How do we handle big parental pressures? Talking with KJ Dell’Antonia, author of the forthcoming book How to be a Happier Parent (podcast episode 237)

Talking with returning champion KJ Dell’Antonia

is always a pleasure, and this episode is maybe my favorite conversation with her yet!

KJ has got a book coming out later this month, and if you’re feeling the pressures of parenting, you are going to LOVE her book, How to be a Happier Parent.

Like so many of my favorite conversations, this one zooms around and goes in directions that I didn’t envision when we sat down to talk.

And every direction offers something valuable for you to take into your parenting life.

We talk about:

  • Why parents need something of their own – something separate from your kids – to enjoy
  • How (and why) after-school activities and sports got so crazy
  • KJ’s two key steps to handling the big, bad pressures on us parents.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/237 for the TONS of links that come up in our conversation, and also to read more about KJ’s 2-step process to deal with those pressures…

And thank you so much for listening!

[Please note: Magic Words for Parents, our series of quick phrases to help you say the right thing even in the toughest parenting moments, is on vacation until September 10… Click here for the playlist of past Magic Words in YouTube, and click here for the EXTRA Magic Words videos … get exclusive access by becoming a We Turned Out Okay Patreon patron.] Continue reading “How do we handle big parental pressures? Talking with KJ Dell’Antonia, author of the forthcoming book How to be a Happier Parent (podcast episode 237)”

Podcast Episode 203: How to “remember the good” at this time of year with Parenting Expert + Returning Champion KJ Dell’Antonia – Holiday Survival Guide Part 2

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Today’s guest, returning champion KJ Dell’Antonia of the #AmWriting with Jess and KJ Podcast, brings her best ideas for how you can really enjoy this time of year, no matter what craziness you’ve got going on in your life.

The WTOO annual Parent Holiday Survival Guide goes Beyond Audio in 2017

Each year I bring you resources I know you’ll love as you figure out how to enjoy the holidays. This year I’m psyched because not only do I have audio resources for you, to listen while you drive on endless errands, bake endless cookies, or wrap endless gifts… I’ve got video and Facebook live offerings to help you handle the holidays as well!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/203 for key links, including:
– KJ’s Happier Parent Holiday Survival Guide PDF
– The We Turned Out Okay Facebook group
– The Latest how-to video (“How to handle holiday kid craziness”)
– Lots more resources to help you handle the holidays! Continue reading “Podcast Episode 203: How to “remember the good” at this time of year with Parenting Expert + Returning Champion KJ Dell’Antonia – Holiday Survival Guide Part 2″

Podcast Episode 192: How to diminish your child’s bad behavior – A Your Child Explained Episode

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Listen to today’s episode for a quick and easy way to cut down on your child’s bad behavior : )

– – – New Course Offering: It’s agonizing to watch your child go through the social stuff of life; getting called a mean name or crybaby; getting “broken up with” by a friend, encountering sibling strife. It upsets us parents because 1) our heart breaks for our beautiful child, and 2) we don’t know what to do to help..
I’m offering something new and different that will create a new opportunity for you:
The Surviving the Social Stuff course. It’s tailored to participants’ needs, so whatever social stuff is going on in your child’s life – THAT’S what you’ll learn how to handle.
It’s super helpful as we get into the high-emotion holidays, with weekly class meetings starting Tuesday, November 7 and running right through into January.
Space is limited!!
So, if you’re struggling with anything social in your child’s life, Click Here to sign up..
Then you’ll be feeling less alone and learning new ways to Survive the Social Stuff! – – –

Click here for more information about the Surviving the Social Stuff course!
(If it’s not clickable yet, it will be soon.)

Registration for this course begins Monday, October 30…

In the meantime Click Here to Sign Up up for the free mini-course on Kids and Sharing!

It’s a small part of the upcoming Surviving the Social Stuff course, but it’ll have a HUGE impact on your parenting because whenever there’s a fight over resources (like toys, or your attention) you’ll have the perfect parent-ninja tactic right in your pocket : )

For key links, go to weturnedoutokay.com/192! Continue reading “Podcast Episode 192: How to diminish your child’s bad behavior – A Your Child Explained Episode”

147: THE Key to Being Happier At Home: A Your Child Explained Episode

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Back in episode 140, parenting author KJ Dell’Antonia gave us many more great ideas than could be digested in one conversation… So for the first time in We Turned Out Okay history she’s got 3 Your Child Explained episodes all to herself!

