Podcast Episode 183: How Your Attitude about Youth Sports Affects Your Child (A Your Child Explained Episode)

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

With fall youth sports in full swing, I wanted to share something ugly that I witnessed last spring: a dad berating his young son, after the boy and his fellow teammates took a real drubbing, losing a soccer game big-time.

In this empathy-lacking, divisive grown-up-up world, what kids learn on the soccer field seems more important and relevant than ever before; listen to today’s show to find out how a parent’s attitude makes or breaks a child.

Click here to sign up for the upcoming Streamline Your Mornings Free 5-Day Challenge, which I’m bringing back for a second round because the first one was so effective and helpful for parents…

And go to weturnedoutokay.com/183 for key links to this episode! Continue reading “Podcast Episode 183: How Your Attitude about Youth Sports Affects Your Child (A Your Child Explained Episode)”

Podcast Episode 180: The Dangers of Overscheduling – A Your Child Explained Episode

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

It’s the beginning of the school year, if you’re listening in real time, and thus the time of year where we are all figuring out new routines, new bus routes, new sports schedules and after-school activities… Definitely a time where we can feel overwhelmed.

Today’s show answers Shelley’s question: “what are the hazards of overscheduling my kids?”

The way I see it, there are two big hazards in overscheduling.

It’s worth, whether at the beginning of the school year or whenever you hear this, understanding the dangers in putting too many items on our children’s schedules.

Only then can we understand the potential damage we’re doing, and begin to figure out how to reduce the overscheduling.

Today’s episode outlines the 2 big hazards in overscheduling, so hit play and listen in!

Please note: if you’re feeling overwhelmed about school day morning chaos, the Streamline Your Mornings 5-Day Challenge starts in less than a week! Registration closes on Sunday, September 3, so sign up for this FREE challenge now. (9/3/17: Click Here for the Waitlist.)
The challenge includes an email in your inbox outlining a step you can take to calm the overwhelm and streamline your mornings every day from Monday, September 4 through Friday, September 8. On that day you’ll also have access to my Facebook live, back-to-school Ask Me Anything, happening in the private We Turned Out Okay Facebook group.

For notes from today’s show, for key links, and to sign up for the free Streamline Your Mornings 5-Day Challenge go to weturnedoutokay.com/180! Continue reading “Podcast Episode 180: The Dangers of Overscheduling – A Your Child Explained Episode”

Podcast Episode 177: Ever Tempted to Spank Your Child? Here’s Something that Works Better. (A Your Child Explained Episode)

If you need a life preserver, today’s episode is for you.

Hello! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

“My wife doesn’t want me to spank them, I get it – I don’t want to either but what else can I do?” These words come from a listener’s email, a desperate plea to figure out how to discipline kids and keep order during the daily grind.

This listener goes on to say “I got spanked, and turned out okay… I got more than spanked to tell you the truth, and I know what the constant barrage of words being screamed at me feels like. To be honest, I’d rather have had the spanking.”

This listener deftly identifies two things that do not work with kids:
1) a “constant barrage of words”
2) spanking.

So, what do you do instead?

Listen to this episode to find out!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/177 for key links. Continue reading “Podcast Episode 177: Ever Tempted to Spank Your Child? Here’s Something that Works Better. (A Your Child Explained Episode)”

Podcast Episode 174: Feeling Responsible for Our Kids’ Bad Behavior, The Dreaded “No!” and Other Tough Parenting Conundrums in this Your Child Explained Episode

Hello! To listen to today’s show, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

It’s time for NPC member Jen’s parent-coaching call, and it’s a doozy: Jen was feeling guilty about being “responsible” for getting her kids into situations where they were overtired and/or frustrated. She took their misbehavior as her fault, and in this episode I help her figure out a more productive way to frame the situation.

We also dig in to several other issues, and by helping Jen resolve them on-air, I also get to help you figure out what to do when:

  • Your child screams “no!” In those moments when you need her to do what you’re asking her to do instead of what she wants to do.
  • You’re trying to figure out how far to push your child in interacting with strangers.

Listen to this episode for detailed answers; to read my suggestions and check out the key links for this episode, go to weturnedoutokay.com/174… Enjoy the show!

The bottom line on who’s responsible for the children’s behavior, even when they are overtired and/or frustrated… It’s the children who are responsible for their own behavior. Always, even when they’ve been dragged into a situation that isn’t ideal.

When you think about how many times, as a grown-up, you feel stuck in a frustrating situation, sometimes when you haven’t had enough sleep – chances are good that you don’t turn to the person behind you in line and say something mean, or start an argument with them (I hope not : )

Even when we know it’s our fault, we need to hold children to the expectation that ultimately they are responsible for their own behavior. The earlier we do this, the better they get at it.

When they scream “no”:
During our conversation, Jen made a discovery – her daughter only screams like this when it’s time to finish up, very specifically, with screen time. Armed with this knowledge, we discuss how she can make this particular transition go more smoothly.

