Talking with Biz Ellis and Theresa Thorn of One Bad Mother! | Podcast Episode 297

I am super excited to bring you a conversation with two of the most beloved people in podcasting, Biz Ellis and Theresa Thorn of One Bad Mother!

Take note: there WILL be swears, so listen away from your kiddos…

Also I totally mess up in describing a genius moment of my own! (I guess that’s a fail at a genius moment : )
So in the preshow I try to rectify that.

Biz and Theresa are such generous people that, while I’m sure they were looking at each other with extremely confused “why is this a genius moment?” looks on their faces, they pressed on and shared so much amazing support for you.
For me.
For us.
For any parent who feels shamed, unappreciated, like a monumental screwup.
Biz and Theresa want you to know: you’re doing a great job!
And I want you to know: they are right <3

Watch my video on what to do when your young child is super aggressive, and how to keep your cool when the going gets tough, by clicking
weturnedoutokay.com/parentingtools

Click here for the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group, where I took questions for Biz and Theresa – and where you can ask questions of future guests!
(It’s also where I do a Facebook live every Monday called Magic Words for Parents, sharing a quick word or phrase for you to take into your parenting week : )

Plus in Parenting News: My new favorite TED talk is called “Where joy hides and how to find it.” It’s amazing, and illustrates a factor that’s crucial to enjoying family life.

Join us!

 

Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter

Click weturnedoutokay.com/297 for lots of links from our conversation!

Today’s episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, and an incredible resource she has created to help your child handle even the biggest feelings!
Listen to today’s show to find out how to get 15% off your order, and then
Click copingskillsforkids.com/okay to check out Janine’s Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks.

Continue reading “Talking with Biz Ellis and Theresa Thorn of One Bad Mother! | Podcast Episode 297”

In praise of positive discipline | What the American Academy of Pediatrics thinks about spanking | Podcast episode 252

I love this picture. Mom and son, strong together : )

I did a happy dance a few weeks ago when I read that American Academy of Pediatrics has revised its guidelines on spanking and corporal punishment. This 67,000-doctor organization is coming out strongly against spanking, humiliating, and frightening children as discipline.

Today I’m rebroadcasting my conversation with former AAP president, Dr. Benard Dreyer. Dr. Dreyer gave such wonderful advice for parents as we raise our kids, and to my surprise it’s been more than 2 years since this interview first aired! Time flies.

In the preshow, before our conversation, I read from the newspaper article that had me doing my happy dance, “Spanking is harmful, ineffective, group says.”

Hope you enjoy this episode, and that it helps you remember to keep your discipline positive!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/252 for:

  • The link to the article about the AAP’s stance on spanking
  • What’s up in the We Turned Out Okay universe, including tons of free resources : )
  • The video of the week: Off this week, returning after Thanksgiving

And thank you so much for listening! Continue reading “In praise of positive discipline | What the American Academy of Pediatrics thinks about spanking | Podcast episode 252”

Podcast Episode 177: Ever Tempted to Spank Your Child? Here’s Something that Works Better. (A Your Child Explained Episode)

If you need a life preserver, today’s episode is for you.

Hello! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

“My wife doesn’t want me to spank them, I get it – I don’t want to either but what else can I do?” These words come from a listener’s email, a desperate plea to figure out how to discipline kids and keep order during the daily grind.

This listener goes on to say “I got spanked, and turned out okay… I got more than spanked to tell you the truth, and I know what the constant barrage of words being screamed at me feels like. To be honest, I’d rather have had the spanking.”

This listener deftly identifies two things that do not work with kids:
1) a “constant barrage of words”
2) spanking.

So, what do you do instead?

Listen to this episode to find out!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/177 for key links. Continue reading “Podcast Episode 177: Ever Tempted to Spank Your Child? Here’s Something that Works Better. (A Your Child Explained Episode)”

Podcast Episode 175: “How can I get my kids to listen to me the FIRST time I ask?”

They sure are adorable… But how do we get them to LISTEN to us?

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Today we take on one of the toughest issues of all: getting our kids to listen to us.

Stephanie says “they seem to have come to me without the ability to listen;” Jocelyn says she struggles with “kids not listening and obeying the first time I ask (or the first ten times)”…

Is this you?

