Something to try for when it all feels like too much

Happy Wednesday!

Training update:
We’ve hit our first milestone with Educating Happy Children: 9 Ways to Help Kids Learn What They Need to Know! I was able to finish the first draft in just two weeks!

I know with certainty that the first draft of this book is done – and it is as good a draft as it could possibly be – because of you. The support, the emails, the questions and heartfelt thoughts that you have sent over these weeks mean more to me than I can say.

Plus, I am now placing advanced chapters into the Ninja Parenting Community! If you are an NPC member click here to check them out.

If you are not an NPC member yet, click here to learn more about working closely with me.
Members will tell you that, in addition to advanced chapters of my parenting books, it’s life-changing!

What’s next? Creating the cover – I hope you’ll be involved in that, helping me choose the best cover for this book.

My goal is to have cover choices for you to vote on in the next Wednesday newsletter, so stay tuned for that!

Here is what you can try when it all feels like too much:
My husband Ben and I went on our usual weekend coffee-and-a-walk date this past weekend. This walk is something we really look forward to all week, definitely one of the highlights of our routine!

When Ben suggested, about 18 months ago, that we spend time together each week, I happily agreed. But I had no idea that there’d be so many benefits to reconnecting with him in this way. These include: Continue reading “Something to try for when it all feels like too much”

Get “comfortable being uncomfortable”: Speaking with authors and world travelers Emily Orton and Erik Orton! Podcast Episode 282

Heads up: keep listening after the interview, because I read out Emily Orton’s responses to questions that were asked in the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group. Her responses are awesome and I don’t want you to miss them!

Sometimes we have down moments in our lives. Times where we second-guess ourselves and our choices; times where we’re not sure what direction to go.
That was the case for Erik Orton, at a low point in his life when a project he put all his time and energy – and his family’s financial savings – into, failed.

But something incredibly beautiful was born of that time. He and his wife Emily decided to change things up completely and go on an adventure!

Their memoir, Seven at Sea, describes the year they spent in a sailboat, traveling the world with their 5 children, the youngest of whom has Down syndrome.

If you’re stuck, if you’re feeling bogged down or not sure which way to turn, I hope this conversation helps you find a way.

Plus in Parenting News: A compelling New York Times article by Professor Emily Oster, author of the forthcoming book Cribsheet, about how parents aren’t necessarily paying attention to the child-rearing stuff that matters most.

Join us!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/282 for:

  • A cheat sheet on the highlights of our conversation, which goes far, far beyond their year on the beloved sailboat Fezywig
  • Links that come up in today’s conversation
  • The video of the week: “How to get out of a parenting rut”

And thank you so much for listening!

Temper Tantrums, Potty Training, and Picky Eaters:

Today I share about three helpful free guides I offer.
While the podcast is long-form – your opportunity to look into the mind of a child development expert – the free guides are super quick.

You can watch the video, read the checklist, and immediately get the help you need : )

  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to Handle Every Temper Tantrum
  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to Successfully Potty Train Your Child
  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to Handle Your Picky Eater
  • Want to receive valuable ideas and tips on parenting, without either free guide above? Click here for my weekly parenting newsletter!

 

Continue reading “Get “comfortable being uncomfortable”: Speaking with authors and world travelers Emily Orton and Erik Orton! Podcast Episode 282″

Be the brains

Happy Wednesday!

I want to share a goal of mine. I’m in training! I’m drafting a new parenting book and today I’m asking you to keep me on track.

And also I’m excited because I think this story that I share today could also be helpful for you, even if your struggles are different than mine.

First: I’m in training!

Longtime listeners to the podcast, and readers of this letter, might know that I have a chronic illness. A tendon disorder, that keeps me from doing a lot of things that you probably consider perfectly normal and everyday events, such as chopping vegetables, or folding laundry.

But there would be no podcast, there would be no We Turned Out Okay at all, without the tendon disorder. And that is because of something a friend said to me when I was at my worst, with just 5% use practical use of my hands. I had truly hit rock bottom. I felt like such a burden, and so useless, to those who were responsible for taking care of me; meaning my husband, Ben, and our two boys.

It should have been the other way around, I should have been taking care of them! And instead I could hardly wash my own hair or pour my own coffee.

