Changing bras

Hi Friends,

Before we get started I just want to apologize to any of you who might not care to know very much about the undergarments of your favorite child development expert : )
But this was the letter that was in my heart to write today. There’s a very good reason, one I hope you’ll find relevant to your life!
But I completely understand if you want to not read today’s letter.
Don’t feel that you must. I’ll be back next week with another newsletter. (And perhaps it will not contain such… intimate subject matter…
If you’d like my next newsletter to be delivered right into your inbox, click here: weturnedoutokay.com/weekly.)
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Prior to becoming a mother I had always believed that wearing a bra meant strapping yourself into serious foundational support.
Going out into the world? Going to be seen by anyone but yourself, or your closest family?
Time to harness up!

Discovering that there were bras meant for comfort was a relation. As I say this happened only after I had children. Continue reading “Changing bras”

The opposite of a Black Friday crazy deal

As an entrepreneur, I enjoy keeping my ear to the ground and understanding what is going on in the world of entrepreneurship and business-building.

Something that’s come across loud and clear this year is the idea that we MUST offer a “Black Friday Craaaazy Deal!”

Start early, we are told.
Hammer your email list.
Get into those inboxes way before Thanksgiving, and email them daily – even multiple times a day – through Cyber Monday.

Offer a crazy deal where the emphasis is all on speed, cheapness, and constantly being in people’s faces.

It seemed so inhumane, getting on your case poking and prodding and bugging and begging you to “buy my thing.”

By early November I knew that was not going to be my jam. The very idea made me feel sick to my stomach.

So I asked myself:
“What is the opposite of a Black Friday Craaazy Deal?”

And then I asked Ben.

He told me to be sure that, whatever I did offer, make it truly address the struggles that parents confront each day.
He reminded me that they – that you – have real problems.
And that I can help you overcome those problems and thrive.

“Parents have enough to worry about,” he told me.

Parents right now are feeling…

1. Walked all over. By their kids, by friends, by parents and in-laws, by teachers.

2. Worried about their kids. They fear children being perceived as “bad.” That they won’t be able to connect with others or make friends, won’t be able to learn and become educated, won’t be able to live a good life.

3. Exhausted. Parents have no time for a break, or a hobby. They are just DONE.

I decided that anything I offered would be the opposite of a Black Friday Crazy Deal.

It would be:

Continue reading “The opposite of a Black Friday crazy deal”

An update on my health (I was in the hospital last week)

First of all I need to say thank you to so many of you, who have sent me virtual hugs and well wishes since I was in the hospital last week.

I’ve seen them, and I intend to write back to each and every one of you… But for now I hope you’ll settle for a “group” update.

I am slowly healing – really, that’s the update here.

And as I do I am putting on my observer hat, trying to understand what makes me feel better, and what makes me feel worse.

What makes me feel worse:
– Pushing myself too far
– Not taking pain medication
– Worrying
– Feeling guilty for all the things I am not doing for my family
– Feeling like a burden

What makes me feel better:
– Asking for help Continue reading “An update on my health (I was in the hospital last week)”

Be the brains

Happy Wednesday!

I want to share a goal of mine. I’m in training! I’m drafting a new parenting book and today I’m asking you to keep me on track.

And also I’m excited because I think this story that I share today could also be helpful for you, even if your struggles are different than mine.

First: I’m in training!

Longtime listeners to the podcast, and readers of this letter, might know that I have a chronic illness. A tendon disorder, that keeps me from doing a lot of things that you probably consider perfectly normal and everyday events, such as chopping vegetables, or folding laundry.

But there would be no podcast, there would be no We Turned Out Okay at all, without the tendon disorder. And that is because of something a friend said to me when I was at my worst, with just 5% use practical use of my hands. I had truly hit rock bottom. I felt like such a burden, and so useless, to those who were responsible for taking care of me; meaning my husband, Ben, and our two boys.

It should have been the other way around, I should have been taking care of them! And instead I could hardly wash my own hair or pour my own coffee.

When a friend suggested that this didn’t have to only be negative, that instead it could be positive, it opened up a whole new avenue. She said “okay, you can’t do all the normal parenting things. Or all the normal housekeeping things. So what CAN you do?” Continue reading “Be the brains”