Blog Post

When you feel like you just can’t win at parenting

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on in Blog Post, complicated and difficult family stuff

Happy Wednesday!

Reminder: Through 9/30/19 I’m offering the Friends and Family membership rate to join the private coaching community I host online for parents! I would love to work with you closely, helping you enjoy this parenting journey.

Read more about this below.

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Recently a mom in my private coaching community posted in our forums: “I feel like I just can’t win.”

Maybe you know how she feels. In the previous week her child:
– Ran from his childcare classroom multiple times
– Slapped a teacher
– Spit, kicked, and hit multiple people, multiple times, including the mom herself
– Shouted, screamed, and melted down, mostly in public
– Bit a child at the playground

In short, her three-year-old had a tough week. As a result, so did she.

There was real despair in her writing, and my heart just went out to her. Continue reading “When you feel like you just can’t win at parenting” →

So big, we don’t even see it

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on in Blog Post, Happy parent

Happy Wednesday!

FYI: Join the Ninja Parenting Community! Through 9/30/19 I’m offering the Friends and Family membership rate to join in this private coaching community I host online for parents. Read more about this below.

Today I am sharing about an experience I had recently, of failing to see something huge and important that was literally right in front of me.
While this may seem like a peculiar subject for a newsletter about parenting, I hope you read and stay with me till the end!
It comes back to parenting, I promise <3

When I arrive at my town’s ballfields, to visit the mobile exhibit of the Vietnam War Memorial, I see several things: Continue reading “So big, we don’t even see it” →

What to do during, and after, your child’s next temper tantrum

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on in Bad Behavior, Blog Post

Happy Wednesday!

FYI: I totally screwed something up, and now that it is fixed, I want to offer you the Friends and Family Membership Rate to join in the private coaching community I host online for parents. Read more about this below.

Also: Links to each part of the in-depth, 4-part newsletter series I recently did can be found just below my signature. (Feedback was that many of you found that series super helpful and so I want it to be available all through the start to this school year!)

Today, I want to share about a really cool thing one of my private coaching clients did recently.
It helped her:
– Make the most of her time at home (she’s a busy single mom)
– Enjoy family time with her 3-year-old son.

Win-win!

Mama Llama, who keeps her identity anonymous in the community, posted in recently about an extremely difficult daycare pickup and evening:
“[On the way home] he yelled and kicked my seat. He flipped out getting out of the car at home grabbing things out of my hands and screaming.”
That wasn’t all:
“He thrashed around the lobby stomping and hitting the mailboxes. We finally made our way upstairs where he continued to scream and kick and hit.”
And even THAT wasn’t all:
“He lost [the privilege of playing with a toy] for the night and the hitting and kicking got worse and he started throwing toys at me.”

Continue reading “What to do during, and after, your child’s next temper tantrum” →

Overcoming difficult circumstances, as a parent and as a person

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on in Blog Post, Happy parent

Happy Wednesday!

FYI: Links to each part of the in-depth, 4-part newsletter series I recently did can be found just below my signature. (Feedback was that many of you found that series super helpful and so I want it to be available all through the start to this school year!)

Today, I want to talk about what constitutes difficult circumstances, and what we can do about it when we encounter such circumstances ourselves.

The dirty little secret of difficult circumstances is:

Everybody’s got ’em.

We all have circumstances that attempt to drag us down:

  • Toxic people in our lives
  • The refrigerator or car crapping out on us
  • The funny-looking mole on our shoulder
  • Our kids wanting us and NOBODY else (or vice versa).

We can feel strangled, or buried alive.

Last week, when Jessica Lahey and KJ Dell’Antonia brought me onto their show in episode 174 of #AmWriting with Jess and KJ, I shared that one particular difficult circumstance I live with can make me feel as if I’m “drowning.” Continue reading “Overcoming difficult circumstances, as a parent and as a person” →

4 Key factors in your young child’s education (Book excerpt!)

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on in Back to school, Blog Post

Happy Wednesday!

FYI: Links to each part of the in-depth, 4-part newsletter series I recently did, on starting the school year off right, can be found just below my signature. (Feedback was that many of you found that series super helpful and so I want it to be available all through the start to this school year!)

 

What matters most in a young child’s learning: Book Excerpt

My latest parenting book, Educating Happy Kids: 9 Ways to Help Your Children Learn What They Need to Know is out this week!
I’m celebrating by sharing the following, an excerpt from the book, which I hope will be super helpful to you in starting the school year off right.
The whole e-book is available exclusively at weturnedoutokay.com/books, at a substantial savings (as I finish up things like a cover, the paperback and audio versions, and listing it in Amazon and other places).

This chapter covers what I view as the foremost important factors in a young child’s learning.

Thank you for reading and I hope you find it helpful! Continue reading “4 Key factors in your young child’s education (Book excerpt!)” →

A free tool you can use to streamline your family’s weekly schedule

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on in Back to school, Blog Post

Happy Wednesday!

This is the 4th part in our in-depth, 4-part series, on how to start the school year off right.
(Click here for part one, about the first thing you can do when confronting any challenge;

click here for part two, where I share my method for cutting through overwhelm.
And click here for part three, a case study of one mom who made back-to-school weekday mornings work – even when dealing with her child’s NIGHTLY bedwetting.)

Are you finding it difficult to juggle all the new priorities in your life at this time of year?

