118: How to Help Kids Cope With Anxiety Over New Situations – A Your Child Explained Episode

person-1627709_640Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll down to the very bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

When Ninja Parenting Community member Melissa shared about the anxiety that her kids can feel in new situations – as well as that she herself experiences this anxiety – I knew this was going to be a great Your Child Explained episode.

Who among us has not felt anxiety in new situations? It’s so easy for kids to feed off of our worries.

I hope you learn lots as Melissa opens up about the toughest parts of the family’s day, feeling overwhelmed, and lots more that you will totally identify with – I know I did.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/118 for my recommendations and key links!

With so much going on in this busy household, Melissa wishes for time together as a family to practice mindfulness (a great tool for bringing peace into a crazy day, and also for just feeling better).

But, how best to do that?

I suggest that Melissa use a whiteboard, a calendar, or even just a simple piece of paper to get control of the family’s time by writing down who has to be where, and when.

Incorporating mindfulness into dinner, perhaps by inviting everyone to share something they are grateful for, or something good that happened that day, also comes up.

The great thing about these suggestions is they don’t take a tremendous amount of time – but they do save a family’s time and sanity, because there’s a central schedule and also the opportunity to recognize what’s good in our lives.

Key Links:

Click here to listen to my conversation with Andre Nguyen, in which he teaches us how to take great family photos with our iPhones! During our conversation today, Melissa shares that Andre’s episode was the first she ever heard, back during the summer of 2015.

Want to alleviate your own anxiety? Check out the Ninja Parenting Community! We’ll be in beta for a little bit longer, which means that you can have a parent coaching call just like Melissa’s. I can help you with your toughest parenting problems, and you get to belong to a vibrant community… It’s a win-win! Click here to check it out.

038: Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics!

Today’s episode dives into the four best, most practical ninja tactics that I know and use every day to teach my boys right from wrong. Because, that’s really what discipline is, isn’t it? Teaching right from wrong – in my experience as a teacher and parent, positive discipline is not only the most user-friendly way to do this, but the most effective, too.

Listen to the episode for details, but here are the four ninja tactics of positive discipline:

1) stop using the timeout chair and timer for timeouts; let your child take a timeout him or herself, and most importantly let him or her decide how long it should be

2) use natural consequences as your disciplinary measures; often, the natural consequences of an action are all it takes to teach right from wrong

3) start early – like, immediately – in the development of empathy with your child

4) consider the power vacuum dynamics that come into play when you ignore a behavior you don’t want to see; ignoring the behavior rather than engaging about it makes that behavior go away sooner

And, those are the four! I hope they help you every day, but whether they do or they don’t, I hope you will click the contact tab on my website and tell me about your successes, failures, and questions. Especially questions.

Thanks for listening! If you listen all the way to the end, I share a project I’ve just started: helping parents individually, when you feel like your challenges as a parent are more than listening to the podcast can fix. Go here to find out more!

 

035: The Power of Positive Discipline – Part One, The Mindset

Today is the first of a two parter, because the subject of positive discipline – how we teach our kids right from wrong – is such a biggie.

In this first part, we talk about the mindset of positive discipline… Three things are required for us parents to get into this mindset:

1) a calm, quiet demeanor; yelling and screaming produces negativity, not to mention unhappy family members

2) making the punishment fit the crime; every situation is different, we can’t have a set list of infractions and punishments

3) taking our children seriously; by this I mean let’s start with the assumption that they are good kids, they want not to get in trouble, they’re doing the best they possibly can

All we need for the positive discipline mindset. They sound simple, but they can be really difficult to implement! Today, I try to persuade you that the best thing you can do for your child – and you – is get into the positive discipline mindset.

Thanks for listening! If you listen all the way to the end, I share a project I’ve just started: helping parents individually, when you feel like your challenges as a parent are more than listening to the podcast can fix. Go here to find out more!

In the next Just You and Me episode, number 38, we will get into the ninja tactics of positive discipline!