Starting to Figure Out the Answers

One unwritten rule we have in our culture is: never ask a woman her age. So I’ll just tell you mine – I’m forty-four… today!

But I’m also just being born. Today, my birthday, is also day one of this website, this blog, this first day of the rest of my (and your) life. What will we do with today?

It’s a pretty big day, and I woke up a little bit early, feeling a little bit worried… What if I did too much with my arms yesterday, and they hurt today as a result? What if somebody’s sick, or the car breaks down? So many what-ifs.

But I have an ace in the hole, a book of days that in the six months I’ve been reading it, has often given me the feeling that the author is reaching across the two decades that have passed since she wrote it, squeezing my hand reassuringly and saying “today’s answer is right here.”

I’ve had some health issues these last years (the About page can tell you more), and they were nearly at their worst when I picked up this book last November. In a day book like this, the idea is that you read a short entry every day, so on November 10, I read the entry “November 10” in the book. And the wild thing is, the first month or so was about coping with setbacks, especially health-related setbacks, and about giving thanks, probably in the lead up to Thanksgiving. I felt like the author was channeling my problems and addressing them. It felt like magic!

And it still does. So this morning when I woke up worrying and thinking my what-ifs, I got myself a cup of coffee, felt grateful for the hug and big smoochie Ben gave me on his way out the door, and sat down with Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach. I knew that Sarah was doing it again when I read the title of today’s entry, Walking as Meditation… I said to myself, for the umpteenth time, “this book is a frigging miracle!” (Only, in slightly stronger language that isn’t fit to print here.)

Maybe it sounds crazy to somebody not into exercise, maybe exercise makes a huge difference in my life because I had the ability to use my legs swiped away from me for a time, but Sarah’s solution became clear with the title. Why hadn’t I thought of it before? “I walk regularly for my soul and my body tags along,” she writes, and that is exactly how I feel too.

Forty-four feels like the right age to be today, like maybe I finally know myself well enough today to consider the tougher parts of life with a little bit of wisdom.

In my own sometimes funny, sometimes tearful, sometimes potty-mouthed way, I feel like I’m just starting to figure out some answers… I hope that you and I can connect and figure out some more together.

Let’s start with a walk.