What to do during, and after, your child’s next temper tantrum

Happy Wednesday!

FYI: I totally screwed something up, and now that it is fixed, I want to offer you the Friends and Family Membership Rate to join in the private coaching community I host online for parents. Read more about this below.

Also: Links to each part of the in-depth, 4-part newsletter series I recently did can be found just below my signature. (Feedback was that many of you found that series super helpful and so I want it to be available all through the start to this school year!)

Today, I want to share about a really cool thing one of my private coaching clients did recently.
It helped her:
– Make the most of her time at home (she’s a busy single mom)
– Enjoy family time with her 3-year-old son.

Win-win!

Mama Llama, who keeps her identity anonymous in the community, posted in recently about an extremely difficult daycare pickup and evening:
“[On the way home] he yelled and kicked my seat. He flipped out getting out of the car at home grabbing things out of my hands and screaming.”
That wasn’t all:
“He thrashed around the lobby stomping and hitting the mailboxes. We finally made our way upstairs where he continued to scream and kick and hit.”
And even THAT wasn’t all:
“He lost [the privilege of playing with a toy] for the night and the hitting and kicking got worse and he started throwing toys at me.”

Continue reading “What to do during, and after, your child’s next temper tantrum”

“There’s just not enough time to do everything” – Part 2 of the Taming Weeknight Chaos Series! (Podcast Episode 233)

Welcome to Part 2 of our Taming the Weeknight Chaos series!

Click here for the FREE Tame the Weeknight Chaos Guide, including Video & Checklist

Today we address a huge challenge in every parent’s efforts to create enjoyable, smooth family weeknights: there’s just not enough time to get everything done.

In fact today is a troubleshooting episode, because we tackle that problem – and also the “I’m always the bad cop” problem that comes up for tons of parents!

You’ll find this episode really helpful if weeknight chaos is a problem for you.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/233 for:

A video covering these two common problems with weeknights;

And: A free 6-Point Checklist and Video Guide to help you truly enjoy weeknights with your kids

Happy listening : ) Continue reading ““There’s just not enough time to do everything” – Part 2 of the Taming Weeknight Chaos Series! (Podcast Episode 233)”

WHY are weeknights with kids so tough? Taming Weeknight Chaos Part 1 (Podcast Episode 232)


Help me make this series about taming weeknight chaos be exactly what YOU need.

Click here to take this quick 3-question poll so I can tailor the series to your needs!

Today is the start of a new series here at We Turned Out okay!

It’s all about taming the chaotic and crazy weeknights that so many of us experience in raising kids.

We start by investigating: WHY are weeknights so tough?

For us parents, evenings – especially weeknights – are a constant slog.

I want to make this series tailored exactly to your needs, and in order to do that I need you to respond to the poll I’ve got going on this very topic!

Go to the We Turned Out Okay Facebook page to take the poll (the link is just below)…

Or if you are in the We Turned Out Okay email group, the poll has already landed in your inbox, and hopefully you’ve already written me back.

Thank you so much for helping me make this series into exactly what will help you most!

 

All The Links

I’m making it easy on you to access all the links I talk about in today’s episode:

Click here for the We Turned Out Okay Facebook page, where you can take the poll (and also catch the Magic Words for Parents video I do live each Monday at 10 AM EST : )

Click here for the Karen Lock Kolp YouTube channel, featuring a playlist of Magic Words for Parents, including this week’s which shares a phrase for when your child loses a special comfort object, like a blanky or stuffed animal.

Click here for EXTRA Magic Words for Parents, exclusive access to my patron-only feed, advanced chapters of my forthcoming book, Your Child Explained Volume 1, and other great stuff which goes way beyond what regular listeners get… Find all these awesome and exclusive extras at Patreon.com/weturnedoutokay!

