Create the best conditions possible to bring out your child’s good behavior

Happy Wednesday!

This is the second in a 3-part series on what to do when you feel like you just can’t win as a parent.
Click here for part one, all about getting perspective on your child’s behavior, so you do not feel overwhelmed.
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Recently a mom in my private coaching community posted about the tough time she was having, dealing with her 3-year-old’s behavior. In the previous week her child:
– Ran from his childcare classroom multiple times
– Slapped a teacher
– Spit, kicked, and hit multiple people, multiple times, including the mom herself
– Shouted, screamed, and melted down, mostly in public
– Bit a child at the playground

I created a video for her, outlining 3 critical tools to get out of that negative space, despite all of the negativity.

Last week, in this newsletter, I shared the first tool to getting out of that negative space.

Today I want to share the the second tool:

The knowledge of WHY kids push our buttons.

Paradoxically, kids push our buttons so they can feel safe.

I know how weird that sounds. Continue reading “Create the best conditions possible to bring out your child’s good behavior”

When your child embarrasses you in public | Podcast Episode 296

So, today’s Parenting News segment makes me cry, those mushy, parenty, happy/sad tears. You know the ones. That’s coming up in today’s break.

Also! Join my private coaching community for just $1 for your whole first 30 days!
Get the support you need to help your child – or yourself – through the huge challenges that parenting can bring.
This is for a limited time, only through September 30, because of a technical screwup. Listen to the break for more on this.
And click here to join the Ninja Parenting Community! (That’s what it’s called, or NPC for short.)

If it hasn’t happened already,

there will likely come a day when your child says or does something super cringe-worthy.
How will you handle it?
Listen in to today’s episode, to learn how to handle it best!

Plus in Parenting News:
Recently The Wall that Heals, a moving model of the Vietnam War Memorial in Washington, DC, came to my area. And while it may seem like a peculiar thing to feature in the Parenting News segment, I believe it’s relevant. I share why in today’s break.

Also, in this episode I share about the free guide on “How to handle every temper tantrum.”
Click weturnedoutokay.com/handle-tantrums-now to get the guide : )

Join us!

 

Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter

Click weturnedoutokay.com/296 for show notes which include a cheat sheet of how to handle it when your child embarrasses you in public.

Today’s episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, and an incredible resource she has created to help your child handle even the biggest feelings!
Click copingskillsforkids.com/coping-cue-cards to check out Janine’s Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks.

Continue reading “When your child embarrasses you in public | Podcast Episode 296”

What to do during, and after, your child’s next temper tantrum

Happy Wednesday!

FYI: I totally screwed something up, and now that it is fixed, I want to offer you the Friends and Family Membership Rate to join in the private coaching community I host online for parents. Read more about this below.

Also: Links to each part of the in-depth, 4-part newsletter series I recently did can be found just below my signature. (Feedback was that many of you found that series super helpful and so I want it to be available all through the start to this school year!)

Today, I want to share about a really cool thing one of my private coaching clients did recently.
It helped her:
– Make the most of her time at home (she’s a busy single mom)
– Enjoy family time with her 3-year-old son.

Win-win!

Mama Llama, who keeps her identity anonymous in the community, posted in recently about an extremely difficult daycare pickup and evening:
“[On the way home] he yelled and kicked my seat. He flipped out getting out of the car at home grabbing things out of my hands and screaming.”
That wasn’t all:
“He thrashed around the lobby stomping and hitting the mailboxes. We finally made our way upstairs where he continued to scream and kick and hit.”
And even THAT wasn’t all:
“He lost [the privilege of playing with a toy] for the night and the hitting and kicking got worse and he started throwing toys at me.”

Continue reading “What to do during, and after, your child’s next temper tantrum”

How to Help Kids Get Along: Masterclass | Podcast Episode 287

How does one mom handle it, when she finds her daughters throwing dirt at each other?

No matter the season, there’s always an opportunity for kids to come into conflict with other kids.

