This is the latest – and final – installment in my summer-long series, taking you on my journey of recovering from overwhelm and burnout and learning ways to sustainably keep going. Click here for the first installment, “Feeling guilty,” and click here for the most recent in the series, “One thing I cannot live without.”
First of all, how are you today?
I hope you are hanging in there!
I’ve spent the summer thinking deeply on the work that I do.
All during this season, I’ve written to you on what’s helping me overcome guilt, burnout, and exhaustion.
(The short answer:
– Slowing way, way down
– Determining what is in my control and what isn’t
– Working to be kind and not judgmental
– Incorporating seemingly frivolous things, such as light fiction, music, and laughter)
I want to wrap this series up today by sharing the fundamental lesson that I’ve learned, during this season of exploration.
It started with a feeling of unworthiness.
A feeling that how I show up for my family, my kids, how I show up for you?
It’s wrong, all wrong.
That’s how I felt earlier on in this season.
As if I could never do enough to help anyone, with all the challenges that the pandemic has raised.
As if I wasn’t enough of a professional, or enough of a parent, to be helpful.
I seriously doubted my ability to do my work.
I also seriously doubted my own worth.
The steps that I took outlined above, when we look on the surface, don’t seem as if they could be that helpful.
But they’ve been SO helpful.
They’ve been the most important things that I could possibly do.
They’ve led me to the place where not only do I understand the true value of my work. Both for you, and for myself as a person, parent, as a spouse and friend in my private life.
They’ve helped me see the true worth of what I do, and as a result the true worth of who I am.
Paradoxically, letting go of all the doubts and truly listening, to you, to members of my family, to my friends, even to myself brought me to this rare air!
And not just listening, but asking questions instead of offering advice.
Since the beginning of the pandemic I’ve worked on one thing more than anything else – to focus on real and meaningful conversations.
This has resulted in private coaching clients and members of my online group coaching practice, the Ninja Parenting Community (NPC), feeling empowered to truly live during the pandemic. (Instead of just trying to get by, holding their breath until it’s over. Anyone still doing that is not doing so well.)
It’s resulted in courses, live trainings, and offerings that are truly relevant to your life.
It’s resulted in listeners, clients, and even me, establishing good boundaries and living within them.
It’s resulted in us feeling the incredible benefits of that.
Because we protect ourselves from fear, uncertainty, and toxic people when we establish these boundaries and really hold them.
(That’s the subject of this podcast episode, episode 343, Basics Bootcamp Part 1.)
It’s resulted in the establishment of the We Turned Out Okay Playbook:
“The Playbook is a life raft families who are struggling to stay afloat.”
– Licensed Mental Health Counselor, author, and friend-of-the-podcast Janine Halloran
(Subscribers: the September issue is on the way! And if you want to subscribe but you missed September, I am working on Issue 3/October 2020! For details on October’s Playbook click here:
https://weturnedoutokay.com/playbook : )
This clarity – of connecting with you via meaningful conversations – has most importantly of all resulted in a feeling of awe in me.
For you, for all that you do.
For the work that you put into running your household, making a living, connecting with kids, spouses, loved ones, coparents.
For the creative and inspiring ways you find to keep going, even in this time of extreme hardship.
Never, never doubt your work or your worth.
You are awesome!
Always remember that I’m here for you.
We will get through this together!
What’s up on the podcast this week:
I share my secret fears as a child development expert – and my biggest hope – for you, for your kids, and for our society.
What’s up in the Ninja Parenting Community this week:
School is on all our minds this week, and NPC member Disneynerdmom asks some important questions about how to decide on what’s best for her young child’s education:
“[NPC] is one of the best uses of my energy and time.”
– Nora, Mom of a 4-year-old boy and NPC Annual Member
– How do you stay positive, when there is so much that feels wrong right now?
– How do you streamline, and make a routine, that will work for your family?
– How do you find time for yourself, and your needs?
I know how lonely and frustrating it can be, raising a family.
Even with degrees in human development, family relations, and early childhood education, I had to work really hard to figure it out.
Here’s the good news – you don’t have to do this alone!
I have created a safe space, a supportive community, where you’ll have all the tools you need to thrive and help your family thrive.
If you’re enjoying this Parenting Newsletter, click here so you can sign up to receive it in your inbox, or forward it to a friend who needs a parenting boost today.