I teach these great things called Parent-Ninja Tactics, which are THE key to happy parenting, and they’re only available in the Ninja Parenting Community.
I would love to teach you these and help you truly enjoy the time you spend with your kids!
Join the Ninja Parenting Community by going to weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC.

Click here to sign up for my FREE checklist and video on How to Handle Every Temper Tantrum so that you can calmly, confidently handle your child’s very next one!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/232 for every back episode of the podcast, and to read more about the top three reasons why weeknights are so challenging…

And thank you so much for listening! Continue reading “WHY are weeknights with kids so tough? Taming Weeknight Chaos Part 1 (Podcast Episode 232)”

227: Integrate Family and Work with Mom and Author Shannon Miles (Podcast Episode 227)

Picture this: you’re in the car,

Shannon Miles and her family.

in a parking lot, with your screaming three-year-old and six-month-old.

You’re on a call with work, and you’ve got the call muted so that you can hear what’s going on – but your coworkers can’t hear the car chaos.

Until one of your coworkers says “Shannon, what do you think?” – and you know that as soon as you unmute the call everyone on it will hear the screaming.

What do you do?

If you are today’s guest, you learn from this situation… and you take that learning and make a life with a proper balance between family, and work.

Join me in a great conversation with Shannon Miles, author of The Third Option, all about handling the tough choices that we parents face every day.

Shannon shares a wonderful 3-step process if you’re feeling stuck, with a big decision to make.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/227 for notes on this process, and also for the key links that come up during our conversation –

and thank you so much for listening!

PS Shannon asked me to share that the company she and her husband Bryan started is hiring! Click belaysolutions.com if you, or someone you know, might be interested in working for the Mileses : ) Continue reading “227: Integrate Family and Work with Mom and Author Shannon Miles (Podcast Episode 227)”

Tame the Weeknight Chaos Live, In-Person Workshop!

 

Longtime friend-of-the-podcast Janine Halloran, LMHC, and I are super excited to teach this free, live, in-person workshop coming up in just over a week…

If you will be in Bellingham, Massachusetts on April 23, click here to sign up!

Janine has been on We Turned Out Okay several times now, most recently in episode 201, called Helping Kids Manage Even the Biggest Feelings.

We are teaming up to teach parents:
– Simple changes you can make to streamline weeknights
– Concrete, useful tools for the toughest moments

And it’s live, in person!

Hope to see you there!

To bribe… or not to bribe? A Your Child Explained Episode (Podcast Episode 220)

The place where so much bribery happens.

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

If we’re being honest, who among us has NOT bribed a kid? (Listen to this episode to hear about how we potty trained our youngest… using entire donuts as bribes.)

But is there a better way?

Something we could do to change our child’s behavior from bad to good?

Something that would stop us feeling like we’re being emotionally blackmailed by our kids?

Listen to today’s episode to understand exactly WHY we parents resort to bribery – when it’s most likely to happen – and for 3 things we can do instead!

Read more about bribery…
Find every back episode of the We Turned Out Okay podcast…
Sign up for the 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting Class…

All at weturnedoutokay.com/220.

Happy listening! Continue reading “To bribe… or not to bribe? A Your Child Explained Episode (Podcast Episode 220)”

A Counterintuitive Positive Discipline Ninja Tactic for Today’s Your Child Explained Episode (Podcast Episode 214)

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

“I HATE to yell at you… But you make me do it. It’s your fault.”
Recently, I spoke with a mom who said that she tells her kids this all the time.

Do you ever feel like this, when your child is giving you crazy attitude ?

Or when your child is whining, or picks a fight with a sibling over absolutely nothing at all?

In short, do you ever feel like you cannot take your child’s bad, embarrassing behavior for one more second?

If so, today’s episode gives you a ninja tactic that will completely change this dynamic!

If you really care about stopping your children’s annoying behavior before it starts, and you really care about not flying off the handle with them… Today’s episode shows you how to do it.

Listen in to find out how to do it right!

