know the future (this is something that I need to keep in mind, as well as anybody, so very helpful part of our talk : )
We discussed mindfulness, and I shared this app from the VA.

“I feel guilty, and overwhelmed, trying to work while leaving my young child to his own devices. What can be done about this?”
I also gave us all permission to not feel guilty.
We are doing the best that we can, and the more guilt we feel, the less we can do our best.

Get updates like this right into your inbox as they’re happening:
https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly

And many hugs for you as we come through this! We will get through it. And we will get through it together <3

Why are kids clingy?

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on February 26, 2020 in Child development, Good parenting skills

Happy Wednesday!

FYI: I go in depth on how to handle a clingy child in the free, live case study I am teaching at 2 PM EST today! Details below : )
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Earlier this week I did a Magic Words for Parents video, all about how terrifying it is for children when we do not “see” them.

In other words, when we invalidate their experience. When we tell them “there’s no such thing as ghosts,” or “stop crying, there is nothing to be afraid of.”

Today I want to combine that idea was something parents often confront: clingy kids.

– Kids who only want you, and no one else.
– Kids who cry when you leave daycare.
– Kids who cling to your leg when it’s time for you to say goodbye.
– Kids who insist that you stay with them as they fall asleep at night.

Why are kids clingy?

It’s a developmental thing, first and foremost.
We first see stranger anxiety in kids when they are around the age of learning to crawl/walk. Children’s growing brains do this because, now that they have the capacity to walk away, what’s to stop them from wandering away from the people who care for them?
It’s stranger anxiety that stops them.
Clinginess.

As kids get a bit older, we have the developing brain to thank again for clinginess – as their brains grow, so does their capacity for imagination.
Which brings the idea of monsters, fear of the dark, and other fears into our children’s minds.
(I am doing a live case study on this clingy behavior at 2 PM this afternoon! Click here to watch!)

How does not seeing our kids interact with clingy behavior?

Paradoxically, kids who feel invalidated can become more clingy, not less.

Continue reading “Why are kids clingy?” →

Valentine’s Day with kiddos

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on February 8, 2020 in Blog Post, Feeling happy inside, Good parenting skills

Valentine’s Day is a bit different when you have little ones running around, isn’t it?

In my dating years I was never a fan of Valentine’s Day. I was much more likely to band together with a gang of college buddies and listen to a lot of Melissa Etheridge…

Until I met Ben (the 22-time winner of the Husband of the Year award – that’s how you’ll know him if you listen to my show.)

The first Valentine’s Day we were dating, I was offered a housesitting job in a sweet, tiny little hill town in western Massachusetts.

Mostly, I was dog sitting, for this great big dog named Susie. Before the owners left they told me “we’re expecting snow, so feel free to crank up the wood stove, use the snowshoes in the mudroom, and if you’re dating somebody they are totally welcome too!”

The expected snow turned into a massive blizzard – and somehow, Ben found his way through it, driving all the way from Boston, scraping snow off street signs in the tiny little hill town, and ultimately finding the house’s dirt road by almost sheer luck.

And we had the most romantic, fun, and memorable Valentine’s Day!

Fast forwarding a few years and two kids, it got a little harder to cultivate that same sense of romance.

But we enjoyed the heck out of our Valentine’s Days with little kiddos, and I wanted to share some of what we did, so that you can enjoy your Valentine’s Day, with your family!

1. Make it as un-commercial as possible.
Try to get yourself back to the basic elements of fun time with family: the coziness of spending time together, snuggled up and reading books on the couch in pajamas. Or bundling up and spending time outside together, in a snowball fight or snow fort building, or just a walk to a favorite place in nature (if you don’t have any snow).

2. Bake something together.
Heart-shaped pretzels, banana bread, sugar cookies, or something else that feels a little celebratory.

3. Put the kids to bed early.
One great thing about little kids: they totally can’t tell time! So if 730 is their usual bedtime, back it off by an hour and give yourself some extra grown-up time, whether with your honey, with old friends listening to Melissa Etheridge, or cozy and quiet time with yourself.

I wanted to get you thinking about Valentine’s Day a little early, so you’ve got a chance to plan.
Because if you don’t plan, oftentimes a special day feels rushed, or is gone before you know it.

Also! This coming week I have a Valentine’s Day gift for you!
I will share details in the midweek newsletter. I am very excited about it and I bet you will be too : )

Wishing you a great weekend!
Cheers,
Karen

PS – Will you be my Valentine? I have a special Valentine’s gift exclusively for newsletter subscribers… You can get newsletters just like this one directly into your inbox, too, and it’s all free… Click here to subscribe!

316: Beliefs create reality. So, what do you believe?

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on February 4, 2020 in Feeling happy inside, Good parenting skills

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll down to the very bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!
What we believe influences everything: our thoughts, our interactions, our relationships, and in the end our reality.
But it can be really hard to nail down what we actually believe.
In today’s episode I take you into my beliefs, show you how I figured out what they are, and most importantly help you clarify your own.
It’s a master class in getting the reality that you want most – both as a parent and as a person. I hope you find this episode helpful!

