Podcast Episode 172: Parent Success Stories!

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Today’s episode is a celebration: the Ninja Parenting Community is one year old! That means I’ve been helping parents of young children figure out their toughest challenges for a whole year – and we’ve overcome some doozies:
– “How do I handle multiple meltdowns?”
– “What do I do with my child’s disrespectful language and shouting?”
– “I’m so overwhelmed… What with sports schedules and everything else, there’s never enough time!”

This episode is all about the sweet taste of victory; we’re highlighting success stories! Find out how one member planned and executed a great beach day with her young children, and cheer on another member as she celebrates four whole days without any meltdowns…

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/172 for key links, and to watch my appearance on the Women Inspired TV show – my own personal success story. Continue reading “Podcast Episode 172: Parent Success Stories!”

Podcast Episode 171: When Your Kids Only Want Snacks – A Listener Q&A for this Your Child Explained episode

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

We’re sticking with the food theme this week, today addressing listener Tim’s concerns about kids and food:

“Why are my toddlers not eating fruits/vegetables? Why are they only eating snacks (cereal, popcorn, Lunchables, grrrrrr)?”

In March of 2016 I made the whole month about food – how to handle picky eaters, how to prepare food without going bankrupt or spending hours in the kitchen – I even created a Guide to Food and Family, with recipes and food hacks, which you’ll find in the sidebar at weturnedoutokay.com!

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/171 to listen and to read about my responses to Tim’s questions (and thank you, Tim, for asking : ) Continue reading “Podcast Episode 171: When Your Kids Only Want Snacks – A Listener Q&A for this Your Child Explained episode”

Podcast Episode 170: Kids and Food – A Conversation with Mom and Author Jeannie Marshall (Rebroadcast)

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and click the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Today’s guest, mom and author Jeannie Marshall, showing off a gorgeous frittata that she just made!

When today’s guest, Jeannie Marshall, became pregnant with their son Nico after her family relocated to Italy, she developed a fascination for how Italians introduce their babies to food, and the part that food plays in Italian children’s lives now that factory foods and agribusiness have made inroads into Italy. She details her experiences in one of my favorite books, The Lost Art of Feeding Kids.

One memorable line: Jeannie writes about when Italian mom of baby Rocco, a boy the same age as Nico who is being exposed to first foods as well, says it’s as though we North Americans are “teaching our babies not to like food.”

Our conversation, originally aired in March of 2016, reflects Jeannie and her family’s love of Italy, Italians, and Italian food – and also their first-hand experiences fighting that battle that we fight every day: getting inexpensive and tasty meals on the table (and then getting our kids to eat those meals).

Find key links and to complete notes by going to weturnedoutokay.com/170! Continue reading “Podcast Episode 170: Kids and Food – A Conversation with Mom and Author Jeannie Marshall (Rebroadcast)”

Podcast Episode 169: When Siblings Attack – Stopping The Rivalry (Rebroadcast)

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Can you think back on your own childhood and come up with some crazy sibling-fight stories? I’ve heard some doozies, people being hung out windows or tied to trees by their siblings, the time a brother put green dye in a sister’s hair – so the sister retaliated by pouring glitter into the brother’s bed!

Siblings can hurt each other in lots of big and small ways; sometimes it feels like there’s no good intervention.

Today, I share about a book that I first read while pregnant with my second: Siblings Without Rivalry by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. This book is the second of The Fabulous Five, five books which will transform your relationship with your children, so get reading them ASAP (here’s the blog post detailing the Fab Five)!

It made the list because, quite simply, if you have more than one child – or if you grew up in a family where you had at least one sibling – you will finally understand how to help when siblings fight.

