When your child is frightened

Happy Wednesday!

As we move into October it’s common for kids to be fearful about lawn ornamentation and creepy/ghostly products for sale in many stores.

But they can also be frightened any time of year, by factors such as:
– The dark, which changes the appearance of common everyday things like a closet or under the bed
– Taking a fall or colliding with another object or person
– Frightening noises, such as smoke detectors or fire alarms

(To that list I would add something that you may not have thought of:
Kids become frightened when a trusted adults acts unpredictably.
That is going to be the subject of next week’s newsletter, so stay tuned.)

For today we’re focusing on how to help kids feel better when they are frightened (by forces other than the behavior of their trusted adults.)

Often, we can be most helpful by doing the opposite of what is top-of-mind. Continue reading “When your child is frightened”

Feeling good about parenting when the going is really tough

Happy Wednesday!

This is the third in a 3-part series on what to do when you feel like you just can’t win as a parent.
Click here for part one, all about getting perspective on your child’s behavior, so you do not feel overwhelmed.
Click here for part two, about how to create conditions that will get good behavior from your kiddo.
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Recently a mom in my private coaching community posted in our forums: “I feel like I just can’t win.”
In the previous week her child:
– Ran from his childcare classroom multiple times
– Slapped a teacher
– Spit, kicked, and hit multiple people, multiple times, including the mom herself
– Shouted, screamed, and melted down, mostly in public
– Bit a child at the playground

In short, her three-year-old had a tough week. As a result, so did she.

There was real despair in her writing, and my heart just went out to her.

I created a video for her, outlining 3 critical tools to get out of that negative space, despite all of the negativity.

And today I want to discuss that 3rd critical tool:

Finding the Positive, Even – Especially – On the Toughest Days

If you reread the multiple bad things that happened to this mom, in a very short period of time, it’s tempting to dwell on those negatives.
You can bet I have, in my own versions of that day.

But tucked in among those negatives, there were also positives.
In our forums she writes of:
– Snuggling up and reading with her son
– Sharing enjoyable meals and playground visits and trips with him
– The many times when childcare pickup is a pleasant experience
– The big questions her son asks
– The kindness he shows, both to her and others
– Her son’s wonderful hugs
– His generous and joyful nature

When we are in the worst of our children’s bad behavior, it’s tough to see those positives.

But they’re there.

On the toughest days, remembering the positives can be the most valuable thing you do.

What positives are you seeing in your child’s behavior today?
Accentuate the positive by creating a list, even just in your head. Or write to me and share your list (I would love that : )

Want to see this tool, along with the first and second? You can view the video I made for my coaching client by going to:

Parenting Tools


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Keep reading below for What’s up on the podcast/In the Facebook group…

Wishing you a wonderful parenting week!
Cheers!
Karen

What’s up on the podcast this week:
We’re asking the question “Is it ADHD or normal behavior?”
In this episode I offer 5 ways to deal with your child’s impulsivity, aggression, lack of focus, and other frustrating (hint: perfectly normal) behavior.
Click the link below to listen:
https://weturnedoutokay.com/299

What’s up in the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group this week:
We talk about magic pills and quick fixes, and whether they are really a thing, during the weekly Magic Words for Parents.
Click here to join the Facebook group!

PS – If you’re enjoying this Weekly Parenting Newsletter, click here so you can sign up to receive it in your inbox, or forward it to a friend who needs a parenting boost today.

Create the best conditions possible to bring out your child’s good behavior

Happy Wednesday!

This is the second in a 3-part series on what to do when you feel like you just can’t win as a parent.
Click here for part one, all about getting perspective on your child’s behavior, so you do not feel overwhelmed.
——————————————————————————–
Recently a mom in my private coaching community posted about the tough time she was having, dealing with her 3-year-old’s behavior. In the previous week her child:
– Ran from his childcare classroom multiple times
– Slapped a teacher
– Spit, kicked, and hit multiple people, multiple times, including the mom herself
– Shouted, screamed, and melted down, mostly in public
– Bit a child at the playground

I created a video for her, outlining 3 critical tools to get out of that negative space, despite all of the negativity.

Last week, in this newsletter, I shared the first tool to getting out of that negative space.

Today I want to share the the second tool:

The knowledge of WHY kids push our buttons.

Paradoxically, kids push our buttons so they can feel safe.

I know how weird that sounds. Continue reading “Create the best conditions possible to bring out your child’s good behavior”

When you feel like you just can’t win at parenting

Happy Wednesday!

Reminder: Through 9/30/19 I’m offering the Friends and Family membership rate to join the private coaching community I host online for parents! I would love to work with you closely, helping you enjoy this parenting journey.

Read more about this below.

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Recently a mom in my private coaching community posted in our forums: “I feel like I just can’t win.”

Maybe you know how she feels. In the previous week her child:
– Ran from his childcare classroom multiple times
– Slapped a teacher
– Spit, kicked, and hit multiple people, multiple times, including the mom herself
– Shouted, screamed, and melted down, mostly in public
– Bit a child at the playground

In short, her three-year-old had a tough week. As a result, so did she.

There was real despair in her writing, and my heart just went out to her. Continue reading “When you feel like you just can’t win at parenting”

So big, we don’t even see it

Happy Wednesday!

FYI: Join the Ninja Parenting Community! Through 9/30/19 I’m offering the Friends and Family membership rate to join in this private coaching community I host online for parents. Read more about this below.

