Socks and medicine and fear and love

This image has nothing to do with today’s post, but I wanted it here to remind me of who I am coming from love for (if that makes any sense.) It’s these kids that we love. That’s who we need to remember, if we’re struggling to come from love for ourselves.

As the weather has begun changing here in New England, it’s time to transfer out of my summertime ankle-high socks and into something that keeps my legs considerably warmer.

I know that I’m making a good transition from season to season when I can feel enthusiastic about the socks I’m going into, even as I miss the socks I’m coming out of.

For years I’ve gotten these great wool socks from (of all places) Ocean State Job Lot. These socks are heaven on my feet, they are more than 80% merino wool, they stay warm when they get wet, and they just feel so good to wear. Bonus, they are like eight dollars for two pair – similar socks in Amazon are four times that.

So, an amazing deal all around!

For me, autumn is a time of celebration, where we are headed into the part of the year that feels best to me. I’m in survival mode spring and summer, just not a warm weather person.

So I do really celebrate when it’s time to put on these awesome socks!

Stay with me, I’ll come back to the socks in a moment…

As the pandemic has progressed I’ve noticed I’m getting more and more migraines.

I’ve always been prone to migraines but in the last three or four months I have experienced more of these debilitating headaches than I have for the past 13 years.

(Not coincidentally, 13 years ago is when I took control of my oldest’s education. He had been experiencing night terrors, weight loss, and other scary symptoms because the academic pressure of first grade was making him sick. As he got better, so did my migraines. As I say, not a coincidence.)

As I write about the last time I was having many migraines, I see a lot of similarities between now and then… In the pandemic so much is out of my control. So much feels out of control in any case!

No wonder I’m getting these headaches.

Fortunately, there is medicine that really helps.

The one catch with the medicine is that it works best when I take it at the very first onset of symptoms.

For me, a migraine doesn’t start as “pain.” Instead it starts as a funny feeling behind my eyes.

That’s usually in the morning. I’ve learned – rather, remembered – in the last few months that if I ignore that funny feeling, by the time the pain begins, the headache is unstoppable. Then, the best I can do is to take shelter in a darkened room and try not to throw up.

You might ask, why would I ignore that funny feeling?

If I know that there’s something that helps, why not take it immediately?

For me, it’s because migraine medicine is in limited supply. I’m allotted exactly 9 tablets each month through my health insurance. In the bad old days, 13 years ago, I used to have to buy extra tablets (because they were prescribed to me, but healthcare didn’t cover them) when I ran out of my allotted nine tablets.

They were $25 per pill after insurance.

And we are talking here in 2005 dollars, so this medicine would be even more expensive now, should I need to purchase more after my insured allowance has run out.

So I can have the mindset of “how bad is this feeling behind my eyes, how likely is it that I will get an actual migraine?” (Spoiler alert: every single one of these feelings ends up in a migraine. Every one! I should know this, because it happens every single time.)

When I’m in that mindset, I am unlikely to take the medicine because I’m afraid of a future migraine being worse, I’m afraid that I won’t have that crucial help on a day that’s somehow worse than today’s migraine.

When I think like that, I’m coming from a place of fear.

Over these last few months I’ve been thinking on the idea that we can come from just two places, fear, or love.
(It was Mariela Ortiz, a wonderful life coach and my guest in episode 342 of the We Turned Out Okay podcast, who first introduced this idea to me. So grateful for her!)

Coming from fear looks like not taking needed medicine, out of the fear that I won’t be able to get more, or that I won’t have the money for more when I need it.

And now, back to the socks…

These favorite cold weather season socks of mine, the ones that are more than 80% merino wool, feel so good on my feet, work great in ski boots? They sell out really quickly from Ocean State Job Lot.

Of course they do. They are an absolute steal!

So for the last few years I have purchased more than I needed.

Over the winter seasons I have worn through quite a few pairs, and I like to keep a little bit ahead of that.

Every year I wonder “these socks are such a good deal. Will there come a year where I can’t find them anymore, will there come a year where Ocean State Job Lot doesn’t sell them?”

Well guess what. This is that year.

So I have several pairs to take me into the fall. But for the first time ever I don’t have access to more.

And I’m absolutely terrified. (I know! About socks!)

I’m finding that I don’t want to wear the socks that I have, because I don’t want to wear them out.

So even on the coldest days I am putting on those summertime ankle-high socks, depriving myself of the warmth that the 80% merino wool, wonderful wintertime socks give.

Out of fear.

I’m writing about this to you today, and asking you:

What do you do out of fear?

What do you deprive yourself of?

How do you reason with yourself about that?

When you do this, how do you deprive yourself of love?

Because that’s where I realize this has all been heading.

I deprive myself of love when I come from this place of fear.

Well, I am done with that.

This morning I am both:
1. Wearing a sweet pair of cozy 80% merino wool socks. I’m enthusiastic about going outside and taking my walk, because my legs will be warm.

2. Writing this from the shelter of having taken my migraine medicine. I will not have a debilitating headache this afternoon, because I love myself enough to take the medicine.

So, that’s where I’m coming from today.

Socks and medicine and fear and love.

What’s your version of that?
Whatever it is, nothing good comes of coming from fear.
Everything good comes of coming from love.

I hope you take this message into your day and that it helps you have a really good one!

Cheers,
Karen

PS If you’re enjoying this Parenting Newsletter, click here so you can sign up to receive it in your inbox, or forward it to a friend who needs a parenting boost today.

 

PPS Work closely with me, to have less fear and more love in your home and family life!

There are two ways you can do this:

1. Work One-to-One with me.
If you’ve got big challenges – and who doesn’t at the moment – put my expertise in human development and coaching to work for you! I would love to help you overcome the challenges, and live the life of your dreams.
Just hit reply to this email with any questions you’ve got about working One-to-One with me.
I’m excited to talk!

2. Become a Ninja Parent by joining my online private coaching community.
The Ninja Parenting Community, NPC for short, is a place of positivity, support, and transformation.
The parents in our Community confront their challenges head-on and build the life of their dreams!

Recently in NPC:
– A mom has started getting her spouse on board with positive discipline, despite his questions of “does this stuff really work?”
– She also figured out a new kiddo bedtime routine that means both she and her husband get some much-needed time to themselves – a first in their lives as parents.
– Several Ninja Parents are establishing good boundaries, learning to stay firm as well as remain loving, because when we parents aren’t happy, nobody’s happy. And establishing good boundaries is a huge part of being happy : )

I would love to welcome you into NPC, I would love for you to see the successes in your home and family life that our members are creating!

And I’d love for you to be able to do it for free for your whole first month!
Go to:
weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC to learn more, and to join our helpful, awesome Community : )