Today, we talk about the ups and downs of brothers and sisters, both in our families growing up and in our homes as parents. Go to weturnedoutokay.com/169 for show notes and key links! Continue reading “Podcast Episode 169: When Siblings Attack – Stopping The Rivalry (Rebroadcast)”

Podcast Episode 167: How to Have Happier and More Engaged Kids – An Interview With Nursery School Owner Tanya Trainor (Rebroadcast)

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Today’s episode, originally broadcast in late 2015, was super fun to record because I got out of my usual studio and hung out at what’s easily the most amazing playground I’ve ever seen. All of the equipment we see on a typical playground – huge climber, big slide, jungle gym – was gone, and in its place were loose pieces. Bricks, cement pavers, wooden siding, bales of hay, an 8 foot long rowboat, tree stumps suitable for sitting on or rolling around, a rain gutter with a hose near the top: these were some of the many things that replaced more typical playground equipment.

It’s not a huge space, and today’s guest, nursery school director and owner Tanya Trainor of Miss Tanya’s Nursery School, knew that typical equipment would no longer work when, in spring of 2014, she found out that the fall zones required around each piece of equipment were expanding. So, Tanya and her staff did an amazing thing: they asked the children, “when we get rid of the climber out on the playground, what should we replace it with?” Their answers created the wonderful results spread out before me.

Listen to this episode to discover:

1) how these playground changes brought about the wonderful improvement in children’s behavior while outside

2) the children’s contributions to this new outdoor play space, and the difference contributing has made in their feelings of autonomy and collaboration

3) the dramatic drop in frequency of negative behaviors; Tanya reports far fewer incidents of conflict or need for redirection since moving to the new kind of playground

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/167 for key links and to listen – and have a happy Fourth of July!

Continue reading “Podcast Episode 167: How to Have Happier and More Engaged Kids – An Interview With Nursery School Owner Tanya Trainor (Rebroadcast)”

Podcast Episode 166: Tell Don’t Ask – A Ninja Tactic That Really Works

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Have you ever had it happen where you’re asking your child to do something, and he or she is saying “no”?

Depending on your child’s age or developmental maturity level, I bet you hear that word – “no” – an awful lot.

Today’s ninja tactic digs into one way to cut down on the noes!

It’s all about giving kids directives instead of asking, which sounds simple but in reality can be pretty complicated: when do we give them choices, ask questions, and when is it time to give a directive and communicate to them that “this is not a choice”?

Click weturnedoutokay.com/166 for show notes and key links to this episode! Continue reading “Podcast Episode 166: Tell Don’t Ask – A Ninja Tactic That Really Works”

Podcast Episode 165: When Kids Want the Same Stuff Again and Again (and Again…) – A Your Child Explained Episode

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Why do kids want everything repeated, again and again?

One member of the Ninja Parenting Community might be channeling your thoughts right now: “Oh why do little kids obsess over certain movies? I have been putting Monsters Versus Aliens on every day for a month. What is going on those little brains that makes them demand the same movie so often for so long?”

Kids do this all the time… and not just with movies, they do it with books, and stories, and music, too.

In this Your Child Explained, we dig into why, exactly what’s happening in “those little brains” that makes them want everything repeated endlessly.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/165 for key links and show notes! Continue reading “Podcast Episode 165: When Kids Want the Same Stuff Again and Again (and Again…) – A Your Child Explained Episode”

Podcast Episode 164: Turning Parenting Mistakes Into Successes – Karen is the guest in today’s Guest Episode!

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and click the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Normally, in a We Turned Out Okay guest episode, it’s me doing the interviewing… but today that format gets turned on its head!

Recently the gentleman behind the Blessing Not Stressing podcast, Rob Broadhead, invited me onto his show. He’s such a great interviewer and the idea behind the show is such a lovely one that of course I said “yes please” – and as we spoke I knew I wanted you to be able to listen in as well.

Rob splits his conversations into several episodes; on this WTOO episode today we’re bringing you the middle two, “School of Hard Knocks” and “Mistakes and Forgiveness.”

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/164 for links to both the first and final portions of my conversation with Rob. I hope you enjoy listening to this conversation as much as I enjoyed participating in it! Continue reading “Podcast Episode 164: Turning Parenting Mistakes Into Successes – Karen is the guest in today’s Guest Episode!”

