WHY are weeknights with kids so tough? Taming Weeknight Chaos Part 1 (Podcast Episode 232)


Help me make this series about taming weeknight chaos be exactly what YOU need.

Click here to take this quick 3-question poll so I can tailor the series to your needs!

Today is the start of a new series here at We Turned Out okay!

It’s all about taming the chaotic and crazy weeknights that so many of us experience in raising kids.

We start by investigating: WHY are weeknights so tough?

For us parents, evenings – especially weeknights – are a constant slog.

I want to make this series tailored exactly to your needs, and in order to do that I need you to respond to the poll I’ve got going on this very topic!

Go to the We Turned Out Okay Facebook page to take the poll (the link is just below)…

Or if you are in the We Turned Out Okay email group, the poll has already landed in your inbox, and hopefully you’ve already written me back.

Thank you so much for helping me make this series into exactly what will help you most!

 

All The Links

I’m making it easy on you to access all the links I talk about in today’s episode:

Click here for the We Turned Out Okay Facebook page, where you can take the poll (and also catch the Magic Words for Parents video I do live each Monday at 10 AM EST : )

Click here for the Karen Lock Kolp YouTube channel, featuring a playlist of Magic Words for Parents, including this week’s which shares a phrase for when your child loses a special comfort object, like a blanky or stuffed animal.

Click here for EXTRA Magic Words for Parents, exclusive access to my patron-only feed, advanced chapters of my forthcoming book, Your Child Explained Volume 1, and other great stuff which goes way beyond what regular listeners get… Find all these awesome and exclusive extras at Patreon.com/weturnedoutokay!

I teach these great things called Parent-Ninja Tactics, which are THE key to happy parenting, and they’re only available in the Ninja Parenting Community.
I would love to teach you these and help you truly enjoy the time you spend with your kids!
Join the Ninja Parenting Community by going to weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC.

Click here to sign up for my FREE checklist and video on How to Handle Every Temper Tantrum so that you can calmly, confidently handle your child’s very next one!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/232 for every back episode of the podcast, and to read more about the top three reasons why weeknights are so challenging…

And thank you so much for listening! Continue reading “WHY are weeknights with kids so tough? Taming Weeknight Chaos Part 1 (Podcast Episode 232)”

Podcast Episode 194: “I didn’t have a lot of empathy until I became a mom” – NYT Bestselling Author Joshilyn Jackson is my guest today!

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

– – A HUGE tree fell in our yard during a buck wild nor’easter last week, and we lost power for days! (Click here to check out the video I made of the tree!) All back now and everything is okay… But I had to delay the start of our epic “How to Help Your Child Navigate the Choppy Social Waters of Life Without Getting Pulled Under Yourself or Losing Your Mind” mastercourse.
The first live module now goes up on Tuesday, November 14, giving you until Monday, November 13 to enroll!
If you can’t make it to the modules live, you’ll always be able to catch them in our password-protected online classroom – plus ask questions over the whole 6 weeks of the mastercourse in our private Survive the Social Stuff Facebook group, exclusively for those enrolled in the course.…
To learn more and sign up go to weturnedoutokay.com/socialstuff! – –

Today’s conversation is one of those awesome ones that went in a completely different direction than I had thought it would.
I knew we were going to talk about racism, and parenting, and how New York Times best-selling author Joshilyn Jackson teaches creative writing to prisoners – but when, early on in our conversation, Joshilyn shared “I didn’t have any empathy until I became a mom,” my heart just stopped.

How could that possibly be, I wondered?

And so we raced off into a discussion that will help you understand empathy as a crucial parenting skill, perhaps the most important ninja tactic of all.

You are going to LOVE it.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/194 for key links : )

Continue reading “Podcast Episode 194: “I didn’t have a lot of empathy until I became a mom” – NYT Bestselling Author Joshilyn Jackson is my guest today!”

Podcast Episode 189: Making the Impossible Possible – A Your Child Explained Episode

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

In which a coaching client of mine shows me that something I’d always thought to be truly impossible is, in fact, possible.
It brings up the question “what happens to our children when we believe something is impossible?” Alternatively, what happens to them when we believe that something is possible?

Key links at weturnedoutokay.com/189;
Click here to learn more about the Ninja Parenting Community, if you’re at your wit’s end with your child, and need some help making the impossible become possible! Continue reading “Podcast Episode 189: Making the Impossible Possible – A Your Child Explained Episode”

Podcast Episode 180: The Dangers of Overscheduling – A Your Child Explained Episode

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

It’s the beginning of the school year, if you’re listening in real time, and thus the time of year where we are all figuring out new routines, new bus routes, new sports schedules and after-school activities… Definitely a time where we can feel overwhelmed.