When a friend suggested that this didn’t have to only be negative, that instead it could be positive, it opened up a whole new avenue. She said “okay, you can’t do all the normal parenting things. Or all the normal housekeeping things. So what CAN you do?” Continue reading “Be the brains”

Lessons from our digital reset

Years ago, I went to see a movie in an actual theater, on a big screen. They had this really clever ad in the lead-up to the movie where you saw all this action and excitement… and then slowly the action and excitement began shrinking.

It shrank and shrank away until it all took place in a tiny box in the middle of the screen.

And then above it appeared gigantic words, and I’m paraphrasing here, but basically they said: “don’t let your entertainment shrink down to this.”

That’s one of the last movies I ever saw in the theater.
Clearly, their plea of “keep coming to the movies!” didn’t work well on me.

For years our lives have been slowly, insidiously being taken over by tiny screens.

Maybe you have found the same thing in your life.

Over three or four years I’ve noticed:

  •  A sense of panic if I don’t have my phone on or near me
  • Despite my best efforts, trouble concentrating on the people who are right in front of me because the screen in my hand beckons
  • Hand, wrist, and forearm pain, seriously irritated by swiping, tapping, and pinching screens

Today I want to share the story of what Ben and I are doing, in our home, to reclaim the big action and excitement. I hope it helps you see a path towards taking control of screen time in your home!

Continue reading “Lessons from our digital reset”

Try Again Tomorrow

I’m re-reading one of my favorite books, Mansfield Park by Jane Austen, and one part particularly struck me in my reading last night.
It’s when main character Fanny’s grave, serious uncle agrees to allow Fanny to do something he would rather she did not: get up early after being up very late (so she can say goodbye to her brother, William, who leaves in the morning).
After much discussion Fanny’s uncle, Sir Thomas, fondly says “well, well.” And Fanny knows she has been given permission to be present at this farewell breakfast.

It got me thinking on the ways that we give, or withhold, our permission.

Oftentimes it’s a whiny, wheedling, “pleeeeease” that gets our attention, and so we give in reluctantly.
Continue reading “Try Again Tomorrow”

How to get quality childcare: A masterclass | Podcast Episode 272

If you’ve ever struggled with less-than-quality childcare, whether in daycare or in a school setting, today’s episode is for you!

Because you are not alone. I’ve been working closely with people whose childcare providers do inscrutable things – one mom tells of an “aggression journal” her 3-year-old son’s childcare teachers are keeping about him! – and another who found her most recent parent-teacher conference frightening and overwhelming.

Which is why today I’m bringing you, in audio format, the class I taught just last week, all about “How to get quality childcare.”

During this master class I share:
1) The three most important keys to finding the best childcare
2) One crucial factor that can hold you back from getting quality childcare
3) The questions you should – and should not – ask potential and current childcare providers
4) An Open House Tour of the private coaching community where quality childcare has been our in-depth focus for the last 3 months
5) A Case Study of one class attendee, Amanda, and her 3-year-old son’s struggles with nap time at daycare

I hope it’s super helpful as your child moves out into the wider world, in daycare, preschool, or school!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/272 for:

And thank you so much for listening!

Temper Tantrums and Potty Training:

Today I share about two helpful free guides I offer.
While the podcast is long-form – your opportunity to look into the mind of a child development expert – the free guides are super quick.

You can watch the video, read the checklist, and immediately handle the temper tantrums or get started with potty training (depending on which guide you choose : )

  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to handle every temper tantrum
  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to successfully potty train your child
  • Want to receive valuable ideas and tips on parenting, without either free guide above? Click here for my weekly parenting newsletter!

Continue reading “How to get quality childcare: A masterclass | Podcast Episode 272”

3 Ways for you to be less stressed | Podcast episode 253

If only every day could be about pajamas and Lego dinosaurs.

Today I share how the stress I was under 7 1/2 years ago resulted in a lifelong tendon disorder.

I was so busy running our household and putting everyone else first, I did not pay attention to my health.

I really want you to learn from my mistake.

Today’s show focuses on how our stress isn’t just bad for us. It’s bad for our kids, too.

We also dig into the stresses of “intensive” parenting (a.k.a. helicopter or lawnmower parenting). And as you’ll see, that form of parenting stresses everybody out.

(Know what else stresses everybody out? Potty training, and temper tantrums… During today’s break I share about a free guide I offer for each of these stressors:

  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to handle every temper tantrum
  • Click here for the FREE video and checklist to successfully potty train your child)

In this episode I offer three ways for you to be less stressed, not just now as we get into the holiday season (and everyone is pretty well at the end of their rope) but about how you can be less stressed over the long haul.