Podcast Episode 163: Change what your kiddos play with, get happier kids!

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

These last several Just You and Me episodes have been about important stuff: being happier at home, having well-behaved children in public, helping kids resolve their own conflicts.

They’ve each hinged on one particular idea: that the toys kids play with and what’s in their environment, can really change their behavior. (Head back to episodes 154, 157, and 160 for the rest of the “Loose Parts” series.)

Today’s episode is about how to actually make these changes – without spending much, if any, money and without driving yourself bananas at the same time…

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/163 for key links and the promised free PDF of what to bring in to replace all those 1-trick toys that you’re tripping all over at home! Continue reading “Podcast Episode 163: Change what your kiddos play with, get happier kids!”

Podcast Episode 162: When Praise Is Harmful to Children – A Your Child Explained Episode

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Do you tell your kids how beautiful they are, or how smart they are? This past Tuesday’s conversation with Nicole Gardner reminded me once more how dangerous praise – at least the wrong kind of praise – is.

Read the show notes for today’s episode, about how to make sure you’re giving the right kind of praise (and not the harmful kind of praise) by clicking the link below…

You’ll also find an installment of my new YouTube video series, Parents Time-Out, that addresses this issue as well – if you’ve only got a few minutes, but you want to understand how praise can hurt, the video is the place to start.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/162 to check it out, and have a great day! Continue reading “Podcast Episode 162: When Praise Is Harmful to Children – A Your Child Explained Episode”

Podcast Episode 161: How Children Reach Their Potential – A Conversation with Educator Nicole Gardner

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Recently I attended a presentation about all the key stuff happening in our kids’ brains, in which today’s guest, Nicole Gardner of the Bezos Family Foundation, shared research, stories, and ideas that resonated so deeply with me, I knew I needed to get her on the show.

I learned that:
– babies’ brains create millions – millions! – of new neurons every second
– young kids are all set to learn what they need to know, they come equipped with the best educational tools built-in
– the single most important learning tool they need from their environment: trusted adults

Today’s conversation dives into raising kids in the best possible environment, taking advantage of the science around this subject and really cultivating a great relationship with our kids – something we want anyway, right?

Click weturnedoutokay.com/161 for show notes and key links, including to a really cool app for parents, the Daily Vroom!

Get my free “handle every temper tantrum guide”

With littles, meltdowns are hard to avoid.

So I came up with the HEART method to help you:
– remain calm
– stop worrying about judginess with public tantrums
– know you’re not alone

To calmly, decisively handle every on of your child’s tantrums, click the button below!

Click Here to Get the Guide

Continue reading “Podcast Episode 161: How Children Reach Their Potential – A Conversation with Educator Nicole Gardner”

Podcast Episode 160: Kids and Conflicts; How to Help – Part 3 in the Open-Ended Play Series

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Does your child ever get into arguments, verbal or otherwise? What’s your instinct when this happens – do you want to jump in and smooth everything over?

That’s not an unusual reaction, because we parents really hate it when our kids fight!

In this Just You and Me episode, we dig into why “smoothing everything over” is detrimental to our children’s development, and what to do instead.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/160 for show notes and key links, including to the wonderful conversation I had while sitting out on the playground – where kids played as we spoke – at Miss Tanya’s Nursery School!

Continue reading “Podcast Episode 160: Kids and Conflicts; How to Help – Part 3 in the Open-Ended Play Series”

Bonus: when kids want one spouse and not the other; and handling excessively dramatic children

Each week I send out a “what’s on the podcast this week” email to people who signed up for a free guide or a free online class – and this week, I screwed up royally about an episode of We Turned Out Okay!

I wrote the email update for this past week well before I recorded the episode that went up this past Thursday, and as a result what I said would be this week’s Your Child Explained episode wasn’t.

If you received the email and you were scratching your head about it, I’m so sorry!