 

3 Secrets of Happy Parenting:

You know that fear and dread that you feel can about spending time with your young child?

Those hours that drag on, when paradoxically it feels like there is so much to do but also the minutes just creep by, super slowly, moment by agonizing moment?

I am excited to share the 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting, which give you the power to overcome that fear and dread and truly enjoy the time you spend with your kids.

Learn these 3 Secrets in my Live, Online Class

So, I know in this episode I say “the 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting Minicourse is all ready for you!”
Life interfered this time: I got bronchitis and I’m still recovering…

But what IS ready: the 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting Live, Online Class!

The Minicourse is still in production, but in the meantime learn these three secrets while connecting with me live!

By the end of this live, online 40-minute class, you’ll know how to make the time you spend with your kids really enjoyable time.

Click the link below for details and to register:
weturnedoutokay.com/secrets

Other key links over at weturnedoutokay.com/214
Thank you so much for listening : ) Continue reading “A Counterintuitive Positive Discipline Ninja Tactic for Today’s Your Child Explained Episode (Podcast Episode 214)”

Podcast Episode 157: Three Steps to Well-Behaved Kids Out In The World

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and press the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

The part of a wedding “where they do karate.”

Any graduations, weddings, vacations, or visits with family coming up in your life?
If you’re nervous about how your child will behave, hopefully we can help you feel better by the end of this episode!

As I see it, there are three steps to getting our little kids to behave out in the world (at least – most of the time…)

Click weturnedoutokay.com/157 for the show notes, including an outline of the 3 steps, for a picture of “the wedding where we do karate,” and for key links that come up in this episode! Continue reading “Podcast Episode 157: Three Steps to Well-Behaved Kids Out In The World”

148: Is It Possible to Teach Patience to Young Children? Common Parenting Challenges, Part 3

Come to my free, live, online class on handling Common Parenting Challenges!

Why: to learn :
– how to avoid fighting about parenting stuff with your spouse
what to do when your child rebels against your daily schedule
– how to teach your young child patience
– how to handle your young child’s disrespectful “No!”

When: Thursday, April 20, 2017, 8 PM EST

Class is interactive – bring your questions!

You’ll receive a free, downloadable reference for the next time you come up against one of these challenges…

Sign up for “How to Handle 4 Common Parenting Challenges” by clicking the button below:
Click Here to Register

Look familiar?

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and click the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

“When [my young daughter] is being impatient or persistent about doing something: at this age, how would I teach her to be patient?”

When listener Sherif asked this question recently, I knew it had to be part of the Common Parenting Challenges series!

Sherif asks some really pertinent follow-up questions:
– Is that possible at this age?
– Should I just distract her with something else?
– Should I stand my ground which will make her upset?
– If I give in to what she wants, is this teaching her how to always get her way?

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/148 to learn how to teach patience to your young child – and to sign up for the upcoming free, live Common Parenting Challenges online class, coming up Thursday, April 20!

 

Trouble with tantrums?

With littles, meltdowns are hard to avoid.

So I came up with the HEART method to help you:
– remain calm
– stop worrying about judginess with public tantrums
– know you’re not alone

To calmly, decisively handle every on of your child’s tantrums, click the button below!

Click Here to Get the Guide

 

I’m sure you’ve had some version of Sherif’s questions, especially when your child became a toddler. Here are my answers to these questions:

How do I teach patience to my young child? Is that possible at this age?

– I suggest that we don’t so much “teach” patience as “model” patience. Sherif’s daughter is 2, a notoriously difficult age for impatience – but each age has its own challenges, and even slightly older children (up till five or six) benefit from our modeling of patience. I guess, no matter what age our kids are they can benefit from our modeling of patience!

Should I just distract her with something else?

– I like to give distraction its fancypants biz name: Redirection. Redirection is really important in raising young kids! So, yes, Sherif – redirect away : )

Should I stand my ground which will make her upset?

