Podcast Episode 195: What to do about endless whining and when they waste food – a Parent-Coaching Call for today’s Your Child Explained Episode

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Today is one of my very favorite kinds of shows, a Parent-Coaching Call with an NPC member!

– – A HUGE tree fell in our yard during a buck wild nor’easter last week, and we lost power for days! (Click here to check out the video I made of the tree!) All back now and everything is okay… But I had to delay the start of our epic “How to Help Your Child Navigate the Choppy Social Waters of Life Without Getting Pulled Under Yourself or Losing Your Mind” mastercourse.
The first live module now goes up on Tuesday, November 14, giving you until Monday, November 13 to enroll!
If you can’t make it to the modules live, you’ll always be able to catch them in our password-protected online classroom – plus ask questions over the whole 6 weeks of the mastercourse in our private Survive the Social Stuff Facebook group, exclusively for those enrolled in the course.…
To learn more and sign up go to weturnedoutokay.com/socialstuff! – –

In each parent-coaching call, NPC members disclose their struggles and I put my years of experience with young children and degrees in early childhood education and human development/family relations to work, figuring out exactly what steps will help most (and fastest).
It’s an exclusive benefit for members of my private coaching community, and the great thing is that even if you’re not a member, you get answers to mind-bending parenting conundrums as well!

Here are the issues that Jen is seeing with her 5-and 3-year-old daughters:
1) What to do about endless whining, when all the tools in the toolbox have been tried – redirection is not working, making no sound like yes is not working, and her head is about ready to explode?

2) What to do when the girls take one or two bites out of an apple and then want to throw the rest of the apple away, or similar food conundrums, usually having to do with snacks, especially those that “don’t portion out well”

If either of these seems familiar, you are going to LOVE this episode.

NPC members: view the expanded notes and action steps – and read about how Jen did with these issues – by clicking here (just remember you must be logged in to view).
Not a member of the Ninja Parenting Community? Click here.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/195 key links : )

Continue reading “Podcast Episode 195: What to do about endless whining and when they waste food – a Parent-Coaching Call for today’s Your Child Explained Episode”

Podcast Episode 165: When Kids Want the Same Stuff Again and Again (and Again…) – A Your Child Explained Episode

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and click the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Why do kids want everything repeated, again and again?

One member of the Ninja Parenting Community might be channeling your thoughts right now: “Oh why do little kids obsess over certain movies? I have been putting Monsters Versus Aliens on every day for a month. What is going on those little brains that makes them demand the same movie so often for so long?”

Kids do this all the time… and not just with movies, they do it with books, and stories, and music, too.

In this Your Child Explained, we dig into why, exactly what’s happening in “those little brains” that makes them want everything repeated endlessly.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/165 for key links and show notes! Continue reading “Podcast Episode 165: When Kids Want the Same Stuff Again and Again (and Again…) – A Your Child Explained Episode”

Podcast Episode 160: Kids and Conflicts; How to Help – Part 3 in the Open-Ended Play Series

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Does your child ever get into arguments, verbal or otherwise? What’s your instinct when this happens – do you want to jump in and smooth everything over?

That’s not an unusual reaction, because we parents really hate it when our kids fight!

In this Just You and Me episode, we dig into why “smoothing everything over” is detrimental to our children’s development, and what to do instead.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/160 for show notes and key links, including to the wonderful conversation I had while sitting out on the playground – where kids played as we spoke – at Miss Tanya’s Nursery School!

Continue reading “Podcast Episode 160: Kids and Conflicts; How to Help – Part 3 in the Open-Ended Play Series”

Podcast Episode 159: A New Ninja Tactic for this Your Child Explained Episode

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

It’s been a busy few weeks in the Ninja Parenting Community – I counted twenty different issues that parents in there are collectively dealing with – and I knew that, if they’re having these issues, most likely so are you!

Lots of them are bigger issues – but some of them can be resolved so easily. In today’s episode, I talk about one of the latter, and how simply by changing one phrase to a related, but different phrase makes disciplining our kids lots easier.