I recorded this bonus episode to make it up to you…

In it, I answer two issues, both brought up by a member of the Ninja Parenting Community (it had been a pretty rough couple of weeks for this member, making me so glad she had us to turn to):

1) “Part of the challenge I’m having is with exaggerated statements like “writing kills me” or “you always make me do this.”

2) “Later there was a meltdown about wanting Daddy, instead of Mommy.”

I address both issues in this bonus episode, I hope it’s helpful!

PS – Want to get on my email list yourself? Go to weturnedoutokay.com and click the image link in the sidebar (you’ll know which one : )

PS again – head over to https://weturnedoutokay.com/ninja-parenting-community-login/ to see how you could become a member of the Ninja Parenting Community.

PS again again – Scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button to listen. Enjoy the show!

Podcast Episode 159: A New Ninja Tactic for this Your Child Explained Episode

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

It’s been a busy few weeks in the Ninja Parenting Community – I counted twenty different issues that parents in there are collectively dealing with – and I knew that, if they’re having these issues, most likely so are you!

Lots of them are bigger issues – but some of them can be resolved so easily. In today’s episode, I talk about one of the latter, and how simply by changing one phrase to a related, but different phrase makes disciplining our kids lots easier.

The reason has to do with child development, and the simple fact that kids aren’t just small adults; they have a completely different way of understanding the world from us. Once we know that, it makes everything else easier.

To find out more about today’s ninja tactic, listen to this short-and-sweet episode, or go to weturnedoutokay.com/159 for show notes and key links!

Continue reading “Podcast Episode 159: A New Ninja Tactic for this Your Child Explained Episode”

Podcast Episode 158: “Recess is a Right” – Speaking with Medical Ethicist Dr. Arthur Caplan about things that affect our children’s lives

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Today’s guest, a medical ethicist (in other words, a person who helps determine what is ethical in people’s health), took my breath away with his eloquent words on stuff that impacts young children every day.

Dr. Arthur Caplan, professor of bioethics in the Department of Population Health at NYU’s Langone Medical Center, and I talk about everything from cloning mammoths to stopping malaria and the Zika virus… and also what the average person can do to improve their – our – lives.

Dr. Caplan shares his strong feelings on the academic pressures placed on elementary school age kids today, and what he says sure gives me hope.

I know you’re going to love our conversation! To read the notes, and to grab the key links, visit weturnedoutokay.com/158.

 

Get my free “handle every temper tantrum guide”

With littles, meltdowns are hard to avoid.

So I came up with the HEART method to help you:
– remain calm
– stop worrying about judginess with public tantrums
– know you’re not alone

To calmly, decisively handle every on of your child’s tantrums, click the button below!

Click Here to Get the Guide

Continue reading “Podcast Episode 158: “Recess is a Right” – Speaking with Medical Ethicist Dr. Arthur Caplan about things that affect our children’s lives”

Podcast Episode 157: Three Steps to Well-Behaved Kids Out In The World

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and press the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

The part of a wedding “where they do karate.”

Any graduations, weddings, vacations, or visits with family coming up in your life?
If you’re nervous about how your child will behave, hopefully we can help you feel better by the end of this episode!

As I see it, there are three steps to getting our little kids to behave out in the world (at least – most of the time…)

Click weturnedoutokay.com/157 for the show notes, including an outline of the 3 steps, for a picture of “the wedding where we do karate,” and for key links that come up in this episode! Continue reading “Podcast Episode 157: Three Steps to Well-Behaved Kids Out In The World”

Podcast Episode 156: Letting Kids Experience “Natural Consequences” – A Parent-Coaching Call for Today’s Your Child Explained Episode

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and click the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Today, we’re bringing you another great parent-coaching call with one of our Ninja Parenting Community members!

Like many children, Sabrina’s youngest daughter struggles with the family’s morning routine. She likes to be independent, she doesn’t like “to be told,” and oftentimes she is not hungry for breakfast before school.