Today’s show answers Shelley’s question: “what are the hazards of overscheduling my kids?”

The way I see it, there are two big hazards in overscheduling.

It’s worth, whether at the beginning of the school year or whenever you hear this, understanding the dangers in putting too many items on our children’s schedules.

Only then can we understand the potential damage we’re doing, and begin to figure out how to reduce the overscheduling.

Today’s episode outlines the 2 big hazards in overscheduling, so hit play and listen in!

Please note: if you’re feeling overwhelmed about school day morning chaos, the Streamline Your Mornings 5-Day Challenge starts in less than a week! Registration closes on Sunday, September 3, so sign up for this FREE challenge now. (9/3/17: Click Here for the Waitlist.)
The challenge includes an email in your inbox outlining a step you can take to calm the overwhelm and streamline your mornings every day from Monday, September 4 through Friday, September 8. On that day you’ll also have access to my Facebook live, back-to-school Ask Me Anything, happening in the private We Turned Out Okay Facebook group.

For notes from today’s show, for key links, and to sign up for the free Streamline Your Mornings 5-Day Challenge go to weturnedoutokay.com/180! Continue reading “Podcast Episode 180: The Dangers of Overscheduling – A Your Child Explained Episode”

Podcast Episode 172: Parent Success Stories!

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Today’s episode is a celebration: the Ninja Parenting Community is one year old! That means I’ve been helping parents of young children figure out their toughest challenges for a whole year – and we’ve overcome some doozies:
– “How do I handle multiple meltdowns?”
– “What do I do with my child’s disrespectful language and shouting?”
– “I’m so overwhelmed… What with sports schedules and everything else, there’s never enough time!”

This episode is all about the sweet taste of victory; we’re highlighting success stories! Find out how one member planned and executed a great beach day with her young children, and cheer on another member as she celebrates four whole days without any meltdowns…

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/172 for key links, and to watch my appearance on the Women Inspired TV show – my own personal success story. Continue reading “Podcast Episode 172: Parent Success Stories!”

Podcast Episode 170: Kids and Food – A Conversation with Mom and Author Jeannie Marshall (Rebroadcast)

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and click the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Today’s guest, mom and author Jeannie Marshall, showing off a gorgeous frittata that she just made!

When today’s guest, Jeannie Marshall, became pregnant with their son Nico after her family relocated to Italy, she developed a fascination for how Italians introduce their babies to food, and the part that food plays in Italian children’s lives now that factory foods and agribusiness have made inroads into Italy. She details her experiences in one of my favorite books, The Lost Art of Feeding Kids.

One memorable line: Jeannie writes about when Italian mom of baby Rocco, a boy the same age as Nico who is being exposed to first foods as well, says it’s as though we North Americans are “teaching our babies not to like food.”

Our conversation, originally aired in March of 2016, reflects Jeannie and her family’s love of Italy, Italians, and Italian food – and also their first-hand experiences fighting that battle that we fight every day: getting inexpensive and tasty meals on the table (and then getting our kids to eat those meals).

Find key links and to complete notes by going to weturnedoutokay.com/170! Continue reading “Podcast Episode 170: Kids and Food – A Conversation with Mom and Author Jeannie Marshall (Rebroadcast)”

Podcast Episode 165: When Kids Want the Same Stuff Again and Again (and Again…) – A Your Child Explained Episode

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and click the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Why do kids want everything repeated, again and again?

One member of the Ninja Parenting Community might be channeling your thoughts right now: “Oh why do little kids obsess over certain movies? I have been putting Monsters Versus Aliens on every day for a month. What is going on those little brains that makes them demand the same movie so often for so long?”

Kids do this all the time… and not just with movies, they do it with books, and stories, and music, too.

In this Your Child Explained, we dig into why, exactly what’s happening in “those little brains” that makes them want everything repeated endlessly.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/165 for key links and show notes! Continue reading “Podcast Episode 165: When Kids Want the Same Stuff Again and Again (and Again…) – A Your Child Explained Episode”

137: How to Help Your Child Curb Stress and Anxiety: A Conversation with Mom and Mental Health Counselor Janine Halloran

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Lots of things can happen over the course of a day to make us all feel anxious…How does your child handle anxiety?

Today’s guest is a true play specialist.

Today licensed mental health counselor, play expert, and mom-to-2 Janine Halloran gives us some wonderful – and very specific – tools to help our kids handle stress.