Today I am sharing about an experience I had recently, of failing to see something huge and important that was literally right in front of me.
While this may seem like a peculiar subject for a newsletter about parenting, I hope you read and stay with me till the end!
It comes back to parenting, I promise <3

When I arrive at my town’s ballfields, to visit the mobile exhibit of the Vietnam War Memorial, I see several things: Continue reading “So big, we don’t even see it”

What to do during, and after, your child’s next temper tantrum

Happy Wednesday!

FYI: I totally screwed something up, and now that it is fixed, I want to offer you the Friends and Family Membership Rate to join in the private coaching community I host online for parents. Read more about this below.

Also: Links to each part of the in-depth, 4-part newsletter series I recently did can be found just below my signature. (Feedback was that many of you found that series super helpful and so I want it to be available all through the start to this school year!)

Today, I want to share about a really cool thing one of my private coaching clients did recently.
It helped her:
– Make the most of her time at home (she’s a busy single mom)
– Enjoy family time with her 3-year-old son.

Win-win!

Mama Llama, who keeps her identity anonymous in the community, posted in recently about an extremely difficult daycare pickup and evening:
“[On the way home] he yelled and kicked my seat. He flipped out getting out of the car at home grabbing things out of my hands and screaming.”
That wasn’t all:
“He thrashed around the lobby stomping and hitting the mailboxes. We finally made our way upstairs where he continued to scream and kick and hit.”
And even THAT wasn’t all:
“He lost [the privilege of playing with a toy] for the night and the hitting and kicking got worse and he started throwing toys at me.”

Continue reading “What to do during, and after, your child’s next temper tantrum”

Overcoming difficult circumstances, as a parent and as a person

Happy Wednesday!

FYI: Links to each part of the in-depth, 4-part newsletter series I recently did can be found just below my signature. (Feedback was that many of you found that series super helpful and so I want it to be available all through the start to this school year!)

Today, I want to talk about what constitutes difficult circumstances, and what we can do about it when we encounter such circumstances ourselves.

The dirty little secret of difficult circumstances is:

Everybody’s got ’em.

We all have circumstances that attempt to drag us down:

  • Toxic people in our lives
  • The refrigerator or car crapping out on us
  • The funny-looking mole on our shoulder
  • Our kids wanting us and NOBODY else (or vice versa).

We can feel strangled, or buried alive.

Last week, when Jessica Lahey and KJ Dell’Antonia brought me onto their show in episode 174 of #AmWriting with Jess and KJ, I shared that one particular difficult circumstance I live with can make me feel as if I’m “drowning.” Continue reading “Overcoming difficult circumstances, as a parent and as a person”

4 Key factors in your young child’s education (Book excerpt!)

Happy Wednesday!

FYI: Links to each part of the in-depth, 4-part newsletter series I recently did, on starting the school year off right, can be found just below my signature. (Feedback was that many of you found that series super helpful and so I want it to be available all through the start to this school year!)

 

What matters most in a young child’s learning: Book Excerpt

My latest parenting book, Educating Happy Kids: 9 Ways to Help Your Children Learn What They Need to Know is out this week!
I’m celebrating by sharing the following, an excerpt from the book, which I hope will be super helpful to you in starting the school year off right.
The whole e-book is available exclusively at weturnedoutokay.com/books, at a substantial savings (as I finish up things like a cover, the paperback and audio versions, and listing it in Amazon and other places).

This chapter covers what I view as the foremost important factors in a young child’s learning.

Thank you for reading and I hope you find it helpful! Continue reading “4 Key factors in your young child’s education (Book excerpt!)”

A free tool you can use to streamline your family’s weekly schedule

Happy Wednesday!

This is the 4th part in our in-depth, 4-part series, on how to start the school year off right.
(Click here for part one, about the first thing you can do when confronting any challenge;

click here for part two, where I share my method for cutting through overwhelm.
And click here for part three, a case study of one mom who made back-to-school weekday mornings work – even when dealing with her child’s NIGHTLY bedwetting.)

Are you finding it difficult to juggle all the new priorities in your life at this time of year?

I know that getting dinner on the table, sure everybody’s laundry is clean for the next day, as well as trying to maintain your own sanity (and/or complete any task) can all feel like an insurmountable heap.

When we think of all the little tasks and routines suddenly cropping up, it can be hard to separate out any one thing and feel like we can accomplish it.

As a visual person, I really like to see all those things, at-a-glance.

I like to have it all in one place, to know where we are all supposed to be, when, and moreover, what are we going to eat for dinner tonight?

So, I made a weekly scheduling tool that you can print out and put on your fridge!
That’s what I do, every single week. It’s made such a difference in planning, which in turn has made a huge difference in my outlook and enjoyment of family time. Continue reading “A free tool you can use to streamline your family’s weekly schedule”

This mom did not let even nightly bedwettings derail weekday mornings.

Happy Wednesday!

This is the third in an in-depth, 4-part series, on how to start the school year off right.
(Click here for part one, about the first thing you can do when confronting any challenge, and click here for part two, where I share my method for cutting through overwhelm.)

One mom of two in the parent coaching community that I run, whom I’ll call Lindsay, REALLY struggled with the stress of getting small kids up and out the door in time for daycare and school.

Here is something she wrote just as she began working on this:
“Usually if our youngest wets the bed (he’s newly potty trained) it can derail the morning because we have to strip the bed, start the wash and give him a bath.
In the hustle and bustle my breakfast is usually the one that gets overlooked! That happened today. I typically don’t even notice until I get to work and am hungry.”

Maybe your struggles are different, but I bet you can sympathize with Lindsay.
I sure can.

She wondered, what could she do to fix this? Continue reading “This mom did not let even nightly bedwettings derail weekday mornings.”