Sabrina brings up a whole host of issues having to do with routine, following the rules, and the natural consequences of a child’s actions.

If you’re experiencing any concerns in any of those areas – and with kids, who isn’t? – you’re going to love today’s episode!

Click weturnedoutokay.com/156 for the show notes and key links in today’s episode, including the link to a book Sabrina has found helpful, It’s Okay Not to Share.

Continue reading “Podcast Episode 156: Letting Kids Experience “Natural Consequences” – A Parent-Coaching Call for Today’s Your Child Explained Episode”

155: Your Biggest Weapon in the War Against Parental Guilt – Speaking With Returning Champion Ashley Milne-Tyte of The Broad Experience Podcast

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Today, Ashley Milne-Tyte of The Broad Experience podcast returns to We Turned Out Okay, and our conversation goes in a direction I hadn’t anticipated: how women can take on too much, become overwhelmed, and end up unhappy and possibly even ill.

Because Ashley’s podcast focuses on “women in the workplace,” our conversation starts out with the focus on women and moms. But somewhere in here, we stop talking just about women – and start talking about parents. Parental guilt is a thing, and not just among the moms!

Today’s episode is big-picture, and Ashley shares a tremendous weapon that we all have in our possession, something that helps us alleviate parental guilt and make our lives, and our children’s, better.

I hope you enjoy our conversation!

For show notes, key links, and to sign up for tomorrow’s NPC FAQ Q&A – where you get your questions answered about the Ninja Parenting Community and you also get a FREE copy of my book, Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics – go to weturnedoutokay.com/155!

Continue reading “155: Your Biggest Weapon in the War Against Parental Guilt – Speaking With Returning Champion Ashley Milne-Tyte of The Broad Experience Podcast”

154: Less Strife at Home by Asking A Single Question – Part 1 in the Open-Ended Play Series

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

What might your child do with cardboard boxes?

What if there was one question you could ask – and the result would be a more harmonious home? (I know, I don’t love the word harmonious either, but it really fits here, so I’m sticking with it.)

A harmonious home is one in which the people who live there enjoy each other’s company, at least more often than not. Differences are worked out peacefully, everybody’s needs are met, and it just feels like a good place to be.

We’re looking at how to make that home a reality in the first of a series I’m creating to help you have:
– Less strife at home
– Better relationships, including smoother experiences out in the world with your young child
– Nobody living in your basement when they’re thirty

Today is all about the at-home part, digging into how you can have a more harmonious home.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/154 for the show notes and key links – including the sign-up button for our upcoming NPC FAQ Q&A on Wednesday, May 10th, 2017 at 1 PM EST!

Continue reading “154: Less Strife at Home by Asking A Single Question – Part 1 in the Open-Ended Play Series”

153: Handling Kids’ Bad Language: A Your Child Explained Episode

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Today, a listener question about kids and bad language:

“My four-year-old has picked up some bad language from other kids in her class. How should I deal with being called “dog face”!!

This can seem like a puzzle to which we parents just don’t have the answer. If you’re feeling like that, listen in! In today’s episode I share how to prepare for when your child throws something like this that you – and how to handle it in the moment.

For full show notes, including an easy-to-remember plan in answer to listener Nicola’s full question, and the button to download my How to Handle Every Temper Tantrum guide, go to weturnedoutokay.com/153!

Trouble with tantrums?

With littles, meltdowns are hard to avoid.

So I came up with the HEART method to help you:
– remain calm
– stop worrying about judginess with public tantrums
– know you’re not alone

To calmly, decisively handle every on of your child’s tantrums, click the button below!

Click Here to Get the Guide

Nicola asks:
“My four-year-old has picked up some bad language from other kids in her class. How should I deal with being called “dog face”!! I’m sure it can get worse as they get older but I didn’t expect it to start so soon. We’ve talked to her about why we use kind language etc. and even put her in her room to calm down when she uses it. A friend suggested that I follow the French tradition where “kids” are allowed their own special low-key swearword – it’s a thing, everyone in the country knows this word?! I’ve suggested my four-year-old can use a phrase/word if she is frustrated, maybe go to her room and yelled into her pillow etc… hmmmm.

