When our oldest, Max, was five weeks old, there came a frightening Monday: his dad, Ben, kissed us both goodbye, got in the car, and went away to work.
For the whole day.
My mother-in-law had come and spent a week. My parents had come and spent a week.
Ben had gotten two weeks off, and then worked from home.
But all that ended today.
Now, it was just me. Just me, spending my first day here alone with this new being, who could not yet hold his head up and who had barely begun to smile.
I held him in my arms, waved goodbye to Ben, and wondered: what in heck were we going to do all day?
That’s when I learned the dirty secret of parenting:
Spending time with kids can be terrifying.
I would always wonder that same question, what’re we going to DO together?
And yet I would also feel terribly guilty, spending time away from Max to work, or exercise, or go on a date with his daddy.
Or even just take a breather for myself.
If you’re in that same spot, first of all let me offer you a huge hug!
After nearly 15 years
- Learning about kids and child development
- Teaching in an outstanding early childhood setting
- Coaching parents, helping them come through the tough stuff – the potty training, the sibling jealousy, the childcare dilemmas, the guilt, the self-doubt – and helping them bond with their young children
The important lessons I’ve learned come down to this:
1) Reign in the bad stuff. Get control of your child’s behavior. That’s the only way you can move on to the fun stuff.
2) Find great answers to the question “what are we going to DO together?”
3) Build on these two to foster the lasting bond, the deep connection with your child, that sustains your relationship for all of your lives.
Don’t feel like you have to do this alone!
We help you do this here at We Turned Out Okay, with:
- 2 ways you can work with me personally on your toughest parenting conundrums
- Free, high-quality child-rearing support and advice through the blog and podcast, which now has (if you were to listen 24/7) more than 11 days worth of content
- Free, quick guides on potty training and handling temper tantrums, both designed so you can watch the video, read the checklist, and channel your inner parent ninja – while addressing these huge parenting challenges – that same day
- Books that help you change your child’s behavior from bad to good; feel happy inside; and TRULY enjoy the time you spend with your family
Because that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?
This is my family! From right to left they are: Max, Jay, and Ben.
I am SO glad to know them and that I get to spend my days with them.
A documentary about me
My struggle with chronic illness – and how it’s helped strengthen the bonds I have with my family – is documented in this short film, Use Your Words; click here to check it out!