371: What do coaches do all day?

I’m thrilled to bring you this conversation with world-class coach Mike Harris!
Mike is currently writing a book on the value he holds most dear, freedom.
He’s a deep thinker who understands the importance of irreverence – in fact I almost called today’s episode after something Mike says in our conversation:
“There is a certain irreverence in having choice.”

He brings playful energy, a fascinating life journey that brought him where he is today, and at heart a vision for how we can all enjoy the pants off of our lives!

Here are some other mic drops you’ll hear Mike share:
“The world is skewed toward a linear expression of how things are supposed to go.”
“What if play weren’t a reward in a transaction?”
“What if we lived our entire lives in the value of freedom?”
It’s so good!

A couple notes:
1. This was originally supposed to be two episodes… I chose to keep the tape running, instead bringing you one longer one. If the ideas are flying at you fast and furious, and you need to pause and come back, I wanted to give you the choice of when and how to do that. But I bet that you, like me, will dive in and this time will go so quickly!
2. Fellow world-class coach Marilyn Dollar was planning to join us but there was a technological snafu… You’ll hear us talk about her, and while she doesn’t make it into today’s conversation she will be coming on the show. So stay tuned : )

I hope you love this conversation as much as I did!

Here are the links that come up in today’s episode:

Mike’s home-on-the-web, MikeFHarris.com

Books that have had a huge influence on Mike:
Crazy Good by Steve Chandler
Tao Te Ching

Books that have had a huge influence on me:
The Courage to Heal
The Jeeves and Wooster books by PG Woodhouse (I cite one in this conversation, The Jeeves Omnibus. But they’re all amazing)

Office Space, the movie

100 Truths You Will Learn Too Late, an amazing book

Cory Wong, the awesome song by Vulfpeck featuring guitarist Cory Wong

Episode 363, my conversation with Washington Post Parent Columnist Meghan Leahey

Episode 48, my conversation with author and poet Daniel Wolff

This episode’s home on the web: weturnedoutokay.com/371

Listen to We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOApple

Spotify… http://bit.ly/WTOOSpotify

Stitcher Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOStitcher

370: All you need is

Maybe it’s not quite true, the title of this episode.
Maybe today’s value isn’t quite as all-encompassing as that makes it sound.
But it sure comes close for me.
We started this series back in episode one with a question, and I want to wrap up in the same way.
Today’s is: If there was only one thing that we needed, what would it be?

Thank you so much for listening!
This has been an exercise in vulnerability for me, sharing these values with you. It means SO much – more than you will ever know – to have you along for this ride.
I am full of love and appreciation for you, in this moment and always <3
Karen

PS I have an invitation for you: if you haven’t already, get to know me a little better by signing up for my weekly newsletter.
It’s free, and I promise to hold your email address – and thus your heart – safely, in both my hands…
Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to sign up : )

This episode’s home-on-the-web: https://weturnedoutokay.com/370

The link to the fourth episode in this series (this is the fifth, and final)… https://weturnedoutokay.com/369

Click https://weturnedoutokay.com/364 for Janine Halloran’s most recent appearance on We Turned Out Okay! It was super good, and perhaps not coincidentally about ADHD as a superpower – that’s what Janine often tells her clients, when they get this diagnosis.

Listen to We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!

Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOApple

Spotify… http://bit.ly/WTOOSpotify

Stitcher Podcasts… Http://bit.ly/WTOOStitcher

369: Not play…

If I know you – and if you’re a longtime listener – I bet you saw the words “not play” and immediately said “D’oh! Where Karen is concerned, play is always a thing!”
But not today.
No, today’s value eats play for breakfast.

Thank you so much for listening! I am glad you’re here <3
Karen

PS I have an invitation for you: if you haven’t already, get to know me a little better by signing up for my weekly newsletter.
It’s free, and I promise to hold your email address – and thus your heart – safely, in both my hands…
Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to sign up : )

This episode’s home-on-the-web: https://weturnedoutokay.com/369

The link to the third episode in this series (this is the fourth)… https://weturnedoutokay.com/368

Click here for the Mindfulness Coach app by the American Veterans Administration. It’s AMAZING.

Listen to We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!

Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOApple

Spotify… http://bit.ly/WTOOSpotify

Stitcher Podcasts… Http://bit.ly/WTOOStitcher

368: Not exhilaration…

I’m playing my little game again today, trying to guess what you’ll think the next value in our series is… (For those of you keeping score, this is Part 3 of 5.)
Today’s is something even cooler, even bigger, and even more mind-blowing than exhilaration.
Which is saying something, because Exhilaration is my 2021 Word of the Year!