Whether siblings, cousins, classmates or just somebody at the playground, mean words, pushing, and other acts of frustration or aggression abound.

So, do we parents just have to live with it, put up with the bickering and hard feelings?

Nope!

This masterclass is a distillation of three months’ worth of work in the private, online community I run for parents of young children.
During April, May, and June 2019 we dove headfirst into the problems real parents really experience, and how to alleviate it when kids aren’t getting along.

Today I’m bringing you behind the scenes, directly into the Ninja Parenting Community, sharing the information you need to help your kids actually get along!

Some of these ideas may seem unconventional, and likely (unless you are a member of NPC) they are new to you, but they REALLY work.

In fact we finish out with a success story! How does one mom handle it, when she finds her daughters throwing dirt at each other?

Find out in this episode of We Turned Out Okay!

Plus in Parenting News: This article in the Atlantic, on Fred Rogers (of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood) and how he approached speaking with children, is one of those articles I wanted to hug to my chest <3
I share why in today’s Parenting News segment.
Plus I read my recent review of Audrey Monke’s wonderful book, Happy Campers!

Join us!

Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/287 for:

  • Notes from this Masterclass on How to Help Kids Get Along with Other Kids
  • The Masterclass video
  • Links to free guides on potty training, handling every temper tantrum, and more

And thank you so much for listening!

Today’s episode is brought to you by…
You, if you have purchased one of my parenting books! I write books that help parents truly enjoy family time, by sharing tools and formulas that you can use to change your child’s behavior from bad to good, and also that help you feel happy inside.
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/books to check them out!

Continue reading “How to Help Kids Get Along: Masterclass | Podcast Episode 287”

4 Ways Kids Aren’t Like Submarines – The problem with Zero Tolerance | Podcast Episode 266

What’s your biggest parenting challenge?
I really want to help you with it! (For context, listen to this recent quickie bonus episode : )
Click weturnedoutokay.com/contact to go to my contact page and share what’s toughest for you as a parent. Thank you sooooo much!

How do you react when your child makes a mistake, does something wrong, mouths off?

If you respond to bad behavior with lesson-teaching/consequences mode engaged – in other words, if you have “zero tolerance” for your child’s transgressions – you’re doing your child a disservice.

Even worse, you’re doing your relationship with your young child a disservice.

That’s what this episode posits, anyway. Take a listen and see if you agree!

PS The title and subject of today’s episode came from conversations with my therapist.

“We can’t have zero tolerance when we’re talking about kids,” he often says; “zero tolerance is for submarines.”

If these two concepts seem completely unrelated to you, and your daily life with your young child, I encourage you to listen in to today’s episode! All will become clear : )

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/266 for:

  • A cheat sheet on the 4 ways kids are not like submarines – and what works better than “zero tolerance” when they do something wrong
  • To share your biggest parenting challenge, and/or sign up for one of our free guides
  • The video of the week: “How to handle your child’s bad behavior”

And thank you so much for listening!

Continue reading “4 Ways Kids Aren’t Like Submarines – The problem with Zero Tolerance | Podcast Episode 266”

“When they misbehave the most, that’s when they need us the most.” Speaking with Dr. Laura Markham for podcast episode 255!

Kids. Sometimes, it’s a good thing they’re cute.

Welcome! Scroll all the way down to the bottom of post and click the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

 

 

When a coaching client of mine recently

posted an article by today’s guest in our Ninja Parenting Community forums, I was introduced to one of the great positive parenting forces of our time: Dr. Laura Markham.

As soon as I visited her Aha Parenting website, and read some of the advice Dr. Laura shares, I knew you needed to be introduced to her too!

Today our conversation gets into vulnerability, trust, and resiliency. Dr. Laura helps us really enjoy our lives, and our kids.

I hope our conversation helps you gain a better understanding of this whole parenting thing. It sure helped me!

Temper Tantrums and Potty Training:

During today’s break I share about two helpful free guides I offer.
While the podcast is long-form – your opportunity to look into the mind of a child development expert – the free guides are super quick.

