One thing I cannot live without

Hi Friends,

I’ve been working on the We Turned Out Okay Playbook now for many months, and Issue 1/August 2020 is finally out! [Enrollment for Issue 1 wraps up on 8/1/2020… Enrollment for Issue 2/September 2020 begins mid-August : ]
Go to weturnedoutokay.com/playbook for more information and to subscribe…
Also, there is a music component to the Playbook that I describe more in depth in today’s newsletter. So read on for that : )
______________________________________

This is the latest in my summer-long series, taking you on my journey of recovering from overwhelm and burnout and learning ways to sustainably keep going. Click here for the first installment, “Feeling guilty,” and click here for last week’s update, “What is in our control?”

This week, music is on my mind. Continue reading “One thing I cannot live without”

I didn’t think it was going to work, but it did

Hello! This is the latest in my summer-long series, taking you on my journey of recovering from overwhelm and burnout and learning ways to sustainably keep going. Click here for the first installment, “Feeling guilty.”

First of all, how are you today?
I hope you are hanging in there!
I’m still having good success with the subject of last week’s newsletter, feeling better now that I’m not “obsessively checking” the Internet.
I even noticed that my tendon disorder is better – my arms and hands bother me less – when I am not scrolling, pinching, tapping, or swiping.
(Click here to read last week’s newsletter, “The first thing that’s helping me overcome burnout and overwhelm”)

However, I do have a sore knee.
This started with a strengthening workout – my first in about three weeks. I should have remembered that I can’t jump in at full strength, after not working out for three weeks. But I didn’t remember.

I was midway into a hamstring exercise, when suddenly my knee was screaming. Continue reading “I didn’t think it was going to work, but it did”

333: How are you holding up? 3 ways to keep going

I chose this picture for today’s episode because, for some reason, the idea that butterflies have no idea that we’re in a pandemic is helping me feel better about the whole thing

“I feel like I’m completely alone trying to meet completely insatiable needs for days on end.”
That is what one of the moms in my online coaching practice, the Ninja Parenting Community, wrote early last week.

She’s not the only one. Not by a longshot!
In this week’s episode I share my best ideas for getting through a crisis.
Even a slow-motion, simultaneously-terrifying-and-tedious, pandemic-induced crisis like the one we’re in now in June 2020.

If your energy, patience, and/or well-being is flagging, first of all let me offer HUGE hugs!
Listen to this episode for some practical things you can do to get through the toughest of these tough times.

Join us!

Links that come up today:

Parenting Masterclass
For the all-summer-long live Masterclass series, “Parenting in Place,” which features lots of WTOO beloved guests and friends, like Audrey Monke, Jessica Lahey, and Devorah Heitner, click here! (I’m signed up for it, and I hope you’ll sign up too!)

Continue reading “333: How are you holding up? 3 ways to keep going”

320: Kids and tech: what you need to know

Screens are here to stay – which is awesome on the one hand, and completely frightening on the other.
Especially when it comes to little kids.
It’s so hard to know:
– what is the right amount of screen time
– what is damaging or detrimental
– how to come up with guidelines about this in the first place
– how to implement those guidelines in the second

We discuss all of this today – in fact, we are talking kids and tech all month!

Join us as we kick off with a show about the basics:
Good guidelines to keep in mind with kids and technology, and also how you can implement those guidelines.
Click play to dive in!

Here’s a cheat sheet for this episode:

The guidelines –
1. We all need boredom in our lives.
Having digital (or nondigital, for that matter) distractions for every moment when we might feel bored creates people who do not know how to amuse themselves.
It even creates people who don’t know themselves.
So while it might not feel great, making sure that kids have a chance to be bored and need to figure out how to amuse themselves is super important.

2. Less is more.
The more time digital devices spend turned over and put away on a high shelf, the better.

3. Don’t let tech interfere with human connection and bonding.

How to implement the guidelines –
1. Pick your time with care.
2. Put the tech away, for lots of every day.
3. Always, ALWAYS be sure to watch YouTube along with your kids.
As kids and media specialist Devorah Heitner says, “there is no safe way for young children to watch YouTube alone.”
4. Mind your own tech use as well.

Here are the links that come up in today’s episode:
The newsletter I did about YouTube, the most dangerous place on the Internet.
(And here is where you can sign up to get future newsletters delivered right into your inbox : )

Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, a great PBS show

Anti-bullying expert Brooks Gibbs invites kids to try and bully him

https://weturnedoutokay.com/joinnpc, the place where you can work closely with me to solve your biggest parenting challenges, feel happy inside, and truly enjoy family time <3

Today’s episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, who has created a great resource to help your child handle it when the going gets tough!
Listen to today’s show to find out how to get 15% off your order, and then
Click copingskillsforkids.com/okay to check out Janine’s Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks.

 

Thanks for listening and reading!

Hangry meltdowns and self-worth

The idea for this newsletter came directly from one mom’s post in the private coaching community that I run. Right now you can try out the community for $1 for your whole first month! Click here for details.
____________________________________________

It’s so easy to blame ourselves for our children’s meltdowns.

Especially if they are of the “hangry” variety.

After all, isn’t it our responsibility to make sure that they get fed when they are hungry?
… And, doesn’t being hungry lead to temper tantrums?
… And, who is supposed to be feeding these kids anyway?

We can be so judgmental of ourselves, and that is way worse than when others are judgmental of us.

I’m starting a newsletter series today on how, in practical terms, we can handle the basics of “kids gone sideways”…
When they are in a big meltdown.
When they have potty accidents.
When they’re disrespectful.

And step one is to know that it’s absolutely not our fault when hangry meltdowns occur!

