Nothing but flowers

I’ve had an old Talking Heads song in my head for the last little while.

It’s called (Nothing but) Flowers, and it is truly speaking to my pandemic experience right now.

It’s not a perfect correlation. But this song tells of a future in which everything’s changed.
“This was a Pizza Hut
Now it’s all covered with daisies…

I miss the honky tonks,
Dairy Queens, and 7-Elevens…”

The song doesn’t tell us why the Pizza Hut is all covered with daisies, or where the Dairy Queens and 7-Elevens went.
It seems as if the singer doesn’t really know himself:

“And as things fell apart
Nobody paid much attention…”

But he’s missing things that used to be so common and now are just gone:

Continue reading “Nothing but flowers”

Setting an intention for the new year

I think best when I do not feel cluttered.

(Not that I have a super clean house or anything! When children share the chores, I believe it’s best to set expectations a little lower. We make sure the house is tidy and sanitized, and that’s good enough for us.)

I simply notice that when there are fewer books on the shelf, clothes in the closet, or mustard types in the refrigerator, it’s easier for me to make choices about what I’ll read, wear, or eat.

In this is a time of year when we can look around, take stock, and decide to make some changes.

It’s also a time when we can feel overwhelmed, very easily.
By our own expectations or someone else’s judgment of something we care about.

Only recently have I realized: I’ve been judging myself on several different kinds of clutter. Continue reading “Setting an intention for the new year”

354: Goals and Words and a “kind 2021”

Greetings and best wishes for 2021!! This is my annual goals and sharing of the Word of the Year. (Last year’s: ENOUGH. I apparently was really prescient in January 2020… This year’s: EXHILARATED. Should be fun!)
As with everything in the pandemic, it’s different from other New Year’s episodes that have come before. But I hope it’s helpful for you as you create a good life, and a good year, for your family and yourself.

Some of my goals last year I completely, epically failed at bringing about.
Some of them I did a little bit better with.

One of the most important things I learned was to make a goal be “a place to come from,” rather than something to work towards. Seriously, this has been a huge game-changer for me.

I share about that process and give you ideas for trying it out yourself today.

Finally I read you one of my most recent newsletters, “Hello 2021! Please be kind to us.”
You can get these newsletters delivered for free right into your inbox just by signing up for one of my free guides available at weturnedoutokay.com… Or go to weturnedoutokay.com/weekly

Key Links:
Click weturnedoutokay.com/312 for last year, January 2020’s Goals and One Word episode. Listening back I was such a pre-pandemic naïve little baby then! I’ve grown a lot in 2020. I bet you have too. Ultimately this is a good thing, I think. We are such badasses now!

Click here for a book I am loving, 100 Truths You Will Learn Too Late by Luca Dellanna

Click weturnedoutokay.com/books to see the parenting books I have written

Click here for my most recent newsletter, “Hello 2021! Please be kind to us.”

Click weturnedoutokay.com/354 to watch the video of today’s episode.

Cheers! I hope 2021 is REALLY kind to you <3

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Get my best advice for handling the challenges that come up on your parenting journey, through the We Turned Out Okay podcast:

Listen in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Stitcher Podcasts

 

Changing bras

Hi Friends,

Before we get started I just want to apologize to any of you who might not care to know very much about the undergarments of your favorite child development expert : )
But this was the letter that was in my heart to write today. There’s a very good reason, one I hope you’ll find relevant to your life!
But I completely understand if you want to not read today’s letter.
Don’t feel that you must. I’ll be back next week with another newsletter. (And perhaps it will not contain such… intimate subject matter…
If you’d like my next newsletter to be delivered right into your inbox, click here: weturnedoutokay.com/weekly.)
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Prior to becoming a mother I had always believed that wearing a bra meant strapping yourself into serious foundational support.
Going out into the world? Going to be seen by anyone but yourself, or your closest family?
Time to harness up!

Discovering that there were bras meant for comfort was a relation. As I say this happened only after I had children. Continue reading “Changing bras”

One thing I cannot live without

Hi Friends,

I’ve been working on the We Turned Out Okay Playbook now for many months, and Issue 1/August 2020 is finally out! [Enrollment for Issue 1 wraps up on 8/1/2020… Enrollment for Issue 2/September 2020 begins mid-August : ]
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/playbook for more information and to subscribe…
Also, there is a music component to the Playbook that I describe more in depth in today’s newsletter. So read on for that : )
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This is the latest in my summer-long series, taking you on my journey of recovering from overwhelm and burnout and learning ways to sustainably keep going. Click here for the first installment, “Feeling guilty,” and click here for last week’s update, “What is in our control?”

This week, music is on my mind. Continue reading “One thing I cannot live without”

I didn’t think it was going to work, but it did

Hello! This is the latest in my summer-long series, taking you on my journey of recovering from overwhelm and burnout and learning ways to sustainably keep going. Click here for the first installment, “Feeling guilty.”

First of all, how are you today?
I hope you are hanging in there!
I’m still having good success with the subject of last week’s newsletter, feeling better now that I’m not “obsessively checking” the Internet.
I even noticed that my tendon disorder is better – my arms and hands bother me less – when I am not scrolling, pinching, tapping, or swiping.
(Click here to read last week’s newsletter, “The first thing that’s helping me overcome burnout and overwhelm”)

However, I do have a sore knee.
This started with a strengthening workout – my first in about three weeks. I should have remembered that I can’t jump in at full strength, after not working out for three weeks. But I didn’t remember.

