Welcome! In this episode I share a recent case study from my online private coaching practice, the Ninja Parenting Community (NPC), where the mom of a four-year-old was dealing with extreme temper tantrums, and fearful that her son would never learn to obey the rules. Even the ones for safety.
She struggled to see how good boundaries could improve that situation – until they did.
Here’s something I have learned during the coronavirus pandemic:
Understanding how to do the most basic things, like getting a child to obey you, is even more important now than ever. And yet the basics are elusive during the pandemic.
Today we dive into using a super basic thing, good boundaries, to get your child to obey you.
Also I share about what’s happening with the We Turned Out Okay Podcast… changes are coming, ones that will make the creation of the show sustainable for your host : )
It’s interesting, because good boundaries also come into play in talking about the changes to the show.
Our choices right now seem extremely limited, don’t they? We don’t have a choice in how the coronavirus spreads, we don’t have a lot of choices in how our children’s childcare and schooling works right now. For many of us even our own ability to be private, to have alone time, doesn’t feel like it’s under our control.
Today’s guest, Mariela Ortiz, helps us to a different mindset: she talks about “a daily practice of choice.”
Some things are in our control; we can make meaningful choices.
Listen to today’s conversation to figure out how to do that!
Notes and Links
Mariela invited me to be one of the experts in her Mommy Matters Summit, such an honor! And we have a GREAT conversation, which you can watch by signing up for the Summit at the link below. It started Monday, August 3 and will go through August 27, 2020, with a new guest expert each day!
Sign up to get 25 days’ worth of guests – including me – in your inbox by going to: mommymatterssummit.com
Get your FREE August 2020 inaugural issue of the We Turned Out Okay Playbook
I’m excited to share the start of something fun and helpful, the We Turned Out Okay Playbook! It’s a monthly publication I’m creating to help you feel like you have some power, and some good choices to make, even in the midst of all the insanity.
You can download the August 2020 PDF completely free! Go to: weturnedoutokay.com/playbook
Weekly “How is Karen overcoming burnout and exhaustion” Newsletter Series Continues
For the last seven weeks I have shared a newsletter each week about how I’m overcoming burnout and exhaustion, in this time where being a parent is so tough.
Last week I wrote about the part that music plays in my self-care (click here to read about that.)
Get the next newsletters in this series by going to: weturnedoutokay.com/weekly
I’ve been working on the We Turned Out Okay Playbook now for many months, and Issue 1/August 2020 is finally out! [Enrollment for Issue 1 wraps up on 8/1/2020… Enrollment for Issue 2/September 2020 begins mid-August : ]
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/playbook for more information and to subscribe…
Also, there is a music component to the Playbook that I describe more in depth in today’s newsletter. So read on for that : )
This is the latest in my summer-long series, taking you on my journey of recovering from overwhelm and burnout and learning ways to sustainably keep going. Click here for the first installment, “Feeling guilty,” and click here for last week’s update, “What is in our control?”
SENSITIVE EARS ALERT… Part way through this episode I share about a traumatic event that happened to me in my childhood. I ask that you put on headphones, or listen away from sensitive ears. Thank you!
Today I share three keys to success, when parenting in a pandemic or any crisis.
They are not difficult keys. Because if they were, we wouldn’t be able to do them as consistently as they need doing…
Instead, the first key is relaxing, the second key is enjoyable, and the the third key takes something negative and frames it to be positive.
Also: the day before I recorded this episode I had a total brainwave.
I connected up my superpower – helping people feel seen and cared for – to the reason I have this gift, and have had ever since I can remember.
It’s not a pretty reason.
When I was seven years old I was sexually abused, in my own home, with my mom right upstairs. (She was completely unaware, and I would be a senior in college before she discovered the extent of the trauma. In my first book, Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, I share about what my folks did that was helpful, even though they had no idea what had happened to me.)
After the incident, my whole personality changed. I felt lost, anxious every time we drove out of my ken in the car, and convinced that if I lost sight of my family, they had deserted me.
The day before recording this episode I had the following brainwave:
My superpower comes from the fact that no one gave me the care that I needed, no one came to my rescue on that day. No one had found me when I was lost.
So, I had to learn to do that for myself.
I had to take care of little Karen, because no one else was there to do that.
And it’s left me with a unique ability, that I’ve been practicing ever since: to make people feel seen, and cared for.
It’s become the defining value of my life.
So if you’re feeling lost, or as if no one cares about you, let me be that person for you.
As a child development expert, I’ve never yet met a parent who didn’t have some concerns for their children.
If you’re feeling like everything is impossible right now – lockdown, mask etiquette, school-at-at home, chaos in one corner and fire in another – I can help.
This is the latest in my summer-long series, taking you on my journey of recovering from overwhelm and burnout and learning ways to sustainably keep going. Click here for the first installment, “Feeling guilty,” and click here for last week’s update, “The real reasons to be kind instead of judgmental.”
We are going through the process of changing from employer-based healthcare to, well, non-employer-based healthcare (for lack of a better term).
Navigating social situations has only gotten worse in the pandemic – but it sure wasn’t always easy, even before!
Today’s guests, Evie Granville and Sarah Davis of the Modern Manners for Moms and Dads Podcast, have spent years helping parents navigate social minefields. With a book coming out in the fall and an awesome quiz that you can take right now (I did!), These two friends, educators, and parents have lots to contribute in helping us get along and raise our kids in these crazy times.