Do you find yourself standing in the kitchen sometimes, with your son or daughter in the next room, and your voice is getting louder and louder and you’re clenching your fists and rolling your eyes… And still you’re not getting the response you need?

Well then, today’s episode is for you.

Show notes – including a step-by-step description of how to actually get your kids to listen – at  weturnedoutokay.com/175! Continue reading “Podcast Episode 175: “How can I get my kids to listen to me the FIRST time I ask?””

075: Helping A Child With Autism Connect Meaningfully – A Conversation With Dad and Social Support Worker Erik Wagter

I knew my conversation with today’s guest, a trainer of educators and social workers, would help you become skilled at resolving conflicts in your home. What I didn’t expect – and was so joyfully surprised about – was how forthcoming this father of two would be in sharing his family’s story of helping their oldest son, diagnosed with autism at a very young age, connect with his family in a meaningful way.

Erik Wagter and his wife Sally took son Tim’s education and well-being into their hands, choosing to homeschool starting from when Tim was in primary school. I had goosebumps as Erik share the rewards of all their hard work (and, the hard work itself.)

Whether you have a child with a special need or not, you’re going to love this episode. Erik shares his family’s terrific story, and how you can resolve conflicts and have a better relationship with your young child.

Click here or go to weturnedoutokay.com/075 to listen, and for the key links Erik shares in today’s’s episode!

Key Links:

Go to inspiringsolutionsforautism.com to learn more about Erik and Sally’s son, Tim, and the journey the entire Wagter family has been on in helping Tim connect meaningfully with the world.

Today, Erik shares how helpful one particular organization was in helping Tim connect: go to son-rise.org to find out more about them!

To learn more about Erik’s work as a trainer of educators and social workers, and to connect with him, go to solutionfocused.co.uk.

Click this link to check out Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics: Key Tools to Handle Every Temper Tantrum, Keep Your Cool, and Enjoy Life With Your Young Child, the book I wrote for you if you need some concrete tools to use in the tough moments in parenting your young child. Back when I struggled to enjoy Max and Jay’s early childhoods, these tools really helped me maintain my sanity and do a lot less yelling. I hope they’ll help you as well!

038: Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics!

Today’s episode dives into the four best, most practical ninja tactics that I know and use every day to teach my boys right from wrong. Because, that’s really what discipline is, isn’t it? Teaching right from wrong – in my experience as a teacher and parent, positive discipline is not only the most user-friendly way to do this, but the most effective, too.

Listen to the episode for details, but here are the four ninja tactics of positive discipline:

1) stop using the timeout chair and timer for timeouts; let your child take a timeout him or herself, and most importantly let him or her decide how long it should be

2) use natural consequences as your disciplinary measures; often, the natural consequences of an action are all it takes to teach right from wrong

3) start early – like, immediately – in the development of empathy with your child

4) consider the power vacuum dynamics that come into play when you ignore a behavior you don’t want to see; ignoring the behavior rather than engaging about it makes that behavior go away sooner

And, those are the four! I hope they help you every day, but whether they do or they don’t, I hope you will click the contact tab on my website and tell me about your successes, failures, and questions. Especially questions.

Thanks for listening! If you listen all the way to the end, I share a project I’ve just started: helping parents individually, when you feel like your challenges as a parent are more than listening to the podcast can fix. Go here to find out more!

 

035: The Power of Positive Discipline – Part One, The Mindset

Today is the first of a two parter, because the subject of positive discipline – how we teach our kids right from wrong – is such a biggie.

In this first part, we talk about the mindset of positive discipline… Three things are required for us parents to get into this mindset:

1) a calm, quiet demeanor; yelling and screaming produces negativity, not to mention unhappy family members

2) making the punishment fit the crime; every situation is different, we can’t have a set list of infractions and punishments

3) taking our children seriously; by this I mean let’s start with the assumption that they are good kids, they want not to get in trouble, they’re doing the best they possibly can

All we need for the positive discipline mindset. They sound simple, but they can be really difficult to implement! Today, I try to persuade you that the best thing you can do for your child – and you – is get into the positive discipline mindset.

Thanks for listening! If you listen all the way to the end, I share a project I’ve just started: helping parents individually, when you feel like your challenges as a parent are more than listening to the podcast can fix. Go here to find out more!

In the next Just You and Me episode, number 38, we will get into the ninja tactics of positive discipline!