Thank you so much for listening! I am glad you’re here <3
Karen

PS I have an invitation for you: if you haven’t already, get to know me a little better by signing up for my weekly newsletter.
It’s free, and I promise to hold your email address – and thus your heart – safely, in both my hands…
Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to sign up : )

This episode’s home-on-the-web: https://weturnedoutokay.com/368

The link to the second episode in this series (this is the third)… https://weturnedoutokay.com/367

Click https://weturnedoutokay.com/360 for my conversation with the amazing Julie Lythcott-Haims, which sometimes I still listen to and feel knocked on the head all over again – in a good way.

Listen to We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!

Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOApple

Spotify… http://bit.ly/WTOOSpotify

Stitcher Podcasts… Http://bit.ly/WTOOStitcher

367: Not creativity but…

So, as I’m doing this series on the values that I hold most dear, I’m playing a little game with myself. I’m imagining you, asking yourself “can I guess today’s value?”
All I can say is, if you guess creativity, you are wrong…
But not completely wrong.

Thank you so much for listening! I am glad you’re here <3
Karen

PS I have an invitation for you: if you haven’t already, get to know me a little better by signing up for my weekly newsletter.
It’s free, and I promise to hold your email address – and thus your heart – safely, in both my hands…
Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to sign up : )

This episode’s home-on-the-web: https://weturnedoutokay.com/367

The link to the first episode in this series (this is the second)… https://weturnedoutokay.com/366

Click here for the link to the TED talk that I reference today, called The Birth of a Word.
It is awesome and you’ve got to listen to it!

Listen to We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!

Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts… http://bit.ly/WTOOApple

Spotify… http://bit.ly/WTOOSpotify

Stitcher Podcasts… Http://bit.ly/WTOOStitcher

What I’m really doing while I am knitting

For months I have been knitting a pair of socks. Last fall I wrote about my current sock dilemma (which you can read about here.)

In a nutshell the sock dilemma is this:
I can no longer get my favorite merino wool socks. Not only were they affordable, they were warm, they fit right, and they came in all sorts of lovely and fun colors and patterns.

So this winter I tried hard to conserve them. Instead of wearing them on a chilly day I found myself putting on my summertime ankle-high socks. And then I’d be cold and crotchety.

Here’s what I wrote about the sock situation last fall:

“I’m finding that I don’t want to wear the socks that I have, because I don’t want to wear them out.
So even on the coldest days I am putting on those summertime ankle-high socks, depriving myself of the warmth that the 80% merino wool, wonderful wintertime socks give.
Out of fear.” Continue reading “What I’m really doing while I am knitting”

360: “This is all a massive unplanned adventure”… Handling life’s challenges, with Julie Lythcott-Haims

Greetings! I’ve got an awesome conversation for you to listen to, with my guest Julie Lythcott-Haims! Just one thing before we get started, it’s for grown-ups and we do swear – please be sure to listen away from sensitive ears.
At the end of this episode I share: the message I take from our talk, and Julie, is one of hope. Enjoy!!

Listen to this conversation as well as the 350+ episode back catalog of We Turned Out Okay in your favorite podcatcher!
Here are a few choice spots:

Apple Podcasts

Spotify

Stitcher Podcasts

 

This is Julie! Pick up her new book here, and see what she’s all about at her website by clicking here.

Watch our conversation just below (and watch for, toward the end, where we make it look like Julie is handing her new book from where she is in California to me over in Massachusetts via zoom! I don’t know why I find this extremely silly game so much fun but I’m endlessly grateful that Julie would play along with my frivolity : )

For this episode my guest, Julie Lythcott-Haims, wanted to be sure to let you all know: “this is not a show about parenting!”
This one’s about us, the grown-ups.
Our lives, our choices, our challenges.
Julie was Dean of Freshman at Stanford University for a decade, and in that time she helped the young adults who arrived at college become true grown-ups. She also learned a lot!
In truth, Julie has learned a lot over her whole life. She is the New York Times best-selling author of How to Raise an Adult and one of my all-time favorite books ever, Real American (which chronicles her experience growing up Black and biracial in affluent circumstances – and a white community – in the United States.)
Julie’s latest book, Your Turn: How to Be an Adult shares lots of her own stories as well as the stories of many other people, their challenges, and how they handled them. It’s storytelling plus self-help with a beautiful result!
Put it this way: I’ve been an adult for a lot of years and I learned so much from this beautiful book.
I am OVER the MOON to bring you this awesome woman’s ideas on how to handle the challenges that life sends your way.
Join us for a fast-moving, fun, and educational conversation [with swears! Be sure to listen away from littles, or other sensitive ears.]
There are all kinds of links just below, including to Julie’s books, the two upcoming free virtual summits I’m speaking in… and info on how you can be invited to my birthday party, coming up on April 19th! Continue reading “360: “This is all a massive unplanned adventure”… Handling life’s challenges, with Julie Lythcott-Haims”

The pandemic impact on kids’ physical health

Kids are still kids, even in a pandemic. That is both wonderful, and terrifying. Let me help you get your child’s behavior under control so it can be wonderful and not terrifying 🙂

I am excited to share this fourth letter in my series on “repercussions the pandemic is having on children.”