Listen to this episode to learn:
– how to navigate the toughest situations you might encounter
– how to understand your own approach to parenting
– how to shift that approach, if it’s not working as well as it could for you and your family
A few announcements
1. I share in this week’s preshow segment how frustrating I’m feeling, as a child-development expert, hearing from so many parents whose children are not doing well in the current educational climate.
Try the Ninja Parenting Community (NPC), our online virtual coaching practice, where parents are getting much needed help navigating the start to this crazy school year.
Right now you can try the Community for just $1 for your whole first month! Click the following link for details and to join NPC: weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC
A new publication I’m creating, the WTOO Playbook! The August 2020 issue is jampacked with help and hope as you navigate the beginning of this crazy school year.
Join my newsletter group to find out more about the WTOO Playbook: weturnedoutokay.com/weekly
3. I’ve been invited to be part of the Mommy Matters Virtual Summit, the brainchild of next week’s WTOO guest, parent Coach, mindfulness expert, and yoga instructor Mariela Ortiz!
The Summit starts in early August, and you can sign up for it by going to: Mommymatterssummit.com
If the return to preschool/childcare/school is on your mind – and I know it is, because I’ve spoken with lots of you over the last few weeks – this FREE Pandemic Back-to-School Challenge will help you:
– Take on your biggest concerns about the upcoming year
– Manage your children’s behavior, and your own emotions, so you’re ready for the upcoming changes
– Learn the 3 Keys to Success for starting this year off right, even amidst all the uncertainty
You can do this, and I’m excited to help!
The challenge runs for four days from Thursday, July 23-Sunday, July 26.
Each day I’m sharing a video with participants as well as inviting questions and success stories…
Also participants get to be present for the Live Challenge Wrap up on Sunday!
And I’m doing something I’ve never done before in a challenge, handing out MVP awards!
I know we can start this year off on a positive note, regardless of whatever else is happening.
Prove to yourself that you can do it – join our challenge!
Click the following link:
This is the latest in my summer-long series, taking you on my journey of recovering from overwhelm and burnout and learning ways to sustainably keep going. Click here for the first installment, “Feeling guilty,” and click here for last week’s’s installment, “I didn’t think it was going to work, but it did.”
I want to talk about judgment this week, and its antidote, kindness.
Maybe at first glance it’s hard to recognize the juxtaposition of these two ideas, or even in recognizing it, to understand how one contradicts the other.
Listening to this week’s podcast episode, my conversation with wonderful therapist Shannon Connery, PhD, helped to crystallize this idea for me, because Shannon uses herself as an example, telling her story of casting judgment on someone in the grocery store, the mom of a small baby who wasn’t wearing a mask.
As she and this mom moved through the grocery store, Shannon felt judgmental about the mom’s choice to not wear a mask.
Shannon thought about all of the reasons why the mom should wear a mask, and made unkind conclusions about the fact that she wasn’t wearing one.
Then an elderly couple came toward them.
The mom whipped out her mask, and put it on at the last possible moment before encountering this couple, and suddenly Shannon understood:
The baby became super upset, screaming, and gesturing and reaching for that mask.
I am excited to bring Shannon Connery, PhD, onto the show today, because she’s got lots of great ideas to help you keep going! (Click here for Shannon’s website, where you’ll find her podcast, her blog, and a wonderful free guide that she offers to help people overcome the challenges that we all have in our lives : )
Shannon is a therapist living in Colorado, and in our conversation today you’ll hear her story of losing nearly everything – and coming back stronger from that experience.
Shannon is also a podcaster, and her Fix Yourself is one of my favorites – she helps us all know what to do when we encounter difficult events and struggles in our lives. Shannon shares so much about herself, and her feelings, and what she’s tried that works to keep going and to help her family members and patients thrive.
Today we talk about:
– The role of empathy and positivity in helping you keep going
– Steps we are taking (and that you can also take) to dismantle racism
– What Shannon is doing to help those that she works with through the pandemic
Video of our conversations – as well as lots of key links from this conversation – are available at weturnedoutokay.com/339
A couple notes from the preshow segment:
– Registration is now open for the private coaching practice for parents that I run (the Ninja Parenting Community), so you can join now if you need the extra help from a child development expert, and the support of a wonderful online community! weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC
– All throughout July I’m offering free live trainings, and even a free challenge! Get notified of these at the following link: weturnedoutokay.com/weekly
Hello! This is the latest in my summer-long series, taking you on my journey of recovering from overwhelm and burnout and learning ways to sustainably keep going. Click here for the first installment, “Feeling guilty.”
First of all, how are you today?
I hope you are hanging in there!
I’m still having good success with the subject of last week’s newsletter, feeling better now that I’m not “obsessively checking” the Internet.
I even noticed that my tendon disorder is better – my arms and hands bother me less – when I am not scrolling, pinching, tapping, or swiping.
(Click here to read last week’s newsletter, “The first thing that’s helping me overcome burnout and overwhelm”)
However, I do have a sore knee.
This started with a strengthening workout – my first in about three weeks. I should have remembered that I can’t jump in at full strength, after not working out for three weeks. But I didn’t remember.