The reason has to do with child development, and the simple fact that kids aren’t just small adults; they have a completely different way of understanding the world from us. Once we know that, it makes everything else easier.

To find out more about today’s ninja tactic, listen to this short-and-sweet episode, or go to weturnedoutokay.com/159 for show notes and key links!

Continue reading “Podcast Episode 159: A New Ninja Tactic for this Your Child Explained Episode”

Podcast Episode 156: Letting Kids Experience “Natural Consequences” – A Parent-Coaching Call for Today’s Your Child Explained Episode

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and click the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Today, we’re bringing you another great parent-coaching call with one of our Ninja Parenting Community members!

Like many children, Sabrina’s youngest daughter struggles with the family’s morning routine. She likes to be independent, she doesn’t like “to be told,” and oftentimes she is not hungry for breakfast before school.

Sabrina brings up a whole host of issues having to do with routine, following the rules, and the natural consequences of a child’s actions.

If you’re experiencing any concerns in any of those areas – and with kids, who isn’t? – you’re going to love today’s episode!

Click weturnedoutokay.com/156 for the show notes and key links in today’s episode, including the link to a book Sabrina has found helpful, It’s Okay Not to Share.

Continue reading “Podcast Episode 156: Letting Kids Experience “Natural Consequences” – A Parent-Coaching Call for Today’s Your Child Explained Episode”

155: Your Biggest Weapon in the War Against Parental Guilt – Speaking With Returning Champion Ashley Milne-Tyte of The Broad Experience Podcast

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Today, Ashley Milne-Tyte of The Broad Experience podcast returns to We Turned Out Okay, and our conversation goes in a direction I hadn’t anticipated: how women can take on too much, become overwhelmed, and end up unhappy and possibly even ill.

Because Ashley’s podcast focuses on “women in the workplace,” our conversation starts out with the focus on women and moms. But somewhere in here, we stop talking just about women – and start talking about parents. Parental guilt is a thing, and not just among the moms!

Today’s episode is big-picture, and Ashley shares a tremendous weapon that we all have in our possession, something that helps us alleviate parental guilt and make our lives, and our children’s, better.

I hope you enjoy our conversation!

For show notes, key links, and to sign up for tomorrow’s NPC FAQ Q&A – where you get your questions answered about the Ninja Parenting Community and you also get a FREE copy of my book, Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics – go to weturnedoutokay.com/155!

Continue reading “155: Your Biggest Weapon in the War Against Parental Guilt – Speaking With Returning Champion Ashley Milne-Tyte of The Broad Experience Podcast”

154: Less Strife at Home by Asking A Single Question – Part 1 in the Open-Ended Play Series

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

What might your child do with cardboard boxes?

What if there was one question you could ask – and the result would be a more harmonious home? (I know, I don’t love the word harmonious either, but it really fits here, so I’m sticking with it.)

A harmonious home is one in which the people who live there enjoy each other’s company, at least more often than not. Differences are worked out peacefully, everybody’s needs are met, and it just feels like a good place to be.

We’re looking at how to make that home a reality in the first of a series I’m creating to help you have:
– Less strife at home
– Better relationships, including smoother experiences out in the world with your young child
– Nobody living in your basement when they’re thirty

Today is all about the at-home part, digging into how you can have a more harmonious home.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/154 for the show notes and key links – including the sign-up button for our upcoming NPC FAQ Q&A on Wednesday, May 10th, 2017 at 1 PM EST!

Continue reading “154: Less Strife at Home by Asking A Single Question – Part 1 in the Open-Ended Play Series”

152: What Happens When Kids Don’t Get What They Need? Talking With Early Childhood Education Professors Miriam Beloglovsky and Lisa Daly

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Rarely am I speechless – in life or podcasting – but today’s guests took my breath away with their observations of real young adults who grew up without open-ended play in their lives.

Lisa Daly and Miriam Beloglovsky, authors and professors, know a lot about how easy it is for a child growing up today to have zero practical knowledge. It’s because their lives were spent preparing for, and taking, tests.