“Any help much appreciated!”

I have SO much sympathy!
Today, I outline steps to take so you’re prepared for this kind of kid-thing:

1) Don’t take it personally.
– Our children oftentimes want to run these words past parents to see what we’ll do: will we shout? Will we do the same thing as the teacher in school did, or that other kids did when someone said this?

2) Model calm.
– If we give them an angry tirade, or punish harshly, we’re giving them attention for bad behavior. Our goal is to give them attention only for good behavior, minimize our attention to the bad.

Let me just say – I know how hard this is! Simple in theory, tough in practice. Hang in there.

3) Model what you WANT to see and hear.
– The younger the child, the simpler your language needs to be:
“We don’t say words like that in our family.”
“I don’t say that to you, I don’t expect you to say that to me.”

4) Redirect.
– Actively change the conversation:
“Now, it’s time to get your shoes on.”
“Do you want your yellow shirt or your green shirt today?”

I hope that helps, Nicola, and you if you are in Nicola’s position!

Questions or comments? Click here to ask or share : )

Key Links:
We dig into episode 150, about how our belief in the fundamental goodness – or not – of the universe affects our children’s world view. Click here to listen to that Your Child Explained.

152: What Happens When Kids Don’t Get What They Need? Talking With Early Childhood Education Professors Miriam Beloglovsky and Lisa Daly

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Rarely am I speechless – in life or podcasting – but today’s guests took my breath away with their observations of real young adults who grew up without open-ended play in their lives.

Lisa Daly and Miriam Beloglovsky, authors and professors, know a lot about how easy it is for a child growing up today to have zero practical knowledge. It’s because their lives were spent preparing for, and taking, tests.

Now as adults, these young people score really well on tests… But cannot accomplish simple tasks such as using screwdriver. Imagine not having the mechanical knowledge to use a screwdriver!

Thankfully, Daly and Beloglovsky spend their days teaching tomorrow’s teachers, and have a wonderful go-around for this burgeoning problem. And, it is burgeoning – more and more young people leave high school without any practical knowledge, move out into the world looking really well-prepared on paper, but lacking competence and confidence in many key areas of their lives.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/152 for show notes and key links to this mind-blowing conversation with two thoughtful, engaged people!

Thankfully, human nature being what it is, Daly and Beloglovsky report that even grown-ups can learn these important mechanical, physical concepts.

But there’s only one way: through play.

It’s the tinkering, investigating, and coming up with “I wonder” questions that educates people about gravity, velocity, mechanics, and every other science or engineering concept.

So my question for you is: how are you incorporating play into your young child’s life?
The answer may be more important to their well-being and happiness than you imagine.

Key Links:

Check out Daly and Beloglovsky’s book, Loose Parts, here – it’s a great resource for incorporating open-ended play into your child’s life.

Also, their website, Reflective Perspectives, discusses more about open-ended play and loose parts. Click here to check it out.

Click here to read the Alliance for Childhood’s great paper, Crisis in the Kindergarten.

For my conversation with Tanya Trainor, nursery school owner and a woman who has seen the transformative nature of giving kids loose parts, go to weturnedoutokay.com/036.

If you’re seeing aggressive behavior, or sadness, or passivity in your child – and you’re worried that it’s due to the lack of open-ended play – the Ninja Parenting Community could be just the place to get help.
It’s where I help parents just like you figure out how to handle all the tough stuff our kids throw at us.
Click here to learn more about the community!

151: When Your Child Shouts “No” At You – Part 4 in the Common Parenting Challenges Series

Come to my free, live, online class on handling Common Parenting Challenges!

Why: to learn :
– how to avoid fighting about parenting stuff with your spouse
what to do when your child rebels against your daily schedule
– how to teach your young child patience
– how to handle your young child’s disrespectful “No!”

