My darlings, this website is broken. Here’s how you can access the podcast and/or my essays : )

Hello friends! After 6 1/2 years of working beautifully, my website has broken… It looks fine from the outside but its inner workings are, well, not working.

At first it had me tearing my hair out!

Since then, roughly 3 months before I wrote this post, I’ve learned that not only is this not a tragedy, it’s a gentle teacher from the universe.

Instead of hurting my hands and arms and soul, spending my time pursuing things such as “SEO“ or attempting to maintain a website that has become bloated, ungainly, and not representative of what I do anymore…

I am moving!
And all the good stuff is coming with me <3

This move will take some time.

My hope is to have it sorted by the end of the year, so in the meantime I am going to ask for your grace. And your patience.

Please know that in asking you, I am also asking myself for those things… (When I do too much it all goes wrong. But this much is clear: it always seems impossible, until it’s done.)

Throughout this time I am continuing to create both the podcast and the weekly essays!

Here’s where you can listen to the We Turned Out Okay podcast:

Apple Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOApple

Spotify… http://bit.ly/WTOOSpotify

Stitcher Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOStitcher

And I have a HUGE surprise for folks who sign up to get my (fun, useful, and completely free) weekly newsletter!

Beginning in October 2020 I am releasing a We Turned Out Okay Playbook, completely free of charge, to each and every newsletter subscriber!

That’s a $50 value every month for FREE.
In addition to the fun stories, tools, and ideas I share weekly in each essay.

I’ll release them each month in this way- for newsletter subscribers – at least through the end of 2022.

Why? Because the Playbook is awesome and I want to give you a chance to play!

Go here to join the fun:

https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly

Wishing you a wonderful start to the learning year, an autumn filled with every good thing, and a restful wrapping-up of this… interesting, let’s call it… year.

xoxo,

K

371: What do coaches do all day?

I’m thrilled to bring you this conversation with world-class coach Mike Harris!
Mike is currently writing a book on the value he holds most dear, freedom.
He’s a deep thinker who understands the importance of irreverence – in fact I almost called today’s episode after something Mike says in our conversation:
“There is a certain irreverence in having choice.”

He brings playful energy, a fascinating life journey that brought him where he is today, and at heart a vision for how we can all enjoy the pants off of our lives!

Here are some other mic drops you’ll hear Mike share:
“The world is skewed toward a linear expression of how things are supposed to go.”
“What if play weren’t a reward in a transaction?”
“What if we lived our entire lives in the value of freedom?”
It’s so good!

A couple notes:
1. This was originally supposed to be two episodes… I chose to keep the tape running, instead bringing you one longer one. If the ideas are flying at you fast and furious, and you need to pause and come back, I wanted to give you the choice of when and how to do that. But I bet that you, like me, will dive in and this time will go so quickly!
2. Fellow world-class coach Marilyn Dollar was planning to join us but there was a technological snafu… You’ll hear us talk about her, and while she doesn’t make it into today’s conversation she will be coming on the show. So stay tuned : )

I hope you love this conversation as much as I did!

Here are the links that come up in today’s episode:

Mike’s home-on-the-web, MikeFHarris.com

Books that have had a huge influence on Mike:
Crazy Good by Steve Chandler
Tao Te Ching

Books that have had a huge influence on me:
The Courage to Heal
The Jeeves and Wooster books by PG Woodhouse (I cite one in this conversation, The Jeeves Omnibus. But they’re all amazing)

Office Space, the movie

100 Truths You Will Learn Too Late, an amazing book

Cory Wong, the awesome song by Vulfpeck featuring guitarist Cory Wong

Episode 363, my conversation with Washington Post Parent Columnist Meghan Leahey

Episode 48, my conversation with author and poet Daniel Wolff

This episode’s home on the web: weturnedoutokay.com/371

Listen to We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOApple

Spotify… http://bit.ly/WTOOSpotify

Stitcher Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOStitcher

370: All you need is

Maybe it’s not quite true, the title of this episode.
Maybe today’s value isn’t quite as all-encompassing as that makes it sound.
But it sure comes close for me.
We started this series back in episode one with a question, and I want to wrap up in the same way.
Today’s is: If there was only one thing that we needed, what would it be?