You can watch the video, read the checklist, and immediately handle the temper tantrums or get started with potty training (depending on which guide you choose : )

  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to handle every temper tantrum
  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to successfully potty train your child

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/255 for:

  • Links to Dr. Laura’s website, which contains tons of resources for you
  • Information on my latest book, 10 Secrets Happy Parents Know, officially out in the world!!
  • The video of the week: “How to get my kids to stop fighting with each other”

And thank you so much for listening! Continue reading ““When they misbehave the most, that’s when they need us the most.” Speaking with Dr. Laura Markham for podcast episode 255!”

“Is it shyness or bad manners?” 12 Ways to handle your child’s stranger anxiety | Podcast Episode 254

HEADS UP: At the top of the show, we say we’re going to tell you if we go into PG-13 territory. In the second half of this episode, I share about being sexually abused at age 7. You may want to listen away from your littles, or with headphones.

“Is it shyness or bad manners?” When a member of our private coaching community asked this question during a live members-only call recently, I knew I needed to get you a show about handling stranger anxiety.

We’ve got 12 ways for you to handle your child’s stranger anxiety… and we talk about how stranger anxiety isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

I hope this is a helpful episode as you head into the holiday season, and your young child is meeting lots of new people!

Temper Tantrums and Potty Training:

During today’s break I share about two wonderful free guides I offer.
While the podcast is long-form – your opportunity to look into the mind of a child development expert – the free guides are quick-and-effective.

You can watch the video, read the checklist, and immediately handle the temper tantrums or get started with potty training (depending on which guide you choose : )

  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to handle every temper tantrum
  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to successfully potty train your child

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/254 for:

  • A cheat sheet on the 12 ways to handle stranger anxiety
  • Links to the articles I quote from today
  • The link to the WTOO Facebook page where Wednesday 12/12 I’m doing a Facebook live Ask Me Anything to kick off the launch of my latest book, 10 Secrets Happy Parents Know, officially out today!!
  • The video of the week: “My child is anxious around new people”

And thank you so much for listening! Continue reading ““Is it shyness or bad manners?” 12 Ways to handle your child’s stranger anxiety | Podcast Episode 254″

How to keep your child from running off at the playground | Podcast Episode 251

“What’s a reasonable consequence for when I ask my young child to stop running away, and he doesn’t stop, at the park?”
This is the gist of a recent question from one mom in our We Turned Out Okay Facebook group.

I shared what I think is a pretty good answer… and then other parents in the group shared their ideas. These ideas were so great – and so different from mine – that I knew I needed to talk about this issue on the podcast.

So, hope you enjoy this episode, dedicated to helping you set limits, and enjoy more of your time, when you are at a park or playground or out in the world with your young child!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/251 for:

  • A breakdown of how you can reign in your young child, without overdoing it or losing your mind
  • What’s up in the We Turned Out Okay universe, including tons of free resources : )
  • The video of the week: “Good behavior at meals, good behavior at the park”
  • The sign-up for our upcoming ‘When to potty train, How to potty train’ free online class

And thank you so much for listening! Continue reading “How to keep your child from running off at the playground | Podcast Episode 251”

Start weeknights off right: Part 3 of the Tame the Weeknight Chaos series (Podcast Episode 234)

Welcome to Part 3 of our Taming the Weeknight Chaos series!

Click here for the FREE Tame the Weeknight Chaos Guide, including Video & Checklist

Today we are talking about how to start weeknights off right.

I’ve got 3 easy steps that you can use to get a peaceful and enjoyable start to this very evening!
This video shares how to start your weeknights off right:

Want my complete, free Guide to Taming Weeknight chaos, which includes a 6-point checklist and a video?
Get the guide – and also watch the video module I made to accompany this episode – at:
weturnedoutokay.com/234

Thanks and happy listening! Continue reading “Start weeknights off right: Part 3 of the Tame the Weeknight Chaos series (Podcast Episode 234)”