(Or any kind of meltdown, for that matter.) Continue reading “Hangry meltdowns and self-worth”

Controlling behavior, consequences, and connection with your young child | Podcast Episode 311

Continuing in this end-of-year “big idea” line of thinking, one of our beloved Ninja Parenting Community members recently asked a huge, and great question:

“How can I relax and enjoy our relationship more and not feel like I’m always on the edge of discipline mode or like I should have handled things differently [with my 3-year-old]?”

Effectively she’s asking: do I have to control my young child’s behavior all the time, or is there anything else besides that?

Today’s episode is my response.

Video, the notes I posted in NPC, and links to everything we talk about are located at weturnedoutokay.com/311

Join us!

Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter

Each Wednesday I send out a Parenting Newsletter, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos.
We’re doing a series right now on what to do when you feel like a failure, and who among us hasn’t felt like that at some point?
Useful stuff.
Click weturnedoutokay.com/weekly so it zooms right into your inbox each week!

Continue reading “Controlling behavior, consequences, and connection with your young child | Podcast Episode 311”

Talking with Biz Ellis and Theresa Thorn of One Bad Mother! | Podcast Episode 297

I am super excited to bring you a conversation with two of the most beloved people in podcasting, Biz Ellis and Theresa Thorn of One Bad Mother!

Take note: there WILL be swears, so listen away from your kiddos…

Also I totally mess up in describing a genius moment of my own! (I guess that’s a fail at a genius moment : )
So in the preshow I try to rectify that.

Biz and Theresa are such generous people that, while I’m sure they were looking at each other with extremely confused “why is this a genius moment?” looks on their faces, they pressed on and shared so much amazing support for you.
For me.
For us.
For any parent who feels shamed, unappreciated, like a monumental screwup.
Biz and Theresa want you to know: you’re doing a great job!
And I want you to know: they are right <3

Watch my video on what to do when your young child is super aggressive, and how to keep your cool when the going gets tough, by clicking
weturnedoutokay.com/parentingtools

Click here for the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group, where I took questions for Biz and Theresa – and where you can ask questions of future guests!
(It’s also where I do a Facebook live every Monday called Magic Words for Parents, sharing a quick word or phrase for you to take into your parenting week : )

Plus in Parenting News: My new favorite TED talk is called “Where joy hides and how to find it.” It’s amazing, and illustrates a factor that’s crucial to enjoying family life.

Join us!

 

Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter

Click weturnedoutokay.com/297 for lots of links from our conversation!

Today’s episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, and an incredible resource she has created to help your child handle even the biggest feelings!
Listen to today’s show to find out how to get 15% off your order, and then
Click copingskillsforkids.com/okay to check out Janine’s Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks.

Continue reading “Talking with Biz Ellis and Theresa Thorn of One Bad Mother! | Podcast Episode 297”

So big, we don’t even see it

Happy Wednesday!

FYI: Join the Ninja Parenting Community! Through 9/30/19 I’m offering the Friends and Family membership rate to join in this private coaching community I host online for parents. Read more about this below.

Today I am sharing about an experience I had recently, of failing to see something huge and important that was literally right in front of me.
While this may seem like a peculiar subject for a newsletter about parenting, I hope you read and stay with me till the end!
It comes back to parenting, I promise <3

When I arrive at my town’s ballfields, to visit the mobile exhibit of the Vietnam War Memorial, I see several things: Continue reading “So big, we don’t even see it”

Overcoming difficult circumstances, as a parent and as a person

Happy Wednesday!

FYI: Links to each part of the in-depth, 4-part newsletter series I recently did can be found just below my signature. (Feedback was that many of you found that series super helpful and so I want it to be available all through the start to this school year!)

Today, I want to talk about what constitutes difficult circumstances, and what we can do about it when we encounter such circumstances ourselves.

The dirty little secret of difficult circumstances is:

Everybody’s got ’em.

We all have circumstances that attempt to drag us down:

  • Toxic people in our lives
  • The refrigerator or car crapping out on us
  • The funny-looking mole on our shoulder
  • Our kids wanting us and NOBODY else (or vice versa).

We can feel strangled, or buried alive.

Last week, when Jessica Lahey and KJ Dell’Antonia brought me onto their show in episode 174 of #AmWriting with Jess and KJ, I shared that one particular difficult circumstance I live with can make me feel as if I’m “drowning.” Continue reading “Overcoming difficult circumstances, as a parent and as a person”

Something to try for when it all feels like too much

Happy Wednesday!

Training update:
We’ve hit our first milestone with Educating Happy Children: 9 Ways to Help Kids Learn What They Need to Know! I was able to finish the first draft in just two weeks!

I know with certainty that the first draft of this book is done – and it is as good a draft as it could possibly be – because of you. The support, the emails, the questions and heartfelt thoughts that you have sent over these weeks mean more to me than I can say.

Plus, I am now placing advanced chapters into the Ninja Parenting Community! If you are an NPC member click here to check them out.

If you are not an NPC member yet, click here to learn more about working closely with me.
Members will tell you that, in addition to advanced chapters of my parenting books, it’s life-changing!

What’s next? Creating the cover – I hope you’ll be involved in that, helping me choose the best cover for this book.

My goal is to have cover choices for you to vote on in the next Wednesday newsletter, so stay tuned for that!

Here is what you can try when it all feels like too much:
My husband Ben and I went on our usual weekend coffee-and-a-walk date this past weekend. This walk is something we really look forward to all week, definitely one of the highlights of our routine!

When Ben suggested, about 18 months ago, that we spend time together each week, I happily agreed. But I had no idea that there’d be so many benefits to reconnecting with him in this way. These include: Continue reading “Something to try for when it all feels like too much”