Thank you so much for listening!
This has been an exercise in vulnerability for me, sharing these values with you. It means SO much – more than you will ever know – to have you along for this ride.
I am full of love and appreciation for you, in this moment and always <3
Karen

PS I have an invitation for you: if you haven’t already, get to know me a little better by signing up for my weekly newsletter.
It’s free, and I promise to hold your email address – and thus your heart – safely, in both my hands…
Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to sign up : )

This episode’s home-on-the-web: https://weturnedoutokay.com/370

The link to the fourth episode in this series (this is the fifth, and final)… https://weturnedoutokay.com/369

Click https://weturnedoutokay.com/364 for Janine Halloran’s most recent appearance on We Turned Out Okay! It was super good, and perhaps not coincidentally about ADHD as a superpower – that’s what Janine often tells her clients, when they get this diagnosis.

Listen to We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!

Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOApple

Spotify… http://bit.ly/WTOOSpotify

Stitcher Podcasts… Http://bit.ly/WTOOStitcher

369: Not play…

If I know you – and if you’re a longtime listener – I bet you saw the words “not play” and immediately said “D’oh! Where Karen is concerned, play is always a thing!”
But not today.
No, today’s value eats play for breakfast.

Thank you so much for listening! I am glad you’re here <3
Karen

PS I have an invitation for you: if you haven’t already, get to know me a little better by signing up for my weekly newsletter.
It’s free, and I promise to hold your email address – and thus your heart – safely, in both my hands…
Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to sign up : )

This episode’s home-on-the-web: https://weturnedoutokay.com/369

The link to the third episode in this series (this is the fourth)… https://weturnedoutokay.com/368

Click here for the Mindfulness Coach app by the American Veterans Administration. It’s AMAZING.

Listen to We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!

Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOApple

Spotify… http://bit.ly/WTOOSpotify

Stitcher Podcasts… Http://bit.ly/WTOOStitcher

368: Not exhilaration…

I’m playing my little game again today, trying to guess what you’ll think the next value in our series is… (For those of you keeping score, this is Part 3 of 5.)
Today’s is something even cooler, even bigger, and even more mind-blowing than exhilaration.
Which is saying something, because Exhilaration is my 2021 Word of the Year!

Thank you so much for listening! I am glad you’re here <3
Karen

PS I have an invitation for you: if you haven’t already, get to know me a little better by signing up for my weekly newsletter.
It’s free, and I promise to hold your email address – and thus your heart – safely, in both my hands…
Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to sign up : )

This episode’s home-on-the-web: https://weturnedoutokay.com/368

The link to the second episode in this series (this is the third)… https://weturnedoutokay.com/367

Click https://weturnedoutokay.com/360 for my conversation with the amazing Julie Lythcott-Haims, which sometimes I still listen to and feel knocked on the head all over again – in a good way.

Listen to We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!

Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOApple

Spotify… http://bit.ly/WTOOSpotify

Stitcher Podcasts… Http://bit.ly/WTOOStitcher

What do you wish you knew when you were 22?

A young friend of mine recently graduated from college.

The family of the graduate has invited us all to sign a lovely book for her.

The question we’ve been asked to answer in the book is:
What do you wish you knew, when you were 22?

I’ve been thinking, and thinking… and finally I got an idea:

I’ll share not just my ideas – but invite yours as well!

(All you have to do is reply here , and let me know what you wish you knew when you were 22. I’ll copy and paste and print our collective wisdom for my friend : )

What do I wish I knew when I was 22?

I wish I knew that we could look for loopholes.

I used to take it as law, when an authority figure said “no.”
But now, I realize that’s not true!
A no can always become a yes. It depends on how much I’m willing to push for my yes.

For me, it’s also depended on the kind of support I get.
One example is from about a decade ago, when I first developed the tendon disorder that I still live with, and lost the ability to walk. Continue reading “What do you wish you knew when you were 22?”