– In parenting, often times we have to pick our battles. Definitely, stand your ground sometimes (we never ever let kids run into the street, that’s one we ALWAYS stand our ground on); the trick is in knowing which battles to pick!

If I give in to what she wants, is this teaching her how to always get her way?

– The short answer: Yes. Giving in teaches kids that, if they protest long enough and loud enough they’ll get what they want.
Giving in is the quickest way to more, longer, and louder meltdowns; much easier to create good, firm limits and don’t let them drop.

Sherif, and you if you’re not Sherif but you’re in this position, I hope this answers your questions! Is not always easy to model patience and follow-through. But it is what works best with young children.

Questions or comments? Give me a holler at weturnedoutokay.com/contact.

Key Links:

Click here for the first Common Parenting Challenges installment, episode 142 about disagreeing with your child-rearing partner over parenting stuff.

Click here for the second Common Parenting Challenges installment, episode 145 about how to handle it when your young child rebels against your schedule.

Check out the book I wrote to help parents handle all the challenges little kids throw at us, Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, in Amazon. It’s really helpful for when you need a quick tactic to use immediately!

Click here to find out more about the Ninja Parenting Community, the place where I work closely with moms and dads just like you to handle their kids’ bad behavior, advocate for their children, and overall be happier in parenting.

142: What to do if you and your spouse are not on the same page – Part 1 in the Common Parenting Challenges Series

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

You don’t want your kids to have any more screen time – and your spouse plops them in front of the tube. You know that giving in to a temper tantrum is the fastest route to more, and longer, temper tantrums; yet your spouse gives in again and again.

Sound familiar?

Today we talk all about how to handle when your spouse isn’t on the same page (and your page is the right page).

Recently while talking with a mom of 2 young girls, some pretty major – and common – parenting issues came up. I knew that, if this mom is struggling with these issues, that you probably are as well!
Hence our series: Common Parenting Challenges. Join us during the March and April Just You and Me episodes as we address these parenting challenges one by one!

Read the show notes, get the How to Handle Every Temper Tantrum guide, and listen to the show by going to https://weturnedoutokay.com/142!

Come to my free, live, online class on handling Common Parenting Challenges!

Why: to learn :
– how to avoid fighting about parenting stuff with your spouse
what to do when your child rebels against your daily schedule
– how to teach your young child patience
– how to handle your young child’s disrespectful “No!”

When: Thursday, April 20, 2017, 8 PM EST

Class is interactive – bring your questions!

You’ll receive a free, downloadable reference for the next time you come up against one of these challenges…

Sign up for “How to Handle 4 Common Parenting Challenges” by clicking the button below:
Click Here to Register

 

This is such a common parenting challenge; so often each parent feels that their way is the correct way, and both have trouble agreeing on a way forward. Worse, it can be easy to get into an argument in front of the kids!

Here’s what to do if you find yourself in this situation:

– away from the kids, agree on some guidelines for “how much screen time/when;” “how to live through a temper tantrum without giving in;” rules for meal time, etc.

Speaking of temper tantrums – if you’re looking for a way to handle them, click the button below to download my free How to Handle Every Temper Tantrum guide! It even comes with a fridge-worthy, printable infographic so that everybody’s on the same page in handling a temper tantrum.

Click Here to Get the Guide

 

– choose a Word that either of you can invoke whenever things get uncomfortable; when one of you says this word, it’s an indication to the other that, before you continue discussing “this” in front of kids, the two of you need to talk privately.
This Word is an instrumental part of our parenting here in the Kolp household, we use it personally and I bet it could be really useful for you!

– work to have consistency with rules, so that one isn’t allowing something the other feels uncomfortable with

Stay tuned for Part 2 in the Common Parenting Challenges series! And if you have a Common Parenting Fail, something you’re struggling with in your home, get in touch! Let me know what it is, and hopefully I can address it on the show and get you some help.

Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/contact to share, and have a great day!