I know that getting dinner on the table, sure everybody’s laundry is clean for the next day, as well as trying to maintain your own sanity (and/or complete any task) can all feel like an insurmountable heap.

When we think of all the little tasks and routines suddenly cropping up, it can be hard to separate out any one thing and feel like we can accomplish it.

As a visual person, I really like to see all those things, at-a-glance.

I like to have it all in one place, to know where we are all supposed to be, when, and moreover, what are we going to eat for dinner tonight?

So, I made a weekly scheduling tool that you can print out and put on your fridge!
That’s what I do, every single week. It’s made such a difference in planning, which in turn has made a huge difference in my outlook and enjoyment of family time. Continue reading “A free tool you can use to streamline your family’s weekly schedule” →

This mom did not let even nightly bedwettings derail weekday mornings.

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on in Back to school, Blog Post

Happy Wednesday!

This is the third in an in-depth, 4-part series, on how to start the school year off right.
(Click here for part one, about the first thing you can do when confronting any challenge, and click here for part two, where I share my method for cutting through overwhelm.)

One mom of two in the parent coaching community that I run, whom I’ll call Lindsay, REALLY struggled with the stress of getting small kids up and out the door in time for daycare and school.

Here is something she wrote just as she began working on this:
“Usually if our youngest wets the bed (he’s newly potty trained) it can derail the morning because we have to strip the bed, start the wash and give him a bath.
In the hustle and bustle my breakfast is usually the one that gets overlooked! That happened today. I typically don’t even notice until I get to work and am hungry.”

Maybe your struggles are different, but I bet you can sympathize with Lindsay.
I sure can.

She wondered, what could she do to fix this? Continue reading “This mom did not let even nightly bedwettings derail weekday mornings.” →

Handling overwhelm at crazy times of the year (like this one)

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on in Back to school, Blog Post

Happy Wednesday!

This is the second in an in-depth, 4-part series, on how to start the school year off right.
 (Click here for part one, about the first thing you can do when confronting any challenge.)

When I talk with parents about the starting of the school year, they often share their frustrations with just how CRAZY this time of year can feel.

There are so many little boxes to check:

  • The list of items your child’s teacher needs for the classroom
  • The schedule-changes that must be figured out
  • The new routines that kids can sometimes have a hard time getting into
  • The struggle of wrapping our brains around not just all these new challenges, but how we feel about our children, our worries for them, how quickly time is slipping away… How they’re changing right before our very eyes.
Lots to think about, and (if we allow it) lots to feel overwhelmed by.

In my daily life, when I am Mom-Karen (as opposed to Podcast-Karen, who understands that everything is going to be just fine and has solid ideas for handling every challenge), I often feel swamped by anxiety and overwhelm.Today I want to share with you the method I have found to beat the overwhelm and actually accomplish what I need and want to. Continue reading “Handling overwhelm at crazy times of the year (like this one)” →

Remaining calm, even when they are throwing dirt at each other

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on in Blog Post, complicated and difficult family stuff

Happy Wednesday!

Picture this: your children are facing up across the topsoil mound in your backyard. And they’re throwing dirt at each other.

You have no idea how it started, or who started it. All you know is, you sent them outside to play and here they are, hurling dirt.

Perhaps your first instinct is to lose it, and fly off the handle.
To shout, to send them to their rooms, maybe even to spank them.
It would feel so good… To show them who’s boss, and to make them listen to your authority.

And, maybe that would work in the moment. Maybe you’d end up with more obedient kids – in the short-term, at least.

But when a coaching client of mine experienced this exact scenario, she did something different.
She did something that, together, we had been working on:

A method to keep calm, and help her 4-and 7-year-old girls resolve the conflict that started the dirt-throwing. Continue reading “Remaining calm, even when they are throwing dirt at each other” →

Life Moves Pretty Fast

Posted by Karen Lock Kolp on in Blog Post, Successful Fulfilled Kids

Happy Wednesday!

Training update:

My first draft is squeakingly close to being ready to send off to my editor, so much so that I plan to have it in her hands this afternoon! While I had hoped for June 1, June 5 feels pretty great… I still took it from rough draft to first draft in just under two weeks!

Thank you so much. Because without you, and your messages, and your goodwill, and your excitement about this forthcoming book, I would be nowhere near as far along with this draft as I am.

Ninja Parenting Community members, I am loading up some advanced chapters to go into our community forums! Click here to check it out (just be sure to log in first : )
Not an NPC member? Click here to join.

They Won’t Always be Little
This is a busy, crazy week for us here in the Kolp household, and a week of celebration: our oldest son is graduating!

Ben and I could not be prouder.

In the words of one teacher at his alternative high school: “Max has launched!”

Among other things Max:

– Learned an entire high school career’s worth of mathematics this past spring semester, during his last year of pre-college education

– Asserted his need for freedom, and diligently worked towards getting that freedom in an appropriate and unselfish way

– Upheld the responsibilities he has in our family, while grasping that freedom, remaining gainfully employed, and spending time with his peers

– Continues to maintain his sense of humor and positive outlook, even when the going gets tough

When Max was small, his dad and I could never have conceived the goals he would have for himself, and the ways that he would work towards achieving those goals.

Likely, if you’re reading this you have small children. And it can be so difficult to see the future, to conceive of and envision a time when your child will assert their independence.

But that time will come. Continue reading “Life Moves Pretty Fast” →