True to the nature of We Turned Out Okay, my hour-long conversation with Janine covers lots more than this! Janine and her family are spending the year in California, clear across the country from their home in Massachusetts; we talk about how and why the Hallorans took on this move. We also dig into the concept of fidgets, devices to help people concentrate better – and this podcaster realizes that fidgets are more of a thing – in her own life – then she realized.

To read about Janine’s stress-busting advice, get links to some great books about play and her websites on encouraging play and teaching children coping skills, and to listen to the show click weturnedoutokay.com/137!

Today’s episode is brought to you by the Ninja Parenting Community:

Do you struggle to manage your child’s behavior at home?
Is she in trouble at school or child care?
Is he starting to think of himself as a “bad kid” – even though you know he’s not?

Get the expert advice, training courses, and support you need

To help your children, but especially to help yourself.
The Ninja Parenting Community teaches moms and dads just like you to get into their best parenting mindset and thus be happier, less stressed, and more confident in parenting and beyond.

Click here to learn more about the Ninja Parenting Community, and start worrying less and enjoying more at home!

“Trust your gut… Go with it… Help your kid.”
– Janine Halloran, in today’s conversation

As parents we often don’t realize the kind of power we have to help our children surmount the anxieties and stresses they may be feeling.

Janine suggests:
– spend time with kids and observe their behavior; kids don’t say to us “I am worried… I am stressed out…” The only way to truly understand the cause of their anxieties is observation.
– kids might be anxious for any number of reasons; even if it’s tough to determine the cause, we can still help… We can teach coping mechanisms, we can listen if our kids are able to talk about their fears, we can support them by spending time with them, talking to them, reading with them, showing them in our behavior how to best handle stress and anxiety
– we can encourage the use of fidgets! The idea of a piece of Velcro under a desk, putty or play dough to squeeze, or a small ribbon or piece of felt to hold – specifically to help people concentrate – is new to me.

Fidgets were a true revelation: it turns out I use them for myself all the time!

Maybe you do, too.
(If you’re a hair twirler, you most certainly are using a fidget : )

Key Links

Click here for Janine’s Coping Skills for Kids website; click here for her Encourage Play website. In both places you’ll find more resources and suggestions for alleviating stress and encouraging curiosity and creativity.

To listen to my first conversation with Janine, click here.

Click here to check out Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics: Key Tools to Handle Every Temper Tantrum, Keep Your Cool, and Enjoy Life With Your Young Child in Amazon; you can even read the introduction for free to determine if my book will be helpful to you.

Here is the link to Not A Box; click here for Not A Stick; click here for the Loose Parts book; and here for the book about Owen and his blanky.

134: Screwing Up And Why It’s Important – Talking With Mom and New York Times Best-selling Author Jessica Lahey (Rebroadcast)

Get a FREE copy of the book that helps you simultaneously raise kids and stay sane!

What: I’m hosting a live Q&A about the Ninja Parenting Community (not coincidentally, built to help you simultaneously raise kids and stay sane : )

When: Get your questions answered – and get your free copy of the book – on
Thursday, February 2, 2017 8 PM EST

How: Sign up just by clicking the button below!
Click Here to Register

Welcome! To listen, scroll down to the bottom of this post and press the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Diving into the archives of We Turned Out Okay, and finding wonderfIMG_1927ul shows like this one which you may not have heard before (and will get something out of even if you have heard it already), seems like a fitting start to a new year.

My guest today, Gift of Failure author Jessica Lahey, has helped me in so many ways: to be a better mom, to forgive myself when I screw up, to take the long view on mistakes, thinking not so much about epic fails but instead asking myself “how do I learn from this?” (Jess is also 1/2 of the #amwriting with Jess and KJ duo; click here to check out one of my favorite podcasts, and great if you have any interest in writing or creating!)

I know you’ll learn a lot from our conversation today, thanks for tuning in!

Today’s show is brought to you by the Ninja Parenting Community:

If you like what you hear on We Turned Out Okay, but you feel like it’s not quite enough…
If you want more personal help and advice from me…
The Ninja Parenting Community is the place for you to get that help!

– We’ve got classes, like Sanity With Kids, to help you simultaneously raise your children and retain your sanity
– Parent-Coaching calls: one “starter” call for monthly members and one each quarter for annual members
– Forums where I personally help and advise members – and where we all support each other

Now is the perfect time to join, because you get beta pricing and it’s really built out to help you most.
This coming Friday the cost will double when we leave beta, so click this link to see what it’s all about!

Want a closer look PLUS a free copy of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, the book I wrote to help you handle everything your child can throw at you?

