When I fight authority (a tool for handling temper tantrums : )

For whatever reason I’ve had this song by Jon Mellencamp playing in my head for the last few weeks… And it’s got me thinking on authority, and fighting it.

Today I share a tool with you that I hope you find useful in dealing with temper tantrums and other ways that your child “fights authority.”

If you’ve got young children,
you probably remember all too vividly those newborn days, where your new baby was the Authority.
When that baby said “jump!” you said “how high?”
And then the baby grew, and you were able to call some of the shots again…

But early childhood keeps the “authority” issue in the forefront.
Because toddlers and preschoolers want to BE the authority, but they are not quite sure HOW to do that.

That’s when the temper tantrums start.
To give you an extra tool in dealing with them, I want to share a method that came up recently in the private coaching community that I run, where a mom asked:
“At home during a temper tantrum at least I can get [my three-year-old] to his room, and put him down. But out in the world – what should I do? If I continue to hold his hand he yanks and bucks and throws himself on the ground. If I try to hold him on my lap he kicks and head-butts.”

Sound familiar? If you ever deal with that or similar, try the following:
1) Remember that tantrums are part of life. They are part of the game, in fact they are developmentally necessary… And when a child has a tantrum he is fully experiencing that. So kicking and headbutting may be a part of that “full experience.” Continue reading “When I fight authority (a tool for handling temper tantrums : )”