Now as adults, these young people score really well on tests… But cannot accomplish simple tasks such as using screwdriver. Imagine not having the mechanical knowledge to use a screwdriver!

Thankfully, Daly and Beloglovsky spend their days teaching tomorrow’s teachers, and have a wonderful go-around for this burgeoning problem. And, it is burgeoning – more and more young people leave high school without any practical knowledge, move out into the world looking really well-prepared on paper, but lacking competence and confidence in many key areas of their lives.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/152 for show notes and key links to this mind-blowing conversation with two thoughtful, engaged people!

Thankfully, human nature being what it is, Daly and Beloglovsky report that even grown-ups can learn these important mechanical, physical concepts.

But there’s only one way: through play.

It’s the tinkering, investigating, and coming up with “I wonder” questions that educates people about gravity, velocity, mechanics, and every other science or engineering concept.

So my question for you is: how are you incorporating play into your young child’s life?
The answer may be more important to their well-being and happiness than you imagine.

Key Links:

Check out Daly and Beloglovsky’s book, Loose Parts, here – it’s a great resource for incorporating open-ended play into your child’s life.

Also, their website, Reflective Perspectives, discusses more about open-ended play and loose parts. Click here to check it out.

Click here to read the Alliance for Childhood’s great paper, Crisis in the Kindergarten.

For my conversation with Tanya Trainor, nursery school owner and a woman who has seen the transformative nature of giving kids loose parts, go to weturnedoutokay.com/036.

If you’re seeing aggressive behavior, or sadness, or passivity in your child – and you’re worried that it’s due to the lack of open-ended play – the Ninja Parenting Community could be just the place to get help.
It’s where I help parents just like you figure out how to handle all the tough stuff our kids throw at us.
Click here to learn more about the community!

090: Two Key Steps to Helping Your Child Learn To Swim – Summer Camp Continues!

Do you, like me, worry about your son or daughter drowning during a day at the pool or the beach?

When my two boys were small, I was given some great advice about keeping them safe while swimming, and that’s what today’s Summer Camp Episode is all about.20160703-406

First, a quick note about the Ninja Parenting Community: I’ve had a technical glitch hold up the opening for a few weeks, which is a bummer. However, it can work out really well for you because, as compensation, I’m offering more one-to-one support to those who become part of my email group and join the community in its very first week! (Hopefully in late July.) Becoming part of the email group now means:
– a weekly email about what’s happening on We Turned Out Okay
– the chance to join the Ninja Parenting Community at the best pricing that there will ever be, period.
– a one-to-one parent coaching call every three months for all the time you’re continuously in the community!
– I’m offering this as compensation for the time we are all stuck waiting as I figure out the technical glitch,
so you definitely want to jump into my email group!
Become part of the email group by clicking this link or going to weturnedoutokay.com/ninja-parenting-community-login and signing up to get notified about when the Ninja Parenting Community opens.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/090 to read all about the key steps to helping your kid learn to swim, and to listen to the episode!

To really help your child learn to swim, here are the two recommendations we talk about in today’s’s episode:

1) years ago, a swim instructor who had worked with children for decades gave me this great advice: when you’re in the water with your young child, act as if getting splashed in the face is perfectly normal and to be expected. Smile as you’re getting splashed in the face, when it happens to your child don’t make a big deal about it – swimming means getting water in your face.
I recently saw a great example of this with my second cousin once removed, who is just sixteen months old and absolutely in love with the end of the slip and slide where you’re constantly getting water in your face.

2) be sure that it is the child’s intrinsic motivation – not yours or somebody else’s – that guides your child to move away from you in the water, or try new things such as going underwater. Until such time as her curiosity or desire for independence takes over, please use a flotation device such as a back-style floaty, worn on the back and with removable panels for different levels of buoyancy.
There will come a day when your child swims away under his or her own power and that is an awesome day – make it possible by allowing your child to determine when it happens!

Key Links:

Listen to our first Q&A ever, which happened to be about kids and swimming, by going to weturnedoutokay.com/017.