In our conversation KJ commented: “after a month we get tired of nagging, “… it’s easier just to load this dishwasher myself…” and then we do – and then we’re back to square one.”

Today: the one thing you can do in your parenting that makes everything else either easier or unnecessary! (Can you tell I’ve been reading The One Thing by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan?)

Click weturnedoutokay.com/147 to to listen, to sign up for tonight’s (Thursday, March 30, 2017, 8 PM EST) live, free NPC FAQ Q&A (at which you can grab a free copy of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, my e-book that helps you handle everything your little kids can throw at you) AND to sign up for the free, live Common Parenting Challenges class coming up in April!

 

Get a FREE copy of the book that helps you simultaneously raise kids and stay sane!

What: I’m hosting a live Q&A about the Ninja Parenting Community (not coincidentally, built to help you simultaneously raise kids and stay sane : )

When: Get your questions answered – and get your free copy of the book – on
Thursday, March 30, 2017 8 PM EST

How: Sign up just by clicking the button below!
Click Here to Register

And/Or:  Come to my free, live, online class on handling Common Parenting Challenges!

Why: to learn :
– how to avoid fighting about parenting stuff with your spouse
what to do when your child rebels against your daily schedule
– how to teach your young child patience
– how to handle your young child’s disrespectful “No!”

When: Thursday, April 20, 2017, 8 PM EST

Class is interactive – bring your questions!

You’ll receive a free, downloadable reference for the next time you come up against one of these challenges…

Sign up for “How to Handle 4 Common Parenting Challenges” by clicking the button below:
Click Here to Register

 

I start today’s show off by remembering KJ’s comment: “after a month we get tired of nagging, “… it’s easier just to load this dishwasher myself…” and then we do – and then we’re back to square one.”

So, what’s the key, one thing we parents can do to ensure more happiness in our parenting, with our children, and in our homes?

It’s (drumroll, please…) Follow-through.

Every time we’re inconsistent we make life with children tougher and more of a struggle – on both them and us.

Kids need our consistency to feel safe, and to trust that the limits we set up will be there the next time they push on those limits. And the next time… And the next time.

So if we, as KJ mentions, “stop nagging and just do it ourselves,” we’ve set a limit – and then failed to keep that limit in place.

Today’s conversation focuses a little bit on the 4 C’s of leadership (which I’ve amended to the 5 C’s).

Originally a business world concept, I have found that the C’s of leadership, whether 4 or 5, make a huge difference in how parents view their roles at home. Kids need a strong leader (or two), and when we realize that and step into that role, everything gets easier.

Key Links:

Here is my conversation with KJ in episode 140; click here for episode 141, the first Your Child Explained referencing our conversation, and here for the second KJ-based YCE, episode 144.

For more on the 5 C’s of leadership and how they can be used in family life, check out Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, the book I wrote to help parents navigate the minefield that is modern parenting. Check it out there – but then, to get it for FREE, come to tonight’s NPC FAQ Q&A! Click the button above to sign up, and bring your questions : )

Click here to find out more about the Ninja Parenting Community, the place where I work closely with moms and dads just like you to handle their kids’ bad behavior, advocate for their children, and overall be happier in parenting.

144: Homework Troubles – How to Help When Your Young Child Struggles With Homework, A Your Child Explained Episode

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this page and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

A few weeks ago, in episode 140, guest KJ Dell’Antonia dropped so many knowledge bombs that I knew we’d need more than one Your Child Explained to really comprehend them all.

Here’s part 2 of 3 – all about homework and how to intervene when your child can’t take anymore!

Click weturnedoutokay.com/144 for show notes, links to last fall’s homework episode and conversation with the president of the American Academy of Pediatrics – and to sign up for the free, live NPC FAQ Q&A I’m hosting Thursday night, March 30 at 8 PM EST (where you can grab your free copy of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, the book that helps you handle every challenge your kids throw at you!)

 

Get a FREE copy of the book that helps you simultaneously raise kids and stay sane!