Come to the live NPC FAQ Q&A!
This coming Thursday night, February 2, at 8 PM EST you can:
look inside the community
listen as I address lots of frequently asked questions
ask your questions!

And just for showing up at the Q&A you’ll receive a free copy of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics! Up until now the book has only been available in Amazon – get it for free at the Q&A : )

To sign up for the NPC FAQ Q&A – and for notes to today’s show, go to weturnedoutokay.com/134!

About this episode:

Several years ago, today’s guest wrote what was for me an earth-shattering piece in the Atlantic Monthly (read it here). Jessica Lahey’s article discusses an experience she had as a middle school teacher, where she realized a student had plagiarized, called the student’s mom to discuss the failing grade the student would be getting – and the mom said “you can’t fail her…3D-bookshot-wo-border I wrote that paper for her, she has too much on her plate and couldn’t do it herself.”

My guest’s article talks about how, when your mom writes your papers, you are robbed of the experience. It’s one way in which you are not learning how to fall down – by writing a bad paper – and get back up again.

Fast forward to summer 2015, when I heard Jess on the wonderful podcast The Good Life Project, discussing both the article and her new book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. Last December, I attended Jessica’s live presentation about The Gift of Failure, and she graciously offered to come on the podcast; today’s episode is the conversation we had a week or so later, and it’s a great one!

During our conversation, I share that, as a parent, I tried really hard to make sure everything was perfect for my kids when they were little.

I ask Jess: why do we parents do this? She laughs – the sympathetic laugh of a woman who has been in my shoes – and talks about how we want what’s best for them, and we also want that jolt of oxytocin that comes with being depended upon… And then shares about how she moved from encouraging this kind of dependence to seeing her relationship with her kids blossom when she started encouraging their autonomy rather than their dependence upon her.

Highlights from our conversation include:

1) the work of Carol Dweck, a researcher who focuses on the difference between a fixed and a growth mindset; believe me, we want to encourage a growth mindset, the one in which our kids look upon challenges as fun and setbacks as learning experiences instead of a reason to give up

2) the relationship between these three words: autonomy, competence, and connection; one of the major themes in The Gift of Failure, Jess illustrates that as parents, our job is to foster these three traits in our children, they are the key to a good life

3) how to give our kids the gift of failure, without feeling like failures ourselves; there’s a real mind shift that must take place to go from “oh – let me do that for you” to “hey, great job – you worked really hard and did that for yourself!”

Overall, I love our conversation because it’s clear that Jessica Lahey sees both sides of this coin, understands this from the perspective of a parent who doesn’t let her children fall down and figure out how to get back up. In her book, her live presentations, and in this interview she provides a roadmap to give our kids the gift of failure – and understand what a true gift it is.

Trouble with tantrums?

With littles, meltdowns are hard to avoid.

So I came up with the HEART method to help you:
– remain calm
– stop worrying about judginess with public tantrums
– know you’re not alone

To calmly, decisively handle every on of your child’s tantrums, click the button below!

Click Here to Get the Guide

105: When Screaming is Your Child’s First Reaction – A Your Child Explained Episode

Today, Ninja Parenting Community member Sabrina Rizk – the very same Sabrina from Tuesday’s guest interview #104 – gets help solving a problem that plagues many parents: when your child’s first reaction to something negative is to scream.

When I asked Sabrina what aspect of parenting she wanted our parent-coaching call to be about, she said “I want to talk about how to get my six-year-old to have different strategies beside screaming as her first response.”

Young Amy struggles when her cereal bowl isn’t the color she wanted; when the Lucky Charms don’t have enough charms; when Sabrina needs her to complete a chore before watching a show…

I’m sure you know the deal and have struggled through this in your own home. I know I have!

Listen in as Sabrina and I figure out how to alleviate the screaming – and read about some of the solutions we come up with – by going to weturnedoutokay.com/105!

We discuss several potential solutions to this pervasive problem, including:

1) Working hard to not react with anger or a raised voice when our child directs his or her raised voice at us

2) Deliberately lowering our voices as we get angry; often our kids will quiet down because they want to hear what we are saying, plus this tactic helps us remain calm

3) React with sympathy when natural consequences, such as “there’s not enough charms in my Lucky Charms,” occur; this way, we stand united with our child against this upsetting thing rather than being the object of their anger

Because Sabrina is a Ninja Parenting Community member, not only did we get to have this parent-coaching call but I’ll get to help her with follow-up questions in our community forums!

Click here to learn how to become a member, so I can help you with your biggest parenting struggles too!