Is Spanking Ever Okay? A Your Child Explained Episode (Podcast Episode 223)

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

As you probably did, I got spanked as a kid.

But, probably unlike you, I became an early childhood educator and lesson one was “we never, EVER spank a child.”

Still, it’s tempting, especially if it means stopping a behavior that you cannot stand for one more minute.

So, is it ever okay to spank your child? Do you ever do it?

Today – on We Turned Out Okay’s THIRD birthday! – we dig into why parents spank kids, the lessons a child learns from being spanked, and what other options we parents have.


WHY Parents Spank Kids

Not surprisingly, spanking doesn’t happen when your child’s behavior is smooth and easy.

It’s when they balk at what you are telling them to do.

When they drag their feet, whine, nag at a sibling until that sibling retaliates.

Spankings happen when we feel that we have been pushed to the absolute brink – when we feel like we have got no other choice.

Take a listen to this episode if you’ve ever felt like that, especially if you’re not quite sure that spanking is what you should be doing, but you don’t see any other option.

For notes to today’s episode, including:

– A 3-step method you can follow to discipline without spanking
– The sign-up for the 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting FREE online class, which distills everything I’ve learned into 3 simple lessons for true enjoyment of this parenting life
– Key Links and every back episode of We Turned Out Okay

Go to

Thank you so much for listening!


WHAT Spanking Teaches Kids

Unfortunately, spanking doesn’t teach the lesson we intend.

Sure, it stops the immediate issue, so by all appearances we have done our job.

But the child learns something that we don’t intend:

The child learns that the biggest person wins.

That might makes right, and right now they are not mighty.

But just you wait! Someday, they WILL be mighty, and then they’ll show us.

And the cycle repeats.

So, no.

Spanking is NEVER okay.

Just below, I share exactly what to do instead of spanking.


What’s frustrating you right now in your parenting?

But first, if you need help feeling truly happy inside as you are raising your young children, come and join us in the private coaching community where I help parents like you change their mindset – and their child’s behavior – for the better every day.

NPC Parent Coaching Community Membership helps you through:
– Live, members-only calls where you get solutions to your toughest parenting challenges
– Courses on everything from stopping sibling rivalry to what to do instead of spanking
– Parent Coaching Calls that members call “the most helpful part of my Ninja Parenting Community membership”

With all that and more, we have got you covered.

Join the Ninja Parenting Community today and make the time you spend with your young children your favorite time!
Get Help in our Private Coaching Community Today


INSTEAD of Spanking, Do This

In today’s episode you hear about a parent in our NPC online, private coaching community whose child refused to get into the car, and so the mom felt that she had no choice but to spank.

She hated it, but she didn’t know what else to do…

In courageously sharing her frustrations, and being open to learning, this parent changed both her life, and her child’s.

If she did it, if she broke the spanking cycle, so can you.

Here’s my 3-step method to disciplining without violence:

1) Acknowledge your child’s feelings: “I understand how you feel.”

2) Explain: “But, this is our only choice right now.”

3) Calmly, firmly, as gently as you can – and despite all screaming and protests – make the child do what needs to be done.

These are the basics. In the Ninja Parenting Community, we go into LOTS more detail – there is even a course module called “What to do instead of spanking your child”!

If you need help breaking the cycle of disciplining by violence in your family, join our community to learn how – just click the orange button above. We’ll help you get started right away!


The 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting Class

In today’s episode I share about the live, free, online class I am teaching

If you want to change your child’s behavior from bad to good, feel happy inside, and start truly enjoying the time you spend with your young kids, you want to take this FREE class.

In it I teach the distillation of everything I have learned about:
– What holds parents up from happiness
– How to change a child’s bad behavior to good
– How to make the time you spend with your kids into happy family time

Click this button for details and to sign up for the 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting Class!
Click Here for the 3 Secrets of Happy Parenting Class


Important WTOO Key Links

This isn’t the first episode I’ve done on spanking – click here to listen to episode 117, which gets more into the psychology of why spanking isn’t a good idea.

If you need practical advice to deal with your child’s bad behavior, check out my book.
It’s called Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, and I wrote it especially to help parents handle kids’ tough behavior, because parents need to eliminate the bad before they can be happy at home.
It’s available in Amazon, but since you’re here – since you took the time to come visit – I want to give you a better deal than Amazon.
Click here for details on Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics!


Join the private WTOO Facebook group… Click here!


Click here to check out We Turned Out Okay’s How-to Videos, to learn about how to help your kids eat more fruits and vegetables, how to help them learn to read, and more!


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