Click weturnedoutokay.com/316 for a cheat sheet on how to define your beliefs, and on the links that come up in today’s episode.

Also – Throughout February, in Instagram, I am posting my beliefs!
Click Instagram.com/weturnedoutokay (or find @weturnedoutokay in the app) to see them!
Thanks for listening!

Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter

Each week I send out a couple parenting newsletters, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos. (In today’s episode I talk about the most recent newsletter, on the role kindness plays in improving my health, as I have lived with a tendon disorder for eight and half years.)
We’re doing a series right now on “Kids gone sideways,” so you can learn what to do when even the basics are a challenge!
Useful stuff.
Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week!

Today’s episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, who has created some great resources to help your child handle it when the going gets tough!
Listen to today’s show to find out how to get 15% off your order, and then
Click copingskillsforkids.com/okay to check out Janine’s Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks.
Continue reading “316: Beliefs create reality. So, what do you believe?” →

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No respect, or, the basics of successful potty training

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on January 29, 2020 in Blog Post, Good parenting skills, Potty Training

Happy Wednesday!

FYI: This is the third in my “Kids gone sideways” newsletter series, about how we can get back on track when our kids drive us crazy .
Click here for the first in the series, about the intersection of our own self-worth and our children’s hangry meltdowns, and click here for the story of my second-worst day of potty training ever. And stay tuned for next week’s where I’ll share a critical tool for handling those meltdowns!
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“Mom… You’re always making me!”

That’s what 3-year-old Jason said to me one day while he was potty training.

We were at a big family gathering, and he was resistant to the idea of coming to “try” on the potty.

I couldn’t understand why it was such a problem for him – his big brother had been fine with trying!

Why couldn’t he just amiably come to the potty, have a seat, and see if any potty action happened?

This had been going on for weeks, me bringing him to the potty to try, and him being very unhappy about it.

Even if he succeeded at trying, the being made bothered him to no end. He hated that I could assert that kind of authority over him.

At this particular family gathering, I was stressed out. I had these horrible visions of Jason, wetting one of the immaculate dining room chairs – or heaven forbid even the carpet – amidst all these people.

I worried for little Jay’s feelings of embarrassment and humiliation.
But I mostly worried for my OWN feelings of embarrassment and humiliation.

All I could think was, if the worst happened, who would be to blame?
The parent, that’s who.

Hence the “trying.” Continue reading “No respect, or, the basics of successful potty training” →

“It’s the middle of the night and my child is awake. What do I do?” | Podcast Episode 308

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on December 10, 2019 in Child development, Good parenting skills

This question came directly from a ninja parent with this problem:
“I can’t identify a trigger but [my three-year-old] wakes up sometime around 1 to 3 AM and is just wide-awake and mad that it’s not morning yet. Any tips on sleep stuff?”

In this episode we talk about what to do when your child wakes up in the middle of the night and doesn’t want to go back to sleep.

Join us!

Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter

Each Wednesday I send out a Parenting Newsletter, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos.
Past editions have included how to make it so your child wins the parent lottery (even if you did not), and helping when your child is frightened.
Useful stuff.
Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week!

Today’s episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, who has created a great resource to help your child handle it when the going gets tough!
Listen to today’s show to find out how to get 15% off your order, and then
Click copingskillsforkids.com/okay to check out Janine’s Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks.

Link to this post: weturnedoutokay.com/308
Continue reading ““It’s the middle of the night and my child is awake. What do I do?” | Podcast Episode 308″ →

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How to stop school from screwing up your young child, Part 3 | Podcast Episode 304

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on November 12, 2019 in Good parenting skills

NPC Cyber Monday special: 30% off of annual Ninja Parenting Community membership… Get on the waiting list (and get 7 of my best parenting resources – for free) by clicking weturnedoutokay.com/cybermonday!

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“Fortunately the children have no words to define the panic and anger they feel at constant violations of natural order and sequence fobbed off on them as quality in education.” – Jon Taylor Gatto, Dumbing Us Down

Everyone likes to know what is going on, we like to have some context in our lives.

So do our kids! In this installment of our “How to stop school from screwing up your child” series, we discuss what aspects of school can sew confusion in children, how detrimental that truly is, and what we can do about it.

Cheat sheet on helping kids feel secure, sure of themselves – as well as the key links that come up in today’s episode – are available at weturnedoutokay.com/304

Plus in Parenting News:
This fantastic documentary about the life of Fred Rogers. As I share here, I couldn’t understand why it would be rated PG-13. And then I started watching it.
(Here is the newsletter I wrote about this documentary: How I frightened my three-year-old.)

Ninja parents: I mention in today’s Parenting News segment that I just created a forum post in NPC inviting you to share a piece of news that you would like to see featured in this space. Click here to read the post, and to share your Parenting News!

Join us!

Continue reading “How to stop school from screwing up your young child, Part 3 | Podcast Episode 304” →