We have all been hit hard by the news recently. And if we, as adults, are feeling the strain and stress, it’s a safe bet that our children feel it too.
How can you help?
In this bonus episode I offer five ways.
Click here for episode 261 of We Turned Out Okay, my conversation with Maureen Healy (whose Bubble Breathing exercise I suggest in this episode.)
Picture this: your children are facing up across the topsoil mound in your backyard. And they’re throwing dirt at each other.
You have no idea how it started, or who started it. All you know is, you sent them outside to play and here they are, hurling dirt.
Perhaps your first instinct is to lose it, and fly off the handle.
To shout, to send them to their rooms, maybe even to spank them.
It would feel so good… To show them who’s boss, and to make them listen to your authority.
And, maybe that would work in the moment. Maybe you’d end up with more obedient kids – in the short-term, at least.
But when a coaching client of mine experienced this exact scenario, she did something different.
She did something that, together, we had been working on:
Heads up: a week from tomorrow I’m teaching a FREE online parenting class, “How to Help Your Kids Get Along with Other Kids!” Learn more and register for the class by clicking here.
While I did get 2 advanced chapters of Educating Happy Kids: 9 Ways to Help Your Children Learn What They Need to Know into the Ninja Parenting Community, I had high hopes of getting a cover survey to you this week… But I was unable to do that.
I’ve experienced a flareup of my tendon condition, and cover creation, while super fun, requires a lot of clicking.
I haven’t been able to do it.
And I am sorry about that.
It hurts to get in here and report that I wasn’t able to do something for you that I had set out to do.
But I am pressing on! Hopefully within the next week I will be able to share covers and get your input on the one you like the best.
The dangers of YouTube and how to protect your child from them
In response to an Educating Happy Kids advanced chapter, she wrote into our forums: “I think “YouTube is Dangerous” was well done, but you neglect to explain that your example is just that, an example. It’s not the only place where those problematic algorithms live.”
This mom has a great point.
Probably like you, I love YouTube and use it frequently. But it does have its dangers, and they are problematic for this very reason: just about everyone uses YouTube.
Including our kids. With so many millions upon millions of children using YouTube, it represents a huge danger, and thus is worthy of consideration all by itself, in a blog post like this.
As life partners, we all have some disagreements.
But what if you feel like your disagreements are interfering in family life?
That’s what this episode is all about, so if you’re worrying about any of this you’re in the right place!
I’ve got 3 ways to get your spouse on the same page as you are.
Plus: in Parenting News, we consider coding as one of the academic 3Rs.
Links to a whole bunch of good stuff, including the key links talked about today and free potty training and temper tantrum free guides
The video of the week: “My spouse isn’t on board with how I’m raising our kids”
And thank you so much for listening!
Live Q&A and Open House Tour
Ever wished you could check out the private coaching community that I run for parents of young children?
Do you have questions about if it could work for you, even in your busy, insane life and with whatever technical skills you possess (especially if you feel like they’re not very good)?
You’re in luck! On Thursday, April 25 at 1 PM EST I am throwing open the doors to the Ninja Parenting Community!
I’m taking you right inside, and showing you:
– What our members love about it
– How the community helps parents turn family time into “the best time of the day”
– And I’m taking questions too!
It’s free… I’m so excited to bring you in and show you around!
It’s live… But even if you can’t be there live, signing up gets you the replay so you can rewatch as many times as you like. It’s where my heart and soul is… because I get to work closely with so many amazing parents.
What difference, you might be wondering, can it possibly make to my kids if I have good relationships with other grown-ups?
Actually, it matters quite a bit.
In this installment of the Raising Successful Kids series we talk about the impact of our relationships, including with our spouses and life-partners, on the eventual fulfillment and happiness of our children.
Key links from our conversation, including the resources I share, to help you understand this idea and move forward with it
The video of the week: “How does my relationship affect my kids?”
And thank you so much for listening!
Temper Tantrums and Potty Training:
During today’s break I share about two helpful free guides I offer.
While the podcast is long-form – your opportunity to look into the mind of a child development expert – the free guides are super quick.