To get into my email group for weekly updates about what’s happening on the podcast and take advantage of the extra benefits I’m offering only to people who join the Ninja Parenting Community in its first week of being open – hopefully starting in late July 2016 – go to weturnedoutokay.com/ninja-parenting-community-login.

To contact me with your thoughts and ideas about learning to swim go to weturnedoutokay.com/contact.

082: Helping Marla Streamline Busy Mornings with Six-Year-Old Gracie: A Your Child Explained Episode

20160502_174044_resizedDo you wish your mornings could be a little bit less stressful? It can be really hard to get out the door with young kids, and that was Marla’s situation with her kindergartner, Gracie.

Recently Marla wrote with the following questions: “how can I pull her out of the “I will not and you can’t make me!” mindset and nudge her back into “if I do this we can all have a good time” mindset? When she has her battle armor on, she will argue with me about everything… she will sometimes yell and sometimes I yell. I try to get to her level and talk about it, but sometimes I’m not sure what to say. We just need to get ready to go. You know?”

For Marla, the situation is a little bit more complicated as Gracie has Down Syndrome. But I was so happy that we could record our coaching call – EVERY young child gets that battle armor sometimes!

Today I’m thrilled to bring you my parent coaching call with Marla. Like you, she is a parent who loves her child fiercely and and yet also struggles with the day-to-day issues that every child can bring up. When I checked in with Marla recently she had really great news about streamlining their busy mornings, and you’ll hear about that towards the end of this episode.

Click here or go to weturnedoutokay.com/082 to check out Marla’s beautiful schedule board, created for Gracie based on the advice I was able to share, and also for key links to today’s episode!

Like so much else in life, the struggles that Gracie was having in the morning felt to me like transition issues. When we say to our kids “it’s time for you to stop doing what you want to do… and come do what I want you to do” they often hate to be interrupted (as do we ourselves!) Well, when we must interrupt them and they have to come do what we need them to do, that’s a transition.

I suggested that Marla create a schedule board so that Gracie could see, in a very concrete way, what has already been accomplished, what’s coming next, and can feel a thrill at the idea of progressing along the schedule board.

Marla changed the language that she uses with Grace, incorporating positive goals and very small wins into each day. She writes: “I also have been trying harder to give her a positive goal like, “we need to get ready for school so you can go on the field trip today.” Or “we need to hurry and brush hair if you want to wear your sparkly shoes.” I’ve been trying to make it possible to offer one positive goal every morning, even if it is listening to a Lion King song in the car.”

Marla finishes her note: “mornings are going much smoother these days.”

When I read Marla’s email, saw the schedule board she made for Gracie – so beautiful, and so useful as well! – I had a smile on my face for the whole rest of the day.

The ability to help people like Marla, like you, is one of the true thrills in my life.

Behind the scenes here at We Turned Out Okay, I’ve been working hard on a way to more intensively help you, a way that I can get to know you and your situation personally and offer ideas, support, and advice especially for you.

Today I have a big announcement: the Ninja Parenting Community is opening soon, on or about June 20, 2016!

It’s a community for parents of young children, moms and dads who want more access to my knowledge of kids and how to keep them from driving you nuts; I’ll be in the forums nearly every day, answering questions and engaging with parents just like you.

But it is SO much more than that – it’s a place where parents can share resources, vent in the Parent Meltdown Corner and know that a virtual hug and some kind words are coming their way. Starting this summer, each month we will have a live call, so you can ask your questions and I can answer them, live and in person!

It’s also in beta right now, which means two great things for you:

1) when you join, it’s your ideas that make this community exactly what you want it to be – if there is a training or a class you want me to create around any aspect of parenting young children, just ask me in the forums and I will get working on it!

2) joining the Ninja Parenting Community is half the cost of what it will be in the future. Right now, a month of fun, support, and advice costs about the same as a couple of pizzas, and will remain that way as long as you’re a part of the community (even though future members will be paying a higher price.)

Click this link or go to weturnedoutokay.com/calm-cool-ninja-parent to learn more!