What: I’m hosting a live Q&A about the Ninja Parenting Community (not coincidentally, built to help you simultaneously raise kids and stay sane : )

When: Get your questions answered – and get your free copy of the book – on
Thursday, March 30, 2017 8 PM EST

How: Sign up just by clicking the button below!
Click Here to Register

 

KJ shared some great advice advice about intervening on behalf of your child.

She suggests “going in with your observations… and a question.”

Today we talk about making those observations – and what the question should be.

– The observations must take place over time, a day or two of your child having a meltdown over homework won’t be enough. KJ recommends getting the meltdowns on video if possible, so your child’s teacher understands what’s really going on at home about homework.

– The question must be some version of “how can we work together to solve this problem?”

Sometimes the teacher-parent relationship can seem very adversarial. If you want to help your child through her homework struggles, you need to find a way to work together with the teacher.

Questions or comments about today’s episode? Drop me a line at weturnedoutokay.com/contact!

Key Links:

Listen to my conversation with KJ Dell’Antonia, episode 140, by clicking here.

Click here to listen to episode 106: Join the Homework Revolt!

Click here to listen to episode 107, my conversation with American Academy of Pediatrics President Dr. Benard Dreyer.

Click here to find out more about the Ninja Parenting Community, the place where I work closely with moms and dads just like you to handle their kids’ bad behavior, advocate for their children, and overall be happier in parenting.

Trouble with tantrums?

With littles, meltdowns are hard to avoid.

So I came up with the HEART method to help you:
– remain calm
– stop worrying about judginess with public tantrums
– know you’re not alone

To calmly, decisively handle every on of your child’s tantrums, click the button below!

Click Here to Get the Guide

141: Use This Ninja Tactic to Cut Down on Your Child’s Bad Behavior – A Your Child Explained Episode

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

During Tuesday’s guest conversation, mom and author KJ Dell’Antonia shared the results of a pretty big (1000-person) survey of parents she commissioned as research for her upcoming book.

The thing that parents worry about most?
“Discipline,” KJ shares.

Discipline enters into many aspects of our parenting lives.

It’s firmness in enforcing rules; consistency in keeping routines established; being good models for our children.

During our conversation, I share a lesson taught to me long ago, in my first years of teaching, about “not moving our kids’ walls.”

KJ was so taken with this idea that she quotes me in her blog this week!

Click weturnedoutokay.com/141 to listen, and to read about how moving our children’s walls creates the bad behavior we really don’t want to see.

Today’s show is brought to you by the We Turned Out Okay free guide to Handling Every Temper Tantrum:

With littles, meltdowns are hard to avoid.

So I came up with the HEART method to help you:
– remain calm
– stop worrying about judginess with public tantrums
– know you’re not alone

To calmly, decisively handle every on of your child’s tantrums, click the button below!

Click Here to Get the Guide

Moving our kids’ walls is another way of expressing the importance of consistency.

(And consistency is… One aspect of discipline. We’re back to that again, my friend.)

Here’s what KJ wrote in her Week 3 Chore Challenge blog post about moving walls:

I was a guest on Karen Lock Kolp’s “We Turned Out Okay” podcast today, and she said something very insightful (which she attributed to an older teacher who was part of her teacher training earlier in life):

“If you tell a child you expect them to do something, like put away the blocks every time he’s used them, then that’s sort of a room you’ve created in his brain, where things work a certain way, where there are certain walls. Then if some of the time, you let him leave the blocks without putting them away, you’re moving the walls. And nobody likes it when the walls move.”

When we’re inconsistent, when we keep changing the rules (or enforcing them only sometimes) – were moving our children’s walls.

It’s very scary for them when their walls move.

When children are scared, they will react in any number of ways: with tantrums, whining, tears… In short, behavior that we don’t want to see. In shorter, bad behavior.

That’s why this idea of not moving their walls is so important.

I love it because it starts with us; our consistency – or lack of – is what really matters here.

Of course, that’s why I also hate it; it puts the responsibility squarely on me to be consistent!

If that can happen at least most of the time, believe me, it will be enough.

Key Links:

Click here to read KJ’s Chore Challenge blog post.

Click here to join her chore challenge!

Click here to check out Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics: Key Tools to Handle Every Temper Tantrum, Keep Your Cool, and Enjoy Life With Your Young Child. Not moving our kids’ walls comes up in here – because it’s a great ninja tactic! Read my book to learn more about this one, and many other ninja tactics that will help you in your parenting every single day.