You can watch the video, read the checklist, and immediately handle the temper tantrums or get started with potty training (depending on which guide you choose : )
Click here for the FREE video and checklist to handle every temper tantrum
Click here for the FREE video and checklist to successfully potty train your child
Want to receive valuable ideas and tips on parenting, without either free guide above? Click here for my weekly parenting newsletter!
Recently one of the moms in my parent coaching community wrote in to share that her 4-year-old sons were about to start school… in a preschool-through-12th-grade school where corporal punishment is used.
“I can’t imagine [my boys] doing anything that would warrant a paddling, but I could not make myself check that box saying it was okay,” she wrote in our forums.
She then shared that, if parents check the “no, don’t spank my kid” box, children are exposed to other punishments such as a 3-day suspension and zeros on any assignments missed!
I was shocked. In every state there are laws against striking people in prisons and in the military; in most every state it’s illegal to strike an animal.
But it turns out that in 19 states, it’s okay to strike a child in school.
Come down the rabbit hole with me, into the world of corporal punishment.
It’s a world that might be much closer to you than you ever imagined.
“Today my 2.5-year-old and his Dad were in a car accident… This happened around 1 PM today and my son has been talking about it and asking questions all evening. I’m trying to answer in simple clear terms but I feel over my head. It feels like a punch in the gut every time it comes up again.”
So wrote one of our Ninja Parenting Community members over the summer. Scary stuff!
Helping her process her young child’s trauma, and helping her through her own, has been a real focus of mine ever since.
So it seemed only right to share these lessons with you!
That way you’ll be prepared if something traumatic happens that involves your children.
Tune in to find out 3 ways to help your young child process trauma – and read about these 3 ways, find the entire back catalog of the podcast, watch my recent YouTube video about how to make big parenting decisions, and check out lots more stuff at weturnedoutokay.com/242 …
And thanks for listening!
3 Ways to help your young child process a traumatic event
With something upsetting happens in the life of a young child, they need fairly continual reassurance that they’re safe, and that the people around them will take care of them and keep them safe.
But as with our Ninja Parenting Community member’s recent experience, trying to give them that reassurance can be stress-inducing and overwhelming for us parents.
So, here are 3 ways to help your child confront, process, and come out the other side when something traumatic happens:
1) Let them talk and play it out.
Knowing and truly understanding that these questions and concerns will continually come up for your child can in itself make it easier to handle constant questioning.
Letting them ask these questions, talk about the situation, and even play it out over and over again is a necessary step in processing and moving beyond trauma for children.
2) Read, and play, and do normal stuff.
After something upsetting has happened, give your young child the reassurance that “we’re getting back to normal.” You can best do this by making sure that, as much as possible, you keep your child in a regular routine, with regular bedtimes and mealtimes.
3) Give your child time, and trust the process.
They will feel better, and when they do the questions and continual processing will go away.
Here’s what this NPC member reported a few weeks after the initial trauma:
“A positive update – now a couple weeks out, he’s asking only occasionally about it and has heard the same consistent positive answers enough times to seem secure and okay.
Thank you, Karen!!”
If you’ve recently gone through something upsetting or dramatic with your child, we can help you feel “secure and okay” as well… Join the Ninja Parenting Community today, and get the same kind of support that this member got when something unexpected and frightening happened in her life.
I was able to give her help that regular We Turned Out Okay listeners can only dream of… Including a supportive response very soon after the accident, plus a video in which I shared lots more about helping kids through bad stuff during a live, exclusive members-only call just a day or two later.
Need this same intensive, supportive level of help?
Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!
I love this video, all about today’s guest, Raeshal Solomon of my little banker.com:
BOOK GIVEAWAY: today’s guest, Raeshal Solomon of mylittlebanker.com, has graciously offered to give one lucky listener a set of her books that teach financial literacy to little kids!
Listen to today’s episode to find out how to enter the giveaway : )
Raeshal Solomon comes by her knowledge of how to get out of debt honestly – she’s worked hard to rid herself of nearly all her $400,000 debt, while raising two young boys AND living with sickle-cell anemia.
She tells us exactly how she accomplished this incredible feat during today’s episode!
Raeshal also shares great ideas for you, if you’re trying to work your way out of financial debt, and talks about why she got started writing books on financial literacy for young children.
I know you’re going to get so much out of today’s episode. Please share with a friend who needs a boost of inspiration today!