It’s Part 3 of the “how to raise successful, fulfilled, happy people” series, and I hope it helps you enjoy the time you spend with your littles!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/253 for:

  • A cheat sheet on the 3 ways you can alleviate stress
  • Links to the articles I quote from today
  • What’s up in the We Turned Out Okay universe, including tons of free resources : )
  • The video of the week: “Good behavior at meals, good behavior at the park”

And thank you so much for listening! Continue reading “3 Ways for you to be less stressed | Podcast episode 253”

Combating Fear: A Conversation with Mom, Quilter, and Fighter for Justice Cathleen Dinsmore | Podcast Episode 249

Here is Cathleen’s beautiful quilt.

Do you sometimes feel like you are raising your family in mighty frightening times?
So do I.

That’s why, when I learned about the thing of beauty this week’s guest created to combat fear, I knew I had to bring her on the show!

Mom, quilter, poet, and personal friend Cathleen Dinsmore recently created an amazing quilt-and-poem combination. The quilt is breathtaking – and, combined with the poem, fosters conversation around fear, and hope, and justice.

At weturnedoutokay.com you can view Cathleen’s amazing quilt, read the beautiful poem,

And here is the poem Cathleen wrote; it accompanies the quilt and brings this whole idea into sharper focus (at least for me).

and prepare to be inspired by the incredible impact one person can have on alleviating fear and inspiring hope.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/249 for:

  • A look at Cathleen’s racial justice quilt, her accompanying poem, and TONS of links that come up in today’s conversation
  • What’s up in the We Turned Out Okay universe, including tons of free resources : )
  • The video of the week: “Helping when Halloween scares your young child”

And thank you so much for listening! Continue reading “Combating Fear: A Conversation with Mom, Quilter, and Fighter for Justice Cathleen Dinsmore | Podcast Episode 249”

What Gets Us Through Tough Times: Talking with Diane Hessan, Mom, Entrepreneur, and Columnist | Podcast Episode 246

Diane Hessan always knew she wanted to work full-time, while raising her daughters. Today she shares what that was really like, and how her life’s work prepared her to fulfill a super important role in today’s frightening and demoralizing political climate.

Nowadays, Diane speaks daily with 500 American voters. These are people from every area of the country, every walk of life, every creed, every color. And as she connects with them Diane is learning important lessons that she takes into her own life.

Listen to our conversation today to discover what these lessons are, so you can enjoy your life, and be helpful to those around you at the same time!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/246 for:

  • Links that come up in our conversation today
  • What’s up in the We Turned Out Okay universe, including tons of free resources : )
  • The 3 most important things to remember from today’s conversation

And thank you so much for listening! Continue reading “What Gets Us Through Tough Times: Talking with Diane Hessan, Mom, Entrepreneur, and Columnist | Podcast Episode 246”

How do we handle big parental pressures? Talking with KJ Dell’Antonia, author of the forthcoming book How to be a Happier Parent (podcast episode 237)

Talking with returning champion KJ Dell’Antonia

is always a pleasure, and this episode is maybe my favorite conversation with her yet!

KJ has got a book coming out later this month, and if you’re feeling the pressures of parenting, you are going to LOVE her book, How to be a Happier Parent.

Like so many of my favorite conversations, this one zooms around and goes in directions that I didn’t envision when we sat down to talk.

And every direction offers something valuable for you to take into your parenting life.

We talk about:

  • Why parents need something of their own – something separate from your kids – to enjoy
  • How (and why) after-school activities and sports got so crazy
  • KJ’s two key steps to handling the big, bad pressures on us parents.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/237 for the TONS of links that come up in our conversation, and also to read more about KJ’s 2-step process to deal with those pressures…

And thank you so much for listening!

[Please note: Magic Words for Parents, our series of quick phrases to help you say the right thing even in the toughest parenting moments, is on vacation until September 10… Click here for the playlist of past Magic Words in YouTube, and click here for the EXTRA Magic Words videos … get exclusive access by becoming a We Turned Out Okay Patreon patron.] Continue reading “How do we handle big parental pressures? Talking with KJ Dell’Antonia, author of the forthcoming book How to be a Happier Parent (podcast episode 237)”