This is part two of a two-part series I’m doing on feeling better when all we can see are our faults; click here for last week’s, called Feeling like a Failure.
Stay tuned for next week’s newsletter, where I put one of the ideas I talk about today into practice.
“Be proud of yourself and keep the faith – I believe in you and you do too – there is
a turn around the bend when the sun will come out again.”
When a friend wrote those words to me, last week, when I was feeling so down, they really hit home.
I felt the impact of these words in my heart and in my soul, from all across the world (my friend lives in England.)
They gave me hope. Paradoxically, it was only while reading them that I realized how far away from hope I had been feeling.
I felt like she gave me a place to start, and a destination: the “turn around the bend when the sun will come out again.”
Now, I feel like I’m on a quest. (I absolutely love quests : )
And, I want to bring you along with me!
So let’s explore: how do we get to that turn around the bend?How do we find the place where we feel like we are succeeding at hitting our goals – whether the goal is about feeling happy inside, enjoying a closer bond with our children and family, or even just smiling at the new day when we wake up?
I see 4 ways, taken in any order and however they feel right for you. (That is, after all, part of the fun of a quest. It’s your journey, and no one can travel your road in quite the same wonderful, unique way that you can : )
4 Ways to Get to the Turn Around the Bend:
1. Look at what’s right in front of you.
We humans have such a tendency to do what my therapist calls “telescoping”… We will look way too far out, years and years ahead sometimes. And what we’re seeing isn’t necessarily good.
We’ll ask, “How can this kid, who can’t even [insert academic or life skill here] yet, ever succeed out in the world?”
When instead, we need to bring our focus back to the now.
What’s happening now, and how can we adjust it if we don’t like it?
Finding a small step that we can take now is what will bring the hazy future into good focus, one positive, tiny, step at a time.
2. Name five things you are grateful for.
Whenever I’m feeling down, this is my go-to.
So much so that in these last few months, when I have forgotten all that I have to be grateful for, my 15-year-old son will say to me “what are five things you are grateful for?”
It’s so good to be reminded. I do have so much to be grateful for!
3. Repeat after me: “My alone time is for your safety.”
One of my closest friends first introduced me to this expression, and now I live it. When I don’t get my alone time, my health suffers, my mindset suffers, and ultimately my family suffers.
Hopefully adopting this expression will help the people around you understand when you need to take time for yourself.
4. Try again tomorrow.
Even if today was a massive dumpster fire, with meltdowns and frustrations galore, we can still make a goal of trying again tomorrow.
Most of all, this means forgiving ourselves. For when we were short on patience, for when we weren’t kind. To ourselves, or to others.
Tomorrow is a new day. And with each tomorrow we get closer to the bend in the road where (as my British friend put it) the sun will come out again.
Thanks for reading!
Keep reading below for What’s up on the podcast/In the Facebook group/in NPC…
Wishing you a wonderful parenting week!
What’s up on the podcast this week:
A wonderful interview with Sunny Gault, a mom and podcaster, whose life has taken her to some really interesting places:
What’s up in the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group this week:
A quickie Magic Words for Parents on letting go to be happy in life:
Click here to check it out!
What’s up in the Ninja Parenting Community:
Get your questions in for Thursday evening’s live, members-only call!
(If you’re not a member yet, but want to become one, click here.)
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