When: Thursday, April 20, 2017, 8 PM EST

Class is interactive – bring your questions!

You’ll receive a free, downloadable reference for the next time you come up against one of these challenges…

Sign up for “How to Handle 4 Common Parenting Challenges” by clicking the button below:
Click Here to Register

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Recently I spoke with a mom to 2- and 4-year-old girls. Her youngest is just starting to push back (as all 2-year-olds do) – and she’s pushing back some times really disrespectfully!

Shouting “no!”

Sometimes lashing out.

Refusing, disrespectfully, to do what her mom needs her to do.

Sound familiar? That’s why we’re including this subject in the Common Parenting Challenges series!

Find out how to handle it when your child is disrespectful by clicking weturnedoutokay.com/151, where you’ll find show notes and key links – including the sign up to the free, live wrap-up to the Common Parenting Challenges series, happening Thursday, April 20, 2017 at 8 PM EST!

Trouble with tantrums?

With littles, meltdowns are hard to avoid.

So I came up with the HEART method to help you:
– remain calm
– stop worrying about judginess with public tantrums
– know you’re not alone

To calmly, decisively handle every on of your child’s tantrums, click the button below!

Click Here to Get the Guide

Handling disrespect and shouted “no’s” has an easy-to-understand solution… But one that’s really tough to put into practice.

Step 1: Ignore the disrespectful ways of saying “no.”

Step 2: Model and tell your child what to say instead.

Step 3: Use redirection, especially with toddlers.

It can be so difficult to ignore the “no!”
But I know you can do it – if I can do it, anyone can, seriously.

While you’re ignoring disrespectful screaming, and even perhaps hitting or kicking or other acting-out, you’re modeling calmness and patience. When/if you can, try to overtly tell your child what he or she can say instead:

“We don’t hit in our family. You can say “I’m angry” or “I’m frustrated” instead.”

If you’re using redirection, continue with something like “Will you put on your sneakers or your boots today?”

Simple in concept, right?

I know you can do this this.

Questions or comments? Click here to share.

Key Links:

Want to listen to the How to Make No Sound Like Yes episode? Click here.

Click here for the first Common Parenting Challenge, episode 142 about how to handle disagreements with your parenting partner.

Listen to the second Common Parenting Challenge, episode 145 about how to help your child adhere to your daily schedule by clicking here.

Click here for the third Common Parenting Challenge, episode 148 about teaching patience to your young child.

150: How We Shape Our Kids’ Worldview: A Your Child Explained Episode

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

We’re going big-picture today, talking about Einstein’s idea that “the most important question facing humanity is, “is the universe a friendly place?”

Our answer to this question shapes how our children will answer this question; if we feel surrounded by enemies, so will our sons and daughters. Is that what we really want for them?

Or, do we want our children to feel themselves surrounded by friends?

For full show notes – and to sign up for next week’s free, online, interactive class, Common Parenting Challenges and How to Handle Each, go to weturnedoutokay.com/150!

Come to my free, live, online class on handling Common Parenting Challenges!

Why: to learn :
– how to avoid fighting about parenting stuff with your spouse
what to do when your child rebels against your daily schedule
– how to teach your young child patience
– how to handle your young child’s disrespectful “No!”

When: Thursday, April 20, 2017, 8 PM EST

Class is interactive – bring your questions!

You’ll receive a free, downloadable reference for the next time you come up against one of these challenges…

Sign up for “How to Handle 4 Common Parenting Challenges” by clicking the button below:
Click Here to Register

Here is Einstein’s full quote:
“I think the most important question facing humanity is, “is the universe a friendly place?” This is the first and most basic question all people must answer for themselves.
“For if we decide that the universe is an unfriendly place, then we will use our technology, our scientific discoveries and our natural resources to achieve safety and power by creating bigger walls to keep out the unfriendliness and bigger weapons to destroy all that which is unfriendly and I believe that we are getting to a place where technology is powerful enough that we may either completely isolate or destroy ourselves as well in this process.
“If we decide that the universe is neither friendly nor unfriendly and that God is essentially “playing dice with the universe,” and we are simply victims to the random toss of the dice and our lives have no real purpose or meaning.
“But if we decide that the universe is a friendly place, and we will use our technology, our scientific discoveries and our natural resources to create tools and models for understanding that universe. Because power and safety will come through understanding its workings and its motives.
“God does not play dice with the universe.”

