Changing bras

Hi Friends,

Before we get started I just want to apologize to any of you who might not care to know very much about the undergarments of your favorite child development expert : )
But this was the letter that was in my heart to write today. There’s a very good reason, one I hope you’ll find relevant to your life!
But I completely understand if you want to not read today’s letter.
Don’t feel that you must. I’ll be back next week with another newsletter. (And perhaps it will not contain such… intimate subject matter…
If you’d like my next newsletter to be delivered right into your inbox, click here:

Prior to becoming a mother I had always believed that wearing a bra meant strapping yourself into serious foundational support.
Going out into the world? Going to be seen by anyone but yourself, or your closest family?
Time to harness up!

Discovering that there were bras meant for comfort was a relation. As I say this happened only after I had children.
It started with nursing bras, many of which were delightfully pajama-like.
So much about bringing a baby into the world is painful and difficult. I rejoiced in the idea of something comfortable and supportive, even if it was just a bra.

After I stopped nursing, I found I still wanted that comfort. I wanted that idea of “your day is done, it’s time for a break.”
Slipping into something more comfortable meant literally that.

And so for at least the last 15 years or so I have enjoyed changing from what I think of as daytime bras, to what I think of as sleeping bras.
Exchanging the daytime bra for the sleeping bra has come to mean a complete shift emotionally, from work mode, to rest mode.

This has only become more true after I was hospitalized recently with diverticulitis.
I have been thinking very deeply about how I take care of myself, and I’ve known that I’ve been hitting the daytime-bra mentality – that of hard work and doing for others – way too hard.

But I didn’t think of it that way at first.
When I have felt tired after getting out of the hospital, the first thing I’ve noticed is that my daytime bra gets uncomfortable.
It cinches, and pinches.

But only when my body is telling me “it’s time to stop working and rest now.”
When I wake up in the morning I am very happy to put on that daytime bra.

To me this represents the idea that I get a lot done in the mornings, both creatively and in my private life.
I love the feeling of putting on a fresh clean daytime bra in the mornings.

But long about late afternoon or early evening, as I say, that same daytime bra starts to get constricting. Uncomfortable.

It is then that I have started to recognize the need to be done with thinking about work.
And on my best days, it is then that I change from the daytime bra to the sleeping bra.

The sleeping bra represents a completely different mindset, one that is not self-sacrificing but instead self affirming.

It means a cup of tea and a good book.

It means laughter and conversation with my family.

It means a good day was had, and now it’s time to rest.

That’s what a change of bra does for me.

How do you shift modes?
Have you recognized this as something that is important in your life? (Not necessarily with a bra – perhaps for you, it’s not even a clothes thing, but instead closing the curtains, or starting a fire in your fireplace, or sitting down for your evening meal.)

I’d love to hear about it. And I’m wishing you the best of both modes, creative/work, and comfy/cozy : )


PS What’s up on the We Turned Out Okay Podcast?
This week I get to speak with author Katherine Reynolds Lewis!

Katherine has written one of my very favorite books, The Good News about Bad Behavior, and our conversation ranges over so much that I bet will be relevant to your life.

Katherine encourages us to ask a question that can really help us get into the best parenting mindset: “In 25 years what will matter to me?”
Listen by going to:

PPS If you’d like to have an empowering 2021, there is still room in the only group coaching program I’m planning to offer next year!

Enrolling in the 2021 Year of Empowerment Program means you will spend 2021:
– Getting good behavior from your children
– Advocating for them, helping them love learning and get the best education possible
– Building community for you and your family
– Feeling good about getting the self-care time that you need and deserve

When enrolling you have the option of paying in full, or paying in installments (this has been the most popular plan by far : )

Learn the details of the program (and my Year-End Special, 1/3 off the cost) by clicking the link below:

A Year of Empowerment