When they’re not friendly to strangers:
I share the problems that can crop up when parents insist on their children “saying hello” or thank you to people whom the children don’t know.

We discuss ways to model “friendliness with strangers,” and how much more effective it is to give our kids time and space to get comfortable before interacting in their own way.

Key Links:

Are you worrying about the insanity of back-to-school time? Join WTOO’s Streamline Your Mornings challenge, where we’ll spend five days in early September making your mornings better! Click the Streamline Your Mornings Challenge picture in the sidebar to the right for details.(9/3/17: Click Here for the Waitlist, so you’ll know immediately when I offer this challenge again.)

Jen is a member of the Ninja Parenting Community – that’s how she got this parent-coaching call! To become a ninja at parenting just like Jen, click here .

If you love the show, please rate and review us in iTunes… That’s how so many people find us. Click here to rate/review, and thanks so much!

Podcast Episode 171: When Your Kids Only Want Snacks – A Listener Q&A for this Your Child Explained episode

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

We’re sticking with the food theme this week, today addressing listener Tim’s concerns about kids and food:

“Why are my toddlers not eating fruits/vegetables? Why are they only eating snacks (cereal, popcorn, Lunchables, grrrrrr)?”

In March of 2016 I made the whole month about food – how to handle picky eaters, how to prepare food without going bankrupt or spending hours in the kitchen – I even created a Guide to Food and Family, with recipes and food hacks, which you’ll find in the sidebar at weturnedoutokay.com!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/171 to listen and to read about my responses to Tim’s questions (and thank you, Tim, for asking : ) Continue reading “Podcast Episode 171: When Your Kids Only Want Snacks – A Listener Q&A for this Your Child Explained episode”

Podcast Episode 165: When Kids Want the Same Stuff Again and Again (and Again…) – A Your Child Explained Episode

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and click the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Why do kids want everything repeated, again and again?

One member of the Ninja Parenting Community might be channeling your thoughts right now: “Oh why do little kids obsess over certain movies? I have been putting Monsters Versus Aliens on every day for a month. What is going on those little brains that makes them demand the same movie so often for so long?”

Kids do this all the time… and not just with movies, they do it with books, and stories, and music, too.

In this Your Child Explained, we dig into why, exactly what’s happening in “those little brains” that makes them want everything repeated endlessly.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/165 for key links and show notes! Continue reading “Podcast Episode 165: When Kids Want the Same Stuff Again and Again (and Again…) – A Your Child Explained Episode”

Podcast Episode 162: When Praise Is Harmful to Children – A Your Child Explained Episode

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Do you tell your kids how beautiful they are, or how smart they are? This past Tuesday’s conversation with Nicole Gardner reminded me once more how dangerous praise – at least the wrong kind of praise – is.

Read the show notes for today’s episode, about how to make sure you’re giving the right kind of praise (and not the harmful kind of praise) by clicking the link below…

You’ll also find an installment of my new YouTube video series, Parents Time-Out, that addresses this issue as well – if you’ve only got a few minutes, but you want to understand how praise can hurt, the video is the place to start.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/162 to check it out, and have a great day! Continue reading “Podcast Episode 162: When Praise Is Harmful to Children – A Your Child Explained Episode”

Podcast Episode 159: A New Ninja Tactic for this Your Child Explained Episode

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

It’s been a busy few weeks in the Ninja Parenting Community – I counted twenty different issues that parents in there are collectively dealing with – and I knew that, if they’re having these issues, most likely so are you!

Lots of them are bigger issues – but some of them can be resolved so easily. In today’s episode, I talk about one of the latter, and how simply by changing one phrase to a related, but different phrase makes disciplining our kids lots easier.

The reason has to do with child development, and the simple fact that kids aren’t just small adults; they have a completely different way of understanding the world from us. Once we know that, it makes everything else easier.

To find out more about today’s ninja tactic, listen to this short-and-sweet episode, or go to weturnedoutokay.com/159 for show notes and key links!

Continue reading “Podcast Episode 159: A New Ninja Tactic for this Your Child Explained Episode”

Podcast Episode 156: Letting Kids Experience “Natural Consequences” – A Parent-Coaching Call for Today’s Your Child Explained Episode

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and click the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Today, we’re bringing you another great parent-coaching call with one of our Ninja Parenting Community members!

Like many children, Sabrina’s youngest daughter struggles with the family’s morning routine. She likes to be independent, she doesn’t like “to be told,” and oftentimes she is not hungry for breakfast before school.

Sabrina brings up a whole host of issues having to do with routine, following the rules, and the natural consequences of a child’s actions.

If you’re experiencing any concerns in any of those areas – and with kids, who isn’t? – you’re going to love today’s episode!

Click weturnedoutokay.com/156 for the show notes and key links in today’s episode, including the link to a book Sabrina has found helpful, It’s Okay Not to Share.

Continue reading “Podcast Episode 156: Letting Kids Experience “Natural Consequences” – A Parent-Coaching Call for Today’s Your Child Explained Episode”