It’s really not fair, is it, that we don’t find out until after they are born how much our behavior shapes and determines our kids’ lives.

Fair or not – it’s the way life is.

So we parents really need to decide: friendly, or unfriendly?

I choose friendly. How about you?

Click here to let me know what you think!

Key Links:

Sometimes podcasting takes you to places you weren’t anticipating, and today is no exception! Click here to check out The Big Dark, Rodman Philbrick’s masterpiece with this Einstein question firmly at its core.

 

149: Work-Life Balance, Unconventional Parenting, and Fostering Kids’ Authenticity – Roundtable Part 2

Welcome! To listen to today’s episode, scroll all the way down to the bottom of this post and hit the triangular “play” button. Enjoy the show!

Today’s episode – which has some swears, please listen away from your kids or with headphones – is one I’ve been working on putting together for a really long time: in it, a corporate lawyer, a midwife, and I sit down in a roundtable and discuss 3 topics really relevant to you, one chosen by each of us.

Corporate lawyer and mom-of-2 Angela Gregory lived down the street from us until just a few years ago, and has been a great role model for me about how to follow your passion as the family breadwinner and support your loved ones as the kids grow up.

Midwife and mom in a blended family of five children Dina Fraize has also been a great role model, showing how to embrace the chaos in a large family and raise thoughtful, engaged young men.

We’ve been friends now for years, since our kids were pretty small, and I know you’re going to get so much out of our conversation! Or should I say, conversations… this is part two of 2 roundtables because we just had so much to talk about.

Today’s topics: stay-at-home dads, the benefits of unconventional (read: “weird”) parenting, and raising kids to do what they love – even if you can’t see how that might be useful later.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/149 for show notes and key links, including the sign-up for my upcoming free, live online class in how to alleviate Common Parenting Challenges!

Come to my free, live, online class on handling Common Parenting Challenges!

Why: to learn :
– how to avoid fighting about parenting stuff with your spouse
what to do when your child rebels against your daily schedule
– how to teach your young child patience
– how to handle your young child’s disrespectful “No!”

When: Thursday, April 20, 2017, 8 PM EST

Class is interactive – bring your questions!

You’ll receive a free, downloadable reference for the next time you come up against one of these challenges…

Sign up for “How to Handle 4 Common Parenting Challenges” by clicking the button below:
Click Here to Register

Topic 1: ” I Parent Weirdly”
– in which Dina asserts that she parents weirdly; I suggest that perhaps everyone does; Angela states she doesn’t – and we decide that “weird” is the wrong word and we all like “unconventional” better.

Topic 2: Mr. Mom
– in which Angela shares that at-home parenting wasn’t for her, and how embracing that and running with it made everybody in her home happier.

Topic 3: How do we help kids not hate their own voice?
– in which I talk about the great example my mother set when I was a young woman; a college professor asked me to join her newly-formed women’s choir, and I asked my singer mom “why would anyone want me in their choir?” – Mom told me “Don’t waste time hating your own voice.”
– We discuss the many different “voices” our kids have; Angela shares how she and her husband support their son’s love of graffiti; we all agree that the word voice is a stand-in for “authenticity,” and what a key character trait that truly is.

Questions or comments? Go to weturnedoutokay.com/contact to share!

Key Links:

Click here for our Roundtable, part one, episode 146.

Click here for Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture on YouTube; here for his book by the same name. Seriously, don’t miss these, they’re life-changing.