First, we looked at social development (click here to read that one.)
Then we talked about emotional development (click here to read that one).
Last week we considered mental health – click here for that newsletter –
and finally today will discuss physical health, the challenges the pandemic has brought in this area, and some ideas for how you can get good physical health into your child’s life!

(BTW these free newsletters will continue, with lots of ideas on other relevant topics if you are a parent, so stay tuned!)

________________________________________
Today we’re talking about physical health.

When I think of physical health I inevitably think of the old adage “use it or lose it.”

Years ago when I first developed the tendon problems that have been with me for nearly a decade now, I began to truly understand the relationship between tendons, bones, and muscles.

One of the first things my physical therapist did was to get the inflammation out of the tendons. (For me that meant massaging out scar tissue, which was super painful, but ultimately so worth it. After eight months of being unable to walk more than a few steps due to tremendous pain, suddenly my muscles and tendons were healing. Within a very few months they were bearing the weight of my body, for the first time in nearly a year.)

I had spent all that time not using my leg muscles and as a result they atrophied.
Like, a lot.
As in, muscles on your leg – for example, shin muscles – that have a convex appearance (they round outward)… In me those muscles were concave.
I needed to push my leg to go backwards, when we began doing “water physical therapy.” My hamstring literally couldn’t pull my leg backwards!

Use it or lose it.

In the pandemic, this phrase is meaningful because it’s helped me remember a hierarchy of physical needs, for myself and my kids:
Continue reading “The pandemic impact on kids’ physical health”

357: What does your heart long for?

Greetings! In today’s episode we examine the process of getting what our heart longs for, in a coaching conversation with one of my 1-to-1 coaching clients!
As you’ll hear, Regan is a mom and an attorney, currently (along with her husband) working from home while their children are home as well, in in virtual/hybrid school.
Regan gets courageous and vulnerable with us today. She shares the dream of her heart for her kids… and what she’s doing each and every day to help make that dream come true.
In our conversation you’ll learn:
– How to get your heart’s desire
– The importance of big dreams and tiny action steps
– Making both your superpower AND the dark side of that superpower work for you in achieving your dreams

Lately I’ve been asking coaching clients “what makes my coaching magical?” (You’ll hear Regan and I talk about this in this episode.)
The answers I’m getting back are fascinating – it turns out that something I’m really good at is helping parents stop treading the conventional path and do what works for THEM, and their family.
We all have dreams. What are you doing to make yours reality?
If you’re ready to go on the adventure of your life with me as your guide, write me, and let’s talk!

Plus… This is a digest episode, so in addition to our conversation I’m bringing you a story that I recently sent to the folks in my free email newsgroup! Click this link to get weekly letters like this delivered right to your inbox: weturnedoutokay.com/weekly

I share about the “Parents Working from Home” free virtual summit that I’m honored to be included in (happening this coming Saturday 2/27, 10 AM to 1 PM EST).

And, I give you an update on a new segment of this podcast: it’s called Triumphs and Misdemeanors, and I hope you will be a part of it!
Join us!
Continue reading “357: What does your heart long for?”

What my Italian relatives know about the off-season

This is me in Venice, Italy, circa April 1992 : )

Go ahead and settle in for a story…

I’ve been sharing these letters with you based on what is in my heart. I try to make them helpful, give you an idea to help you keep going, and I hope this one will accomplish that.

Today’s is something of a story, a different way for me to share an idea to help you keep going.

It’s also the chance for me to bring you into my life back before I had kids.
Before I even knew my husband Ben.
Back when I was a daughter, but not yet a mother.

Way, way back then, I had the opportunity to go and spend a semester in Florence, Italy.
I knew not one single word of Italian, but still I was looking forward to this new adventure!

The Italian relatives in my family are on my mother’s side. They include my grandfather, my mom’s dad, who was born and grew up as a child in a tiny little town in Italy, right along the Adriatic Sea.

Just before I left my grandfather said to me “If you can, go to Rodi and meet your relatives.”

I wasn’t sure. I couldn’t even speak Italian yet! What would it be like to manage the trains, and get all the way out to the countryside, to this tiny fishing village?

But I held onto my hope that I would be able to do it.

A friend of mine spoke outstanding Italian, and agreed to come with me a few months later (when I got more comfortable with the ways of the country, figured out the trains, and had some idea of how to converse with people.)

And so we set off. We didn’t try to contact anyone beforehand, we had no idea how we were going to get in touch with my relatives. It was early March 1992, there was no cell phone service or social media yet to help us get a sense of the lay of the land, never mind the actual people who lived there!

It felt like a true adventure! Continue reading “What my Italian relatives know about the off-season”