367: Not creativity but…

So, as I’m doing this series on the values that I hold most dear, I’m playing a little game with myself. I’m imagining you, asking yourself “can I guess today’s value?”
All I can say is, if you guess creativity, you are wrong…
But not completely wrong.

Thank you so much for listening! I am glad you’re here <3
Karen

PS I have an invitation for you: if you haven’t already, get to know me a little better by signing up for my weekly newsletter.
It’s free, and I promise to hold your email address – and thus your heart – safely, in both my hands…
Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to sign up : )

This episode’s home-on-the-web: https://weturnedoutokay.com/367

The link to the first episode in this series (this is the second)… https://weturnedoutokay.com/366

Click here for the link to the TED talk that I reference today, called The Birth of a Word.
It is awesome and you’ve got to listen to it!

Listen to We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!

Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOApple

Spotify… http://bit.ly/WTOOSpotify

Stitcher Podcasts… Http://bit.ly/WTOOStitcher

Then, friends, it’s a movement

This picture was taken on the day that my children learned that sometimes, there IS “a part of the wedding where they do karate”

In recent weeks I’ve had something of an epiphany, realizing that everything I’m about – seriously, everything – comes down to the value of play.

This epiphany came about at the same time as I realized: I am growing, and changing.

You may not know this about me, but I’m so much more than a parent coach.

Yes, I teach important concepts for parents, like how to handle every temper tantrum (click here for the video to do this – and here for the five step checklist that comes along with the video).
Just last night in my 2021 Year of Empowerment program, I coached a parent on how to handle backtalk from her five-year-old.

These two ideas – that everything I’m about comes down to play, and that I am growing and changing – have collided for me in the form of the creation of a movement.

A movement is a vision of change for the world.
A vision for the future.

My vision is of:
– A kind world, where creativity is encouraged.
– Where every person has meaningful choices about how they spend their time.
– Where every person feels validated, believed in.
– Where rather than pushing down our emotions or our problems, we work together to lift each other up and solve our problems.

The vehicle for this movement? Play. Play, play, play play play.

The title of this email comes from a song.  Continue reading “Then, friends, it’s a movement”

366: A world where you can be anything

I am excited to bring you into this, the first in a five-part series on really important subject – and a fun one too!
But I don’t want to say too much about it. I want you to listen, and see if what you hear resonates.
For this first part though, I do have one question:
What should you be, in a world where you can be anything?

Thank you so much for listening! I am glad you’re here <3
Karen

PS I have an invitation for you: if you haven’t already, get to know me a little better by signing up for my weekly newsletter.
It’s free, and I promise to hold your email address – and thus your heart – safely, in both my hands…
Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to sign up : )

This episode’s home-on-the-web: https://weturnedoutokay.com/366

Listen to We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!

Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOApple

Spotify… http://bit.ly/WTOOSpotify

Stitcher Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOStitcher

The S word

There is one word that I despise in the English language almost more than any other word.

I think of it as “the S word.”

The problem with this word is that the person who’s saying it feels good – and the person to whom it is being said often feels bad.

Attending a masterclass earlier in the pandemic, I learned of new scientific research on what lights up different areas of a person’s brain.

When we tell others what we think will be in their best interest, pleasure centers in our brain light up.

In other words when we are giving advice, that’s when the pleasure centers in our brain light up.

If that advice has been solicited – in other words, if the person on the receiving end of the advice has asked for it – the pleasure centers in their brain light up too.

But when someone gives unsolicited advice – advice that was not asked for – the pain centers in the recipient’s brain light up.

Perhaps you have had that experience of being given advice that you did not ask for. If you’d like, in this moment, call to mind a situation where that’s what happened.

The situation I’m thinking about: when someone close to me tried to give me advice on my skiing. I was going along, happily skiing, and thinking that all was right with the world when suddenly this person pulled up next to me and told me “You really should…”

Boom. Pain centers immediately came to life in my brain. Continue reading “The S word”