Instilling values, throwing rocks, and how I screwed up with the WTOO Book Club

Hey Friends,

WTOO Book Club: I screwed up last week, and prevented some of you from being able to attend last week’s Book Club meeting.
My error was due to the administrative nightmare I created, trying to move as quickly as possible to get the book club open and get you the link, if you wanted to be a part of it.

I am SO sorry!

If you want to be a part of the WTOO Book Club – even if you attended last week – please click this link to sign up for this week’s, and future meetings:

This week’s WTOO Book Club chapter is all about “the Why of the parent ninja.”

It’s about values, and how we instill them in our children.

In this week’s meeting I’ll share a story about the time I was invited to throw a rock through one of my school’s plate glass windows, and how the values instilled in me shaped the way I acted that day.

(To read a little more on my thinking around instilling values in children, read on.)

One thing this pandemic has given us lots of time to do, is think.

Most of the time I can get my brain into a positive way of thinking – of course, the more time I spend looking at news reports and worrying, the less true that is – so probably like you, I have had to work extra hard to stay positive.

For me, that’s meant thinking on what values I am instilling in my children.

As I grew up, I saw the following poem on the wall of my pediatrician’s office each and every visit:


If a child lives with criticism, He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, He learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, He learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, He learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, He learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, He learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise, He learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness, He learns justice.
If a child lives with security, He learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, He learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
He learns to find love in the world.
                                                                        Dorothy Lew Nolte


Looking at this poem now, with a grown-up’s eyes, I love the movement from some of the worst and most negative values possible, to the best ones, the ones that make people feel truly safe and happy and loved.

Rereading it as a grown-up, the poem also shows how parents instill values in our kids, simply by modeling them in how we live our own lives.
Simply by how we treat those we live with and encounter in the world.

It reiterates for me the importance of staying positive, even in extreme circumstances.

We are living in extreme circumstances now, in Spring 2020. What values are we instilling in our children?

That’s my Monday head-scratcher for this week : )

My hope is that thinking on that question – what values are you instilling – could help you:
– think before shouting
– be more understanding of kids’ mischief and motivations
– communicate empathy and understanding instead of condemnation and punishment
– remember that above all else, the most important thing we can do with our kids right now is help them feel a sense of connection

I know that thinking on it has helped me with all of the above.

Thanks for reading, and Cheers –

PS – WTOO Book Club!
Come share some stories, learn something, and spend an hour in good company with other parents of young children by joining the WTOO Book Club!

Click this link to join:

It’s free to join, and if you don’t have the $4.99 for the e-book we’re currently reading (it’s Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, just let me know and I’ll send you a free PDF of the book.

No matter your circumstances I want you to be able to join and help you find the tools to enjoy family time!

PPS – Grand reopening of NPC!
I have been working really hard behind the scenes on a spring cleaning for the Ninja Parenting Community, the virtual coaching practice I run online!
I’ve put in:
– A new course on “How to keep going” through exhaustion, difficult circumstances, and other common sources of struggle for parents of young children
– A new training on “How to handle your child’s angry outbursts”
– A weekly email newsletter, NPC Digest, to give members the weekly boost right into your inbox
– A weekly live, members-only call to connect and get answers to your most pressing parenting problems

and lots more!

I am reopening the community to registration a little later this week, stay tuned for details : )

We will get through this together!


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