I was midway into a hamstring exercise, when suddenly my knee was screaming. Continue reading “I didn’t think it was going to work, but it did”

333: How are you holding up? 3 ways to keep going

I chose this picture for today’s episode because, for some reason, the idea that butterflies have no idea that we’re in a pandemic is helping me feel better about the whole thing

“I feel like I’m completely alone trying to meet completely insatiable needs for days on end.”
That is what one of the moms in my online coaching practice, the Ninja Parenting Community, wrote early last week.

She’s not the only one. Not by a longshot!
In this week’s episode I share my best ideas for getting through a crisis.
Even a slow-motion, simultaneously-terrifying-and-tedious, pandemic-induced crisis like the one we’re in now in June 2020.

If your energy, patience, and/or well-being is flagging, first of all let me offer HUGE hugs!
Listen to this episode for some practical things you can do to get through the toughest of these tough times.

Join us!

Links that come up today:

Parenting Masterclass
For the all-summer-long live Masterclass series, “Parenting in Place,” which features lots of WTOO beloved guests and friends, like Audrey Monke, Jessica Lahey, and Devorah Heitner, click here! (I’m signed up for it, and I hope you’ll sign up too!)

Continue reading “333: How are you holding up? 3 ways to keep going”

320: Kids and tech: what you need to know

Screens are here to stay – which is awesome on the one hand, and completely frightening on the other.
Especially when it comes to little kids.
It’s so hard to know:
– what is the right amount of screen time
– what is damaging or detrimental
– how to come up with guidelines about this in the first place
– how to implement those guidelines in the second

We discuss all of this today – in fact, we are talking kids and tech all month!

Join us as we kick off with a show about the basics:
Good guidelines to keep in mind with kids and technology, and also how you can implement those guidelines.
Click play to dive in!

Here’s a cheat sheet for this episode:

The guidelines –
1. We all need boredom in our lives.
Having digital (or nondigital, for that matter) distractions for every moment when we might feel bored creates people who do not know how to amuse themselves.
It even creates people who don’t know themselves.
So while it might not feel great, making sure that kids have a chance to be bored and need to figure out how to amuse themselves is super important.

2. Less is more.
The more time digital devices spend turned over and put away on a high shelf, the better.

3. Don’t let tech interfere with human connection and bonding.

How to implement the guidelines –
1. Pick your time with care.
2. Put the tech away, for lots of every day.
3. Always, ALWAYS be sure to watch YouTube along with your kids.
As kids and media specialist Devorah Heitner says, “there is no safe way for young children to watch YouTube alone.”
4. Mind your own tech use as well.

Here are the links that come up in today’s episode:
The newsletter I did about YouTube, the most dangerous place on the Internet.
(And here is where you can sign up to get future newsletters delivered right into your inbox : )

Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, a great PBS show

Anti-bullying expert Brooks Gibbs invites kids to try and bully him

https://weturnedoutokay.com/joinnpc, the place where you can work closely with me to solve your biggest parenting challenges, feel happy inside, and truly enjoy family time <3

Today’s episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, who has created a great resource to help your child handle it when the going gets tough!
Listen to today’s show to find out how to get 15% off your order, and then
Click copingskillsforkids.com/okay to check out Janine’s Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks.

 

Thanks for listening and reading!

Hangry meltdowns and self-worth

The idea for this newsletter came directly from one mom’s post in the private coaching community that I run. Right now you can try out the community for $1 for your whole first month! Click here for details.
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It’s so easy to blame ourselves for our children’s meltdowns.

Especially if they are of the “hangry” variety.

After all, isn’t it our responsibility to make sure that they get fed when they are hungry?
… And, doesn’t being hungry lead to temper tantrums?
… And, who is supposed to be feeding these kids anyway?

We can be so judgmental of ourselves, and that is way worse than when others are judgmental of us.

I’m starting a newsletter series today on how, in practical terms, we can handle the basics of “kids gone sideways”…
When they are in a big meltdown.
When they have potty accidents.
When they’re disrespectful.

And step one is to know that it’s absolutely not our fault when hangry meltdowns occur!

(Or any kind of meltdown, for that matter.) Continue reading “Hangry meltdowns and self-worth”

Controlling behavior, consequences, and connection with your young child | Podcast Episode 311

Continuing in this end-of-year “big idea” line of thinking, one of our beloved Ninja Parenting Community members recently asked a huge, and great question:

“How can I relax and enjoy our relationship more and not feel like I’m always on the edge of discipline mode or like I should have handled things differently [with my 3-year-old]?”

Effectively she’s asking: do I have to control my young child’s behavior all the time, or is there anything else besides that?

Today’s episode is my response.

Video, the notes I posted in NPC, and links to everything we talk about are located at weturnedoutokay.com/311

Join us!

Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter

Each Wednesday I send out a Parenting Newsletter, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos.
We’re doing a series right now on what to do when you feel like a failure, and who among us hasn’t felt like that at some point?
Useful stuff.
Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week!

Continue reading “Controlling behavior, consequences, and connection with your young child | Podcast Episode 311”